16. Distance
Distance
Dakota
J asper, my frustrating, infuriating, intoxicating mate, was making everything harder than it needed to be. Every part of my brain was trying to keep him at a distance, my previous hurt still echoing through me. How he’d treated me, making me cautious at jumping headfirst into our mating.
I couldn’t get it out of my head that I’d received his bite, but it had healed as I slept because deep down, I knew it had been a mistake. A reaction to an intense heat that he’d tried to get through alone instead of admitting that he might need me.
Hurt was a constant companion when he wasn’t with me, distracting me with smiles and loving touches.
My bear was a total goner for our mate. Unwilling to listen to my reasoning where Jasper was concerned, he focused his attention on how our mate made me feel at the worst times.
Like making me get hard at my desk at the memory of Jasper promising to blow me again from under the desk as he had the day before, when he’d popped in to see Kade.
No one in the office had missed the kiss that he’d given me, or the smell of arousal that had floated on the air after, as I sat pretending to work on spreadsheets until my erection had gone down.
Kade was living his best life with us officially together, and trying to work through our problems by taking it slow and getting to know each other. We hadn’t told Angelica, but had gone on a couple of day trips to a water park and the zoo as a family.
I’d burned those days in my memory as some of the best that I’d ever had. Remembering how I’d arrived at their house the morning of the water park and Jasper had driven us to Northarbor, where the sprawling complex was located.
I had ousted Jasper as Angel’s favorite as soon as she’d known I was going with them.
Angelica had demanded that I help her get her arm bands on and help her with every tiny thing.
I’d vowed to teach her how to swim, or get her into lessons as soon as possible.
Our little girl had been brave going down chutes and slides into little splash pools, her giggles and cheers filling the air.
It was everything that I’d never known that I wanted.
It had been hard work to keep my eyes off Jasper’s firm, high behind in those tight swim trunks.
He was perfection with the lights hitting his burning auburn hair and creamy skin.
I’d caught more than one person looking at my man.
It had only soothed my bear when he placed his hand in mine.
“People keep looking at you,” he’d growled into my ear before pressing a quick kiss to my lips and moving away again before Angel noticed.
When Angelica had passed out for the night, Jasper had taken me to bed.
“I need you now,” he’d told me as he’d pulled me along behind him.
On the nights we weren’t together, I stroked myself to the vision of him riding me, amber eyes burning with passion, sweat covering his smooth skin. The scent of caramel teasing my nose.
My mate was relentless and wore me out, but I didn’t sleep there, not wanting Angelica to get the wrong idea about us until we were sure that we could make it work. A fated bond was no guarantee after our rocky start.
While she slept over with a friend, I’d taken Jasper to Northarbor for a nice dinner and a show at the theater.
I guessed, correctly, that he hadn’t had many dates in his life.
His experience with his former mate had been more traditional.
He’d been given to Rincoln as a match and forced to mate before it was really legal to do so.
Only his pregnancy had prevented them from getting into trouble with the shifter council.
Jasper had admitted that he’d seen early on that Rincoln had cruelty in him. He’d hoped to love him hard enough to soften him, which hadn’t worked. They had their good years, but long term, they were too different and expected other things from the mating. Not being fated had pulled them apart.
My mate didn’t seem to realize that us being fated mates meant we would grow together. I had my parents as an example. They did everything together and rarely said a cross word. Their bond kept communication flowing, and they always seemed to know what the other needed.
Our date had been perfect. I’d loved giving Jasper something that he had never experienced.
It felt that maybe we were turning a corner.
Jasper had packed a bag to stay over at my house.
There had been blow jobs in the car, sex inside the doorway, in the shower, before breakfast. We couldn’t get enough of each other.
Yet, as soon as he had eaten breakfast, Jasper had carefully showered again, stripping away any traces of my scent, not coming in for a proper kiss before he left.
I hated feeling like a dirty secret. Angelica needed to know so that we could move forward. The longer that we kept her in the dark, the more that I felt like Jasper was only half committed to me and making it work. A bond could only do so much and Jasper appeared to fight it at every turn.
