Chapter 17
“I’ve never in my life saw myself doing anything like this,” I said.
It was the Saturday after Noelani invited me and my family over for Sunday dinner. After I dropped my mother and Ramina off at home that night, I went back to Noelani’s place and had her for dessert. The more time I spent with her, the more time I wanted to spend with her.
The time we spent apart, all I could think about was when I’d see her again, and all the things I wanted to do to her the next time that time came. This past week, she had some after-school events she’d signed up for, so we spent more time apart than I preferred.
Instead of sitting around missing her, I made the most of it and checked a few things off my to-do list. Today was the first time we’d seen each other since I’d left her house Monday morning.
“Stop complaining. It’ll be fun.”
“You’re probably right. I’d rather do this than the one where we have to do an actual painting.”
Noelani planned our date, and we were at a place called Kustomize Your Kicks.
It was a combination shoe store and art studio where you could purchase and paint a pair of sneakers.
While I thought it was a cool idea, I wasn’t the most artistic or creative person, so I was concerned with what my finished product would look like.
“Will you stop rubbing my ass in front of these people?” she whispered.
I looked around, and not a soul was paying us any attention.
“Baby, nobody’s looking at us. I can’t help it if this muthafucka is like a magnet. You been doing squats, or is it that good—”
“Rowdy, we’re in public.”
“All right, I’ll chill.”
The person helping us tried to stifle her giggles as she told us how the process worked.
After we chose and purchased our shoes, we put on a painting smock, chose the paint colors we wanted to use, and sat at a table in the back corner of the room.
Someone came over and gave us directions, and left us to customize our shoes, promising to check on us periodically.
The place had a nice, laid-back vibe. Hip hop and R&B music played in the background. There were only ten to twelve tables with a generous amount of space between them, so it probably never felt crowded. At the moment, there were six other pairs present.
“We haven’t talked about Sunday dinner,” Noelani said after a few moments of silence.
“Your family is big as hell, but they seem cool.”
“I didn’t tell you everyone’s connection to me when I introduced you, but everyone who was there isn’t blood-related to me. We just consider each other family.”
“I kinda peeped that. It’s a dope dynamic. My family ain’t like that. The only person I know on my mother’s side of the family is my uncle. Their parents are dead, and I guess she wasn’t close to her parents’ siblings. We got some distant relatives out there, but they live up north somewhere.”
“What about your dad?”
“Shit, I barely know him, so I damn sure don’t know his family. It’s probably better that way, anyway, considering he’s a piece of shit. You know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”
“That is what they say, but it’s not always true. You said your father was sentenced to life in prison. He must’ve done something pretty bad, yet you turned out pretty good.”
I didn’t abuse women, and I wasn’t a cold blooded murderer, but some would consider the things I did criminal. I often wondered if Noelani knew about my extracurricular activities if she’d still fuck with me.
“I’m all right. Definitely nothing like my sperm donor.”
“You probably haven’t had time to make many friends since you’ve been here because you’re either working or with me.”
“I’m not big on hanging around with a bunch of niggas. Even in high school, I kicked it with niggas while I was at school, but that shit was over when the final bell rang.”
“My brother is a lot like that. His only friends growing up were our cousins, Adan and Zayn. Now he’s cool with Breeze and a few guys that Breeze introduced him to. His circle is small. Maybe you can chill with them sometimes.”
I shrugged because it didn’t really matter to me.
“You don’t seem to have any friends outside of your family either.”
She laughed. “I have a couple. Besides my sisters and the other ladies you met at Sunday dinner, I’m good friends with Yazmeen Ravens, who's a teacher and my only friend at work, and her sister, Jahzara Bentley. Their husbands play for the Blazers.”
I stopped painting for a minute and looked at her.
“You’re telling me you're friends with the wives of two of the best players in the league, and Bronx Ravens’ wife is a teacher.”
“I am. Raine and Melodie are their hairstylists, and my brother has been cutting Dakari and Bronx’s hair since they’ve been in the league. They play pickup games during the off-season. If you ever want to join them, I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“That’s crazy. I don’t get starstruck easily, but those niggas are the truth.”
“They’re super down to earth too. If I keep you around, you’ll meet them eventually.”
“If?”
