39. Chapter Thirty-nine
Chapter Thirty-nine
Deacon
The urge to cut and run was strong.
But my need to be the man Phoebe deserved was even stronger. That meant staying and dealing with my problems, not shutting down or wallowing.
I sat on the end of Phoebe’s bed, my head heavy in my hands. She was behind me, cheek resting on the center of my back, arms wrapped around me, holding me without a word, letting me be quiet.
I knew I needed to talk to her about this. Keeping it locked up meant shutting her out, and I couldn’t do that. Not to her.
I needed my soft, pink woman close.
“I’m sorry,” I forced out.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I lifted her hand to my mouth, brushing my lips against her knuckles. “The night got ruined.”
“No, it didn’t.” She climbed off the bed, circling around me. Kneeling between my knees, she cupped my neck, grounding me. “We went dancing, Deke. You held me close and swung me around until I was dizzy. I got to know Chris and Tilly better and see you with your bestie bro.”
I huffed a laugh. “Can’t wait to call Chris my bestie bro.”
She smiled. “Well, you are. There’s no denying it.”
She scooted forward, putting herself firmly in my space, exactly where she belonged.
“Have I told you lately how much I love Hailey? The customers adore her too. I’ve had more than one stop me to tell me the ways she’s gone above and beyond for them. Camille agrees. We wish we could clone her.”
I cocked my head, unsure why she was bringing this up now. “She’s a good kid.”
“Mmmhmm. Your sister is a good kid—the girl who shares blood with you.”
I sighed, understanding where she was going. “I get what you’re saying, baby.”
I picked up a lock of her hair, rubbing the silk between my fingers. She was trying her hardest to comfort me, but she had no idea how deep this ran.
If I could’ve kept it from her, I would have, but we didn’t do that. She needed my honesty, so I’d give it to her.
“When Richie called a few weeks ago, he asked a lot of questions about my job. Tonight, he told me he’s creating a pipeline of road workers to transport goods and asked if he could stash something in my truck and have me drop it off on my way to Casper.”
She jerked back. “ Something —like…drugs?”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. I didn’t ask. It’s none of my business, and I sure as hell don’t plan on becoming a mule for him.”
“Then you won’t.” Her fingers dug into my thighs. “He has no power over you, honey. He can ask you to do dirty deeds until he’s blue in the face, but that’s all he can do. He has no leverage. Nothing he can say or do will force you to say yes.”
“He can come after you.” And I would kill him with my bare hands.
“He could…but there’s no closing that door now that it’s open. He knows we’re together. There isn’t anything he could tell me about you that would make me stop loving you. And I know he’s a complete asshole. It’s not like that’s any surprise.”
I scoffed. “Understatement.”
“Yeah…” She leaned forward, brushing her cheek against mine. “I think we shouldn’t go looking for trouble. We’ll take things as they come. And we’ll do it together. You’re not alone anymore, and you don’t need to shoulder this on your own. I’m here. You’ve got Chris, Tilly, and Joy. Not to mention, my family would have your back if you needed it.”
I took her face in my hands, angling it back so I could look her over. Serene as ever, she let me see her, meeting my gaze without shields. She meant what she’d said, and her sound logic was enough to knock down the flimsy walls I’d been subconsciously building.
“You stick with me; this might be something I’m dealing with for a good many years,” I warned.
“I’m sticking with you.” She did not hesitate. “ We’re dealing with it.”
“Jesus, Phoebe.” I wrapped my arms around her so tight her breath whooshed out of her, but she returned my embrace just as fiercely. “I love you so damn much, sugar. Don’t know how I got this lucky, but I’m not giving you up. Not for anything.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Never, ever.”
Her mouth latched onto my neck, pressing hot kisses and soft suckles along my tense muscles. “Deke,” she murmured into my skin. “I love you.”
My hand in the back of her hair, I took her mouth in a hard, needy kiss. Our teeth clashed, tongues tangled. It wasn’t enough. I needed her. God, did I need her.
She ripped her mouth from mine, panting as she shoved my shirt up. I helped her, yanking it over my head, then she went for the waist of my jeans, unbuttoning them and yanking down the fly before I could grasp what she was doing.
“Phoebe, I—”
Her hand slid into my briefs and wrapped around my cock. I was already rock hard—hell, all it took was one look from her and blood rushed below my waist. She pumped me a few times, pulling me free from my underwear, then dove down, wrapping her sweet lips around the head.
So good . My fingers slid into the sides of her hair, pulling it away from her face so I could watch her. Her eyes were closed, long lashes brushing her rosy cheeks. And those lips, pink and plump, stretched around me, working their way up and down my length. She was gorgeous, always, but damn, when she lost herself in giving me pleasure, I could barely look at her; she was so stunning.
I had no idea what I’d done to deserve to be loved this well, but I had every intention of giving it back to her tenfold.
“My beautiful angel girl,” I rasped. “I love watching you sucking me, baby.”
She smoothed her palms along my thighs and up my abdomen, humming as she took care of me. Her mouth was hot velvet, and it took all my willpower not to surge up into her.
