Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
ATLAS
I can’t explain it, but I’ve been on cloud nine ever since hearing our little jellybean’s heartbeat.
Fuck, man. I don’t know when I started thinking of this baby as ours , because clearly, it’s not my anything.
Nora’s not either, and while I’m not going to push her, I damn sure want her to be.
I want both of them to be mine.
It’s wild; if someone would have asked me a few weeks ago if I ever wanted kids, I’d have laughed.
But now I’m racking my brain, trying to think of where we can stick a nursery and how I can convince Nora to stay here with me.
Even if nothing more ever happens between us, I want to be in this kid’s life, and while I’ll gladly take on any role she’ll allow me, I want to be a good example for him, to right my dad’s wrongs.
Not that we know it’s a boy—hence jellybean, because calling the baby it didn’t feel right.
I’m so far ahead of myself it’s not even funny.
Forget putting the cart before the horse, I’m mashing the gas pedal to the floor, and there’s not even an engine under the hood.
“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Ellis asks, tossing a handful of chips at me.
“The fuck, man?” I jump back, trying to gather all of the crumbs.
“Now the couch is going to be crunchy.”
He rolls his eyes and digs another handful out of the bag.
“Back to my question. You look like you’re constipated or something.”
“Just got a lot on my mind.”
“Care to share with the class?”
I glance down the hall toward my room, where Nora’s holed up, most likely writing in her diary.
“About Nora and the baby and?—”
“Dude, you’re so sunk it’s not even funny.”
My first inclination is to deny it, but what’s the point?
There’s something about the redhead down the hall that has me wearing my heart on my sleeve and acting like the sap I swore I’d never be.
“I know.” I scrub my hands over my face before reclining back against the couch cushions.
“I just wish I knew what to do about it.”
“What”—Ellis blinks at me, clearly confused—“do you mean?”
“I’m not right for her.” I lean my head against the back of the couch.
“I wish like hell I was, but I’m not.”
“I think you’re full of shit.” Ellis chuckles as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.
“But I’ll bite. Why aren’t you right for her?”
“She needs someone…” My words dry up like the fucking Sahara relocated in my throat.
“Someone who’ll love her and her baby, care for her, protect her, put her first, make her happy,” Ellis lists with an eye roll.
“Yeah.” I nod. “All of that.”
“Hmm.” He leans back, drumming his fingertips against his knees.
“Seems like you already do most of that.”
“None of that matters, though. Not when I’m directly related to the reason for all of her suffering. How could she ever want me, man? How could I ever hope to be more than a reminder of all she’s suffered through?”
“One.” Ellis holds up his index finger.
“Self-pity doesn’t look good on you.” He adds a second finger.
“Two, it’s not your place to make these kinds of choices for her. She’s had enough choices stripped away from her, Atlas.”
My entire body melts into the couch as frustration and shame battle it out inside of me.
“You’re right. Fuck, man. You’re right.”
Ellis grins.
“Usually am.”
“Right about what?” Nora asks, stepping into the room, making my whole body jolt.
Sneaky little red-haired ninja.
But before either of us can answer her, the front door flies open, and Nora drops to the floor, curling into a fetal position.
“Shit!” I growl, cutting my eyes at the rude-as-hell blonde darkening our doorway before rushing over to Nora.
“It’s okay, Pip. You’re safe. It’s just Scarlet.”
She’s shaking like a leaf but doesn’t object when I wrap my arms around her, sliding her onto my lap.
“Listen to my heartbeat,” I whisper to her, brushing her hair off her forehead.
“You’re here with me, and you’re safe.”
“I’m sorry.” Scarlet sighs.
“I wasn’t thinking.”
Ellis snorts.
“You rarely do.”
“Why are you here, Scar?” I ask, still rubbing soothing circles over Nora’s back.
“I brought pizzas!” she says, as if that explains her presence inside of our home, uninvited.
Nora sniffles against my chest. “P-pizza?” she asks, pulling back from me and sniffing the air.
“What kind?”
“Um, one pepperoni, one cheese, and one supreme.”
Nora whimpers, and I want nothing more than to march Scarlet right back out the way she came in, but I’m not willing to let go of the woman on my lap to do it.
“I haven’t had pizza in…” Nora glances up at me, her eyes wet and cheeks pink.
“Years. It’s been years.” She sniffs the air again and shudders against me.
“It smells so good.”