Still, I gave him chances and swallowed any harsh words I wanted to say when he would put off telling our daughter.
I was sure she suspected, especially at our trip to the zoo, when she made comments about us looking like a family.
It would have been the perfect opportunity to take her aside and tell her we were a family. Only Jasper had changed the subject.
“Be patient,” Papa coached, as we reached the end of the second week after Jasper’s heat.
“I don’t know how much longer I can take this, Papa. They should be here with me. I know he doesn’t feel comfortable in Kade’s house—“ I trailed off and sighed. “We seem stuck in this holding pattern.”
“It’s only been two weeks of dating.” Papa reminded me carefully, as if I would raise my voice at him. I knew better than that. Upsetting Papa was a crime in my parent’s house.
“We’re shifters. When we meet our fated mates, that’s supposed to be it,” I pointed out stubbornly.
It had been a couple of days since I’d seen Jasper for more than a few minutes.
Video calls once the little kit was in bed weren’t cutting it.
“Jasper stayed in a relationship instead of going ahead with the bond. Others divorce their spouses to be with their fated mates. Nothing has gone like it should.”
“I know, baby bear.” He gave a laugh. “I need to stop calling you that now. You have a family, grandchildren on the way. You are hardly a cub now.” The sadness in his voice made me pause with a teasing remark on the tip of my tongue.
“What’s wrong, Papa?”
“I did not tell you this, okay? The council is keeping it to those that strictly need to know. Kade hasn’t been told.”
Ice chilled my blood. This had to be something incredibly serious for the council to restrict information. “I swear I won’t say a thing. Is Kade safe?”
“He should be. I’d never knowingly put him, or the babies, in danger.”
That wasn’t nearly as calming as it should have been. My bear agreed, sitting up and paying attention to how my papa spoke. “I won’t say anything unless I see that I need to, okay?”
“That’s all I can ask.” He paused on the line, and I could almost feel his tension through the phone. His worry must have been plain on his face because he’d refused to do a video call with me. “I’m sure that you’ve heard the rumors of a sickness affecting shifters by now.”
“I have. Kade was talking about it in the office not that long ago.”
“Well, the council has been downplaying it, but the numbers are worse than we thought.”
“How bad is it?” Dread lined my tone. Unlike Jasper, I didn’t have a gift.
I felt something coming, though. He’d explained about the flashes of visions that he occasionally received, particularly in times of stress.
The gift didn’t seem to manifest around me, making me a blind spot to him.
It made me wonder if that was one of the reasons that he was using to keep me at a distance.
“We’ve lost a couple of older betas. They were old and vulnerable. Still a terrible loss.” My heart broke for the death of the shifters. Our older shifters were wise and treasured. Papa let out a sob.
“Papa?” He took a minute to get himself together, and I wondered where my dad was. It was unlike him to be so far away from Papa, especially if he was upset.
“There was… a… an omega lost her baby. They nearly lost the mother too. She hadn’t caught it. The baby had.” I heard the hitch in his voice as he choked back more tears.
I could hardly blame him, my own voice was thick with emotion. “Is she okay?”
“She will be eventually. It happened in the second trimester and happened so fast.” My mind couldn’t take it in.
“One of her other children is a beta and had become ill. Flu-like symptoms. Not very common in shifters, so she contacted a healer and then a witch. No one seemed to know what to do. Shifter healing should have done something.” Papa sounded so hopeless.
“The little boy survived. Seems the baby would have been a beta too. Whatever this thing is, it’s killing people. ”
“Kade is safe, right?”
“No one anywhere near here has shown any symptoms. As soon as anyone does, we will insist that Kade stay away from any beta. We can’t seem to figure out how it’s transmitted.
Human scientists are helping healers research.
These things are slow going since the packs won’t share information.
The council has pushed emergency funds into it. ”
The line was silent while I processed the information. “Kade cannot know that it killed a baby. Not while being pregnant. Three babies are a lot. He needs as little stress as possible.”
“I know, Papa. He won’t hear it from me.”