Chapter 7
7
E rin yawned for what felt like the millionth time as she made her way to the country club the next morning. Thanks to Logan’s help, she’d been able to finish making a new wedding cake and two sheet cakes to hide in the kitchen. It wasn’t ideal, but at least there would be something for the bride and groom to cut after dinner.
After pulling into a spot, she sat frozen in her seat.
“You can do this,” Logan said from beside her. “It’s a gorgeous cake and it will get the job done. Besides, the cake isn’t what matters. It’s the marriage.”
Erin knew Logan was right, but it was hard to think that way after the verbal lashing she’d received from both the bride and her mother the night before. It had taken everything in Erin to put so much effort into a cake that was going to be underappreciated. Still, she was a woman of her word, and she tried her best to make the prettiest cake possible with the time restraints.
“Erin.” Logan reached across the center console and squeezed her knee. “You did the best you could. It’s not your fault.”
Erin let out a shaky breath. With Logan’s hand on her knee, it was hard to think straight. She knew he meant the touch to be reassuring, but it sent her heart pounding in ways that were confusing. Even though Erin knew he was leaving soon, it had felt like they’d turned a corner last night. The way Logan took care of her kids while she picked up the pieces of the cake from the kitchen floor and the way he’d stayed up into the early hours of the morning with her to finish the new cake made her think that their friendship—or whatever this was—wasn’t completely lost.
It felt like answered prayer. And yet, it was impossible to understand.
“Come on. Let’s get this over with, and then we’ll go home and hang out with the kids.”
Home. The kids. Even his words made it difficult to sort through what was growing between them. But he was right, she needed to drop the wedding cake off and be done with it before she could think about anything else.
Logan and she got out of the car and walked to the back of the station wagon where the cakes were. She grabbed the small cake for the reception while Logan took the two sheet cakes that would be cut out of sight and then served to the guests. Careful not to let the cake slip from her hands, she and Logan walked through the front door of the country club. The building was the only place in Frostford nice enough to host an event of this caliber, and Erin was impressed by the light and airy feel of the inside, a result of the large windows that filled every wall.
The event hall was already decorated for that evening’s reception. Tables and chairs covered in white linens filled the room, except for the dancefloor in the middle. On top of each table were bouquets of yellow tulips. It was simple and elegant at the same time. Erin was hit with a wave of emotion as she recalled her own wedding.
She remembered the overwhelming feelings she’d felt that day. Excitement to be marrying the man she loved. The joy of knowing that she’d get to spend forever by his side. Erin never could have imagined that their forever would be cut short by cancer and that she’d be living a completely different life only ten short years later.
Erin blinked quickly, hoping to clear the tears that were filling her eyes as she re-lived those memories. But Logan was too perceptive for his own good. He stepped in front of her forcing Erin to stop.
“Wanna talk about it?”
Erin pressed her lips together and shook her head. She was afraid to talk about it. Between the stress of the cake and not sleeping, she was barely keeping her emotions in check. She knew if she tried to verbalize the emotions swirling through her, she would lose it.
Logan nodded. “If you change your mind, let me know. I know I wasn’t there. But ... Jake was my friend too. I’m happy to listen.”
For the first time, Erin didn’t feel anger at Logan talking about her late husband. She could see the genuineness in his eyes, hear it in his voice. He’d made some mistakes, big ones, but it was obvious that he was trying to make up for the way he’d acted. She was no better than the bride and her mother if she refused to forgive Logan for his past. It was time for her to let go of the grudge she’d been holding against him.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice soft.
She could see how Logan visibly relaxed with her response. She didn’t realize how much her animosity had been weighing on him. Jake was his friend too, and she was sure the guilt Logan felt from not being here was bad enough without her directing all of her anger at him as well.
He jerked his head toward what looked like a door to the kitchen. “Think we go that way?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
Before they could make it to the door, they were greeted by one of the caterers. The middle-aged man wearing a tuxedo looked at the boxes in her hands. “Mrs. Carlisle?”
Erin gave him a weak smile. “Yes, that’s me. ”
The man turned up his nose at her. “If you’ll follow me.”
Erin pushed down the embarrassment of being looked down on by the man. She had expected it, but it was still painful. She walked behind him in silence, trying to mask the hurt. Thankfully, Logan’s presence was enough to give her the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other. She didn’t know what she’d do without him here with her.
When the caterer pushed open the door of the kitchen, Erin followed him inside and was met by a flurry of motion. There were several men and women moving around in the small space. Some wore aprons and were cooking. Others wore similar get-ups to the man she’d followed back and were folding white napkins into intricate patterns.
The caterer pointed to a steel table off to the side. “You can put the cakes there.”
The words were not unkind in and of themselves, but he had a way of speaking them that made it seem like Erin brought a box of snails. As soon as she and Logan set the cakes down, the man opened the box with the small tiered cake. His face scrunched up in obvious disapproval. “I assume this is for the reception.”
