14. Chapter Fourteen
Jax
“ I ’m not punishing myself.” My voice sounds petulant and sulky, even to my own ears. Mary points her fork at me from across the breakroom table at the fire station and gives me a knowing look. It grates on my nerves, and I’m starting to regret asking her to stay for dinner. But I have a weak spot for her chicken casserole, so when she showed up with a big dish that held enough for everyone, I asked her to stay for a bit. And I foolishly admitted that while I wasn’t technically scheduled to work at the station tonight, I volunteered for an extra shift just to create some distance from Maddie. When she asked why, I wasn’t strong-willed enough to lie to her. I told her about everything that transpired between us.
“Boy, don’t give me that crap,” she sasses me. “We can’t always help who we love, and it’s not hurting anybody.” I give her the look that deserves, and she rolls her eyes. “Fine, it’ll only hurt Luke for a while, but then he’ll get over it. Hey, have I ever mentioned that my third husband was the marriage counselor my second husband hired?” My head whips back up, and my fork clatters to the table. She cackles at the shock that I can’t quite hide.
“Isn’t that like…illegal?” Seems like it definitely should be .
“A few weeks into our therapy sessions, he told Richard if he wasn’t going to treat me the way I deserved, then he should get out of the way and let someone else do the job. Then he asked me to give him a chance to prove himself, and I did.” There’s a far-away, dreamy expression on her face, her eyes softening and a smile tugging on her lips. “And I have zero regrets. Out of all my husbands, he was the only one I was ever truly in love with.”
It softens something inside me, the idea of someone being so completely, irrevocably in love. But my stomach also twists with yearning.
“It’s not really the same thing.” I take a bite of food, the tender chicken practically melting on my tongue. Then I add in a mumbled breath, “That story is wild as fuck though.”
“Hey! That’s my epic love story you’re dissing!”
I jerk back when I’m pelted with a stray pea. My lips tug into an apologetic, albeit sarcastic, smirk before flicking it off my jacket. “Sorry, ma’am.” I say it in the most contrite tone I can muster, lowering my eyes for added affect.
Mary harrumphs.
My cell phone chimes, alerting me to a text message. I ignore it because that’s one of Mary’s pet peeves: cell phones at the dinner table. It chimes again, and I avert my eyes before taking a sip of my sweet tea.
“He would never forgive me.”
“You can’t know that for sure. Have you thought about just talking to him about it?” My cell phone chimes again, and this time she sighs. “Just answer it.”
“Sorry, one second.” Giving her an apologetic smile that’s sincere this time, I pull it out of my pocket and frown at the name on the screen. Paige rarely texts me after working hours, especially not during the monthly date night with her fiancé. It sends a swirl of unease through my gut.
Mary frowns at me from across the table. “Is something wrong?”
Shaking my head, I slide my thumb across the screen. “I don’t know.”
Paige: Just thought you would like to know that your girl is here
Paige: It looks like a date
Paige: He’s kinda cute tbh
*picture attachment*
My heart slams in my chest, my entire body turning to stone as I enlarge the picture. It’s taken at an odd angle and in dim lighting. Placing my fingers on the screen, I zoom in on the grainy couple. For a moment, all I can see is her. Maddie in a tight, black dress with her hair tumbling to her shoulders. She even took the time to curl it tonight. I can’t see her date, only the back of his tux. But she’s smiling at something the fuckwad is saying, and it makes me boil with anger.
Less than forty-eight hours ago, I kissed her until she was whimpering in my arms, her lips swollen as she tilted her face up for more. And now she’s out with another man when I should be the one sitting across the table from her?
Me.
She should be mine.
“Well, if she’s yours then you better make sure she knows it.”
I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts to no avail. My fingers are still clenched around my cell phone. I hadn’t meant to speak those words aloud. Why would I even say that?
“She can’t be mine.” I run my fingers through my hair while I stare daggers at the picture on my phone.
Mary reaches across the table to place her hand over the top of mine, and I nearly flinch at how cold her skin is. “How do you know if you don’t try?”
“I just pushed her away yesterday.” My desperate eyes meet hers. “And nothing has changed since then. She’s still my brother’s girl.”
Mary arches a perfectly manicured eyebrow and gives me an unimpressed look. “First of all, she’s a person. Not a possession.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Second of all, she isn’t Luke’s girl anymore.” Then she snickers to herself, a mischievous smile spreading across her red-painted lips. “She apparently didn’t like that ride, or she would have kept riding.”
“Oh, for the love—please, don’t.” I groan, but she only gives me a cheeky expression.
“Either you stop pussyfooting around and go get her, or risk watching her fall in love with another man.”
I tense, my eyes darting back down to the picture. She’s smiling at him, and I don’t like that she’s giving her smiles away so freely to someone who isn’t me. I want to hoard them all for myself.
My phone chimes with another text message from Paige, and this time, I see red. My anger swallows me whole, and if Mary weren’t sitting across from me, I would probably flip the table across the damn room.
It’s another picture. This time, the man is reaching across the table and resting his hand over her forearm. She’s giving him a coy smile, leaning forward just a little bit. Enough to show the lines of her ample cleavage, and although I can only see the back of his head, I’m almost positive by the way it’s cocked, that he’s staring down her dress.
“Well?”
My eyes slowly slide back up to Mary, and whatever expression I’m wearing, it makes her smirk. I think a flash of excitement dances across her face, but I’m too busy fuming to care.
“I’m not about to let another man look at what’s mine, much less touch her,” I practically growl. I’m not going to watch Maddie be with yet another man that isn’t me .
My fire captain chooses that moment to walk into the room. His jaw cracks as he yawns, his hands scratching at the brown beard sprinkled with gray. He pauses, giving me an inquisitive look when he sees me staring at him.
“What?” he asks.
I give him a diabolical grin. “Get the guys ready. We have a fire to put out.”
When I tell him what I want to do, he throws his head back with a spluttering laugh. Thankfully, he’s a cool guy. While he’s gathering the rest of the men into the fire truck, I shoot Paige a quick text.
I’m coming. If he touches her again, break his nose.