4. Something sack-worthy
Chapter 4
Something sack-worthy
SHEP
W hat do you get the woman who has everything?
And by everything, I mean me.
She’s already wearing my ring, parenting with me, sleeping beside me each night, riding my cock at every available opportunity, and living with me—well, when we’re not bunking at Redleg cause of the fucking Bratva scum. Plus, she earned her way back to full duty well ahead of the timeline her doctors predicted. Kri’s kicking ass and taking names like the boss chick she’s always been.
What else could she need?
No, seriously. Please tell me. I have no fucking idea what to get her. And I’m out of time.
Still a dumb twat. Some things never change.
Fuck you, conscience. I don’t need your bullshit.
Don’t care. Didn’t ask. You’re a dumb twat.
I roll my eyes at my internal fuck-shit-dickhead bastard and keep scrolling frantically through the Amazon shopping app in the hope something miraculous will appear. It’s a fruitless endeavor, considering there’s no possibility of getting it shipped here in time.It’s Christmas Eve. The Redleg party is in three hours, and I’m supposed to have at least one gift for Kri and Val to put in Santa’s sack. Not sure Snickers are sack-worthy unless I can find one the size of my SUV.
Note: I meant sack as in the bag used to hold presents, not Santa’s nads.
Back to the problem. Getting a present for the hardest woman to shop for on the fucking planet.
Seriously, selecting a gift for Kri is next to impossible. Not to be cliché, but she’s not like other women. She isn’t into jewelry, makeup, or having her nails done. She doesn’t do massages or facials. Except for my special massages and my extra special facial. Wink, wink .Mundane shit like a spa basket, wine, or flowers are no-gos. Too frilly.
What else? Hobbies?
Well, she’s already got enough wood-carving supplies to build life-size Lincoln Log cabins for all Redleg employees and their future generations. In perpetuity. I might have gone overboard while she was finishing her recovery and stocked her up.
And she’s got plenty of workout gear since she spent the better half of the last year doing extreme amounts of PT and exercising. And she’s not into cooking or anything domestic, and I’d never be stupid enough to get her something along those lines. I’d rather live to see the new year, thank you very much.
My next thought was to get her some sexy stuff.
That was another big fat nope. She’s overflowing with lingerie and other freaky shit after Sue’s extended family—the Amos-holes—threw an unorthodox baby shower for Sue and Sammy. It was held at a swanky beachfront mansion, since some of them are billionaires.In addition to the standard baby shower activities, they also had one of those in-home parties where they sell adult toys and fetish wear.
Those Amos-holes are wild as fuck. I mean, who has a baby shower with sex toys?
They do, apparently.
Kri said the entire event was unreal. Not only the decorations and the games. They also had a band and a wait staff with a roaming buffet.
For a damn baby shower.
I would hate to see the extent they go to for a wedding shower.
Kri and I had quite a bit of fun after that little shindig, thanks to the assortment of toys she was gifted by the party hostess, Chloe.
But unfortunately, the haul she came home with decimated my naughty gift-giving potential. Add that to all the other shit I can’t get her, and I’m left with a whole lot of nothing.
I should’ve enlisted Sawyer’s shopping services. Same as every year, he offered to help everyone shop since that’s his deal. But I thought I had it under control and didn’t want to add to his plate with the twins coming. After all, I scored the perfect gift for Val in all of ten minutes on Cyber Monday. The quick success made me cocky. When nothing jumped out at me from online the rest of that day, I blew it off. I figured the perfect idea would hit me in plenty of time. So I ordered an industrial-sized barrel of mini-Snickers candy bars and called it a day. No big deal. I had plenty of time.
Or so I thought.
Day after day and week by week, nothing hit me. The pressure grew. Plus, I was more focused on the proposal, which I knew had to be during her RSFD final test. After the perfect ring and rehearsing what I’d say from down on one knee, I was tapped out creatively.
And now I’m stuck on Christmas Eve, considering purchasing her a fucking gift card. A digital one, no less. Unless I drop Kri, Val, and Junior off at Redleg and sneak out to find something.
But what? Right back to the same fucking problem I’ve had for weeks.
