26. Cleaning house
26
CLEANING HOUSE
Hayden
Goddamn Cara! I was sick of her coming in and messing up everyone’s lives. To hell with it. She had to go. For me, for Maiden, for Solly, and whoever else was caught up in her twisted shit.
As I slammed the front door and threw my keys on the table, she came drifting into the lounge in her silk gown like some kind of sexy ghost, accessorized with a martini in her hand.
“Oh, well, hey there, Hay-Ray.”
I scowled back at her.
“Cara, I need you to get your annoying ass out of here.”
“Aw, you used to like my annoying ass Hay Ray,” she pouted back at me with a soft, seductive lisp.
Jesus . She thought she could seduce her way out of anything. Not that she was wrong, exactly. There’d been enough times when I was completely done with her and she had lured me into bed. That spell had gone a long time ago, though. Now she’d lost that power over me, she just threatened me with losing Maiden, or the house, or creating one of her tornados of gossip. It didn’t matter to her if any of it was true or not. As long as she got what she wanted, and I was just another worm on her hook.
“I’m not kidding Cara.”
Her expression shifted to one that said she was bored with this and wasn’t interested in playing this game. “Oh, don’t be so serious Hayden. I’ll be out of your hair in a day or two.”
“No,” I told her, defiantly.
In return, she laughed at me, making me even more angry.
“Hay-Ray, here’s the thing,” she slinked up to me and put her fingertips on my chest, looking up into my eyes. “You’re a fucking coward.”
I stared back at her, gritting my teeth, deciding whether or not to just pick her up and throw her out through the window.
“It’s been seven years since I walked out on you. Aside from Maiden, and whatever’s going on with that Joyce woman, I’m still the only person you can feel anything for. You know why?”
My eyes thinned in simmering contempt at that awful woman. Her eyes were shining back at me, enjoying inflicting her little piece of torture on me. “Because the big scary hellraiser is just a scared little boy.”
“Get out!” I yelled, pointing to the door, but she just kept looking at me with the acrid smell of vodka on her breath.
“Look. I’m selfish and mean and I get what I want, Hayden, but at least I’m honest about it. You’re hiding in this little fortress you’ve built, telling everyone you’re protecting your kid, but really you’re trapped in here with no one but yourself. ”
I sighed wearily. I didn’t need a lecture from Cara, of all people. She knew exactly what to say to twist the knife deep into you. Perhaps in some ways, she was right, though.
“All that bravado and you can’t even be brave enough to let anyone near you. Like that teacher you seem so obsessed with.” I blushed and gave her a dirty look. She really knew how to get under my skin, but how did she know about Sarah?
“Oh Hay-Ray, look at you,” she started playing with my collar, like a fussy mother. “Take some advice, even though you don’t want it. Let yourself be happy.”
Then, unexpectedly, Cara put her arms around me and hugged me. For once, it didn’t seem like a ploy, but an actual real human interaction. Not that you could tell either way with Cara.
She spoke softly into my chest, “Show Maiden what that is. What letting someone in can be like. It’s better than hiding him and you away in here. He needs to know Hayden. I can’t be his mother. I don’t have it in me, and you can’t know how much that hurts. Seeing you being all dad-like, and knowing I don’t have that in me. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve it.”
“You still need to leave Cara.”
“Tomorrow. After the ball.” She said, putting her head on my chest and tapping my shoulders as I sighed. “One last night and then I’m gone.”