Chapter 39
Dominik
When we pull up to the farmhouse, I finally feel a flicker of relief. Not much, but enough to remind me that we’re all still alive.
Alina and I made it out. Together.
The house is old and bleak but functional enough to serve as a safe house. Safety and privacy disguised as chipped vinyl siding and a creaky wooden porch—exactly the kind of place no one bothers to look twice at. It’s the best cover until the war with the Irish and Armenians is over.
After parking the SUV in the attached garage, Viktor, Renat, and Petrov help us haul a few of our bags.
I’m still not sure what to do with Petrov and his betrayal yet, but he carries what he can in his good arm, then shuts and locks the garage door behind us.
The slight smell of dust lingers in the air as we move to the kitchen, daylight streaming in through the small window over the sink.
Nobody jumps to switch on the lights. Darkness is cover, and despite how happy I am that we’re together, I can’t shake the uneasiness rattling up my spine. Gavriil sent us here because he’s preparing for the worst outcome of this war.
Just because Alina and I are two miles away from the estate doesn’t mean that we’re a hundred percent safe. It’s down to me to protect her now after Gavriil deliberately stepped back and let me take the lead again.
“Help me get this off,” I tell Alina as I nod to the zip tie pinning my wrists together.
I assume they threw them on in case I decided to go rogue and take matters into my own hands. Things have to go according to Gavriil’s plan.
I suppose he was certain that Alina wouldn’t protest. Maybe she hasn’t outright, but I can see the tension written all over her face. She’s conflicted, not smiling or celebrating our freedom.
I guess I can’t bring myself to either yet.
Alina opens up several kitchen drawers until she finds a sharp knife. She slips the tip under the zip tie and pulls upward until the plastic snaps and falls off my wrists.
Was it really just weeks ago that I put zip ties on her?
The thought sits heavy in my chest.
“What now?” she asks quietly.
We both need to keep busy.
“Let’s split up, take stock of how much food and water we have. We need to find what weapons are in the house,” I tell the guys. “And I want you to know where all the exits are,” I say to her.
Alina holds up the knife. “Does this count as a weapon?”
“You can kill someone with it, so why not,” I reply before reaching out and tucking her hair behind her ear, needing to touch her, to ground both of us.
Alina breathes in slowly, her eyes sliding shut as her fingers clench the handle.
“You’re okay now, dikaya koshka,” I say as my fingertips glide down the curve of her cheek. Part of me is nervous too. It all feels too easy.
“I’ll look for food and water,” Alina finally speaks, her eyes opening but avoiding mine. There’s something she’s keeping from me. I can guess what, but I wish she would talk to me. For now, we need to take stock and secure the safe house. We can talk later when we’re more settled.
“I’ll check the exits,” I tell her as my fingertips leave her soft skin.
“I’ll come with you,” Renat offers.
Alina nods and walks over to the small pantry across from the fridge to take note of what’s inside.
I watch her for several long seconds before turning away.
Aside from the front door, there are only two other doors that lead outside of the main structure. A back door that goes out to the small, fenced-in backyard and a side door that leads out into the garage attached to the house.
Most of the windows are big enough that they can be used as exits if necessary.
The surrounding area is quiet and mostly tree covered. We’re on a dusty, unpaved road, and the next house in the area is more than two miles away. I’m pretty sure it’s abandoned too.
There shouldn’t be any traffic out here unless someone makes a wrong turn or someone is purposely scoping out the area.
Safe houses aren’t usually stocked with much, but Gavriil made sure we had plenty of food and weapons, including four handguns.
It doesn’t feel like enough, but it’ll have to do, along with the kitchen knives that we all divvy up.
“Do you know how to shoot?” I ask Alina as I walk back into the kitchen to see that she’s pulled out the canned and boxed goods.
She looks over at me, a wary expression briefly flitting across her face. “Archer showed me once. He stole a guy’s pistol from his truck and took me out into a field to shoot some bottles.”
“Were you a decent shot?”
She smiles sheepishly. “I didn’t hit even half of the bottles.”
I start to tell her that I doubted Archer was the best instructor, but I keep that thought to myself. “I don’t have time to teach you now, but you should keep this on you, regardless. You know how to take the safety off?”
She nods. “You think I’ll need it?”
“Better safe than sorry,” I reply as I check the clip, then ensure the safety is on before tucking it into the back of her jeans. “If you’re close enough to see someone’s face, your aim will be good enough to hit them,” I tell her.
“That’s not very comforting.” She sighs.
We’re supposed to feel relaxed and happy right now, but this feels like a house of dread.
I wrap her up in my arms, pulling her against my chest so that she can bury her face in it.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to worry. You’ve been through so much already...”
She grasps at my back, gluing herself to me. “Everything is just…it’s so much right now, Dom.”
I nod in agreement as I stroke her hair, feeling the tension digging into every muscle of her body. “I know, dikaya koshka.”
I really do.
“I’m just glad you’re here with me,” she murmurs before tilting her head back to gaze up at me.
She’s glad, but she can’t completely relax because he’s not here.
Safe.
With her.
With us.
