12. Distractions
Distractions
Dakota
H aving my newly single mate near me was absolute torture. Did he have to look so delectable in those pants that showcased his round ass? The shirt and sweater vest combo was really doing a number on my dick, so I’d stayed safely behind my desk until I’d overheard the conversation about Heatwave.
I prayed to The Luna that Jasper wouldn’t go to the heat club because I’d have to go there and humiliate myself in front of people to keep him away from another alpha. I wasn’t so worried about betas since they couldn’t give him what he needed long term.
That thought made me think about Hiroshi and his men.
Did he really think that his mate bond would allow him to be with not just one other person, but two?
That he’d get his fated mate and Tate and Asher?
Fated mate bonds were so close that a partner couldn’t be with anyone else.
They couldn’t cheat. Unless, with already being in a relationship with Tate and Asher, The Luna included them in his bond with his alpha?
It had never been done before, so I wasn’t sure it would work.
I wanted to save my friends from pain, but didn’t think it was my place to say anything. My head hurt just thinking about it.
I’d have to tell Hiroshi I couldn’t go through his heats with him anymore. While I was technically a single agent and could do whatever I damn well pleased, it didn’t feel right, and there was every chance that by the time that Hiroshi’s heat was due that Jasper and I would have sorted things out.
Inside, there was a deep longing for my mate that I had to constantly push down.
Just the reminder of the three rejections were enough to firm my resolve not to ask again.
A part of me knew Jasper had been fishing for me to suggest I serve his heat, but I had the niggling feeling that it was only because I was convenient, not because he wanted me.
If he hadn’t had a heat approaching, he would have avoided me until he sorted his mixed up head.
When Kade had suggested it, I felt bad for biting his head off.
I was relieved that Jasper was seeing some of the damage that he’d caused and knew we were in for a long road, if we even ended up bonding at all.
At this stage, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted.
It wasn’t thinking what it would be like to sink into Jasper, to keep him tied to me on my knot.
Arousal burned hot in my core and I took deep breaths, checking over endless spreadsheets of numbers to calm down.
Minutes after Jasper scurried away, Kade came out of his office and perched on the corner of my desk. “Sorry, Kota.” I much preferred when he called me Dad. It left a warm feeling in my chest that stayed with me all day.
“It’s okay, kiddo. You meant well. Your Papa… it’s complicated between us right now. I get the feeling he wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t for his heat. He needs me right now, but I want him to want me back. D’you know what I mean?”
Kade nodded sadly. “Yeah. I think you’re right, too. I just hope he comes around soon.” He hugged me and returned to work.
The numbers swam in front of my eyes as I stared at the screen without really seeing it.
I’d put in a lot of hours over the last couple of weeks, so didn’t technically have to be at my desk, but my house echoed in its emptiness, making me wish for my family more.
My bear had claimed both of Jasper’s kids as ours.
There was no step anything in his mind. To him, it was as simple as they belonged to Jasper.
Everything that was Jasper’s was mine, too.
Same as my home and family were Jasper and Kade’s.
Papa had broken down when I told him that Kade had taken to calling me dad.
He and my father had emulated my bear and adopted Kade and Angelica as their grandchildren, getting even more excited that Kade would give me grandchildren soon, their great grandchildren.
It was ridiculous, but my heart felt three sizes bigger with the love that I held for my kids and parents.
I wanted to love my mate. The feelings that I had for him couldn’t be called that.
Not yet. Attraction was simple. The bond was there, a tiny, stretched thin thread that tied me to Jasper.
It wasn’t enough for love to grow on. We’d hardly spoken since the last rejection and I knew so little about him.
Sure, I’d gleaned a few things from what Kade had said, but he was still getting used to this more driven version of his Papa.
Jasper was a stranger to us both in some respects.
“Dakota.” Blake’s voice beside me had taken on an impatient tone.
“Sorry?”
“I called you three times. Go home early, okay? You’ve done plenty this week.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. Having you on board is really helping me cut my desk hours, which will be great for when the babies come. Listen,” he paused as if weighing something up.
