Chapter Twenty-Three
Carrie
Ten minutes later, Jeremy was gone, and I fell back on the couch, feeling numb. Ash and Grayson were in the kitchen now, discussing something in low tones.
The last week was a whirlwind, and my mind was struggling to keep up with it all.
A chill swept down my spine then, and goosebumps followed in its cool path, spreading over my skin like an infection. Slowly, I looked up over to the sliding glass doors leading out to Grayson’s balcony. The sky was gray today, light flurries tumbling down from the heavens at their own pace, adding to the snow already covering the ground—including the concrete floor of the balcony. Fear coiled around my neck, just like it had a thousand times before, ready to command me, to control me as my eyes focused on the deep red blood dripping into the snow.
I lifted my eyes, and there he was, glaring at me, blood trickling from his soaked hair, a snarl painted on his face, his teeth stained red.
Robert.
My heart pounded like a war drum, and I wanted to move, but I was frozen. Ghost Robert tilted his head to the side slowly, evil seeping from him as the goosebumps on my skin intensified.
Robert was the St. Louis River Killer.
Suddenly, the nightmare I’d had a few nights ago after being saved by Mags was back in the front of my mind, replayed in my head. The skin at my neck tingled, my body remembering as the room around me disappeared, transforming into my old bedroom, Robert standing a few feet in front of me. In his bloody hand was his cell phone, and I’d heard shouting on the line, a woman crying out his name, begging him to stop the madness.
My eyes snapped up to Robert’s, but he only smiled.
“Carrie?”
I jolted, squeezing my eyes shut and dropping my head.
That wasn’t a nightmare. That was a memory. Robert had just finished killing someone, and I came home early. My stomach twisted, the urge to vomit manifesting once more.
Robert wasn’t just a monster to me; he was a monster to others, innocent people—with families. I pushed both of my hands into my hair, not giving a shit about the tangles, and took a few deep breaths. I couldn’t think about that now. Later, when all this was over and Brandon was taken care of, I would reach out to the families of the victims. I would apologize, I would…
What could I do?
What power did I even have?
I had been his wife, after all. What good was my apology going to be?
“Hey, Carrie? Are you alright?”
I looked up at Jake, his eyes soft behind his glasses, his brows pinched together. I shoved it back. Now wasn’t the time. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just…a lot.”
He said nothing, giving me a small smile, the gesture saying more than words could. We both knew I wasn't alright, but he wasn’t going to push it, and for that, I was grateful. I barely knew any of Grayson’s team, but they were good men, every single one of them. I returned the smile and bent my head again, shaking my curls out and removing my hands as I exhaled deeply. “Jeremy coming here was unexpected and doing what I just did was…harder than I thought it was going to be.”
I saw Jake’s shoes move and then felt the other end of the couch shift as he took a seat. My hands fell from my hair, and I sat up, looking at him as he said, “When I was sixteen, I had to close a door in my life. It’s never easy, no matter what age you are.”
I nodded.
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, rubbing his palms together slowly as he focused on Grayson’s black coffee table, a few auburn strays hanging down from his bun, his jaw moving underneath his beard. “My family, the one I was born into, weren’t good people—hell, they weren’t even decent people.”
I could relate to that.
“My father wasn’t a good man,” he confessed, finally looking at me. “He was a monster too.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, suddenly seeing him in a new light. I would’ve never guessed Jake came from a bad home with the way he carried himself. Some people were just better at hiding it, I supposed.
Jake waved it off. “I’m telling you all of that to say this: what you just did—shutting that door to your old life—was one of the bravest and strongest things I’ve ever seen anyone do, Carrie.”
My face softened, his words striking a chord within my soul.
“And I was fucking glad I got to witness it, because now I know…” He trailed off, looking behind me to where Grayson and Ash were standing in the kitchen, admiration lingering in his eyes.
“What?” I pressed. “What do you know?”
Jake’s eyes met mine again. “Now I know Grayson is going to be okay.”
I was taken aback, but before I could respond, Ash called out, “Yo, Jake! You ready to roll?”
Jake stood, gave me another smile, and whispered, “I’m proud of you.”
Then, they were both gone, leaving Grayson and me alone. Swallowing the fear that threatened to rock me back into the past, I looked out to the balcony again, and my shoulders sagged.
Ghost Robert was gone.
I guess he was done torturing me today.
I looked back to Grayson, wondering if he would think I was crazy if I told him my dead serial killer ex husband’s ghost had been following me around since I escaped that shitty motel room.
Slowly, with that thought in mind, I rose from my place on the couch and turned to the kitchen, watching my bounty hunter as he typed away on his laptop, a shadow hanging over his face, his jagged scar standing out in the cool, dim light. I took a step forward and heard Jake’s words ringing in my head.
Now I know that Grayson is going to be okay.
