15. Apologies #2
After a while of just enjoying Dakota surrounding me, I pressed kisses up and down his neck, muttering apologies and praise.
“I’m so sorry.” Another kiss. “You are the best mate I could ask for. It scares me.” More kisses, my lips searching for the place where my mark should have been, finding it absent.
Pain hit like a knife to the chest. The mark being gone meant that he hadn’t wanted the bond to linger, likely because I’d left him just hours later.
Perhaps, subconsciously, he’d sensed something was off.
“I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have run. I panicked.”
My kisses turned into nips and licks along his neck as heat flared in my stomach. I could smell our joint arousal in the air. Dakota’s hands tightened on me as he shifted us to standing. “We’ll talk about this later.”
“What?”
He carried me to my bedroom, tenderly laying me on the bed and covering me with his body. His lips met mine in a tooth achingly sweet kiss. My lips parted, inviting him inside. His tongue met mine, a moan escaping one of us as they touched.
I traced the muscles of his back, all the way down to his ass and up again to cup the back of his head, not to take the kiss deeper, just to enjoy the feel of him.
We made out for a long time, letting the passion between us build slowly until we couldn’t help but rub against each other, looking for friction.
My fingers found the edge of his t-shirt and I eased it up to his shoulders, enjoying the feel of warm, smooth skin under my palms. I ran blunt nails down his spine and arched into him as he nipped at my bottom lip, his kiss deepening as he thickened further against my thigh.
We took our time, truly exploring the other’s body, slowly pulling away layers of clothing.
I laved at his nipples, enjoying the feel of his furry chest under my fingertips and tongue.
I eased down, ready to take his weeping cock into my mouth, but he tugged me up, our lips meeting again.
Never would I tire of kissing him. He moved me onto my back again and pressed kisses along my jaw, tugged on my earlobe, before nipping down my neck to where his bite would go.
Tensing fractionally made him move from the spot.
I sighed in frustration at my stupidity and cowardice.
Pulling his lips to mine again, I tried to push all that I was feeling into the kiss.
I cared deeply about my mate. The Luna was never wrong, I’d just needed time to adjust. Having him in my arms was heavenly, and I never wanted to let him go.
If he wanted to bite me, I’d accept it. I’d keep it and wear it with pride.
Longing filled me to have him wear my mark. To wear his.
Our bond was too fragile with all our miscommunication to gain a sense of what either of us was feeling. The pull was intense. I wanted desperately to finish bonding, but there was a corner of my mind afraid of falling into a trap.
Dakota pulled me back into the moment by taking my lips in a bruising kiss, fingers tugging at the waves of my hair. Our movements became urgent. Desire took over and turned a sweet exploration into something more.
Before I even noticed, Dakota was easing a finger around my entrance. “You aren’t too sore, are you?”
I shook my head, pushing back on the finger. Even if I had been sore, I needed him inside me. His gaze traced my face, and seeing resolve and want, he eased the finger inside me.
His fingers were long and thick, stretching me open easily. As aroused as I was, there was still a slight burn when he added a second finger. Needing that bite of pain to keep me in the moment, I wriggled on his fingers and begged for another, impatience saturating my tone.
Dakota gave me all that I needed and more.
He stroked my cock as he stretched me to take him.
I ran my hands over his muscles and down, taking a hold of him, his shaft perfect in my grasp.
Long, thick and oh so very hard. My eyes roved his body, taking in every movement he made before our eyes met.
His eyes held mine, his dark gaze unwavering as we pleasured each other. “More, please, Kota,” I begged.
I grasped at his arms, trying to pull him up, using my body to tell him I was ready, I was done waiting. He came to rest over me as I splayed my legs open to accommodate his hips.
Moon help me, he was beautiful. His tan skin flushed with arousal, dark eyes glittering with a dozen emotions.
Dakota entered me slowly as his lips met mine in a deep kiss.
This was a tenderness that I’d never truly been shown before.
My thoughts drifted to sex with Silas, which had been fine, but Dakota set every nerve on fire.
Every inch of me wanted to be touching him.
I wanted Dakota to sink into me and never leave.
The first pump of his hips had those thoughts scattering.
My sole focus on my mate above me, inside me.
Our tongues entwined as we made love. It was the only description for this foreign feeling.
