Ho Ho Oh No (Redleg Security)

5. New phone. Who dis?

Chapter 5

New phone. Who dis?

VAL

F uck Trevor “Junior” Donoghue.

Not very holiday spirit of me, is it? Probably not the vibe you’d expect on Christmas Eve.

Well, tough shit. I don’t care about the day, the time of year, or the reason for the season.

Junior can Fa La La La the fuck rightout of my life.

He’s more jerk-off than jingle bells. More snake than Santa.

I have no time for fake friends. My life is going places.

The great Taylor Swift, arguably the secular Mother Teresa of my generation, said it best when she said, “If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing.”

And I owe Junior absolutely nothing.