“Then let’s eat,” Scarlet chirps, knowing she’s off the hook.
Ellis tips his chin my way before following Scarlet into the kitchen, leaving me to make sure Nora’s truly okay.
“You good?” I ask once it’s just the two of us.
She tries to smile, but it comes off as more of a grimace.
“Just embarrassed.”
“Don’t be.” I slide her off of my lap so I can stand and help her up.
“Scarlet should know better than to bust into someone’s house without being invited. This is on her, Pip, not you.”
“If you say so.” It’s clear she doesn’t believe me, but I meant every word.
Scarlet should know better than to just let herself into someone’s house.
Things were different when we were together, but we aren’t now, and she damn sure needs to remember it.
“I do.” I grab her hand and tug her into my side.
“Now let’s go grab some slices before those two eat them all.”
The sound of Ellis and Scarlet bickering greet us as we make our way into the kitchen.
Just like the last time we stumbled upon the two of them going at it, we pause to listen.
“You want my mother’s number?” Scarlet asks incredulously.
Her back is to us, but I’d bet my entire paycheck that her eyes are narrowed into thin slits and her cheeks are every bit as red as her name implies.
“I do.” Ellis is one hundred percent the calm to her storm, as he props one elbow on the island.
“Why?” The word sounds more like a snarl.
“I’d like to have a chat with her about your upbringing. Give her some feedback on the areas she failed you.” He shrugs, looking her up and down.
“I’m sure she did her best, given your natural predisposition.”
“I swear to God,” she growls.
“You insufferable, pig-headed?—”
“Yeah, no.” He cuts her off.
“You don’t get to insult me in my own home, especially when you’re not even an invited guest.”
“Should we put a stop to this?” Nora asks, worrying the hem of her shirt between her fingers.
“Probably.” I sigh and slide my palm against hers, interlocking our fingers.
“C’mon, Pip, let’s go settle the kids.”
She gives me a goofy grin as we walk into the warzone formerly known as our kitchen.
“Sit by me,” Scarlet says to Nora, suddenly calm and smiling.
The girl’s moods flip faster than a fair ride.
A burst of pride rockets through me when Nora releases my hand and claims the stool next to Scarlet.
She may not realize it, but each day she’s growing more confident in herself, and I’m fucking here for it.
Watching her come into herself is like watching a rare flower bloom.
It sounds lame as hell, worded like that, but it’s the truth.
She’s awe-inspiring.
I plate us each up a few slices before sliding onto the stool on her other side.
Most of our meals together so far have been met with little fanfare, other than her thanking us—despite being told no thanks are necessary.
But her first bite of pizza—it’s something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
The little happy squirm she does after each bite is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
In this moment, she’s pure and unbridled joy, and I’m the lucky fucker getting to bask in the glow of her smile.
“So, tell me, Nora,” Scarlet says around a mouthful of pizza, ever the lady.
“What did you think of Dr. Snider?”
Nora chews and swallows before answering.
“She seemed really nice.”
Scarlet swipes her tongue over her teeth and then leans a little closer.
“Did you give any thought to what she asked?”
My heart slows in my chest as my entire body tenses; I’m a predator about to pounce and rip the throat out of my prey, because I know exactly what Scarlet’s asking.
But Nora beats me to it.
“I’ve already made up my mind, thanks.”
“Are you sure?” Scarlet presses, never knowing when to leave well enough alone.
“You have options, Nora. You don’t have to keep?—”
“I know you’re coming from a good place,” Nora cuts her off, leaning back into me.
I press a hand to the small of her back in a silent display of support, letting her know I’m here for her.
“I’m sure it probably seems strange, but I love my baby, and I’m keeping it. Just like I would never judge another woman for choosing differently, I hope you can find it in you to respect me and my decision.”
Scarlet flushes but nods all the same.
“Got it.”
“Thanks.” Nora twists in her stool so that she can look my way.
“But I have been thinking about something…”
“What’s up?” I already know whatever she says, I’ll do my best to make it happen.
“I think I’d like to speak with someone. A professional. I-I used to see a lady named Maggie, but it’s been years.”
“Do you know her last name?” Ellis asks.
He’s been so quiet, I almost forgot he was with us.
“Tyler.” She tips her head to the side.
“I think.”
Ellis nods, before giving voice to what I’m already thinking.
“I’ll find her.”
And we will, because if there’s one thing I know—if Nora needs it, we’ll work tirelessly to make sure she has it.