Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-four
Alice
My thumb was so darn black, I was ready to rip up my whole yard and replace it with pebbles. I wanted bright, pretty flowers growing everywhere. Instead, I had dandelions and clover. Not to mention the hundreds of dollars I’d spent on perennials that had bloomed once then never again.
On my knees in the dirt, I sighed, swiping my sweat-beaded forehead. This was hopeless. It was probably better to give up on my front yard for the day and expend the rest of my energy on something else.
As soon as the thought had entered my mind, the distinct rumble of a pickup truck approached down my quiet street. As it slowed, I turned, surprised to recognize the oversized white vehicle then momentarily panicked.
Caleb was parking his truck at my curb, and I was a sweaty mess.
I also didn’t have a drop of makeup on, and I had thrown my hair on top of my head in a messy bun.
Not to mention, I was only wearing cutoff jean shorts, a worn-out college tee, and no bra.
And I was almost certain I’d just smeared dirt across my forehead.
He climbed out of his truck, circled it, then grinned at me on the ground. My heart did a painful twist, rattling the bars of its cage, and I couldn’t seem to get my limbs to cooperate to stand up.
“Hey, Allie,” he called as he made his way down my walk. “Doing some gardening?”
“Hey.” I waved my spade at him. “Yes, I’m trying, but I think I’m failing.”
When he reached me, he offered a hand. I let him pull me to my feet then quickly took my hand back, retreating a couple steps.
Caleb didn’t miss any of this. His mouth flattened into a thin, hard line.
“How are you?” he asked. “How was it being back at Joy’s?”
I tried to stuff my hands in my back pockets, but the casted one got stuck, so I let them fall to my sides.
“I’m really good, actually. I think getting back into my routine has done me well.
I feel almost normal. Your mom’s been a big support.
So, that’s…” There weren’t really words for Elena.
She was like an extra backbone and beacon, guiding me through.
I kept waiting for nightmares and panic attacks—both of which I’d had plenty growing up—but they hadn’t come.
If I’d had Elena around back then, I felt I would’ve fared a whole lot better. “Well, you know what she’s like.”
“I do. There’s no one like her.”
He nodded a few times, and that was when I noticed he’d gotten a haircut.
His long hair was tidy, skimming his collar, but still long enough in the front to tuck neatly behind his ears.
His beard had been shaped up too. I could see his lips when he spoke and his straight, white teeth when he smiled.
He noticed me checking him out, and his big hand brushed along the back of his head.
“I made a stop at the barber this morning. Long overdue.”
“It looks great, Caleb. I liked the long hair too, but like this…I can see your smile.”
“Yeah?” He cocked his head. “I’ll be sure to keep up the trims.”
“Okay.” What was happening right now? “Did you need something else?”
He glanced toward his truck then back to me, almost like he was debating with himself. Finally, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out something flat, neatly wrapped in brown paper and tied with a thin piece of twine.
“This is for you. I found it in the ranch’s resort store and thought of you.” He held it out, palm open.
I hesitated before taking it. The last thing I needed was another gift from this man.
It was bad enough I was reminded of him every time I looked at the little pot on my desk at work.
But I couldn’t help my curiosity. The paper crackled as I untied the string and peeled it away, revealing a slim bookmark made of clear acrylic with a pink tassel on top.
Pressed inside were tiny wildflowers—purple, white, and yellow—arranged like a miniature bouquet frozen in time.
“It was made by a local artisan,” he said quietly. “The flowers grow up on the ridge trail this time of year.”
I traced a fingertip over the cool acrylic, the little petals still vivid despite their stillness. “This is…I mean, I don’t even…” I shook my head. “Why?”
His jaw worked, like he wasn’t sure how to answer. “I wanted you to have flowers.”
“Caleb…”
He held up his hands. “It’s not a bouquet. Not yet. But I saw it and thought you’d like looking at it when you’re reading.”
My confusion only deepened. He was standing in front of my house, checking in on me, finding a work-around on my previous declaration to give me flowers that would never wilt. Not only that, he was looking at me in a way I could only interpret as tender.
It didn’t make sense.
“Can we talk for a minute?”
I nodded, following him to the porch, hoping he’d clear things up so I wasn’t in a constant state of whiplash.
We sat on the steps, side by side, the wood creaking under us. Caleb put his back to the support post and twisted his body toward me. His long legs stretched down the steps, heavy boots resting on the bottom one.
He got started, saying the last thing I expected. “I’ve really missed our calls. Reading without you isn’t the same.”
I didn’t know how to answer that, but that was okay, because he didn’t wait for me to speak. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, eyes on me.
“I have a problem with not seeing the world in front of me and sometimes overlook important things. Beautiful, wonderful things. Like you. You have become such an intrinsic part of the fabric of my life, I only noticed your threads were some of the brightest and most vibrant when you unraveled yourself.” He blew out a heavy breath.
“It was your absence after I screwed up that made me wake up to what I was missing.”
