Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-five
Alice
The time I needed turned out to be approximately twenty-nine hours and thirty-seven minutes. I’d done nothing but think about what Caleb had said, how he’d said it, and that hug. Oh, that hug.
His phantom arms had stayed around me for hours after he left. I’d been so fortified from less than a minute in his embrace, I’d gardened the hell out of my yard, the whole time thinking about what it would be like to give Caleb a chance.
I bet I’d get a lot more of those hugs. And more. So much more.
I really wanted more, especially with him. I’d never wanted it with anyone else.
I managed to hold off until nine that night. The usual time of our phone calls. My hands only shook slightly as I dialed his number.
I’d almost lost my nerve by the time he answered on the fourth ring.
“Allie? You okay?”
“Hey, I’m fine,” I replied, though that was an exaggeration. I was somewhat freaking out. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Give me a second, I want to hear everything you’ve been thinking.” I heard movement then a door closing. “Sorry. I got Jesse back this afternoon. He’s in his room, doing his thing, but I doubt he wants to hear his old man on the phone with his favorite librarian.”
I laughed. “Did he have a good week with his mom?”
“Sure. They get along pretty well. I appreciate you asking, but I suspect Jesse wasn’t what was on your mind.”
“You want me to cut to the chase?” I teased.
“To tell you the truth, I’m so glad to have your voice in my ear again, you could read me a receipt, and I’d listen.”
A gush of air rushed out of me so fast, I fell heavily onto my couch cushions. “That was sweet.”
“I told you I missed our calls, and I meant it.”
“I have too.” I nodded to myself, rubbing my hand along my thigh. “And I’d like to maybe start them again, if you want.”
“You know I do,” he cooed roughly, sending goose bumps flooding down my arms.
“Okay. Then we should. There are a few things you should know—to know what you’re getting into with me.”
“I’m all ears. Eager to know as much of you as you’d like to share.”
There was a loose thread on my cutoffs, longer than the others. I curled it around my finger and gathered my thoughts. They stacked and stacked on the tip of my tongue until spilling out all at once.
“You were right, Caleb. I think I’m a lover girl at heart, and I do want something serious. I’m not in a rush, but I would like to be married and have at least one child. If that isn’t something you could see yourself having with me, we should—”
“It is,” he rushed out, cutting me off. “If I couldn’t see myself possibly going there with you, I wouldn’t have approached you.”
Relief settled me, but only slightly. I had a lot more to get through.
“Good. You should also know I don’t have any family to speak of. I was estranged from my parents when they died. My sister too. And that night I kissed you, I had received a letter from her lawyer telling me she’d passed.”
I braced for his reaction, but all he said was: “Christ, Allie, I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. We had a very complicated relationship and were never close. It’s a strange feeling, knowing I’m alone in the world. She also left me all her money, which was a lot.”
He released a long, heavy breath. “Complicated or not, I’m still sorry. But you’re not alone in the world. You’ve got Joy, and my mom is not giving you up, and me—you’ve got me, no matter how this phone call goes.”
That was true. I did have Joy. She’d become more of a mother to me than my own had been, and she’d only known me four years. She’d probably cringe and shoo me away if she heard me thinking of her as a mother figure, but deep beneath her hard, rough exterior, I knew she loved me.
I wasn’t ready to consider Elena and Caleb yet. It was much too soon for that.
“Thank you. There’s more, though.”
“Hit me with it. I’m ready.”
“Okay. Here goes.” I took a deep breath and let the rest of it spill.
“I only have one kidney. I donated the other to my sister, then she never spoke to me again. I have all this money, and the only thing I can think to spend it on is more books—for me and the library. I don’t really want to go on an exotic vacation or buy a fancy car.
I might become the old woman who lives in a shoe, only I’d live in a book. ”
When I paused, he asked, “Is there more?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s hear it,” he gruffed.
“You should also know I’m a virgin—not for any religious reasons or personal convictions. It just hasn’t happened, then I moved here and seemed to have developed a thing for you I couldn’t shake…and…well, that was probably more information than you signed up for.”
I clamped down on my bottom lip to keep myself from saying anything else. If I hadn’t ruined things yet, that stream of consciousness surely would have done it.
Then Caleb asked, “You can’t shake it, huh?” and he didn’t sound the least bit turned off. In fact, I was pretty certain he was teasing me.
“I can’t. It’s the damnedest thing,” I teased back. “Try as I might, I’m hooked on you.”
“Good, because I’m hooked on you too, Alice.”