“Yes. I like you, but it’s still early. You’re bound to fuck up.”
“Damn. Tell me how you really feel.”
“I just did.”
“So, basically, you’re waiting for me to fuck up so you can drop my ass.”
“No. I wouldn’t say I’m waiting.”
I put my paintbrush down, put my elbows on the table, and clasped my hands together.
“That’s wild as hell, Noelani. I’m not perfect, so eventually I’m gon’ fuck up, but you sitting around waiting for that moment is crazy muthafuckin’ work.”
“I said I’m not sitting around waiting.”
“What do you call it?”
“I don’t know . . . not getting too comfortable.”
I shook my head because she had me fucked up, and I told her exactly that.
“You got me fucked up.”
I moved my chair back, stood, removed the smock, and headed for the door.
“Rowdy, wait. Where are you going?”
I didn’t stop until I was outside, and Noelani wasn’t far behind me, still wearing the smock.
“Go back inside and finish your shoes. I need a minute.”
“Rowdy, I—”
“Give me a minute.” The firmness and bass in my voice startled her. “My bad. I’ll be back inside in a minute.”
She nodded solemnly and went back inside. This was one of those times I wish I had a mature male in my life who I could go to for advice. I thought Noelani and I were on the same page after she tried to ghost me, but clearly, we were going into this with different mindsets.
I paced back and forth for a minute before deciding to call my uncle. He was married for twenty-two years, but I wasn’t aware of him dating anyone seriously in the ten years since his wife died. Hopefully, he could still give me some advice.
“What’s up, Nephew? Everything okay?” he questioned when he answered the phone.
“Everything is good, for the most part. I, umm, I need some advice.”
“I’ll help you if I can.”
“I’ve been seeing someone for a few months, and she just said some shit that pissed me off.”
“Okay. I take it you like this young lady, and things between you two are serious.”
“Yeah. Or at least I thought so.”
“What makes you think differently now?”
I shared the details of the conversation between Noelani and me. He listened without interruption, waiting until I was done to give his thoughts.
“Women are strange creatures, Nephew.”
“No shit.”
“Have things been going smoothly between you up until this point?”
“We had a slight hiccup when we first met, but it’s been cool since. She invited me, Ma, and Mina over for Sunday dinner, and I met her whole family.”
“Already? You’re moving fast, but that sounds promising.”
“We are, and I thought so too.”
“Do I hear a but coming?”
I sighed because I felt like a bitch out here talking to my uncle about my damn feelings.
“Sometimes, it seems like she’s trying to slow things down.”
“How so?”
“I spend most of my nights with Noelani, and when I don’t, it’s not my choice. I felt a way the first few times she put me on ice, but then I noticed a pattern. Whenever we spend three or four consecutive days or nights together, she puts some space between us for a day or two.”
“I’m sure that, plus the comment she made tonight, makes you think she’s not as into you as you thought, but all she’s doing is protecting her heart. Based on what you’ve shared, she likes you as much as you like her, she’s just afraid of being hurt.”
I took a minute to process my uncle’s words, and I guess it made sense.
“All right, Unc. I appreciate you taking the time to help me out.”
“It’s not a problem. Hey, have you thought any more about meeting your brothers?”
I hadn’t shared with him that I thought I’d seen one of them a few weeks prior.
“Nah. I’m good. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”
“Rowdy, you—”
“I’m good, Unc. Thanks again.”
I ended the call before he could press me anymore. After taking a deep breath, I went back inside. As I approached our table, Noelani must have sensed my presence. She turned around and stood, looking directly in my eyes with her sad ones.
“Rowdy, I—”
“Let’s finish up here and talk about it when we get back to your place.”
I could feel eyes on us, so I didn’t want to have this conversation here.
“But—”
“Noelani, I don’t want to talk about this here, baby. We’re good.”
She still looked sad, but she nodded and returned to her seat, as did I. The tension was thick, and we didn’t converse much except for a few comments about our shoes. An hour later, we were done. We had to leave our shoes overnight to dry, so we left empty-handed.
As expected, the ride to her place was quiet. I wasn’t interested in having this conversation in the car because I wanted to look her in the eyes while we spoke. The ride seemed longer than it actually was because of the tension, but I hoped it would be resolved soon.