Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
AXL
I sat by the fire, Cam at my feet, a whiskey in hand. A couple of days ago, I would have thought it was blissful to be alone in the cabin with nothing to worry about besides walking Cam and watching the weather.
The glass felt cold in my hands, even though it was plenty warm inside. After Billie left, the temperature continued to rise. I could already feel the difference in the air outside. The snow covering the back field looked heavy and dense. It was going to be a hell of a mess out there when the temperature rose another few degrees.
Louise was gone. She’d been gone for months. I thought of all the updates I’d sent her and swallowed. My eyes burned, knowing she’d never be back to the cabin she loved. The sadness in Billie’s eyes made sense to me. I wished she’d told me from the start, but who was I to judge? I was the king of withholding information, and it had fucked me up completely. I figured that Billie was home talking with her mom about having me move out. It was clear that Billie was close to her mom, and I imagined the grief she felt for Louise was strong.
I took another sip of my whiskey. I wasn’t close to my family, and it wasn’t often I thought of my own parents. They were alive and living in Modesto, California. I hadn’t spoken to my mom in about a month. That wasn’t unusual. Mom didn’t like to talk on the phone any more than I did. When we did talk, it was about easy topics like her garden or the weather. We didn’t speak about my father.
I closed my eyes and sank back into my chair. I liked the feeling of the fire warming my skin. I took another sip of whiskey, enjoying the heat of the liquid going down my throat. Billie was here for less than three days, and she’d changed this place for me. I looked around the cabin, knowing full well that nothing was visually different. It was as if Billie being here had messed with the structure of the walls or tilted the foundation.
The cabin had felt like home to me from the moment I walked the property. After Ft. Lauderdale, I needed a change, a place to put down roots where nobody knew me. But I’d unknowingly drawn Angel here with me.
Billie was right. Angel was married.
I rubbed my eyes. Fuck my bad decisions. I knew it was probably time I head into town and back to the Buzz on In to talk with Mason and Angel. Mason had a ton of work ahead of him at the airport and the boys were home, but it would take more than the three of them and the regular crew to clear those runways and check out the planes.
That was it. I stood up and cleared my throat before downing the rest of my whiskey. I only had one glass, so I was okay to take the sled back into town.
My phone beeped, and for a split second, I hoped it was Billie, but I’d never given her my number. I guessed things were going back to normal. I had a signal again.
I glanced down at my messages. It was my buddy and former business partner, Miles Decker.
Can you talk?
Snowing like hell here. I have a few.
I looked at his message. Somehow Miles always knew when I needed a friend. We met during basic military training. Miles was tall like me, which put a target on us with the other pilots. We were assigned the same military training instructor. He was a hard-ass with a target on Miles since he came from money. I, on the other hand, was a nobody from Modesto, so between pressure from the pilots and our MTI, Miles and I became fast friends.
I sat back down, watching my phone and the three dots of typing. The phone rang.
“What’s up, brother?” I said, surprised to feel a smile cross my face.
“And there he is, the invisible man is alive.”
“Yeah, alive and cold. We got dumped on this week. A total surprise. Nobody saw it coming.”
“You still hiding out in the cabin in the woods?”
“Sure am.”
“I don’t get why you don’t just buy the place?”
“It’s not for sale,” I said, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
“You know, anytime you get tired of roughing it on the prairie, you can pack up and move into one of the houses in Beaver Creek, Sun Valley. Hell, I think Sebastian just purchased a property in the Dolomites.”
“That doesn’t sound right,” I said laughing. “Does Seb realize that is a hell of a long way from Vegas.”
“Yeah.” Miles laughed. “Sebastian does not like being far from Sin City, does he?”
I sighed, realizing it was good to hear my old friend. Long before Miles and I were in business with each other, we were friends. I did wonder what he wanted. “So, what can I help you with, boss,” I said.
“Quit with the boss shit,” Miles said. “You quit and left and I respect your decision.”
“Well, I appreciate that,” I said. “But you know I’m here if you need something.”
“I do,” Miles said. “Well, I might. I’m wondering if you would come fly for me. Short term. I’ve got a project in the works that requires discreet travel.”
I sighed. Miles knew the one way to get me out of my cave was to draw me to the skies. “Domestic? International?”
