Chapter Eighteen
Ronan’s brows pulled together, and his fingers clenched into fists. He couldn’t be sure who he was most angry with. His people for their cruel jokes at his wife’s expense, his grandsire for not assuring she was protected from such vicious gossip, or himself for leaving her to face everything alone.
Had he stayed, people wouldn’t have spoken of such things.
“Ye think I went to fight for France because you displeased me in bed?”
“That was my understanding.” She pulled herself up to her full height and glanced away.
“I have since spoken to a few women about such things that happen in the bedroom, and I suppose…I may have seemed stiff and unyielding. At the time, I didn’t realize it was encouraged that I…
do things for your pleasure. I thought I was supposed to stay still until you were done.
” She cleared her throat. Her cheeks had long since turned crimson.
“Maybe if ye had said something, I could have done it better. I would have tried.”
No seasoned seductress could fake a maiden’s blush like that or be utterly oblivious to a man’s interest in her. Whatever his wife had become, he was more confident it was not an adulteress.
“Brenna.” He turned away, shame tinting his voice. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand I shouldn’t think badly of ye if you took comfort with women when you were away.
Men need release, and whatever ye may have taken when you were away was physical.
Geordie said I was not to be hurt by it.
I—I am not.” Her words did not match the hurt he saw in her eyes as she glanced down at her hands.
His grandfather had expected him to betray his vows. He took a step closer, wanting to ease her pain, but he stopped when Brenna flinched. He’d frightened her with his harsh words and his anger. Shame and guilt, his constant companions in the days after he left returned with a vengeance.
This was not her fault, none of it. He didn’t deserve to take his pleasure until he was sure she understood and trusted him.
Until it was something she wanted as much as he did.
“I had planned to leave for France before I even met you, Brenna. You heard the promises exchanged between my grandsire and me. I was to wed you and consummate the marriage, and he would approve. You may not have understood everything from the other side of the door, but I promise you, I didn’t leave because you displeased me. ”
She smiled shyly. “It was a nice kiss.”
He returned her smile. “Aye. It was until I got carried away and nearly took you here where anyone could happen upon us. That is not the way I want our reunion to be. You deserve better than that.”
She looked like she might argue as they turned for the horses. He knew waiting for trust between them was right, but if she wavered, he didn’t think he’d be strong enough to stay.
“I’ll race you back to the keep,” she said, surprising him.
She took off running, and he jumped into action.
His horse was closer, and he took advantage of the opportunity to wield it around and head for the castle gates.
She was fast, but he was quicker and had a head start.
Even taking Brimstone around to the far side of the stables, he was dismounted and striding down the row of stalls as she rode in.
Her hair was coming free of her braid and her cheeks were full of color, this time from excitement rather than embarrassment if her wide smile told him anything.
While he had handed Brimstone off to a groom, she brushed down her horse herself.
He pulled the saddle from Merlin to help her finish the task quicker.
When she led the stallion into the stall, he followed behind her and closed the door, ready to steal another kiss. Or two. Although he wasn’t sure if it was stealing when his wife so clearly approved.
He brushed a few loose strands of windswept hair back from her face.
And before he could utter the request to kiss her, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his.
This time he made sure to keep his urges to kissing.
Even when his wife’s hand trailed down his back to hover just over his arse, which had his control near to breaking.
He refused to take his wife in a horse stall any more than he would have made love to her in the forest. Both things seemed exciting and adventurous, something he wouldn’t mind exploring, but not this first time they found their way back into each other’s arms.
To do it justice, he needed a proper bed and the whole night without interruption. He had waited all this time. Once he got started, he might need the next day as well.
He was contemplating all the things he wanted to do to her when Merlin grew restless and stomped his foot. Ronan didn’t know what was amiss.
Brenna whispered, “Oh, no.” She wound a rope through the door and pulled Ronan behind it.
“What is—”
“Shh…” She gave him a frantic look. “You wanted the truth. You will hear it now if you only listen,” she whispered a moment before Ronan heard his uncle’s voice.