“Would you like to come spar with me and some enforcers tomorrow morning? Bring a change of clothes. We’ll have a workout, breakfast and then start work a bit later.
What do you think? You look like you need to blow off some steam. ”
I didn’t even need to think. “That sounds great, thank you alpha.”
He cupped the back of my neck, giving it a squeeze.
My bear submitted to his wolf instantly.
Blake’s gentle dominance was similar to that of our sleuth alpha, Jason, making it easy to fall in line with him.
“You need to drop that alpha thing when it’s just us around.
You’re Kade’s dad now, and that makes you family.
I’ll accept it around others, but not family, okay? ”
“Sure, I’m not sure if I want you calling me dad, though.” I flashed him a grin, so he knew I was teasing.
“I’ll leave that until you and Jasper bond.” Blake said with a grin of his own. I felt mine drop at the mention of my mate. “Sorry Kota. Have faith. The Luna gave us these mates because they knew we could handle them. Jasper will come around and realize what a catch you are.”
Faith. That was pretty thin on the ground. Blake made sense, though. He’d struggled with a mate that hadn’t wanted to bond initially and look where they were. Three babies on the way in a pregnancy they hadn’t thought would happen.
I still couldn’t get my head around the idea of a male omega multiple birth. It happened in female omegas. Twins born to females happened as often as it did in human pregnancies. Male omegas, though, never had multiples. Or so I thought.
My dad was now the healer for the pack and had studied shifter reproduction extensively, and found that it used to occur so long ago that it was almost out of living memory for all except the most elderly of shifters.
He’d been breaking out ancient records since the scan had shown that Kade was having triplets.
My alpha father wanted to be as prepared as possible, while my omega father was trusting our goddess, seeing this as a portent.
He saw Kade as important to the goddess and shouldn’t be shaken on that.
I didn’t know what to believe. I just knew that I’d do everything that I could to ensure that this pregnancy was safe and healthy for all involved.
If that meant hanging around while my mate kicked my heart around, just to not upset our son, then that’s what I was going to do.
Being finished for the day had left me at a loose end. I found myself in the gym working off the frustrations of the day on the treadmill and weight benches.
“Go easy,” Chase cautioned. “Blake is a slippery fucker to spar with. You’ll want to bring your A game tomorrow.”
I paused after finishing the set to wipe sweat from my face. “He told you?”
“Was my idea. All this mate business must be messing with your head and you need to know the pack has your back.”
“Jasper is pack, too.” I reminded him. “And Kade’s papa.”
“Maybe so. I just get the feeling that Kade is more on your side than his.”
Guilt prickled inside. I didn’t want any division inside the pack because of my situation with Jasper. If I felt that Kade’s relationship with Jasper was suffering, I’d step back. “I don’t want any of that.”
“I’m sure it won’t come to that. Jasper will be like Kade and come round soon. Then we can all focus on getting Roan and Axel mated off.”
“Not you?”
Chase paused and considered something for a minute.
I waited him out. “Honestly? I’ve never told anyone this.
Nobody’s really thought to ask. It was just assumed that we’d all pair off, but I don’t want that.
” He took a deep breath. “The thing is, sex is okay, but I never really saw the big deal. Sometimes I’m into it, other times I’m not.
” He shrugged. “The whole mating thing… I love my family and my friends. With them, nothing is missing from my life. Romantic love, though? Never felt it and I’m not sure I can feel it.
It doesn’t feel like it’s for me, d’you know what I mean?
” I understood what he was saying, remembering conversations with humans I’d worked with over the years.
“So you’re ace, then? Maybe aromantic?” I asked.
“Is that the right term? Is that a human thing?” He thought for a second and shrugged.
“Not sure I want to put a name to it. It’s just how I feel.
I’ve been one half of a pair my whole life.
I kind of want to be on my own for a while.
Get Axel happily mated and then see where things take me.
Maybe that’ll change as I get older.” He thumped a fist to his chest and gave a trembling laugh.
“It feels weird to have said it out loud. Thanks, Dakota, for listening.”
We hugged it out. “Thanks for telling me. I swear, I won’t say a word to anyone. It’s your truth to tell.”