I trailed my gaze over her, along the line of her arched back, to the flare of her hips and round ass.
“Pull your dress up, sugar. Let me see you.”
She reached around, gathering the flowy material to her waist. Lacy boy shorts half covered her cheeks and disappeared between them. I focused on that valley. She’d let me put my tongue there—no place on her body was off-limits to me—and it’d been warm and welcoming.
“Gorgeous, Phe. So fuckin’ gorgeous,” I rasped.
If she kept going like she was, I’d come before I was ready, and her mouth wasn’t where I wanted to finish. Not tonight.
“Baby, I need you to stop.”
She sucked harder, wrapping her tongue around my length. If I hadn’t been so damn determined to come inside her, I would have succumbed right then and there.
I tucked my fingers under her chin, applying gentle pressure. “It’s my turn. Gotta get my mouth on you. Let go.”
It took some convincing, but I got her off me and switched places—Phoebe on her hands and knees on the mattress, that pretty ass in the air, me kneeling on the floor. I peeled her panties down her legs and buried my face in her slick cunt and ass, laving her swollen flesh with my tongue and fucking her with my fingers.
She moaned for me, rocking against my touch, begging for more in the sweetest, strained voice. As I plunged my fingers inside her, I felt her get wetter and swell around me. Never imagined I’d be able to feel her like that, knowing I was making it happen, but damn if I didn’t love it. And now that I’d learned what set her off, she responded to me like a flick of a switch.
I’d learned a lot since she’d allowed me into her life, opening her arms, heart, and body, unmasking my own desires that had been suppressed all my life. Then again, maybe they were specific to her.
No one had ever turned my head the way she did. Before Phoebe, sex had hardly crossed my mind. Now, it was rare for a day to pass without one of us reaching for the other…usually more than once.
She was the key. The only one who fits.
I coaxed a moaning, sheet-clawing orgasm out of her, then climbed to my feet, replacing my fingers with my cock. The moment I was fully seated, my hips flush with her plush backside, we groaned in unison.
“ This is where I belong.” I jerked forward, making her cry out. “Right here.”
“Yes, Deke. Right here,” she agreed.
I moved slowly, retreating and returning in smooth, deliberate strokes. I watched myself disappear into her, only to emerge slick with her claim coating me, marking me as hers, giving something no one else ever had and never would.
I should have let her go. But I wouldn’t. Now that I knew what it was to breathe sugar-laced air and fall asleep with sweetness surrounding me, I couldn’t go back. There was no unknowing what it meant to be loved by this woman. And I refused to live without her.
Molding my hands around her hips, I held her there, driving into her harder. She answered my call, taking what I gave her, offering herself up for more. Her arm moved between her legs, rubbing her clit the way she liked. It turned me on, watching her give herself pleasure. There was nothing she did that didn’t turn me on—especially with her sundress bunched around her waist, lacy panties still wrapped around one leg, and her ass colliding with my pelvis.
“I’m so close,” she moaned.
“I’ll go when you go,” I gritted out, doing my best to hold back. “Wanna feel you, baby. Give it to me.”
“Harder. Just a little harder.”
I was feeling a little unhinged after everything, so I gave her what we both needed. Her moans grew insistent, frantic, as my fingers dug into her flesh, giving me leverage to plunge deep.
She whined, her neck arched, her inner walls flooded with arousal. “Deacon!”
Yeah, she likes that.
My girl might have looked like the sweetest little cupcake, but she loved getting a little dirty and didn’t mind when I left behind a mark or two. With the way I was holding her hips, she’d have more than a couple.
I felt it. The end and beginning. Phoebe clung to me, her body grasping mine as she keened. I didn’t even try to resist. I came with her, spilling every ounce of myself into her. Rooted so deep, I’d found new parts of us and claimed them as ours.
We fell together, the mattress bouncing beneath us as I wrapped myself around her back. She twisted her head, our lips connecting in a slow, languid kiss.
For a while, we just lay there, sometimes kissing, sometimes with my cheek resting against hers. My knuckles traced lazy paths down her bare arm, over the curve of her breast. Eventually, we’d have to get up, clean off, and get ready for bed. But I wasn’t in any hurry to end this.
“I’m liking sundress season,” I murmured.
She turned just enough for me to see her smile. “Told you.”
“It’s going to be unfortunate when it’s over.”
She caught my hand, bringing it to her lips to nibble and press soft kisses on my fingers. “No sense in thinking about the ending when it only just began. Besides, if you want me in a sundress, all you have to do is ask.”
“Even if it’s the middle of January with two feet of snow on the ground?”
“Even then.” She kissed the pad of my finger. “It’ll just be sundress season in my apartment. I love you a lot, but not enough to wear one in the snow.”
Laughing, I pressed my face into her hair. “I love you enough, I’d never ask you to do that.”
She sighed, warm and content. “Look at us, Deacon, ending the night laughing in bed. I think that means everything’s going to be okay.”
“Long as I have you, you might be right.”
I sure as hell hoped so.