My world narrowed to the feel of his cock inside me, each thrust working over my prostate and sending sparks of pleasure through me.
I panted against his lips, unable to take a full breath, overwhelmed at every sensation but still needing more.
I ran blunt nails over his shoulders and up into his hair, forcing his lips to mine again.
I swallowed his groan and shifted my hips to meet his.
My legs wrapped around him, pulling him deeper into me.
I broke from his mouth to gasp his name.
He nibbled on my ear and down my neck as I grasped his back, trying to push him deeper.
“More… please… more… yes!” Each word was almost a sob, my body a mess of feeling and longing.
My release rushed to meet me, and I attempted to hold off the inevitable.
This was too good. I wanted it to last forever.
Dakota, sensing my peak, began to thrust faster, harder, and I fell off the edge, his arms circling me, ready to catch me.
With a roar, he came, his knot formed, keeping him in place.
He slumped over me, his forearms keeping the majority of his bulk off me.
In a surprisingly quick move for such a large man, he twisted and had me on top of him with barely a tug of his knot inside me. We both breathed heavily and came back to earth, as I draped him over him, fingers moving through his chest hair.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I was just scared.” My confession slipped out.
“Scared of?”
“Everything. How much I want you. How you make me feel. It’s so out of my control, and it terrifies me.
” I worked to let him hear the honesty in my voice.
I so desperately wanted him to understand that it wasn’t a rejection, but maybe I needed to say the words.
Taking a steadying breath, I raised my head to meet his eyes.
“I wasn’t rejecting you, Dakota. I want you as a mate.
The heat was so intense. I just panicked when it was done and I’m sorry that I hurt you. ”
Dakota stroked a hand through my hair, making me wish I hadn’t had the longer curls trimmed into an easy, wavy style. “We just need to learn to talk. All the other stuff is fine. Clearly we are compatible.” He huffed out a laugh, and I chuckled.
I raised my head and looked at him. His almost black eyes met mine unflinchingly. “I really do want to be mated to you, but I come with a lot of baggage.”
“If you’d have given me the chance,” he cupped my cheek so my eyes couldn’t drift from his, “then I would have told you I’d wait. The goddess made you for me.” He let my face go, pushing fingers through my hair again. “When we met, I was confused. I didn’t think you could be my mate.”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“It feels wrong to talk about him when I’m still locked inside you.” Dakota’s expression shifted, sadness washing away his earlier tenderness.
We lapsed into silence, holding each other and casually stroking skin, until his knot went down and he slipped free. He twisted us again, so we were on our sides facing each other.
“I first saw your picture maybe two months ago and something about it just triggered a feeling inside me,” he explained softly.
“I tried to ignore the feeling. When I was younger, just of age, I lost someone very dear to me. We’d been in love.
Both of us thought for sure that the mating bond would show up when Cooper turned twenty-one, too, but he died before he made it. ”
My heart seized in my chest. Pain etched his features.
Inside were still some lingering feelings for this lost love and jealousy rose, only to be squashed by reason.
I literally had two children with another man, and Dakota accepted them without question.
Kade was already calling him dad and Angelica would lose her shit when she found out that her favorite bear was hers to always love as her father.
I stroked his cheek, enjoying the feeling of the dark stubble against my fingertips.
“You thought I couldn’t be your mate because Cooper was?”
“Yes, and you rejecting me the first two times made me wake up and take stock of what that time was. Cooper had always been sickly. His heats were extreme. With that, he lived every moment as if it could be his last and loved twice as hard. What we had was special and I’ll always be thankful for the goddess sending him into my life.
He taught me how to love, how to use my strength to protect and care for others.
He got me ready for you and our family.”
Fresh tears stung my eyes. “I shouldn’t have rejected you without a proper explanation until the third time.
” Slowly, I traced his nose and up along his eyebrows.
“I only did it out of fear, since I knew I didn’t love Silas.
He was safe and easy and I guess I clung to that.
” Dakota’s hand came up to still mine against his face, the gentle squeeze letting me know it was okay.
“How much I wanted you terrified me. You seemed too good to be true after everything that’s happened to me. ”
“How about we do what Kade and Blake did?” Dakota suggested, his expression carefully blank.
“What do you mean?”
“Take it slowly. Date. Spend time together.” Hope now lingered on his face.
“I want that. I want you.”