Chapter Nineteen #2
I chewed my muffin, like I had all the time in the world to answer his question. Like him showing up here, out of the blue, out of his comfort zone, hadn’t rocked my entire world.
“I told my family it wasn’t,” I said, not answering his question. Not really.
He took a breath in through his nose, his nostrils flaring with the movement. “You do realize that they don’t believe you, right?”
My mouth hung open for a few seconds at his question, before I snapped it closed. “They don’t? Why not?”
Bal rolled his eyes at me. “Probably because they can do basic math, would be my guess, and they have doubts. I don’t know, I didn’t ask.
Keegan told Nik you were pregnant, and that he didn’t believe the story you had concocted about the baby’s alpha father,” He gave me a long look, his eyes traveling down my body.
“Nik told me you were pregnant, because even though you were saying it wasn’t mine, he thought I should know.
In case.” He finished with a sigh, and another tug of his hair.
“So, I’m going to ask you again. Is the baby mine? ”
“No,” I turned on my heel and started down the sidewalk. Away from him. Towards home. Or anywhere that was away from him. I just needed…away from him. “It’s mine.”
I heard his footsteps behind me, moving fast, but I didn’t stop until he was in front of me, blocking my path.
“Stop!” He held up his hands to stop me but didn’t touch me. When I went to move around him, he pleaded, “Kendrick, please, stop and talk to me.”
“Why should I?” I shouted, dumping my empty bag in a nearby trash can.
“You haven’t talked to me in months! But now, because you think you somehow might have some claim on my baby, I’m supposed to just what?
Talk to you? Act like nothing happened between us?
Act like I don’t–” I caught the word before it could leave my mouth, my voice breaking.
Hot tears pricked the backs of my eyes, and I shook my head.
“I can’t do this, Bal. I don’t want to do this.
Just go back to the village. Forget Nik told you anything.
I’ll…stay away. Or at least I’ll stay away from you when we visit.
I don’t want, or need, anything from you.
I know you don’t want me,” my hand moved instinctively to my belly, resting there.
Shielding the small life growing in the only way I could.
“You’ve made that clear. The baby isn’t yours.
They are mine. There was someone else,” I repeated the lie I had told.
“An alpha, when I got home. Sadie and I went out for new year’s and I was stupid. You’re off the hook.”
Bal stared at me, his face a blank mask. “You’re lying. I know you’re lying. Don’t lie to me. Not about this.”
“Why do you care?” Exhaustion swept over me, of my mind and body. From the stress of the past months, from seeing him now, from all the lies I had told. “You don’t care about me. I thought we were friends, at least, but it’s obvious you didn’t feel the same. So why do you even care?”
Bal shrank back from me, like I had physically slapped him, his face a mask of hurt. He opened his mouth, then closed it, shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans, and rocked back on the heels of his boots.
“You didn’t ask me to stay,” I continued, “you didn’t want me to stay.
You didn’t even kiss me good-bye when you brought me home.
You haven’t answered any of my text messages since we broke up.
” I used air quotes around those last two words.
“I thought we were friends, but I was wrong. I thought…I thought a lot of things, but I was wrong.”
“Kendrick, I…love you,” he whispered, his voice and eyes pleading. “I love you and not having you in my life is killing me.”
Kendrick
Past…
Me: I had fun tonight. Hanging out, I mean. Not the listening to my brother scream in pain part.
Grumpy Elf: He’s a terror when he is giving birth! He gets so mean! I still have nightmares from when he had Kacey.
Me: I’ve never heard my brother use so many swear words in my life! That was nuts!
Grumpy Elf: Now you know why I got out of there! I couldn’t go through it again.
Me: Well, thanks for taking me with you. And coming to get me so I didn’t miss it. I can’t believe my little brother has two kids now.
Grumpy Elf: Are you getting baby fever?
Me: Goddess, no! I get enough of a kid fix from my class. And coming to visit Kacey. Now Kieran too. He’s so tiny!!
Grumpy Elf: We should go get a present for Kacey tomorrow. You know, so she doesn’t feel left out with all the attention Kieran is getting. I mean, if you want to.
Me: We should, yeah. Let’s do it. And get a present for Kieran too. I completely forgot to grab the gift I had when you showed up today.
Grumpy Elf: Keegan apparently thinks due dates are just suggestions. Doesn’t he realize I make my schedules around his due date? It’s very inconsiderate of him.
Me: I’m sure he absolutely went into labor a week early just to fuck with your schedule. No doubt about it. Going to bed now. See you tomorrow.