40. Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty
Phoebe
We’d had a good week.
No visits from Richie. No calls. And as the days passed, I noticed changes in Deacon. His shoulders squared a little more, the weight he carried seeming a bit lighter.
I hated that he was burdened by his brother at all but held onto hope that he’d let go over time and Richie would move on.
I understood baggage. His was heavier and had wrecked his life in ways I couldn’t even fathom, but I had my little carry-on bag of mistrust. I’d set it down, but it still lingered, always within reach.
Someday, we’d both be free from the chains of our pasts. We were getting there.
We’d spent the evening separately—me with my mother and Hannah, deep in wedding planning trenches, Deke working in the shed and having dinner with Chris and Tilly—but we’d reunited afterward in my apartment.
That was what we did. Deacon slept here every night. It wasn’t even a question anymore.
Now we were on my couch, snuggling together. The podcast we were listening to had ended, but neither of us was in a hurry to move. His fingers were in my hair, stroking me into a coma.
He hmphed.
“What?” I asked.
“Just thinking what a waste it was for me to buy that couch.”
“Should we hang out at your place so it doesn’t get lonely?”
That made him laugh. “Nah, I think it’s fine. I prefer your place any day.”
“Well, it might not be a waste. If we move into a house and it has a den, we could use yours in there and mine in the living room.”
He went so still I lifted my head to see what was going on. His brow was furrowed, and he was looking at me quizzically.
“You’d move into a house with me?”
“Yes. Isn’t a house your goal?”
“Down the line, yeah.”
“I’d like that too, and it would be silly for us to have two separate houses. If you think buying a couch is a waste, imagine letting your house sit empty while you’re spending every night at mine.”
His mouth twitched. “What if you spend all your nights at my house?”
I crinkled my nose. “There’s no way your house has a better kitchen than mine. That’s a nonstarter. We’ll be at my house.”
He chuckled. “I guess you’re right. Two houses would be pretty damn silly. We’ll have to stick with one.”
We were joking, but I wasn’t, not really. I wanted that future with Deacon. A cute little house with enough bedrooms for us, maybe a kid or two, and of course Hailey, a nice kitchen, and a workshop for Deacon.
“Glad we settled that.” I kissed his chin and settled back on his chest.
He resumed stroking my hair, and little by little, I relaxed, soaking up his attention.
“You mean it, don’t you?” he asked quietly.
He’d lulled me into a half-awake state, so it took a moment to register his question. “Mean what?”
“About the house. You want to find a place of our own.”
“Eventually, yes. I’m happy in this apartment with you, but when it’s time to take the next step, I’d only want to do that with you.”
He stopped stroking my hair, but only to curl his arms around me and hold me tight. “All right. That’s what we’re working toward—saving money and getting sure with one another until we find a place to settle.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I think we have a plan.”
“We’ve got a plan,” he echoed.
The ache was back, but it was because I was so filled with love for this man I was nearly bursting. It probably wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t imagine loving him less. It would be impossible.
The bed shifted, and suddenly, my back was cold. Deacon and I didn’t always sleep connected, but him not touching me was rare.
It was the absence of his warmth that woke me. My sleep-fogged brain registered his retreating figure as he left the bedroom, heading to what I assumed was the bathroom. I drifted in and out, waiting for him to return.
Except he didn’t.
The soft click of the front door sent a jolt through me.
What?
Was he leaving? Going back to his apartment? Surely, he wouldn’t do that without telling me. He didn’t always have good nights, but he’d never walked out.
Maybe I’d misheard. Maybe that had been the bathroom door.
I grabbed my phone to check the time. A notification from my doorbell camera caught my eye, and my stomach knotted as I tapped it. I expected to see Deacon, and I did—but he wasn’t alone.
Frowning, I scrolled up to the alert from five minutes earlier. A woman stood outside my door, pacing, her phone clutched in her hand.
I switched back to the most recent clip, watching as Deacon stepped outside, grabbed her arm, and led her toward his apartment.
I…what?
Confusion swirled through me, questions stacking too fast to focus on just one.
The longer I lay there, alone, the harder it became to breathe. My lungs felt trapped in a vise, the pressure mounting, pressing in.
What was happening upstairs?
Why wasn’t Deacon here with me?
Time crawled. An eternity passed before I heard my front door open again, though the clock told me it had only been half an hour.
I laid my phone on my nightstand and waited, forcing my breathing to even out. Deacon barely made a sound as he crept through my apartment, trying not to wake me.
Hold the line.
He’d explain. Any second now, he’d make this right—offer an easy answer for why he’d left our bed to take another woman into his apartment.
This was such a strange feeling—alarmed, scared, thoroughly bewildered, while stubbornly hanging on to hope everything would be okay in a minute or two.
Deacon was quiet as a mouse entering the bedroom. Through slits in my eyelids, I watched him shuck off his T-shirt and kick off his sweatpants, leaving him in his briefs. He went to his side of the bed, carefully peeled back the blankets, and slid in.
For a long moment, he didn’t move.
I kept still, my breathing steady, my body frozen.
I could have said something. Could have told him I saw. But I kept my mouth shut.
This was his choice.
I wanted his honesty freely given, not because I forced it out of him.
Finally, he rolled toward me, his arm circling my middle, pulling me close. His skin was warm, his scent familiar. Relief rushed through me. He smelled the same as when we’d fallen asleep. Not fresh. Not like another woman. Just…Deacon.
He’d give me the truth.
Or he wouldn’t.
If he didn’t…well, that was answer enough.