“Both,” Miles said. “I need someone next week.”
“Flying out of Lauderdale?” I asked .
“Yes, and your house is ready and waiting.”
I glanced down at Cam, who looked up at me with soulful eyes. It was as if she knew I was making a plan to leave her. “I need to board Cam.”
“Got it covered. Beau will take her,” Miles said.
Beau was the youngest Decker brother. In his early twenties, he still lived on what I liked to think of as the Decker compound with his parents. Beau was the surprise baby, a good fifteen years younger than Miles and me. I felt more like his old uncle at times, but I knew he had a good heart and he loved my dog.
“All right,” I said, sighing. “I’m in. I think it’s about time I get out of here.”
“You want me to tell Ronnie to get your fridge stocked?” Miles said. “You know she will be over the moon to have you back. All my assistants like you better than me.”
“How long do you need me?”
“Three months,” Miles said. “Tops.”
“So six,” I sighed.
“Yeah, probably.”
“You fucker,” I said. “You know things always take longer than you expect.”
“And you are the only person in the world who always calls me on my bullshit,” Miles said. “I need you on this trip, man, or I wouldn’t ask.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m in.”
“Great,” Miles said. “How soon can you get here?”
“Weather is shit,” I said. “I need to pack up, tie up some loose ends. I’d like to fly Guinevere and stow her in Orlando while we are gone.”
“Whatever you need,” Miles said. “Ronnie will call you. She can arrange packers, movers, whatever you need.”
“I got it. I don’t need your white glove support. I travel light.”
“Do you ever get tired of pretending you aren’t rich as hell?”
“I don’t pretend,” I said. “I just like doing shit myself.”
“All right,” Miles said .
“All right then.”
“You okay, man?” Miles asked. “You sound a little, I don’t know, sad?”
I laughed. “Oh, you think so? I’m fine. I’ve just been dealing with some weird shit here.”
“You want to talk?”
“Nope.”
“So, that sounds like a nope that includes a woman.”
“Yep.”
“Is it a woman that I have already met?” Miles knew Angel. He’d been there the night we met.
“It’s not her.”
“Good,” Miles said. “She doesn’t bring out the best in you, my friend.”
“I know.” I sighed.
“I thought there were only, like, ten women in that town. How in the hell did you end up tangled up with a woman in Smoke River?”
“I didn’t say tangled up. You did.”
“Well, whatever.”
“I thought I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Which is code for push harder, Axl,” he said. “I’ve known you half your life. What’s going on?”
“She’s the granddaughter of my landlord.”
“Axl, you could buy that place a hundred times … ”
“I told you it’s not for sale, plus it doesn’t belong to me,” I said. “I told you, this place spoke to me when I came here, but I think I knew it was temporary.”
“And now you have a thing for your landlord’s granddaughter. What’s the problem? Bring her to Lauderdale.”
“It’s a whole thing. She didn’t know I was here. Apparently, my landlord, Louise, never told her about me.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah, and she ended up here for a few days and things happened.”
“I am still not getting the problem. ”
“You know I don’t connect with good women.”
“Oh, do I ever,” Miles said. “Are you telling me that this woman, this mistake, isn’t an unavailable, sociopathic train wreck?”
“Easy, killer.”
“Look, I have met every woman that you have dated more than once.”
“Oh, you think so.”
“Look, you know I don’t give a shit who you sleep with, but you sound sad, man. And I just want to say that maybe if this woman made you feel something good, you should follow up on it. You deserve good things in your life.”
I let those words sink in for a minute. Did I deserve good things? I’d left home at eighteen and never gone back to help my mom. She was a good woman, still married to my abusive dad. I couldn’t get her to leave, so I did the only thing I could, I sent money, lots of money. They say a son inherits the sins of his father, and I suppose the only way I could be sure I didn’t become him was never picking a woman who would stay around long enough for me to hurt her.
“Did I just stun you into silence with my wisdom,” Miles asked, his tone playful, but I could hear an undercurrent of concern in his voice.
“Yeah, that’s enough relationship talk for me today, but I appreciate you. Are we supposed to hug now?”
“Totally.”
