Chapter 13
Hodge
I regret telling her. I regret spilling my fucking guts to Kemah because she barely knows me, and I barely know her.
Is it enough that someone came back for you?
Someone didn’t let you lie there alone? Is that enough to truly know someone’s heart?
Maybe I’m just so fucked in the head that I want to believe that shit.
But I won’t let myself believe that shit.
I’m going to do what I said I would do and find out what the hell is going on with her.
I’m going to make shit right, and then I’m going to end that little piece of shit boyfriend of hers because that’s something I can do right.
“Can we talk?” Kemah asks.
“No.”
“Hodge, you can’t keep avoiding me.”
“When you want to tell me more about that bastard of a boyfriend, we’ll talk,” I tell her as I tip my beer to my lips.
“What you said …”
“Meant nothin’. Let’s leave it at that.”
“It meant … it meant everything,” she argues. I turn my head to look over at her before shaking it.
“No. You wanted an answer and I gave it to you,” I remind her.
“That isn’t fair.”
“Neither is life.”
“You can’t keep doing this to me. It’s been months, Hodge.”
“Months of you keepin’ your little secrets after I told you mine. You wanna talk about fair, Kemah? How fuckin’ fair is that shit?” I snap at her. My dad walks over and stands next to her, looking between us.
“Somethin’ I need to know?” he asks.
“Nope.”
“He’s being an ass and avoiding me. You know what? He’s the one who made me stay here, and now he’s fucking ignoring me! Fuck this. I’m leaving,” she snaps this time. I chuckle under my breath as she storms toward the door.
“You goin’ after her?” he asks.
“No.”
“What the fuck, Hodge? You drag that girl in here. You made her stay, and now you’re lettin’ her walk?”
“Looks that way, doesn’t it?” I ask, taking down the rest of my beer before grabbing another. My dad doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing before walking away, only to have my sister take his place.
“You fucked her.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did. You let her leave, Hodge.”
“I didn’t fuck her, Kiki. I told you I’d tell you when I fuck someone,” I remind her.
“Then why is she leaving? Aren’t you the one who made her stay?”
“Why is everyone on my ass today? Can’t anyone worry about somethin’ that doesn’t have to do with me and who the hell I’m fuckin’?” I roar at her. She snorts a laugh and shakes her head.
“Damn, she’s gotten under your skin, huh?”
“Just tryin’ to help her is all.”
“Sure. If that’s what you’re telling yourself, I’ll go with it.
But don’t forget she has enemies out there, Hodge.
Someone put her in that van to be shipped off.
Keep that in mind.” Kiki always knows more about club business than she should.
She’s nosey as fuck and doesn’t back down when she wants her way.
I shake my head as she stands and leaves me sitting with my beer. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t let her leave. But what’s the fucking point in making her stay if she won’t tell me anything helpful? Aggravation is hell, and that’s exactly what I’m feeling right now.
What if I let her go? What if I just let her leave and do her own thing? She could figure things out on her own. She’s an adult, for fuck’s sake.
I grab my bottle and stand from the stool, heading for the door.
When I step outside, I see Kiki and Tianna talking to Kemah across the parking lot.
I want to go over there, but I don’t. Instead, I bring the beer to my lips and watch as all three girls turn to look at me.
Kemah’s eyes are full of anger and pain that I probably put there.
It’s not really my fault but it is. I knew I should keep my distance from her, but I didn’t.
Instead, I thought I could save the fucking day with that girl.
I keep drinking when I see Kemah’s head drop forward. Fuck! I toss my bottle to the side and stroll over as the other two walk past me, eyeing me like I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world. And I probably am.
“Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’m not good at this shit, Kemah.”
“And you think I am? I’ve had my life ripped out from under me, Hodge.”
“What was your life?” I ask her. Now I see the sadness in her eyes. It wasn’t a good life. Not judging by the look in her eyes right now.
“Does it matter?”
“It does to me.”
“Why?”
“It just does, Kemah. Talk to me.” She shifts on her feet before reaching up and brushing her hair away from her face.
“It wasn’t a good life. It wasn’t actually horrible either. My parents didn’t want me. I’m not sure why they gave me to Jake.” I raise my hand to stop her there.
“What? Gave you to Jake?” She nods her head slowly before looking me in the eye.
“Yeah. Gave me to Jake. They have some sort of agreement, from what I understand. I don’t know what it is.”
“An agreement? That involves you?” She nods her head, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn’t know what that agreement is.
“That’s all I know,” she says softly.
“That doesn’t make sense. How old are you?”
“Twenty-nine. But there is a trust that’s in my name from my grandparents that I can’t get until I’m thirty.”
“You think that’s what this is about?” She shrugs.
“I don’t know, honestly. I don’t really care. I just want the money so I can get the hell out of here,” she adds. Fuck, this is more complicated than I originally thought it was.
“So you stuck around for the money?”
“I stuck around because I didn’t have a choice. Whatever the arrangement was with my dad, they meant business. They made sure I stayed in line.”
“How?”
“What do you mean, how?”
“How’d they keep you in line?” She drags her gaze away from mine, and I reach up, cupping her cheek so she has to look back at me. “How, Kemah?”
“By any means they saw fit.”