“Brenn-na,” he said in a sing-song voice as if they were playing a game. “I know ye are in here. I saw you ride in.”
The door was tested, and the horse reared up, his hooves catching the edge of the stall. Ewan chuckled. “Very well. I don’t need to see you. You need to listen.”
“I don’t wish to listen to more of your lies. You said my husband wanted to kill me, and I nearly believed you, but then I remembered who I was dealing with.”
Ronan watched as his wife held a trembling finger to her lips reminding him to be quiet. She had said this was his chance to hear the truth, and he understood what she meant now.
If he remained quiet, he would hear how Ewan treated Brenna when no one was watching him. Ronan wasn’t pleased that his uncle had frightened her with such a lie. Ronan would never hurt Brenna.
“I saw the fresh bruises on your throat. Everyone in the clan knows he did it.”
“A nightmare.” She spat the defense.
“That’s what he wants everyone to believe, so when he finally chokes the breath from you, he can say he did it in his sleep. You’d do well to find another bed to sleep in.”
Brenna rolled her eyes at Ewan’s suggestion, though it was possibly the only true thing Ewan had said so far. Ronan did fear hurting his wife while in the throes of a night terror. But not on purpose. Never.
“Do you keep that blade close by your bed to protect yourself? It might come in handy,” Ewan taunted.
“What do you want, Ewan? My guards will come looking for me soon, so say your piece and go away. I know you care nothing for my neck as you tried to choke the life from me that night I marked ye.”
Ronan was impressed by her bravery. Her hands shook, which spoke of her fear of Ewan, but she stood up to him as if she had the courage of a lion.
How horrible it must have been for her all this time to live like this.
He would reward the loyal men who’d protected her when he couldn’t, or rather didn’t.
Ewan chuckled. “He won’t believe you.”
Ronan shook his head, for he’d already believed her even before this.
“Everyone knows you wanted me out of the way when the laird put me in charge. I’m not the only person telling him what happened.”
“My father shouldn’t have put you in charge of the clan. I should be laird.”
Ewan’s anger caused his voice to shake, and he must have slammed his hand against the stall door.
“You mean Ronan should be laird,” she corrected him, though this time even she seemed surprised.
“For now. But it never should have been you. What a disgrace.”
Ronan’s hand tightened into a fist. His muscles readied to jump from their place behind the door where Ronan could punch his uncle for his rudeness. But Brenna placed her finger to her lips again, reminding him to remain quiet.
“Geordie made the decision, not me.”
“He was weak and blinded by your manipulations. Ronan won’t be as foolish. He’ll see you for the menace you are and deal with you swiftly.”
The door moved again as if the man kicked it, startling the horse before the heavy tread of footsteps faded. Brenna took a few deep breaths before looking at him.
“I don’t wish to harm you more than I have already. I don’t know why he would lie. He never…” Ronan shook his head. Ewan had always been a close friend and trusted ally. They might not have been as close as Ronan and Shane, but they were like brothers.
“He is terrified you will find out who he is.”
“This raving lunatic is not the uncle I knew all my life. I don’t understand what has hardened him so.”
“I’m sorry, Ronan.”
He was surprised by her apology. After everything she’d gone through because of him, he was the one who owed her an apology.
“Why are you apologizing to me? I left you here unprotected, and then I took his side without even allowing you the chance to explain. What kind of husband doesn’t stand with his wife? It is me who is sorry.”
“I’m sorry he isn’t the man you once looked up to like a brother. To find out your friend and uncle is not who you thought him must surely be a disappointment, and I’m sorry for it.”
He leaned closer and pressed a single kiss to her lips. This woman continued to surprise and captivate him each minute he spent in her presence.
“I thank ye, for your kindness. But know this: blood or no, I will do whatever I need to do to the bastard if he tries to harm ye. He will not come between us. Do you understand?”
Ronan blamed himself for everything that had happened to his wife in his absence, but he would see she was safe from this moment forward.