Chapter 39
Bella
When I wake up, Kaiser is holding my hand. I try to tell him I’m toxic, but he refuses to let go.
It’s possible he’s toxic, too. The only person who can touch me without dying. The injection worked.
Atticus comes and runs all sorts of tests. He seems puzzled by the results, but one thing’s for certain: Kaiser’s still alive, and he’s slowly improving.
I tend to him as if he were a sickly sapling.
A half-dead bloom I rescued from the discount pile at the nursery.
I nurture him and bring him back to life.
His eyes still need extra care. Atticus thinks he will regain most of his sight, but he’ll need to wear protective glasses for the rest of his life.
After a week in Atticus’s care, we move to Kaiser’s penthouse in New Rome.
His brother and Elodie live in the same building.
Jaeger tries to bully Kaiser into moving in with him, but Kaiser refuses.
He hates being sick. Feeling weak, especially when he’s around anyone else.
Except me. He seems to relax when it’s just us.
I still hate myself for doing this to him. Every time I see his shaved head, his dark glasses, his healing skin, I remember what I’ve done. It makes me feel wretched. I almost wish I believed in a merciful god, so I could go to a temple or Father Francis and atone.
We end up hanging out with Jaeger and Elodie enough that we might as well be living together. We watch endless sappy holiday movies until I put my foot down and introduce them to season one of Vampire Varsity. By episode five, they’re hooked, as I knew they would be.
St. James and the rest of Fraternitas give us space. But I know there’s contract stuff I’m supposed to know about.
I’m the Poisoner now, and the Vesuvios still want war.
I couldn’t care less.
Eventually, life inserts itself into our happy interlude.
One afternoon, Jaeger and Kaiser disappear for a few hours. Elodie doesn’t know where they are, and Kaiser’s on crutches, so I doubt they’re on a job. When they return, they both look grim.
“What’s happening?” Elodie asks. She’s a beautiful woman with thick, curly red hair and an explosion of freckles on her face. Right now she’s twisting the ring on her finger.
“St. James and Damien finally had a call with Dominus,” Kaiser says, maneuvering himself to my side on the crutches. “He’s agreed to a temporary truce while we negotiate peace. In one more week, we end this once and for all.”
“How?” Elodie asks.
“There will be a fight,” Jaeger says. “Two men will face off in the ring. Anything goes.” He looks at me. “There will be a champion representing your family and one representing the Vesuvios.”
“Who will be my champion?” I ask.
Kaiser folds himself onto the couch. “Me.”
I look from him to Jaeger and back again. “But you can’t fight, you’re hurt.”
“That’s what I said,” Jaeger mutters. He heads to where Elodie is sitting, picks her up, and settles them both in the armchair with her in his lap. She lets him, looking worried.
Kaiser has the remote. He’s cuing something up on the TV.
I put a hand on his arm. “You can’t,” I say. “You just got out of a wheelchair.”
Kaiser shrugs.
I turn to Jaeger. “You need to stop this.”
“I can’t,” Jaeger growls. He looks like he wants to commit murder. “It was his idea.”
“What?” My mouth falls open.
“This will end things once and for all,” Kaiser says and rolls his shoulders.
“It’s the only way.” He clicks the remote, and the screen fills with a grainy, homemade-looking movie.
Two shirtless men face each other in a boxing ring.
One is bald and towers over the other. The bald man lumbers forward, fists swinging.
Most of his shots go wild, his opponent ducking out of the way, but one hit lands, and the smaller man goes flying.
“Power, not precision,” Kaiser comments. He seems to be studying the screen.
“You like to take the first punch,” Jaeger muses, looking at the screen. “With him, that might not be such a good idea.”
Kaiser grunts.
“Excuse me, what is this?”
“An underground fight,” Elodie says, her voice tense. “They study them so they know how to beat their opponents.”
I get up and point to the bald man on the screen. “Is this him? Your opponent?”
“Yes,” Jaeger and Kaiser say in unison. “People call him the Giant.”
“He looks like he’s seven feet tall,” I say, almost not believing it.
“But slow. I can beat him,” Kaiser says.
Jaeger rubs his mouth, looking almost sad. Since he usually smiles too much, this is alarming. “They say he was bred from Dominus’s seed. But they… did things to make him grow to that size.”
“A bastard son,” Kaiser says. “If Dominus was truly the sperm donor.”
“Yes.”
“We’ll take another son from him, then.”
I can’t believe they’re talking about this like it’s normal. Kaiser has just started using crutches and now he’s supposed to fight?
I stand in front of Kaiser, blocking the screen.
“You can’t do this,” I say to him. His face is still red from the blisters, for fuck’s sake. “This is madness.”
Jaeger stands up, lifting Elodie in his arms as he does. He carries her out of the room and shuts their bedroom door behind them, giving us privacy. I tense up even further.
I doubt I’m going to like what Kaiser has to say.
Kaiser reaches for me, and I let him take my hands and pull me closer so I’m standing between his knees. He’s so much bigger than me, but he’s still fragile. His shaved head reminds me of what he just went through.
He raises my hands, kisses them. I try to pull away. His lips are so soft.
“Shhh, Bella. Let me have this. Let me hold you.”
Oh no, I’m going to cry. I let him rub his face along my fingers. His eyes are closed, as if he’s memorizing how they feel.
“You can’t fight, Kaiser.”
“This is my role, my beautiful poison. I’m a fighter. I will fight for you.”
“Fuck that,” I say.
He releases me long enough to reach into his pocket and pull out a black ribbon. Then he pulls me in with a sudden move that takes my breath away. I end up with my back to his chest, secured in his arms.