I brush her hair away from her beautiful, conflicted face. “I’m going to be with you no matter what. Always.”
Her face softens, and when my lips first touch hers, her eyes flutter shut. She melts into my hold, trusting me to hold her up. To steady her when everything feels like it’s slipping.
Viktor clears his throat as if to remind us that we’re not alone, breaking us apart.
“Why don’t you two try to get some rest? The three of us will cover the first shift out here.”
“Are you sure?” I ask him.
“Go. We’ve got this.”
With a nod, I take Alina’s hand and lead her to the main bedroom that has its own bath. After everything, it’s exactly what she needs to unwind.
“How about a soak in the tub?” I ask her as I shut and lock the door.
“That sounds…nice.”
I lead her to it, only letting her hand go to turn on the water. Once I make sure it’s warm enough but not too hot, I tell her, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
When I turn to leave, Alina grabs my arm. “Wait. Do you want to…will you join me?” she asks quietly. “You’re so tense. You deserve a little relaxation as much as I do.”
She wants me to bathe with her? God, yes.
“If you’re sure?” I reply.
In response, she takes hold of the bottom of my shirt and pulls it upward, stripping it off my body before dropping it onto the floor.
I remove the gun from her pants to place it on the sink counter and begin undressing her while capturing her lips.
I gently suck on her bottom lip, while lifting her shirt over her head. I’ve missed her so damn badly that it hurts. Getting to touch her like this alleviates so much of the weight on my shoulders.
When I start to undo her jeans my gaze lands on my necklace around her neck. Warmth ignites in my chest at the sight. But it’s not just mine she’s wearing again. She has a matching one. Gavriil’s.
“He gave you his ruby?” I ask aloud.
I reach up to touch them, and it’s like a spell suddenly breaks between us.
Alina steps back and turns her back to me to remove her pants.
I didn’t really have a positive association with my necklace until I first gave it to her as a sign of protection. Even if she also wears my brother’s, I’m happy to see them on her.
I finish undressing on my own, then round up towels, washcloths, and body wash for us. I climb in first to check the temperature. It’s a little warm, but I don’t think Alina will mind.
As soon as I’m sitting with my back against the tub, I finally lift my eyes to find her standing close enough to touch, completely naked in front of me for the first time.
“You’re so damn beautiful, dikaya koshka.” Her cheeks flush as I hold out my hand to help her step over and join me.
Watching her lower herself in front of me, her bare backside brushing the front of my body is a gift I never thought I would receive.
Alina settles herself between my outstretched legs, leaning her back and head against my chest and shoulder with a heavy sigh.
My arms wrap around her, holding on to her tight and placing a kiss on the top of her head.
Neither of us speak until the water nears the top, and I finally shut off the faucet.
That’s when I nuzzle my nose into her hair to tell her, “I’ve wanted to do this, to just hold you, for so long.”
Alina takes my hands and gives them a squeeze. “Me too.”
Now we finally have the chance to be together. Nothing is keeping us apart. Nothing is holding us back.
We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but we’re here together right now.
Tonight, I want to hold her, to make her mine in every way.
I brush my lips over her ear, then her shoulder, which is when I’m hit with an all too familiar scent.
Gavriil.
They said goodbye earlier. He probably hugged her. Possibly even kissed her on her neck, her lips…
I slip her hair to the side to kiss her over the same spot, wanting to erase him.
“I slept with Gavriil,” Alina whispers as if hearing the words spoken softly makes them less excruciating.
I can’t speak, can’t respond as my head spins.
This time, I know she means they did more than just sleep.
She let him touch her, kiss her, bury himself inside her, while I’ve never had that pleasure.
“We didn’t use protection, and I don’t regret any part of it,” she goes on to say, cutting me deeper with each word.
“I only regret that it hurt you. That’s not what I ever wanted to do, but…
I won’t apologize anymore or pretend like it was a mistake.
Gavriil never made me apologize for loving you. ..”
She won’t apologize. Not that it would help or change a goddamn thing.
Neither of us speak or move for a long time, not even when the water begins to cool.
“Dom?” Alina finally asks.
“What do you want me to say, Alina? You’re not asking for my forgiveness, so I can’t give that to you.”
“Just say something. Please.”
“Do you want to hear that I’m jealous? I am. I hate that he caused you so much pain and you still let him have you first,” I admit. “I wish you would tell me that it’s over, and that you’ll never think about him again.”
“I can’t make that promise,” she replies.
“Fuck,” I groan. I remove my arms from her waist to rest them on the lip of the tub while leaning my head back.
“I know that, Alina. You think I could forget?” I let out a disgusted laugh.
“I wish I could go longer than five minutes pretending you’re mine.
Only mine. But that’s impossible, isn’t it? ”
Alina turns around so that she’s kneeling between my legs, facing me, dripping wet and naked. She doesn’t fight fair. Especially when she grabs my chin and leans forward to press her lips to mine.
“There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you.” Alina kisses me between each and every word. Sitting back to look me in the eyes she says, “That’s what you said. And I believe you. Even now. Especially now. So, prove it to me, Dom.”