Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Jessie
The smell of coffee and something amazing wakes me from my sleep. I roll over onto my back and stretch my arms over my head. I open my eyes, and for a second, I forget where I am. Then I look around and see the bassinet in the corner and yesterday comes crashing back to me.
A smile takes over my face. Last night was incredible. We didn’t even have sex, but it was the best orgasm of my life. He was so attentive to me, listening to my body and what it liked. I felt him adjust if I moaned or gasped.
The way he looked at me, like I was a piece of treasure.
But even as the memory warms me, a knot twists in my chest. He’s made it clear that he can’t be with me. There have been no promises. There is no future. Just stolen hours that are starting to leave me aching for what I know he’ll never allow himself to give.
I should walk away. Protect myself before the inevitable happens. Before he shuts down and pushes me out of his life for good. But I can’t. Not when he touches me like I’m the only thing that matters. Not when he looks at me as if I’m his salvation, even while swearing he can’t be mine.
So, I let myself sink in the memory, even knowing it’s dangerous. Even knowing my heart is already halfway broken just by loving him this much.
I throw the covers off me, shocked that I slept so well last night.
After I got Eli back to sleep and crawled into bed, Walker was out. I knew he must’ve been exhausted. This has been a lot for him, but the way he has taken on the role as her father has been amazing to watch. It’s hard not to fall for the guy when you see him with Eli.
She only got up one more time in the middle of the night. As Walker was feeding her a bottle, I heard him calmly whispering to her as I went in and out of sleep. I’m hoping that means he got some decent sleep too.
A glance at the clock tells me it’s already nine in the morning. Shit. He’s probably been up for hours.
I open the door and walk to the kitchen, where he is standing in front of the stove in nothing but his low-slung sweatpants. Why the heck is that so sexy? I press my thighs together as I watch his back muscles strain with each move he makes.
As I walk further in his direction, he cranes his neck and glances over his shoulder.
A smile takes over his face. Swoon. I’m toast.
“Morning, beautiful. Are you hungry?” he asks, then turns around.
Eli is slung to his chest in some kind of tan material that I missed when I was too busy checking him out. It’s not at all what I would have expected to see after spending the night with Walker for the first time.
Well, the first time after we fooled around.
I cover my mouth as a laugh breaks free. Then I meet him in the kitchen, where I see Eli is looking around wide-eyed, like this angle is something she has never seen before.
I bite my lip to keep from laughing more, but Walker’s grin is so damn smug that it sets me off. He catches me, shaking his head like I’m trouble, and I swear the air between us crackles all over again.
He leans close, voice low and teasing. “Careful, Jessie. You keep looking at me like that, and I’ll forget breakfast exists and take you into my room to give you a proper punishment.”
My laugh tumbles out again before I can stop it, warm and reckless, because, God, it feels too good to be wanted like this by him. He raises his eyebrows with a warning that he might just be serious.
Is it wrong that I want him to punish me? I’ve never been punished before. Would he … hurt me?
Moisture pools in my underwear. I close my eyes to try and get rid of the images dancing around in my head.
He shakes his head and turns around, mumbling to himself about not having enough willpower. Then he pours me a cup of coffee and hands it to me.
“I assume you still take it black,” he says as he extends his arm.
I take the cup from him cautiously, wondering how he knows a detail like that. I don’t get the words out before he answers it for me.
“I know everything about you, Jessie. All these years you think I’ve been indifferent, I’ve been memorizing you in silence.”
He can’t say things like that. It’s too confusing. I don’t know how to separate my feelings when he’s confessing such intimate details of his own.
“Thank you,” I reply, voice cracking.
“I’ve got pancakes, eggs, toast, fruit, and bacon.” He nods over his shoulder.
“That’s all?” I ask sarcastically.
He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I wanted to make sure I fed you properly. Plus, I’ve got a ton of energy. This little one slept great. That’s the most sleep I’ve had since she came around.”
“What can I help with?” I ask as I take a sip of coffee.
I normally like to sit and enjoy a cup while doing nothing to give my brain time to wake up, but I suppose that goes out the window with a baby.
“Nothing. Take a seat at the island. Food will be done in a minute.”
He goes back to cooking, and I prop myself up on a barstool and enjoy my view of his back again.
Once we are finished with breakfast, Eli is ready for another bottle. I place my plate in the dishwasher.
“Let me feed her. You just relax,” I tell him as I place the bottle in the warmer and take her from his arms.
She did a great job, sitting on his lap, propped up by his stomach, while we ate. I may know a bit about babies, but this is still a new experience for me too. I didn’t realize just how hard it was to do something so simple like eat or shower with a newborn.
“You don’t have to do that,” he replies.
I sigh, remembering him saying that last night. “From now on, if I offer, it’s because I want to.”
A smirk pulls the corner of his lips up. “Noted. So sorry to offend you, ma’am.”
“No need to be sarcastic,” I bite back as I begin to pat Eli’s back to soothe her while the bottle warms.
“Old habits die hard, babe.” He chuckles.
He’s breathtakingly handsome, sitting there with disheveled hair, no shirt, and a goofy grin on his face. It pisses me off that he has to be so damn attractive. Especially his stupid dimples that show themselves when he smiles. Ugh, we live in a cruel, cruel world.
I roll my eyes, which only makes him laugh harder behind me. I hate that he finds it so entertaining to annoy me, but at the same time, I love that nothing has changed between us.
The timer goes off. I grab the bottle and settle in on his couch.
I realize I’m still in his T-shirt as I sit here with one leg folded under me.
This is not the typical morning after with a guy.
This is what married couples with kids do on the weekends.
It’s extremely confusing and bound to blow up in my face.