“All right, love you, man. When Ronnie calls, will you kindly answer it, and do me a favor and be extra sweet, no gruff bullshit. Her crush on you is as big as the ocean, and she hasn’t been the same since you moved.”
Ronnie was about sixty and helped raise every one of the Decker boys while working as the lead administrative assistant in the company. She considered me an honorary brother, and Miles wasn’t lying, she liked me best. “The fact you think I’d be a dick to that good woman hurts me.”
“I don’t know. I was just wondering if your social skills disintegrated while you were mountain-manning it out in the woods. ”
“Bye, Miles. I’ll see you soon.”
We hung up, and I stared at the fire. Well, that happened. FuckingFort Lauderdale. I cringed thinking of the everlasting sun and then sighed. The fire danced in front of my eyes and I felt the urge to pick up one of Angel’s blue blankets and just sleep a while. But there is no sleep for the weary.
I realized if I left Smoke River soon, things would be a lot easier with Billie. I could just leave. She didn’t want me here. She had a copy of the lease. I knew I could fight her to legally stay, but I felt the fight in my body leave. I had the means to fight and win, but I didn’t want Billie to lose.
Billie was right. I kept secrets from her. I didn’t tell her about Angel, because I knew she’d hate me for it. Hell, I hated myself sometimes, but for years I’d done as I pleased, and it just didn’t matter.
And the money was fun, but sometimes it felt like my life belonged to someone else.
Billie Prescott walked in here with her big brown eyes and made me question everything.
She was right. I lied about everything but how she made me feel. I was used to being with women who made my body feel good. Billie touched my body and my heart. She melted my long-frozen core. I felt changed, and it scared me. What had she done to me?
I looked at the fire and remembered the way the light danced across her skin. Her soft, warm belly had felt like home under the palm of my hand. Her breath against my neck made me feel young. Laying with her reminded me of the boy I was before I left Modesto. The boy who believed he could create a happily-ever-after for myself once upon a time.
Cam nudged my leg.
“Isn’t that right, my girl?”
She sat at my feet, nose in the air, brown eyes searching mine.
“I know. I miss her, too, but she’s gone. Besides, Miles needs us.”
Cam tilted her head to the side, making me wonder how much she understood .
“Don’t give me a guilt trip. She had to go home. I fucked up, and there is nothing I can do.”
Another head tilt.
“I know,” I said. “It wasn’t me. It was Angel.”
Cam sighed and sunk to her belly.
“I don’t need it from you, too,” I said, walking into the kitchen. “I know damn well that I have no one to blame but myself.”
I knew it was silly, but I wasn’t going to tell Cam yet that she’d be staying with Beau. I texted Mason to let him know I was heading to the airfield. I had some clean-up to do before I packed up and left town.
Instead of taking the sled back to the airport, I dug out the Jeep and loaded up the snowmobile. I left Cam at the house and drove into town listening to Houses of the Holy by Zeppelin. The Rain Song began to play as I reached Smoke River.
Oh
Talk, talk, talk, talk
Hey, I felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go
As if the weather knew the lyrics, the snowflakes turned soggy and wet as they hit my windshield.
“Rain,” I muttered, feeling the slush of the snow beneath the tires. “Damn weather.”
The only thing worse than never-ending snow was the temperature rising too fast. There was so much snow covering this town that if it melted too fast the river would rise. I’d take care of that after I checked in with Miles.
The parking lot of the Buzz On In was full of melting, gray snow, bleak and wet. A plow pushed slushy snow aside and sprinkling salt on the runway. Pilots were driving planes under cover to do checks. I looked at the sky. It was heavy and gray, but the weather wouldn’t stop anybody from taking off today. Now that the snow was on its way out, I hope it faded fast before another freeze came on and turned this whole town into a goddamn ice rink.
The bells to the cafe door rang as I stepped inside.
“Hey, Axl,” Alfie said, leaning over the counter. The booths were no longer packed with people. Most everyone had power now, and I figured life was getting back to normal.Things were changing fast. “Hey, your dad around?”
“Yeah, he’s in the office and in the control tower,” Alfie said. “We have one flight ready to go. Just making sure the runway is clear.”
“All right. I’ll head on out there.”
I turned to go just as Angel stepped in front of me, holding a carafe of coffee in her hand. “Hey, darling,” she said. “You got a minute?