34. Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-four
Deacon
Roadwork wasn’t my true calling, but after years of seeing the same walls every damn day, I didn’t mind all the driving. I hadn’t been to a lot of places, but I was pretty sure there was nowhere prettier than Wyoming. Even where there was nothing but golden grass and rocks jutting out of the earth at random, it never failed to blow me away.
I’d been moved to a new crew, doing road inspection and maintenance on the route to Casper. Chris’s crew was out toward Cheyenne, so we weren’t sharing lunch breaks for the time being. Instead, I sat in my truck, ate my sandwich, and listened to a podcast Phoebe had recommended. She’d gotten me as hooked on true crime as she was, so I was catching up on all the episodes she’d already listened to.
A phone call came through, interrupting. That would have annoyed me, but it was worse seeing the name on the screen. Richie.
He’d sent me a couple texts over the last month or so. I’d been able to beg off seeing him, but this was my brother. He wouldn’t be deterred forever.
I picked up before the call cut off.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself,” he greeted. “Thought maybe you got locked back up you went so damn radio silent.”
“Don’t have much to say, Rich. I’m working a lot, sleeping when I’m not.”
His chuckle was raspy from all the chain-smoking he did. “Aren’t you out of prison? Why the hell are you living like a monk, man? It’s not like you have Hailey under your feet anymore.”
“I’m not looking for trouble. I work, sleep, and don't find trouble. And you know I never minded having Hailey around.”
“Yeah, you never did.” He whistles through the line. “She’s got a nice family now, and you’re young and free. Why don’t we meet up in Laramie? I know you weren’t into the last girl I brought you, but Jennifer’s got plenty of friends—”
“I’m not interested, Rich.” I kept all emotion out of my response. If he caught anything in my tone, he’d latch onto it. I was aiming to bore him enough he’d lose interest and move on.
“All right, all right. How about you and I get together? I’m into something big, and you’re going to want to hear about it. It’s—shit, where did you say that construction job is?”
“I’m on the road. It’s always changing. Lately, I've been out in Natrona County.”
“Oh yeah? You do a lot of driving, right?”
Uneasiness swamped my gut. “I have to drive to inspect roads,” I answered carefully.
“Makes sense. Chris’s old man make you drive your own vehicle?”
I didn’t like his interest, and I had no clue what his angle was. And this was Richie. He always had an angle. “We’ve got company trucks.”
“Hmmm.” He paused, and I braced. Instead of pressing me more, he moved on. “I guess you gave up building furniture, huh?”
“Nope. I’m still doing that.”
“Good, good. You always were talented.”
My suspicions skyrocketed. Richie did not give out compliments unless he was trying to get something. I couldn’t guess what he’d think he could get out of me, and I didn’t want to find out. I’d had a lot at stake before, and I’d lost it. Now, I had even more on the line.
I did not make the same mistake twice.
“Appreciate it,” I replied, neutral.
When I didn’t give him anything else, he sighed. “Look, I should’ve said this a long time ago, but I’m sorry. You got dragged into my thing back then and took the fall. If Hailey’d toed the line like she should’ve, you wouldn’t have served time, but that’s all done and over with. Point is, I regret you went down for my shit, and I’d like to make it right. I’ve only got one brother, you know? Same as you.”
Oh yeah, there it was. This was his apology tour. He’d aim to get back with me then pull me into whatever scheme he had going on. I’d tried to help him out more times than I could count. The last time, I lost four years of my life. Fortunately, I’d wised up. Some people did not want to be helped, and Richie was the captain of that team.
“Appreciate that too, Rich. The thing is, I’m on parole. One screwup, they throw me back in, and I’m not going back.”
“All right, all right.” I could picture him nodding like he agreed with me. “That makes sense, man. Like I said, I just want my brother back. You don’t need to have anything to do with my side interests.”
“Gotta stay clean,” I stated. “That’s how it has to be.”
He grunted. “And I’m not clean?”
“You know you’re not. I can’t let any of that touch me. I go back inside; I’m not gonna make it out again.”
I might walk out the doors, but I’d never be the same. I’d lost a piece of myself the first time; I couldn’t afford to lose more.
That earned me a scoff. “Come on. I know plenty of guys who spent time inside. None of them came out being a drama queen.”
“That’s them. Me and prison didn’t mix well. I’m not going back.”
“No one’s sending you back,” he argued. “I’m just trying to hang out with my brother.”
I didn’t raise my voice, but I answered him as firmly as I could. “And I’m declining.”
If I hadn't heard him shuffling and noise in the background, I would’ve thought he’d hung up. Finally, he spoke, and I wished he hadn’t.
“All right, Deke. Your life. Maybe I’ll see you around SB. I should really stop by Joy’s. I haven’t seen our dear aunt in years. A visit is overdue.”
The threat was clear. It was how he’d hooked me weeks ago. This time, I wasn’t going to bite. If I did, he’d keep coming back. It was past time for me to put my foot down.
“You do that, you’ll see the kind of welcome Joy’ll give you,” I warned.
After a beat, Richie let out a maniacal laugh. “Oooh, I’m shaking in my boots. Joy’s so, so scary.” He kept right on laughing at himself. “Really, Deke, prison made you way less cool. Like, I don’t even want to hang out with you at this point.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. Don’t come running to me when you’re hard up for cash. You’re clean now, so what the hell could you want with me?”
