Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
Simon
I stepped through the back door with the bundle of clothes in my arms and froze.
Three sets of eyes stared at me, each expression showing curiosity—and something else. Amusement, maybe. Knowing.
"I can explain this," I said quickly.
Sean giggled and stuffed a bite of biscuit in his mouth, clearly delighted by whatever he thought he'd discovered. Harlan shook his head and went back to cooking, but I caught the ghost of a smile on his face.
Atticus was the one who spoke up. "Yes, I would love an explanation, especially considering Tanner is asleep upstairs." He paused, letting that settle. "We saw his car, and when I peeked in the room, he was out cold. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
His eyes flipped down to the clothes in my arms and back up to me as his brow rose.
I closed the door behind me and moved further inside, suddenly feeling like I was under interrogation. It disturbed me how closely he was looking. Like he could see right through me. He'd uncover all the secrets I hadn't yet sorted out myself if he kept staring like that.
"Tanner showed up last night while I was checking on Ginger," I said, keeping my voice even. "She was making a bunch of noise because of the weather.”
“As she always does,” Harlan grunted as he spread golden, fluffy eggs out onto a tray. My stomach tightened as hunger moved through me, sharp and insistent. I didn't eat much at dinner last night, so I was definitely going to have to double my serving this morning.
Then again, I would eat less if it meant Tanner got more food.
I'd already begun to think of him as mine, even though there was no indication that he would be. The assumption should have scared me, but instead it felt… right. Natural, like breathing.
Atticus cleared his throat. "So Tanner showed up…"
"Yeah," I said. "I saw the headlights from the stables and came up to the house to see who it was.
He sat in the car, and I swear to you, he looked like he'd seen a ghost. He didn't even know I was standing there for several seconds.
" I paused, remembering the devastation in his eyes.
"He said he just needed to get away, and this was the place he chose.
I showed him to the empty guest room, and since he didn't bring any bags with him, I figured he might need to change clothes. "
I waved the bundle in my arms, as if that explained everything. It was a reasonable enough explanation. Except, really, there was more to my desire to give him clothing.
My clothing.
I waited to see what they would say next, my pulse thrumming in my ears. Sean poked Atticus in the shoulder, and they shared some type of silent conversation, staring deep into each other's eyes—that wordless communication that came from years of intimacy and trust.
The sound of bacon sizzling in the background further heightened the tension bleeding through me. They wouldn't be upset that Tanner was here. They surely wouldn't care that I gave him a room to sleep in.
But maybe me bringing my own clothes up was the bad part—too revealing, too intimate.
I had meant to text them last night about Tanner's arrival, but I'd forgotten. I was too swept up in the sweet man and the dark shadows looming over him. Too focused on making sure he was okay to remember anything else.
Eventually, Atticus turned back to me. "We're not upset about anything.
We're worried. Tanner showing up unannounced is not like him.
He always at least calls or something." He leaned forward slightly.
"Why don't you take him his clothes and let him know breakfast is ready?
Hopefully he's had enough sleep. If not, he can nap later. "
"Naps are great," Sean said around a mouthful of food.
Harlan and I chuckled as Atticus shook his head fondly. "Eat, boy, and don't talk with your mouth full."
Sean rolled his eyes but did as his husband said.
He was also his Daddy, after all. The couple, as well as the others on the ranch, didn't hide their preferences.
Though they had no clue that I was one of them too.
I had no need to share the news since I was single and not intending to be with anyone.
The ranch was meant to be a healing place for me, not the start of me finding new love.
Or so I'd thought.
I took the stairs two at a time until I was on the second floor, standing outside Tanner's room. My heart hammered against my ribs as I raised my hand, then knocked softly.
"Come in," he said, his voice muffled through the door.
I opened it to find him sitting up in bed, eyes bleary as he scratched his head. The clothes he wore—the remnants of his suit—were wrinkled beyond repair, twisted from sleep.
"Simon," he said, his voice heavy with sleep.
It hit me how intimate this moment was. How seeing him this way was a gift. One that I would treasure immensely. His hair was mussed, his defenses down, and his face soft in the morning light filtering through the curtains.