My heart tumbled off a cliff and flew right back up. “You are? Even after I dumped all that baggage on you?”
“More,” he rumbled. “I like you telling me about yourself. I want to know it all.”
“Are you sure that wasn’t too much information? I’m cringing over here.”
“I wish I could see you. I bet you’re cute when you cringe.”
That made me laugh. “I doubt it. I wish I could see you too.”
He took a long beat before answering. “If I were to ask you out on a date, would you say yes?”
“I would.”
He hummed. “As much as I love my boy, I wish this was the week he was with his mother. We’re gonna have to wait until next week.”
“That will give you a whole week to work up the nerve to ask me.”
He chuckled, low and deep. “I like this side of you. You’re getting comfortable with me, aren’t you?”
“Am I? I don’t know.” Then I whispered, “I think maybe I am. You’re not running for the hills after I shared all…that.”
“No, nothing you said changed my feelings for you. Actually, that’s not true.
I’m even more curious and eager to know everything about you.
I want to know about your sister, and if she’s why you’re scared of hospitals.
I’d like to know what kind of books you want to fill your house with, and if you need more bookshelves for all of them.
And yeah, I’d like to talk to you about being a virgin, and where you want to go with me. ”
“Oh, that last one’s easy. I want to go all the way with you. Over and over.”
His groan was so deep and immediate, I didn’t have the chance to regret my blunt honesty. He liked it. And me.
I was truly beginning to believe it.
“I guess we should put a pin in that.” I was kicking my feet and grinning wide. “You know, until you actually ask me out on our first date.”
“Didn’t I do that?”
“No, I don’t think you did.”
“Hmmm. I should rectify that. The problem is, I’m not sure I can wait a week to see you.”
“That is a problem,” I agreed, tapping my thumbnail against my teeth.
“I’m having a thought…you wouldn’t happen to be planning to eat at the diner tomorrow night, would you?”
I caught on to where he was going and let out a mock gasp. “Funny you should mention it. I was thinking I might like to go out to dinner.”
“That is pretty damn funny.” I could practically hear the smile stretching across his face. “If you were to show up there—purely by chance, of course—it would be downright rude of me not to ask you to join Jesse and me.”
“It would be. Dreadfully rude,” I said solemnly, the corners of my mouth twitching. “It would probably be a serious breach of etiquette if we didn’t sit together.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
“So…hypothetically speaking…what time are you and Jesse coincidentally going to be there?”
“Oh, I’m not sure.” I could picture him leaning against his headboard, getting a kick out of teasing me. “If I had to guess, I’d say around six thirty.”
“It would be wild if I were to feel a sudden craving for a cheeseburger at six thirty tomorrow night.”
“Funny,” he said, his voice dipping low, “I’m craving one right now. Mostly though, I’m craving the company.”
That was it. My toes curled into the couch cushion, my face was warm, and my chest felt like it had been stuffed full of champagne bubbles. I was giddy, ridiculous, and maybe a little in over my head.
I loved it.
“So tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “You’re not trying to rush off the phone, are you?”
“Seems like I should quit while I’m ahead.”
“I disagree. I think you owe me.”
My brows shot up. “I do?”
“You do. Since you decided to ditch me, I’ve been reading on my own. You didn’t tell me book two was going to put me through the wringer.”
My smile grew so wide my cheeks ached. “I’m pretty sure I warned you it would be emotional.”
“Did you? I don’t recall that,” he shot back. “Now, you’ve got to let me read to you. Fair’s fair.”
My heart kicked. “You want to read to me?”
“I do. If I have to go through Fathaniel’s fuckups, I’m bringing you along with me.”
I laughed, settling deeper into the couch, and tugged a blanket over my lap. “All right then. I’m ready to get back on this journey with you and our bumbling hero.”
There was the rustle of pages, a low clearing of his throat, then his voice slid through the phone like molasses. I closed my eyes and let him take me through the story, his deep rumble filling every quiet space in my living room.
Somewhere in the middle of a paragraph, I realized I was happy. Genuinely, truly happy. And hopeful. I wanted this with him every night.
When he finished the chapter, there was a pause. “Are you still with me?”
“I am,” I said, tired but nowhere near ready for this to end. “I could listen to you all night.”
“If you’re not careful, I might take you up on that.”
Some time later, after Fathaniel had fallen for another one of Tarkarian the wizard’s tricks, I went to sleep with Caleb’s voice still in my ears and near certainty this wouldn’t be the last time.