I cleared my throat. “My lunch break’s over. I need to get back on the road. Good luck, Rich.”
“Sure thing, Deke. Sure goddamn thing.”
I tossed my phone aside and sat in the silent cab of the truck, my head hanging in my hands. When did I get to move on?
I already knew that answer. Richie would keep grabbing at me until he got bored with me, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
I walked into Sugar Rush a few minutes before closing, unsurprised to see Hannah Kelly there. She was a regular fixture, guarding her sister like a pit bull. She was unsure of me, but given her history with my brother, her wariness made sense. Still, I liked her.
Phoebe had a spine of steel but a soft heart. Left to her own devices, she’d probably let her customers linger all night, but Hannah charged in and got rid of them in minutes. Anyone who protected Phoebe that fiercely was more than all right in my book.
“Deke,” Hannah cried, hopping up from the table she’d been sitting at drinking some kind of iced coffee. “You’re here.” She charged toward me.
I stopped short at her enthusiastic greeting. This surprised me. “I am.”
From behind the counter, Phoebe called out to me. “Look at Hannah’s ring, Deacon. Isn’t it beautiful?”
Hannah was already in front of me, flashing her left hand. A silver band with a square emerald caught the light as she wiggled her fingers.
“You’re looking at a fiancée, Deke.” She beamed, sharing her happiness. “Remi proposed last night. What do you think?”
She shoved her hand closer, and I took it, tilting it left and right. I didn’t know a damn thing about jewelry, but I knew she wanted me to be excited with her.
I looked up and smiled. “Congratulations. The ring’s really pretty. Suits you.”
“Doesn’t it?” She took her hand back to gaze at her ring and sighed. “I didn’t think I was a ring girl, but apparently I am.”
Phoebe approached then, wiping her hands on her frilly pink apron. When she reached me, she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine.
“Hey, honey,” she said softly.
“Sugar.” I smoothed a hand down her shoulder and around her waist, pulling her a little closer. “Looks like it’s been a good day.”
“It has.” She slung her arm around Hannah’s shoulders and gave her a playful shake. “My sister’s getting married. How can it be a bad day?”
“Can’t be,” I agreed.
While Phoebe finished up, Hannah made me sit with her so she could tell me about the proposal. We’d never been friends back in the day and had barely spoken, yet she spoke to me like we had been. Before Phoebe, I wouldn’t have known how to handle this kind of openness, but I’d learned when it came to the Kelly women, going along for the ride was the only choice.
All Hannah needed from me was to listen and nod at the right moments of her story and she was happy. She even gave me a one-armed, bone-crushing hug before she took off.
The one she gave Phoebe was full-bodied and looked just as bone-crushing, but my girl took it like she was used to it.
On the way home, Phoebe held my hand tight. I studied her as we talked, trying to get a read on her feelings. It was clear she was happy, but there was something else I couldn’t grasp.
“This guy, Remi, he’s good to Hannah?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, he is.” She bumped her head against my shoulder. “When I was growing up, he was like the fifth kid in our house—always over for meals and spent most weekends on the ranch. He lost his mom when he was young, and his dad was dealing with demons too big to make him a good father, so my parents filled in all the gaps they could. Now, he’s going to be an official member of our family by marrying Hannah, who he pretty much worships. So, yeah, I’m pretty damn pleased.”
“You’ve got some good parents, Phoebe.”
“Luck of the draw,” she said.
“Luckier than most.”
“Yeah, I am,” she murmured, bringing our joined hands to her lips to kiss my knuckles. “They’re going to have a little engagement dinner on Saturday at my grandparents’ house. I’d love for you to come with me.”
This was a bridge we hadn’t crossed yet. I’d met most of her family, one on one, but never in any official capacity. For the past couple weeks, I’d found excuses to skip their Sunday dinners, and she hadn’t pushed. I didn’t quite know how to handle being around a family like the Kellys.
Deep down, I knew exactly what was holding me back. I was afraid they’d see us together and know Phoebe and I didn’t fit. That wasn’t fair to them, but that was where I was, and the phone call with Richie hadn’t helped my mindset.
“Not sure I can,” I hedged. “Got some work in the shed—deadlines I can’t miss. Plus, I’m planning on seeing Hailey. I’ll let you know.”
She let our hands fall between us on a sigh. “Okay. I’d really love for you to be there, and Hailey too, but I understand.”
“Thanks, sugar.” The words hovered on the edge of my tongue— I’ll come —but I couldn’t make myself say them. I just wasn’t ready for this step.
Phoebe might’ve understood this time, but what about next time? She had more patience and forgiveness than I deserved. If I didn’t get my act together, I knew I’d lose her.
I should’ve said yes.
I wanted to. Hell, I always wanted to be with Phoebe. There weren’t enough hours in the day to spend with her and turning down any time together felt as unnatural as breathing underwater.
But the words wouldn’t come.
I’d figure it out—I had to—for her. I just needed more time. I’d get there soon.
Besides, she didn’t need me there to have a good time with her family.
Everything would be all right.
Then why the hell does it feel like I’m messing everything up?