Give her an empty box so she has something to put the ring in when she returns it to you.
Not helping, you fake British piece of shit.
Speaking of Junior, he saunters toward the SUV with his head on a swivel. I’ve also been scanning for trouble in between bouts of doing the shopping version of doomscrolling.
This is a safe place, especially considering this gun range is crawling with law enforcement who come here for weapons certification. Normally, I’d go in with Val and help with her lessons, but I told Kri I’d split perimeter duty with Junior. Now that she’s back at full strength, I like giving her a chance to increase her confidence when I can. As protective as I am over them both, especially with the Lenkov threat hanging over our heads, I’m trying to show Kri I trust her fully.
From the parking lot.
Baby steps are still steps.
We still need to double up when away from HQ, so Junior’s been floating between the parking lot with me and the range with the ladies. Given the location, we’re good without extra backup.
Foolishly, I thought I could use the quiet time in the vehicle to unfuck myself from this gift nightmare. Or should I say lack-of-gift nightmare.
Fucking holidays.
And this is such a special one. It’s our first Christmas as a couple and parents. Not to mention that it’s Val’s first Christmas since her parents and aunt died.
I really wanted everything to be perfect. And I’m fucking it up.
When Junior gets to the SUV, I unlock the doors so he can slide in.“Any luck?”
A mangled groan of frustration rattles in the back of my throat. “Nope. I’m so fucked.”
He roughly squeezes my shoulder, giving me a shake. “You sure as hell are. Fucked hard without lube. You poor, pathetic bastard.”
Someone needs to knock this fucker down a peg.
And I’m just the someone to do it. It’s one of my many talents.
Just checking in, dumb twat. Is this talent better than your talent at gift-giving or worse? Where does it fit in your long list of expertise?
I hate my conscience.
Instead, I focus on Junior, the other shit disturber in my life. I pin him with a crooked glare. “Lube or not, at least I won’t be fucking my right hand like you.”
Boom . Take that, young buck.
His head rears back. “Shep, hate to break it to you, but I won’t be fucking your right hand either. Or the left hand.”
Ha ha ha. Take that, dumb twat.
“Damn. Walked right into that one.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Junior, what the fuck am I going to do? I only have...” With a flick of my wrist, I check my watch. “One hundred and seventy-one minutes until the party starts.”
He throws his face, contorting it comically. “You been doing Mathletes shit with Val when I’m not around? Who the fuck counts time like that?”
“A doomed man on the edge. A man who is hours away from screwing the pooch on the first gift-giving holiday with his new family.”
I aggressively swipe the shopping app closed and toss my phone into the console, sending a pen flying in the process. My forehead lowers to the top of the steering wheel as I rack my brain.
Rack somewhere else. Nothing up here with me other than cobwebs . Oh and there’s a tumbleweed.
All traces of Junior’s cocky bravado fade as he consoles me. “It’s fine, Shep. Kri doesn’t seem like the materialistic type, unlike your minor ward in there.” A look of annoyance flashes across his face, but before I can jump on it, he keeps on. “Anything you get Kri will be fine. We’ll drop them off at HQ and hit the mall. I’m sure we can find something and be back in an hour. Plenty of time to get dressed for the party. No one will ever know you’re having an existential crisis over this.”
I squint at him through one eye, trying to gauge if he’s about to fuck with me some more. I wouldn’t blame him if he had a punchline in the hopper.
But he seems genuine. I can only presume he realizes how fucking stressed I am over this and wants to help.
Time to man up. I got this.
Shaking off my gloom and doom, I spring off the steering wheel. “You’re right. I have plenty of time. We’ll drop off the girls at HQ, where they’re safe. Then we’ll hit the mall. An hour tops. In and out. No problem.”
“That’s more like it.” He winks, nods his chin at me, then faces the windshield. “I need to buy a last-minute gift while we’re there too. Forgot someone.”
I hold out my fist for a bump, which he returns.
Something he said rattles around inside my skull with the tumbleweed, and it makes me a tad defensive of one of my girls. “Junior, stop trashing Val like that. You know she isn’t materialistic. Why are you always on her case? I mean, I love busting chops too. Just take it easy on her, huh? She’s had a rough year.”