Logan took a few steps so that he was standing between Erin and the caterer. “You don’t need to say it like that.”
The middle-aged man brushed an imaginary piece of lint from his shoulder. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re treating her like she just delivered a second-rate cake. And maybe it’s not as grand as you’re used to seeing, but it’s a beautiful cake and you have no idea what it took for her to get it here in time for this wedding.” He pointed at Erin. “This woman has more talent than I could ever hope to have, and I imagine more than you have, otherwise you would have been hired to bake the cake.”
Erin’s heart swelled at the way Logan talked about her. The same couldn’t be said for the caterer. His eyes widened in anger. “How dare you.”
She could sense Logan tense, and while she knew he wouldn’t actually fight with this man, she wanted to avoid making any more of a scene. She reached out and touched his arm. “Let’s go.”
Logan looked back at her, and his expression softened. He nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
They ignored the caterer’s unkind words as they walked out of the kitchen and through the reception hall. They didn’t speak the entire time, but once they reached Erin’s station wagon, Erin stopped and faced Logan. “Thank you for saying those things in there.”
Logan clenched his hands at his side. “He had no right to talk to you like that.”
She reached out and grabbed his hands, loosening his fingers from the fists they’d formed. “He doesn’t know what happened last night. He only has what he’s heard to go from. I’m sure the bride and her mother didn’t have the kindest things to say.”
“That’s another thing.” He looked down at their feet and shook his head. “I don’t like the idea of anyone talking badly about you.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you. They won’t be the only ones. I still need to go talk to the owners of Good Eats. I imagine they won’t have very nice things to say right now either. I have a feeling my days baking for them are over.”
He glared at the ground like it had personally offended him. “I don’t like that either.”
“Why not?”
He looked up at her. “Because ... ” He closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh. “Because I don’t.”
She squeezed his hands. “It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. I’ll be okay.”
He opened his eyes again and looked at her with such intensity that she was sure he was trying to see her soul. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure so much alone. And I’m sorry that I was one of those people who hurt you.”
Erin smiled softly. “I know.”
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
Her smile turned sad. “I know.”
But even as she said the words, she knew that he was going to. He had found a way into her life against her better judgment and he was going to leave again. While she hoped his leaving would look a lot different the second time, he’d be leaving nonetheless. But that was a problem for another day. The last twenty-four hours had been hard enough without adding that to the mix. She decided that was something she would worry about another day.
“Come on,” she said, tugging on his hand. “One more stop before we can go home.”
Erin was so exhausted that when Logan offered to drive after her disastrous meeting at Good Eats, she didn’t argue. Not only was she tired, but she had so many worries swirling through her mind, it wouldn’t have been safe for her to drive anyway.
Erin had to pay back the money from the wedding cake, had been officially let go from Good Eats, and was sure her reputation as a baker was in tatters. Like she’d told Logan, those were things that she could handle. What she couldn’t handle was the fact that her dream of buying Aunt Betty’s house was slipping through her fingers faster than water. This was the kind of financial setback that would be impossible to recover from.
Erin wanted to trust the Lord in this. As of right now, she and her children still had a place to live. She knew Aunt Betty wouldn’t kick her out of the house, but she also knew that everyday they got closer to a ‘for sale’ sign going up in the front yard. When that time came, Erin would need to either be in a position to buy or have a new place to go. And she had a feeling it was the latter.
She was barely keeping her tears at bay when Logan pulled into Aunt Betty’s driveway. Parker and Samantha started running to the car and the joy on their faces took away the sadness that had been hovering over her all morning. She practically jumped out of the car and started moving toward them.
“I love you,” she said as she lifted Parker off the ground and twirled him around.
“I love you too,” Parker said as she safely settled him back on the ground.
Erin crouched down and pulled Samantha into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” Samantha said into Erin’s shoulder as she squeezed back.
Erin stood up. “I’m so happy to be home with you guys.”
The kids, not missing a beat and totally oblivious to Erin’s inner struggles, started giving Erin a breakdown of all they’d done that morning. It was such a sweet moment, and Erin’s earlier tears threatened to return, this time with happiness to know that no matter what happened, she had her children. The Lord would see them through whatever came their way.
As Parker and Samantha talked about the new game they’d come up with, and all of the rules, Erin registered Logan’s presence behind her. He didn’t say anything or rush her but she had the feeling that he was lingering for a reason.
Her attention went back to her children as they continued. Their excitement was contagious, and she loved listening to every detail. She could see little reminders of Jake in the way they picked up some of his mannerisms before he died. There were a lot of hard things in this life, but she was so thankful the Lord had given her these two precious gifts. They were such a joy in her life, and she was thankful for the way she still felt connected to Jake through them.