My eyes focused on my lover’s scar, remembering the story of him being tortured. Studying his profile, my eyes trailed down the length of damaged skin until it reached the collar of his shirt and then back up to focus on the way his mouth was set, the crease in his brow, and the anger in his eyes, illuminated by the computer screen.
Was Grayson not okay?
I remained where I was, watching him as he worked for some time, and with each passing second, the more worried I became. My voice was unsure when I finally called out for him. “Grayson?”
“Yeah, Sunshine?” he replied almost instantly, not taking his eyes off his screen.
I twisted my fingers together. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to find Brandon,” he answered simply.
This man. This dark, broken, gentle man, always working to keep me safe.
I made an attempt to clear my throat before stumbling over my next question. “I-is there a reason you haven’t looked at me since Jeremy left?”
He didn’t answer.
Then, after a few moments, those dark, haunting eyes landed on me, and just like the first time I’d met him, I couldn’t move. My lips parted as my hands fell away from each other, going back to my sides, my heart skipping a beat. Goosebumps scattered all over my skin as he held me in place with his stare, his chest rising and falling slowly.
The sun had begun to set, and the apartment was mostly covered in shadows, both of us lost within them.
“Grayson?”
He said nothing, staring at me from the shadows. I took a tentative step forward, heart thundering in my ears as my body hummed with need. He was looking at me like he had the night he kissed me for the first time—like he wanted to devour me. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he said, his voice laced with heat. He moved then, rounding the kitchen island, his work forgotten, those dark, endless eyes on me and me alone. “You also have no idea what you just did.”
“W-what?” I stammered, my breath hitching.
“Supposed to be focused, baby,” he murmured roughly. “We need to have a conversation, but I can’t focus on that right now. You know why?”
“Grayson—”
“—you told Jeremy I was the love of your life,” he clipped, the harshness in his voice chilling me to the bone.
“Yes,” I breathed.
“You told him that we—that I—was your family now,” he continued, his voice hard, vibrating with emotion.
I nodded, chest heaving as I took a step forward. “Yes.”
Silence fell between us, the only sounds our harsh breaths, but I could hardly hear his. My heart was pounding in my ears like a mighty drum, building up to a crescendo. His eyes left my face, trailing down my body, pausing at the swell of my chest, and my nipples hardened underneath the sweatshirt. My lips parted, and I began to pant as his eyes continued their way down, stopping at my belly, then my hips before going down my legs to my fuzzy sock-covered feet.
Grayson’s face twisted then, guilt and pain taking over. “You will never know the guilt— the utter agony I feel —for not getting to you sooner.”
His words struck me, and I turned my head. “Grayson—”
“You’re the fucking love of my life too, beautiful,” he growled, surging forward. Before I knew it, I was in his arms, one of his hands in my hair as the other banded around my waist tightly, holding me against his warm, hard body as his mouth came down onto mine.
This wasn’t just a kiss—-it was a confession, a prayer.
I gasped into his mouth as he forced it open, his tongue plunging inside, drinking from me. My hands fisted his shirt, holding onto him for dear life as he spun us, groaning my name against my lips as he walked me backward, not stopping until my ass was against the island. The hand in my hair slithered to my front, his rough skin trailing over my ear and jaw before dropping down to my neck, holding me in place as he ravaged my mouth, tilting his head to the side.
My teeth scraped against his, both of us fighting for control, drunk on each other’s taste. “Grayson,” I whimpered just as his hand tightened around my throat, his other coming around to my front, diving into my leggings. He said nothing, only grunting as he pulled my underwear to the side before sinking a finger into me. I was already soaked, had been from the moment he looked at me.
My body was his, and no other man would ever make me feel like this. I cried out into his mouth, my hands snapping up to his shoulders as he continued to kiss me. He took my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it for a moment as he moved his finger in and out of me slowly, teasing me.
When he released my lip, he moved, diving down, kissing my cheek, my chin, my jaw before getting to my neck, his hand shifting to the back of it, forcing me to arch. My body ignited as his scorching kisses landed on my sensitive skin. I gasped his name, moving my hips in time with his finger, my clit humming, pulsing with need.
“Grayson,” I moaned. “Grayson, touch me.”
He chuckled darkly, and then I felt his teeth graze against my skin, teasing me as his finger pumped in and out at a steady pace. “Got a finger buried in your pussy. That is touching you.”
I leaned back, whimpering as my eyes met his wild ones. “That’s not what I mean.”
A wicked smile stretched across his face then, making him look even more feral. I only got a glimpse of it before he dove back to my neck, “Say the words, Sunshine.” He pulled out his finger, moving it up close to my clit. I could feel the heat of it, my core slick with arousal. “You want me to touch you here?”
I nodded, bracing for the pleasure that would come when he did.
He didn’t.