“Stop,” I squeak, squirming, but he’s holding me fast. “I’ll hurt you,” I try to argue.
He clamps a hand around my neck. “Be still,” he orders.
Immediately, I’m soaking wet. I close my eyes, panting with bliss.
It’s been so long since he’s touched me like this.
We sleep in an oversized bed together every night, but I’m careful to give his healing body its space.
And he hasn’t pushed me, even though I know he wants to.
The only thing he insists on is holding hands.
That feels good, but this… this is everything.
I forgot how easily I respond to him. Fuck, I’m almost crying with how good it feels.
“Belladonna. Beautiful, wild. My perfect poison.” He nuzzles the back of my neck, and I relax.
Then he straightens and lifts my hair, fastening something around my neck.
The black ribbon.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“This means I intend to claim you as my elita.”
My heart soars to the stars. He’s claiming me. It’s happening.
“No matter what happens to me, Fraternitas will recognize you as mine.”
My heart freezes. “Wait, what? No matter what happens to you? What does that mean?”
“If I die, you will still have the protection of my brothers.”
“Oh no.” I start shaking. “No, no.” I scratch at my neck, wanting to rip off the ribbon. He stops me, but I’m still shaking, emotion bursting out of me. I want to cry, laugh, scream. I’m hyperventilating.
They will protect you. This is exactly what my father said before he left me.
I wrench myself around to face Kaiser. I’m panting, leaning on him. I cling to him like he’s the only thing keeping me from drowning.
“No, you promised. You promised me.” I make the mistake of gazing into his ocean eyes. Suddenly, I’m drowning.
“Bella, shh.” He cups the side of my face, so tender. He’s so gentle with me. He doesn’t let anyone see this side of him, only me. “This is how I know you will be safe. Dominus won’t come after you. However the fight ends. Especially if he feels like he’s won.”
“But… the fight is to the death. You can’t lose. You’ll die. You have to win.”
“No, I don’t. I can do this for you. You won’t have to marry me. You’ll have upheld your end of the contract.” He searches my eyes, making sure I understand what he’s telling me.
And I do. It settles on me like a giant weight. The magnitude of what he’s offering takes my breath away.
He’s giving me a way out. He’s fighting for me and making sure I’m safe. From everyone, even him.
“You won’t have to marry me,” he says. “You’ll have everything you wanted. You will be free.”
He’s right. This is everything I once wanted. A way out. Kaiser knows his brothers will respect his claim. None of them will touch me, but they’ll protect me as someone precious to him. They would consider me his widow. They wouldn’t make me marry anyone else.
I won’t have to marry anyone. Everything I’ve fought for will be mine.
Because of him. His sacrifice.
But now, I don’t want freedom, not without Kaiser.
“You said you wouldn’t leave me,” I say. “You promised. You promised me years together! All the things we’re going to do together. You promised me, and I want them. I want those years, Kaiser. I want a lifetime.”
“You will have them,” he says.
I thump his chest. “I want them with you, damn you.”
“Bella, look at me.”
“I can’t,” I say, sniffling. “You’re too pretty. You’ll convince me to do anything with that big, dumb, beautiful face.”
“Hey. Come here, beautiful.” He tries to lift my face, but I set my jaw and close my eyes.
“You’re a butthead. I hate you. I hate you, and I want to marry you. I am going to marry you, dammit.”
“No,” he says. “This is your way out. I want you to be happy. And if I’m alive, you can’t be happy. So I’ll go.”
I lean into him and cry.
He holds me.
Then someone is standing over me. Jaeger.
“Keep her safe,” Kaiser says to his brother.
“What?” I wipe my eyes.
“No!” I scream. He wants a fight, I’ll give him one.
But they’re both too strong. Jaeger clamps his arms around me. I fight, screaming Kaiser’s name, but Jaeger carries me into the bedroom.
Elodie hovers by the bed, her hand over her mouth.
As soon as Jaeger puts me down, I race for the door. He beats me to it, holding it closed as I claw and pound on it. Then I turn on him. “You fucker,” I hiss. “I’ll poison you, don’t think I won’t.”
“Kaiser won’t like it.”
“Kaiser is an idiot!”
“I agree.” Jaeger’s solemn expression stops me. “This is madness. He should not fight. It’s not good for him, even if he does survive.” Jaeger shakes his head. “I offered to take his place in the ring, and he threatened to chop off both my legs. To save me, he said.”
That’s so beautiful, I could cry. “That’s so like him.”
“He would do it, too. He loves to sacrifice himself for the people he loves. I could kill him, but he’s my brother. What can I do?” He shrugs. Then, to my surprise, he opens the door.
I rush into the living room. The TV is still playing raw footage of old fights, and the crutches are leaning against the couch.
Kaiser is gone.
“He’ll go into hiding and start training. You’ll see him before the fight.”
“We have to stop this.”
“I don’t know how.” Jaeger’s head hangs down. Elodie comes to his side, and he clamps an arm around her, bowing his head and breathing in the scent of her hair.
“I’m sorry, Bella,” Elodie says. Tears are rolling down her cheeks, too.
“This isn’t happening,” I say. Despair is leaking out with every tear, but my mind is flitting around from possibility to possibility. There are so many ways out of this. So many poisons.
Kaiser isn’t going to die.
He’s mine.
“We have to find another way,” I say to Jaeger and Elodie. “You have to help me.”
Jaeger shakes his head, looking hopeless. Elodie puts a hand on his chest, and he covers it with his own.
“What can we do?” she asks in a steady voice.
A plan pops into my head. I have to think through all the consequences, but if I’m right, they’ll only fall on me. “I know what to do.”