When they had finished talking, Erin pulled them close once more to give them another hug. “That sounds like so much fun. I’m so glad you told me about it.”
Samantha and Parker beamed back at her.
“Are you finally done with the wedding?” Samantha asked.
Erin knew her children felt the pressure of the event, and all the drama that came with it, as much as she’d tried to shield them from it. She needed a break. Her children needed a break. And Erin knew of a great—and free—way they could enjoy the rest of their day since it was still early.
“I know you’ve been playing outside all morning, but how would you feel about packing some sandwiches and going down to the park for a little while?”
“Have they turned on the water?” Parker asked, his eyes wide .
Erin nodded, a grin spreading across her lips. “They have.”
“Yay!” He quickly ran to the house to get his things. The water feature at the park was one of his favorite things to do, and he knew exactly what he would need without Erin telling him.
She looked down at Samantha. “Do you want to go too?”
Her daughter nodded eagerly.
“Great. Go get your things. I’ll make some sandwiches and we’ll head down in just a few minutes.”
Samantha ran up the porch stairs and disappeared inside the house.
Now that it was just the two of them outside, Logan made his way toward Erin. “I’m sorry about today.”
“I’m just glad it’s over.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I think the park will be really fun for you and the kids.”
“I think some time with them is just what I need after everything.”
The two of them stood looking at each other in an uncomfortable silence. There was so much to say, but Erin was too tired to voice most of it, especially when her children were packing for a park trip and would be back any minute. Conversations about what was growing between them and what would happen when he left would have to be put off for now. “Thanks again for all your help,” she said, trying to keep things simple .
“You’re welcome.” He gave her a timid smile. “Have a great time with your kids.” He started to walk past her toward the guest house.
“Wait.” The word was out before she knew what she was doing. It was possible this was a bad idea. From the way her palms sweated, she was sure of it. But now that Logan was facing her and watching her as he waited for her to continue, there was no going back. She took a deep breath and forced the next words out. “Would you like to come to the park and have a picnic with us?”
Logan stared back at her like he was examining some difficult problem he couldn’t solve.
Erin’s cheeks warmed. She immediately regretted asking. Not only had Logan spent the previous night helping her remake a cake, he’d gone to the country club and Good Eats with her today. Helping her and the kids wasn’t the reason he was here. He had plenty of other things to do before he left. It was a mistake to invite him.
“I-I’m sure you have other things to do. And really, I can only make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Maybe some chips. It?—”
“It sounds perfect,” he said. His voice was firm and even. His eyes found hers and held her gaze.
She couldn’t argue when he looked at her like that. Didn’t want to. “I just need a few minutes to pack.”
“I’ll help.”
“Okay.” Erin let him follow her to the kitchen and help pack lunches. Soon, both Samantha and Parker were bouncing around the small room, asking if it was time to go yet.
Erin chuckled as she put the last of the food inside the wicker basket. “Okay, okay. Let’s go.”
Fifteen minutes later, Logan and Erin were sitting in the shade of a tree. There was a light breeze in the air, and the clouds in the sky were just enough to shield everyone who played in the water from the harshness of the sun without making the day gloomy. It was perfect.
Samantha and Parker squealed in delight as they ran back and forth through the streams of water that shot from the ground in regular intervals. They were soaked from head to toe, and it was obvious that they were loving every minute.
This is nice, Erin thought as she pulled out the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from the picnic basket. The kids weren’t ready to eat yet, but she was famished. She handed one to Logan. “Hungry?”
Logan grabbed the sandwich from Erin. “Starving.”
She took another sandwich out of her basket and took a bite as she watched her children play. As people walked by, she wondered what they might be thinking. People who didn’t know her probably thought Logan and Erin were picture-perfect parents watching their children play at the park. The people who did know her might judge her for moving on too fast, even though that wasn’t what was happening with Logan. Either way, she was filled with guilt for enjoying this time with Logan. She wondered if her time might be better spent looking for a new job or talking to Aunt Betty about possible options to rent-to-own.
And still, she didn’t want to leave. She was thankful for the beautiful weather, thankful for time with her children, and thankful for the companionship she had with Logan.
Erin still had so many questions. The best way to have them answered was to have the difficult conversation she’d been putting off with him. She worried that bringing up old memories would mess up the peaceful balance that had developed.
When she looked over at Logan, he was looking back at her, a smile touching his lips.
“What?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear feeling self-conscious beneath his gaze.
“I’m just thinking this is a perfect way to end the last couple of days.” He looked down at his sandwich. “This is nice.”
Erin smiled down at her own sandwich. “It is nice.”
“I’m glad I’m here.”
If Erin was being honest with herself, she was glad too. She’d gotten used to Logan’s presence and had started to lean on him. There would definitely be a day of reckoning, but for now, she was content to enjoy this afternoon.