“I know she has.” Head down, he picks at his pant leg. “Shep, she needs somewhere to direct her hate. Better it be me than someone who would mean her harm in return.”
Silence falls while I process his unexpected, insightful words.
He might be right.
After shaking free of the heavy thoughts, I announce, “Stay here. I’ll go get the girls.”
I bound from the vehicle, scan the parking lot, and speed walk toward the entrance. Now that the air of hopelessness about Kri’s gift has lifted, I’m itching to be with my girls again. As I sling open the front door, the jingle bells on the handle clank and clang.
The man working the counter waves an open palm at me. “Hey there, Shep. Happy holidays. I was wondering where you were. Not like you to leave the girls alone.”
“Hey, Denny. I was in the parking lot. Kri and Junior have things under control in here.”
“No shortage of muscle when it comes to Miss Franco.”
“Can you blame us?”
Denny’s former law enforcement, and he’s heard the tale of what happened to Val, her family, and everything that followed.
“Not one bit.” He ambles to the side of the counter where we’d normally sign-in, eyeing me expectantly. “I assume you brought your weapon. We’ve got about half an hour before closing if you want to get some rounds in. Lane three is open.”
“Not this time. Just gathering them up. Holiday party tonight.”
He smiles, tipping his head toward the door leading to the indoor range. As I pass, he hands me a plastic bag with foam ear plugs.
I approach the door, about to open the bag, when I catch sight of Val and Kri heading toward me.
When my beautiful fiancée opens the door, the noise from the other shooters echoes into the lobby. Valerie flinches with each loud pop.
I see that problem isn’t resolved yet. More work to do.
Kri’s face morphs into a saucy grin when she notices me. “Perfect timing.”
After flashing her a wink, I catch Val’s attention, noting one last flinch before the door to the range closes completely, muting the sound. “You good, kid?”
She attempts to smile, but it’s fake as shit. “Yep.”
The skin between my brows pinches. “That wasn’t very convincing, Val. What’s wrong?”
She inhales deeply, almost making a concentrated effort. As if the air around her is scarce. “I’m okay, OG. Just a headache from the noise.”
“OG?” I ask, not having heard that one from her before. “Like the original?”
“No. Not that, silly.” Val cups my cheek, her hand coated in condescension. “Old geezer.”
Not even waiting for my reaction, she turns away, heading to the counter to sign out.
I trade questioning glances with Kri.
Reading my expression, she mouths, Tell you later .
I press my lips tightly together and reply with only a sharp nod. My gaze falls to Val’s back as she says goodbye to Denny.
Poor kid. Holidays are rough after a loss. I hate this for her.
Yet she was fine this morning. It started like a typical day at Redleg HQ, our temporary home away from home. She was excited about the party and showed off her costume to Kri and me.
For a moment, I thought our fears regarding the first Christmas without her family would go unfounded. Asking for a trip to the range—one of the few places we can go without making a big security splash—was the first sign she was getting the holiday blues, or whatever you want to call it.
Kri and I have noticed Val has certain triggers involving her parents. And when they occur, she starts clinging to any glimpse of safety she can find. Especially around days that she would normally have spent with her family.
Her mother’s birthday was the first time she asked if we’d teach her how to shoot. The morning after her sixteenth birthday, she sat us down and asked to review every single security procedure we have in place. She wanted to know about our training, weapons, tech, tracking, and requested time with Klein and Tomer to review IT security. Then she peppered us with questions about protocol we’ve had for other clients. Kri got the feeling Val was inquiring because she wanted to green-light us to kick things up a notch if we could. As if to say she’d no longer stand in the way.
Sure, she played it off like she was curious and eager to learn. But Kri and I saw through it.
Val’s terrified. Even if she doesn’t know it.
And she’s damn tired of feeling powerless.
Each holiday or event seems to drag up those feelings, floating them right to the surface.
Perhaps I’ve spent the last hour worried about all the wrong things.
First smart thought you’ve had all day, you wanker.
When you’re right, you’re right, conscience.