Instead, he shoved two more fingers inside me, stretching me. I moaned, my eyes rolling back, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. “Please,” I rasped, my voice shaking.
I felt his tongue then, dragging up to my ear, teasing the outer shell. Zaps of pleasure shot through my body, to my aching nipples and down to the bundle of nerves he refused to touch. His breath was hot and harsh against my ear. “The love of your life wants to hear you say the filthy fucking words ,” he growled, his hand moving faster now, my walls fluttering around his fingers as sloppy sounds filled the air around us.
I stuttered, gasping as my nails dug into his shoulders, my hips moving faster, my body chasing the release it was so desperate for.
Grayson clicked his tongue. “You don’t get what you want until I do, baby.”
“Please,” I begged.
His grip on the back of my neck tightened. “Say the words.”
I gave in. “I want you to touch my clit,” I whispered, my voice shaking.
Grayson groaned, pulling his fingers from me, slowly dragging them up to my clit. “Are you my filthy girl?” A raw sound left me as his wet finger brushed over the sensitive bundle once, then twice with a feather-like touch. “Are you my needy girl?” he rumbled, his voice low.
“Y-yes, God, yes!” I cried out as he gave me what I wanted, rubbing in circles now. Pleasure exploded throughout my lower body, my legs going weak as my climax hit me immediately. My body arched as more screams left me, and Grayson rose to his full height, taking it all in as he manipulated my clit, making me see stars.
“That’s it, Sunshine,” he cooed, praising me as I thrashed, my eyes rolling back.
Before I knew what was happening, my pants were shoved down to my ankles, and I held Grayson’s eyes as he ripped my underwear from my body, the sound of the fabric shredding causing me to let out a small moan. That moan turned into a yelp as he cupped me underneath my ass and lifted me, placing me on the island and forcing my knees open. Then, my sweatshirt was gone, and he reached around, flicking my bra open with ease before pulling it from my skin. I was completely and utterly exposed to him now.
“Put your hands on your knees and hold your legs open,” he clipped as he took a step back, his eyes scanning my body.
I did as he commanded, my body ready for more.
Grayson’s massive chest heaved as he stared at my core, hunger flashing in his eyes. “Prettiest little cunt,” he muttered, his voice low. “Brings a man to his fucking knees.”
That was exactly what he did.
He dropped down to his knees, his hands slithering under and over my thighs, holding them wide, his face level with my pussy. I whimpered at the sight, my clit pulsing again, needing him—his touch, his tongue. “Grayson,” I rasped.
Those dark eyes snapped up to meet mine over my belly, my breasts spread. I was exposed, curled up in way that should’ve made me cringe, but I’d never felt more beautiful. My eyes stung with tears before I could stop them, my heart racing. He tilted his head to the side, his beard brushing over my lips. “What is it?” he asked. “Why do I see tears in your eyes?”
My answer was quiet, my voice thick. “I’ve never felt more beautiful in my entire life.”
Grayson’s nostrils flared, and then he dove in, a low growl coming from his throat as he dragged his tongue up my slit. My back arched as my fingers weaved through his hair, and I cried out his name, the sound of it bouncing off his colorless walls. He kept at me, licking, sucking, and eating me until my body was shaking, needing a release. His fingers dug into my skin, low groans coming from him as he drank from my core, his eyes closed. He was lost in this just as much as I was.
I whispered his name again, my breath hitching as the tip of his tongue flicked lightly against my clit, the coarse hair of his beard rubbing against the rest of me.
“Carrie,” he grunted against me in return.
My eyes rolled back. “I’m going to—I’m going to—”
“Give me that beauty, Sunshine,” he murmured just as he latched on again, and I was flying. My mouth fell open on a silent scream as I fell back onto the granite, my body thrashing against his face, chasing the pleasure while trying to run from it. But he held my hips down, growling as he continued to eat me like it was the first time, not stopping until I was crying out his name, pleading for mercy.
I lost myself in the pleasure, dots covering my vision as my heart pounded.
Minutes or hours later, I didn’t know, I felt the head of his cock against my entrance, his big, rough hands now pushing my thighs wide. I blinked, looking up at his dark, shadowed figure, my chest heaving. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he confessed, his voice rough and thick. He snapped his hips, his cock entering me in the most delicious way, stretching me until I was full of nothing but him.
My Grayson.
“The first time I fucking saw you, I knew I was fucked,” he continued, grunting as he pulled out, holding himself still for a second. “My heart belonged to you then; I just didn’t want to admit it.” He slammed back inside as his words pierced my heart.
Then, he fucked me, our skin slapping together as I held his eyes in the shadows, seeing how bright his soul truly was underneath all of his darkness.
When we both reached our peaks together, our cries and grunts were the most beautiful ‘I love you's’ I’d ever heard.