13. Rachel
13
RACHEL
A ll weekend, I agonized about the kiss . I replayed the thrill of it in my mind. I felt the tingles of arousal spreading through me when I thought back to how turned on I was. Every time I let my mind wander and stick on the fact that Nate wanted to make out with me like that, so spontaneously, I felt a sly smile threatening to take over my face.
I kissed my boss.
And he liked it.
Those taunting, husky whispers telling me “how” to kiss could’ve made it seem like he was fulfilling his role of my mentor. He might have thought he was teaching me how to really kiss a man, but the idea of another person was not on my mind. At all.
Under his lips, held up by him, I was focused on feeling the glory of his hot kisses and wishing for more. If the snow hadn’t startled us apart, then I was sure we would’ve eventually been clued into how Julie was seeking him. She’d contacted me, hoping to find him for that one late meeting with someone in Japan who couldn’t do a video call with the time zone differences at any other time.
If not for those interruptions, though, how far would we have taken it?
That question plagued my mind all the way until I returned to the office on Monday. Unfortunately, I was too shy to ask him such a direct question about what could come next between us. I had no right to ask such a thing after he’d so clearly and succinctly said he’d sworn off women after Yasmin.
Then again, those kisses made a liar out of him. A man didn’t make out with a woman like that if he wasn’t at least slightly interested, right? Even at a basic, elemental level?
At least he’d played along with my lie that I was his girlfriend. Nate wasn’t slow. He had to have seen that I was trying to stand up to Yasmin.
But now, at the office and potentially near him again, I felt awkward and impatient to clear the air between us.
One hot, spontaneous make-out session, and then… what?
He knew I was clueless. I wanted him to set the terms here.
All day, I thought about that kiss. That man. My boss. The friend of my brother. The longer I let my thoughts and worries get jumbled up in my mind, the more antsy I felt. I was jumpy, and others noticed.
“Too much coffee?” TDH asked in the break room.
“Huh?” I looked at him, distracted from following a list of something another manager had handed off to me.
“I asked if you had too much coffee,” he repeated.
“Oh.” I didn’t bother looking back up again, wondering what this manager was looking for in the list of supplies expected for the holiday party prep team. They hired out for the setup, didn’t they?
Realizing TDH—no, TDAH, no, Eric —was still standing in my periphery, I looked up once. “I’m sorry. What did you need?”
He chuckled, then glanced aside. “Uh, nothing. Sorry.”
I shook my head, dismissing him. I didn’t have time for this. For him. With this list, I needed to make another trip down to the tenth floor and find what inventory list from which secretary again?
“Rach?”
I was torn from the list again, snagged by Nate’s familiar voice. He could sure stop me in my tracks.
“Hey,” I replied. Then I cleared my throat and wondered if I looked too excited to see him. The fact that he’d approached me had cheered me up. A silly old list could wait for this man, after all.
“Do you have a minute?”
I had no idea what he wanted from me, but I was all for finding out. My thoughts turned naughty, but that wasn’t so difficult when I was already envisioning him slamming me to the wall and kissing me senseless again.
I damned the start of a blush that warmed my cheeks. I’ve got lots of minutes for you, Nate. “Sure.”
He beckoned me to follow him into another room. Once we were both inside, I realized it was an empty office, yet to be filled with a new employee. All that stood in here were a desk and a chair, no personal effects to break up the lack of color.
I didn’t say anything while he reached around me to close the door. The list slipped out of my hands as I made room for him to turn again.
He stooped to catch the paper that fluttered to the floor. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Do I really sound that breathy? I cleared my throat and smiled quickly.
“Rach?” He dipped his chin, almost coming more to my eye level.
“Hmm?” I set the paper on the desk. Or I tried to. It didn’t make it. I knew without looking down that it rested on the edge and fell to the floor. This time, he didn’t pause to pick it up.
“I saw you with Eric.”
I blinked, surprised by how damning his observation sounded. “TDAH? Um… I… I haven’t even talked to him today, not really.”
He nodded, seeming pensive, yet amused. “I know.”
I raised my brows, totally lost. Huh? If he was aware of how little attention I was giving Eric, why was he bringing it up?
“I saw him trying to get your attention in the café downstairs this morning.”
“Oh.” I nodded. “I thought I heard someone trying to get my attention. I was waiting in line and looking at the things Julie texted me.”
“Then in the hallway, I heard him calling out to you, and you walked right past him.”
