Chapter 30
30
LINCOLN
I did the right thing. I know that moving her over to Roy was the right move. Still, every time I look up and see another woman’s face, a strange sense of longing floods my body. Longing for the comfort her presence brought me.
Paris will be a fine assistant. Roy has only ever had the best things to say about her. She already knows the ways of the company and our programs, so there won’t be much of a learning curve for her.
Still, she’s not Kylie.
I shrivel a little at the recollection of her accusations. There are no words for how it felt for me to realize that she sees me just like every other person in this city does. A heartless billionaire who only cares about himself. Someone who moves from woman to woman simply to objectify and use them for my own personal pleasure. She was so quick to think the absolute worst of me.
Instead of going home to sulk by myself, away from the questions and scrutiny of others, tonight just so happens to be a happy-hour night with the guys.
I show up a little late, hoping they have already settled into some bullshit conversation that I can slide into and remain untouched. I order my drink and listen to the five of them discuss the refs’ calls during the last Sunday night football game.
“It was total bullshit.” Walker slams down his beer. “That tackle was not roughing the passer. What kind of shit call was that?”
“Totally agree, man.” Dean nods his head. “I had to turn the game off. I couldn’t watch it any longer.”
“Did you catch the game?” Colton nods at me just as my beer is placed in front of me.
I shrug as I chug down half the beer in one sip. “I had it on in the background. Wasn’t really paying much attention to it.”
As I recall, I was texting with Kylie while she was trying to make tiramisu. She kept freaking out about the raw egg in the recipe, and I had to calm her down. It was rather hilarious. I ended up having to research it and told her to make sure she was using pasteurized eggs but that she should be fine. It is how you make authentic tiramisu.
And just like that, her words from earlier ring in my ears, like I’m wearing headphones and the conversation is playing on repeat. No matter how much I try to ignore them and stay engaged, they continue to be louder and more cutting.
I finish my beer and order another one. I listen as they move from one topic to the other, each one as pointless as the last. I don’t care about football, work, or politics. Not when a woman I began to trust just took that trust, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it with her heel.
What’s the point of love? Why do people believe in it? Someone can turn on you just like that, with no care for the truth.
Kylie certainly played me well. She wasn’t like the other assistants. They were after my money. She was after something far more valuable—my heart. The worst part of it all is that she got it. She got it—and she broke it.
After my fourth beer, I start to find it hard to focus on anything but the noise in my head, telling me I’m an idiot.
How could she trust you when you refused to trust her first and open up to her?
“Whoa,” Roman’s voice rumbles next to me. “Are all these empty glasses yours?”
I look down at the ten empty pint glasses in front of me. Wait. No, I think I’m seeing double. It’s five empty glasses.
“I … fffink so,” I reply sluggishly.
Five beers aren’t so bad. I don’t know what the big deal is. I’ve had five beers in an evening before.
“Dude,” Walker says roughly, “you’ve been here for, like, forty-five minutes. How did you drink that much in such a short amount of time? You must be hammered.”
I try to bat my hand at him to let him know he’s making a big deal about nothing, but my hand must hit the glasses in front of me because they all clink together. Roman and Sawyer, who are sitting next to me, grab the glasses to settle them and make sure nothing breaks.
“I’m finnnnne,” I argue.
They all look at each other, concern written all over their faces. I roll my eyes, which kind of makes the world spin a bit.
Walker’s voice lowers. “What’s going on? I’ve never seen you drink like this. Something’s up with you.”
“It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.” I open up my wallet and throw whatever cash I have in there on the table. “I’m gonna go fome … home.”
I step off the barstool and run into Roman. Shit. How did he get so close?
“That’s it,” Walker says, resigned. “I’m gonna make sure you get home safely.”
He stands up and holds my arm.
Before we make it to the exit, Colton joins me on the other side. “I’m coming with you guys.”
They practically manhandle me into the back seat of my car. I rest my head against the seat and close my eyes, but the spinning of the car tells me that’s a big mistake. Instead, I settle for keeping my eyes glued out the window.
“Something happen with you and Kylie?” Colton asks after several minutes of silence.
“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper.
“It seems like it matters a lot to you. You don’t behave like this. What happened?”
I look over at him, void of emotion. “She just reminded me of something that I had begun to forget.”
“What’s that?” he asks.
“That the only person you can trust in this world is yourself.”