My mouth had gone dry. My nose twitched. And I couldn’t summon a single word. I was half convinced I was dreaming, but even in my dreams, Caleb had never said anything like this. Still, I pinched myself to be sure. A girl couldn’t be too careful.
Of course, he saw it, and his smile was so endearingly crooked, I might’ve laughed if I didn’t half feel like crying.
He reached across the narrow space between us and brushed his rough fingertips over the top of my hand.
“You told me you’re over me, but I’m hoping maybe there’s a small part of you that isn’t.
That maybe you’d allow me to prove myself to you and grow that tiny seed until it blooms again.
” He curled his thick fingers around mine, squeezing ever so gently.
“My timing couldn’t be worse, but I need you to know I have more patience than sense. I will wait as long as you need.”
I licked my lips, trying to formulate a coherent response. Weeks ago, sitting here like this would have been everything I’d ever wanted. Now, I didn’t know how to trust this was real.
“What do you want from me, Caleb?” I asked.
“I’d like our phone calls back.” He turned my hand over, resting it on his, and traced his fingers over the lines on my palm.
“I want to hear about your day and tell you about mine. I’d like to take you out for a meal.
I don’t know if you like to dance, but if you do, I’d love to spin you around a dance floor. ”
All I could say was: “I’ve never really danced.”
His thumb stilled on my palm, the faintest smile tugging at his mouth. “Then I’ll teach you. I’m no expert, but I think we could have fun together. I know we could.”
I shook my head quickly, trying to clear the cobwebs.
“I don’t understand where this is coming from.
Is this some kind of misguided guilt thing?
Because of what happened to me?” My voice came out sharper than I meant, but I couldn’t stop it.
“You don’t have to—pity-date me or whatever this is.
The attack wasn’t your fault. You have to know that. ”
His brows drew together, and the hurt in his eyes was immediate, unguarded.
“No. God, Allie, no.” He leaned closer, his voice low but fierce.
“This isn’t about that. Not even a little bit.
This is about me finally getting my head out of my ass and seeing the beautiful woman who gave me the best damn kiss of my life in a bar bathroom. ”
My cheeks burned, and my heart gave a wild, traitorous kick. “The best kiss?”
“The absolute best, no question,” he confirmed. “I think we could add a lot to each other’s lives. Not just kissing. Though I’m on board for a lot more of that too.”
The laugh that bubbled out of me bordered on hysterical. This was too much. “I’m sorry I don’t have a better response. I simply don’t know what to say.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He curled his fingers around mine again, and my hand was lost within his. It was brand new and immediately became one of my favorite feelings. I suspected hugging him would be even better. “I don’t expect you to give me any kind of answer today or anytime soon.”
“That’s good, because I’m so very confused.”
His smile was warm, dosed with even more tenderness. “That’s my fault, and I’m sorry as hell. From here on out, I intend to be as clear and honest as I can. That is, if you want that.”
“Honesty? Of course I want it.”
“I meant from me. Here I am, showing up at your house, and I don’t even know if you want to see me.” His eyes darted between mine, searching for something. “I never want to put you in a position where you feel like you don’t have a choice.”
And this was why I’d always be a goner for him. Despite everything, he really was a good, solid man. But I was still shaken up, and he was right—the timing was all wrong. As much as I wanted to, rushing headlong into something so intense was probably a bad idea.
“I just…” My throat worked, and I looked away toward the half-dead petunias by my steps. “I need time to think about everything you said.”
“Of course.” No hesitation. No flash of disappointment. Just an easy nod, like he’d anticipated that answer. “I’ll leave you to your gardening.”
He stood, his shadow falling over me for a moment before he started down the steps. I sat there, the bookmark beside me, watching him cross the walk. His gait was slow. Not like he was hoping I’d beg him back, but maybe he was in no hurry to leave me.
He’d opened the truck door, one boot already inside, when the words tumbled out of me before I could think. “Caleb…wait.”
He turned, hand braced on the doorframe, eyebrows raised.
I stood, heart hammering, and crossed the short stretch of yard to him. “There’s something I’d like…well, I guess need is the better word for it. Will you give me one thing?”
“Anything you want or need—it’s yours,” he vowed.
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Would you give me a hug?”
For a second, something in his expression softened so much, it made me ache all over. Then he stepped down from the truck and wrapped those big arms around me, pulling me flush against him.
Heaven help me, the second my chest hit his, I melted.
He was tall and strong, but there was nothing hard about the way he held me, just solid warmth and a slow, steady heartbeat under my ear.
His beard brushed the top of my head, his hand splayed broad and protective against my back.
It was everything I’d imagined…and so much worse, because now I knew exactly how it felt.
“Is this good?” he murmured.
“So good,” I answered, barely resisting the urge to rub my face against the well-worn flannel of his shirt.
“Yeah,” he rumbled. “It is.”
I might have stayed there forever if the sound of a car in desperate need of a new muffler hadn’t brought me back to earth. With a sigh, I took a step back. Caleb looked down at me, his thumb brushing a stray hair from my cheek.
“Thank you for giving me that.”
“Anything you ask for, Allie,” he murmured. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”