“Whoops.” Although, that time, I did hear Eric. I just hadn’t wanted to stop. First of all, I had to go to the bathroom. And second of all, since kissing Nate, I wasn’t sure I wanted Eric to target me at all. If Eric wanted to increase his efforts to get my attention, he’d fail. Now that I knew how heavenly and sinful it was to be kissed by Nate, it almost felt like… cheating. I didn’t want another man’s attention. I wanted his . My boss. My… mentor?
Confusion had hit me hard all day. First, I wanted to understand what , exactly, Nate and I were doing kissing like that when he was firm about never getting involved with another woman again. And second, why would he go so far to “teach” me by using himself as an example?
“It seems to me that you weren’t sure how to react to his interest.”
I furrowed my brow, gazing up at him as he stepped closer. I didn’t back up, but arching to make room for him had me stumbling, anyway.
“What?”
“It had me wondering if you wanted some pointers.” He lowered his voice, stalking closer. His gaze dropped, raking over me like a tangible caress.
“Pointers… about what?” I asked. My mouth was dry. My throat seemed tight. I wasn’t afraid, but I was so quickly aroused.
“Pointers on how to react when a man is interested in you.”
“Oh.” I looked at him and bit my lip. “Is this…?” I drew in a quick breath, unable to breathe fast enough with this rush of adrenaline and desire claiming me as he stepped into my space. My butt hit the desk, and I grew more aroused just knowing he was keeping me right where he wanted me—with him, and with no means to evade him.
“Is this another lesson?” I guessed, playing coy. The second I bit my lip again, he growled and reached up to free it with his thumb.
“Yeah. Call it a lesson.” He couldn’t remove his gaze from my mouth.
“This is 101 on…” I shivered under his caress. He stroked his hand up and over, cupping my jaw.
“On how to react when a man shows interest in a woman.”
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. My God, he was frying my brain. I set my hand on his chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating beneath his suit jacket and shirt. The green tie dotted with tiny Santa hats eased to the side of my hand placed there. I wasn’t pushing him away, but I wasn’t brave enough to grab this festive tie and haul him closer. Touching—in any way I could—was a baby step, a first step.
“Are you pretending to be interested in me?” I asked. I licked my lips and strained to swallow.
“Pretending?” He gave me a wicked smile as he wedged his leg between mine. The slight friction of his thigh on my core was nowhere near enough. “Do you think I’m faking anything with you, Rach?”
I shook my head, too mesmerized by his warm brown eyes to look away. “I’m hoping you’re not,” I whispered back. “That’s why I didn’t react to Eric.”
He seemed to hold his breath as he set his free hand on my hip. His fingers dug in ever so slightly as he waited for me to continue.
“Eric isn’t really the sort of guy I’d be interested in,” I admitted. It came out as a breathy whisper. When his fingers clutched my side harder, I gasped a little at the shock of how forcefully he wanted to hold me.
I wished he would. And without these layers of clothes. Wearing the mark of his fingers, his mouth, would suit me just fine.
“He isn’t?” Ever so slowly, he closed the distance between us. His head lowered toward me. That heated stare didn’t fade as he brought his mouth near mine.
With his fingers curved around the back of my head, holding me in place, I felt so secure, so wanted and needed like this. If he wanted to show me how a man would act when he was interested, he was a master of the class.
I closed my eyes, tipping my head up ever so slightly. Holding my breath, I willed my heart to slow. The last thing I needed at this moment was to pass out. Yet, I readied for his lips to find mine again, and the instant they did, I’d be in for a world of seduction. Of pleasure. Of?—
Nothing.
The door opened.
Light streaked into the room just as Nate was about to kiss me. Blinded by the brightness and the fact that someone was walking in on us, I squeaked in alarm and backed up.
I banged my knee on the desk in my haste. Nate retreated so quickly that he sent the chair rolling over the floor. And worst, my foot landed on the single sheet of paper I’d been holding, that list. Slipping, I let out another sound of surprise, but Julie was close enough to catch my elbow as she stood by the door she’d opened on us.
“And what do we have here?” she quipped.
“Nothing,” I blurted. “I was just…” I darted down to grab the list. “Checking something.”
“Yeah.” Nate sounded too breathless to be believable. “Just looking at that email.”
“Seems to be a list from where I’m standing,” Julie teased.
My cheeks were on fire. I’d never tame this blush.
“Right,” Nate said, exhaling a deep breath. “Um, an emailed list. That’s right.”
God, even he was struggling to come up with a lie to cover what we had really come close to doing in here.
Embarrassed at being caught almost kissing the boss, I escaped without another word or look back.