Chapter 27 #2
“I did it to protect you…” Alistair winced because the lie felt wrong to speak.
He then bowed his head, finally willing to admit the truth.
“No, that is not… I did it to protect myself, Hugh,” he admitted.
“I feared what people would say if they learned of my father’s…
our father’s infidelity. It was easier to say you were mine, saving his name from being dragged through the dirt.
I thought it best to save my own skin while hoping it would dissuade any further questions.
” He scoffed. “I lied to everyone, you especially. And while I do not expect you to forgive me, I only ask that you understand why I did it.”
“Your… you and me…” There was a tinge of hope in his voice. “We’re brothers?”
“We are.” Alistair smiled, and it grew when he saw the look of adoration in Hugh’s eyes. He wasn’t upset. He wasn’t ashamed. If anything, he looked proud, even excited. “Half-brothers, but that is irrelevant. We share the same father, we share the same blood, and that makes us one.”
Hugh nodded along. “I always wanted a brother.”
Alistair sputtered an awkward laugh of relief. “Me too.”
“Does this mean…” His expression turned severe. “That I can’t stay with you –”
“No, not at all,” Alistair cut him off, squeezing his shoulder and looking at him as he did. “And you must know, it is imperative that people continue to think you are my son, Hugh. That way, you are entitled to everything I own. That is why I lied.”
Hugh frowned. “But don’t you want a son of your own?”
Alistair opened his mouth to tell him no, that he wanted no such thing.
But he could not bring himself to say the words…
another lie, he came to realize in that moment.
Where Alistair had never wanted a child of his own before, what he had with Hugh had made him realize that such a thing was nowhere near as awful as he always imagined.
And my father too… while I hate what he did, a part of me understands now. He shirked his responsibility, resenting what was forced on him. But I am not my father… nor is Hugh, for that matter.
“One day, maybe.” The words sounded better than Alistair ever dreamed, and he felt a flutter in his heart. “But do not worry about that.” He squeezed Hugh’s shoulder again as he looked at him. “You will always be my son legally, and that will not change.”
“But…” Hugh considered his next words. “I… I like the idea of being your brother. I want to be your brother.”
Alistair nearly burst into tears. His chin began to tremble. His eyes welled. Taken by the moment, he pulled his half-brother into his arms and hugged him tight, and he almost wept again when Hugh didn’t pull away.
“Me too,” Alistair said. “Brothers. It has a nice sound to it.”
“Does Miss Norleigh know?” Hugh asked as he pulled away.
Alistair sighed. “She does… but only recently. Like you, she was lied to. Unlike you, she is rather upset with me.” He laughed and shook his head. “But do not hold that against her, she has every right to be.”
“Why is she upset?”
“She feels that I used her,” Alistair said. “That I am not the person who she thought that I was.”
“Are you?” he asked.
“Am I what?” Alistair blinked at the question.
“Are you who she thought you are?” He pressed his face into a frown, clearly confused by what Alistair had said. “I don’t… you said you lied for the right reasons, didn’t you?”
“I thought that I did.”
“Then tell her that.”
“It’s not that easy, Hugh.”
“Why not?” he asked, his voice hardening. “I forgive you, so why can’t she?”
“Maybe she will one day…” Alistair rested his hand on Hugh’s shoulder again. “Assuming she ever talks to me again.”
“Why don’t you talk to her?” Hugh pushed. “If you know you did the right thing, make her see that. Make her understand.”
Alistair almost told Hugh that it wasn’t that simple. It sure did not feel as if it was. But he looked at his brother, and he saw the innocence in his eyes, the complete lack of guile, and the way he viewed the world through a frame of simplicity. In his eyes, things were that easy.
Maybe it is that easy? Maybe I’m just making it more complicated than it needs to be? Or maybe I’m just scared that she won’t forgive me… yes, that is likely it.
He laughed and patted Hugh on the back. When one knew so little of the world, it was easy to view it through such a simplistic light.
And sometimes, often, that was the way things should be.
Yes, Miss Norleigh was angry with Alistair, and no, she might never forgive him.
But how could she if he never gave her a chance to do so?
“You’re right,” Alistair said with a smile that he felt in his heart; it was relief taking him over, the guilt he had felt now for days slowly fading. “Maybe I will talk to her.”
“You should,” Hugh said with a determined nod, and then he grinned. “And then maybe she can teach me to swim.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re not a very good teacher…” His smile was wicked and he brimmed with laughter.
“Just because you’re my brother, doesn’t mean you can speak to me like that…” Alistair pretended to scowl at Hugh.
“Yes, it does,” Hugh said.
To that, Alistair could only laugh. He felt relief like he had not done in days, and the sun came out from behind the clouds and shone brightly on him once again.
His problems were not all solved, but there was a path he could take to solve them. All he had to do was be brave enough….