"Hey, bud," I said, the endearment slipping out before I could stop it. "I brought you some clothes. Figured you might want a shower. I'm sure they'll be a bit big on you, but they'll last for now until we can get you something better suited."
He smiled as his cheeks turned bright pink, the color spreading down his neck. "Thank you. I have a bag in my car, but it's another suit. I didn't really plan to be here long, and there’s never reason enough to need plain clothes as a backup.”
I stepped further into the room and eased the clothes down onto the edge of the bed. I put my hands in my back pockets and rocked on my heels, suddenly nervous.
"Well, this is a ranch, so you're gonna definitely need some workwear if you intend to be here for a while. I'm sure some of the other guys might have things that fit you better. If not, we can take a quick trip back into town to get you something, or maybe run by your place."
It was then I realized I didn't even know where his place was. My face must have shown my confusion because he answered the unspoken question.
"I live on the opposite side of town." He picked at the blanket, not meeting my eyes.
"I don't mind going to my place, but I worry that I'll get caught up in stuff again if I'm there.
That, or I'll decide coming back isn't worth it.
I really wish someone else could go get me some clothes," he mumbled.
Was this an opportunity? Could I prove to him that I was someone who knew how to take care of him with this simple act?
Before I could overanalyze it or second-guess myself, I blurted out, "I'll go get it for you."
He blinked up at me, surprise written across his features. Then his head tilted. "Why would you do that? I mean, it's nice, but you don't have to."
I took a half step closer, then bent at the waist and put my hands on my knees so we were eye level.
"You don't need to tell me what I have to do and what I don't have to do.
I know that. What I'm doing is offering.
" I held his gaze, letting him see the sincerity there.
"I want to help take care of you, if you'll let me. "
"Okay, but only if you're sure," he replied, his voice small, uncertain. "I can text you my sizes if that helps."
He patted around on the bed as if looking for his phone.
"But first I have to find my cell phone. It's around here somewhere."
I grinned, spotting the device tucked under the edge of his pillow. Taking a chance, I leaned in to him, reaching for it. He froze, eyes going wide as he waited to see what I was going to do.
Our faces were closer than they'd ever been before, breaths intertwining in a way that made the air feel charged. I could see the flecks of gold in his eyes, could smell the faint scent of sleep and stress clinging to him.
I plucked the phone out and then slid it between us. "Found it," I said.
My voice was rougher than I intended, and with the way his pupils expanded, I could see the effect I had on him. The knowledge sent heat coursing through my veins.
"Thank you," he whispered as he took it from my hand.
The edge of his finger trailed across mine, and I nearly combusted. How could one barely there touch set me on fire?
I told him my number so he could punch it in, and then he shot me a text with his sizes.
I heard the chirp of my phone in my back pocket, but I didn't dare pull the device out.
I trusted him. Besides, no one else ever reached out to me.
It was just the guys on the ranch, and there was nothing they could have said that mattered more than this moment.
"I'm gonna head back downstairs now," I told him, forcing myself to straighten up and put distance between us. "Atticus and Sean are awake, and they told me to let you know breakfast is ready. When you come down, it'll be there for you."
He groaned as his stomach rumbled, pressing his hands against it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The faint scent of bacon had reached his room from where I'd left the door open.
"Breakfast sounds delicious," he said, almost reverently. "Even better than that, some coffee is gonna be amazing. I've become addicted to the stuff. It's how I function daily." He giggled and shook his head at himself, the sound light and self-deprecating.
I smiled at the sweet gesture as I stood to my full height. "Well, I don't want to keep you. I'll see you down there."
With a brief wave, I pivoted on my heel and walked away.
It was hard. I wanted to stay. Wanted to help him. Not in a sexual way or anything, more so to ensure he didn't have to work any harder than necessary.
I wanted Tanner to rest. Wanted him to give himself grace that he obviously had not been doing.
The boy needed a keeper, and I was pretty damn sure I was the man for the job.
Downstairs, more of the guys had shown up. They were chattering about the day's tasks, voices overlapping in easy camaraderie.
I ignored them as I went straight to the coffeepot.