Chapter 34 Finn
FINN
Once I'm able to pull my shit together, I run to the store. After I return, I head straight to Marcee’s apartment, taking the stairs to avoid another awkward elevator encounter.
Alexis is there helping Marcee move furniture.
Her dad had headed back to his hotel to do some work before dinner.
Things almost feel normal again, aside from the crushing guilt weighing me down.
“Dad?”
Looking over at Marcee and finding both her and Alexis staring at me, I smile sheepishly. “Did I miss something?”
The girls look at each other then laugh. “Just me saying your name four times! Anyways, now that I have your attention. I was going to ask if you’re excited about the date with Melissa this weekend?”
Alexis whips toward me. “Melissa?”
Oblivious to the tension in the room, Marcee does a twirl, setting a vase on a shelf. “Yeah, she’s a woman I met at a spin class. She’s thirty-eight, divorced, and gorgeous! I convinced them both to let me set them up on a date. How awesome is that?”
“So great,” Alexis says with false excitement.
She holds my stare, looking vulnerable and young. I can’t do this here. “I’ll explain later,” I mouth. Nodding, Alexis turns to open the box of books she's unloading.
Alexis heads back to her place after getting a text from her dad letting her know he was pulled into a meeting and will miss dinner.
Marcee asks her to eat with us, but she waves off the suggestion with a smile, saying she was going to eat a tub of ice cream for dinner since her dad wasn’t there to scold her.
As soon as Marcee and I finish dinner, I tell her I need to head home as well. She hugs me, thanking me for all my help and for always being there for her. Her words are a knife twisting in my gut. If she knew about me and Lex, would she still say that?
I make my way to Alexis’s place, a mixture of excitement and guilt warring inside of me.
When the door swings open revealing her in a tiny bathrobe that hits mid-thigh, all other thoughts fly from my brain.
Scooping her up, I step inside, slamming the door closed, before pinning her against it and claiming her mouth.
She responds beautifully, wrapping her legs around my waist and threading her fingers into my hair.
Fuck, I needed this, needed her. All the stress and tension of the day falls away as I press into her.
“Fuck, baby, I need you.” My words are a harsh whisper.
“Yes, Daddy, I'm aching for you too.”
“God, Lex. What you do to me is unreal. I could kiss you all night.”
“Yes.” She punctuates her words with a thrust of her hips, dragging her pussy along my hard length.
“We have to be quick. I don’t want Marcee to see my car and ask questions.”
Everything changes in an instant. Alexis pulls away from me, unwinding her legs. Shocked at the abrupt halt to what was building to a mind-blowing quickie, I just stare at her.
“Is this all we will ever have? Stolen moments and hurried fucks?” Her crass words pull me from my stupor, igniting the anger that has been simmering in my gut since the fight with her dad, no, since the start of this hellish week.
I’ve had enough of lawyers, ex-wives, interrogations from fathers, all of it.
I came up here for a distraction, and I’m getting grilled—again.
“What do you fucking want from me, Lex? I don’t know what this is, or where it's going.”
“Okay, let me ask a different question.” She takes a deep breath and steps around me into her living room. The space between us feels like a mile instead of a few feet. “Are you really going on the date Marcee set up for you?”
The accusation in her eyes kills me. Scrubbing my hands through my hair, I pace the small space. “Lex, baby. You are like nothing I have ever experienced and have caught me so off guard. But it’s complicated.”
“Are. You. Going. On. A. Date. With. Melissa?” The way she enunciates each word like I'm a fucking moron is the last straw.
“Yes!” I shout. “Fine, are you happy, Lex? Yes, I'm going to go on a date with Melissa. I’m going because my daughter asked me to do it.”
“Look, Finn, I know we have never defined this,” her hands motion between us, “but I sure as hell am not down for double dipping. Yes, we are complicated, but unless you’re okay with me screwing around with other guys, that is a bullshit answer, and you know it.
” Her voice is rising with each word, her breath speeding up, the anger and hurt written all over her face. It’s too much, it's all too much.
“Stop acting like a child, Alexis.” She reels back like I slapped her.
“It's not like this can go anywhere; there is just too much stacked against us.” I watch in horror as the fight drains out of her.
Eyes going dull, shoulders slumping, head shaking at me.
My heart shatters as I watch the pain wash over her, still unable to believe I said that to her.
This is such a mess, but I can fix it. I have to fix it.
“Lex…” Her name is a plea on my lips. Stepping toward her, I reach out, needing to touch her.
Eyes glassy, she takes a step away from me and shakes her head again.
“You should go, Finn.” Her words are barely a whisper but I feel them to my core.
“Lex…” Grasping for the right words, I search her eyes, but they’re dead. All the warmth and feeling that is so her, is gone. The bing of a notification on her phone breaks the silence in the room. With a huff, she looks at her phone, blinking twice at whatever is in the text.
Closing her eyes, tipping her face to the ceiling, she cries. “Of fucking course. You win universe, I give up.” Words said more to herself than me but have my heart racing.
“What was that? Shit, is it Marcee? Did she figure it out?”
Fire returns to her eyes before she steps around me to her front door, wrenching it open then turning to meet my gaze. “I can’t do this anymore, Finn. I tried so hard to be different, but it’s no use. I’m…” She pauses and looks around with tears in her eyes. “I’m done.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means I’m out, and you need to leave, right now.
” Her lips quiver as she speaks, but she lifts her chin in pure defiance of the emotions playing in her eyes.
For a split second, I consider refusing to go, making her listen to my apology, figuring out how we can move forward, but the way she holds herself all stiff, her hand that's not on the door clenching over and over.
For the first time in years, she looks breakable, like the slightest touch, the wrong word, and she might crumble into a million pieces.
It breaks me.
I did this.
I hurt her.
I walk through the open door, forcing my hands to stay at my side, when all I want to do is comfort her. “I’m sorry, Lex.”
Not even bothering to look at me, she shuts the door in my face.
Unable to move, I stand staring at the closed door, hoping with all that I am that it will fly open and that I haven’t broken us beyond repair.
I startle at a loud crash like something was thrown across the room before she screams, “FUCK!” And I know there is no coming back from this.
I just lost her.
My feet are impossibly heavy as I make my way to the elevator. Numbness settles over me, except in my chest. There is a god-awful pain where my heart is supposed to be. I absently rub my knuckles over the spot, trying to lessen the pain radiating from it.
It doesn’t work.