Chapter 11
ELEVEN
Kai
“Itold you she doesn’t stay in one place too long,” Logan says as he shakes his head. He looks at me with sympathy, like he knew this would be the result of my time with Ava.
She’s left an imprint deep in my heart. It aches when I think about her. How is that possible? We just met. I was ready to see where things would go, and she said she would be staying around for a bit.
“I obviously didn’t listen to you,” I say, shaking my head and running my hand down my face as I let out a sigh.
“You might need to let her go.” He doesn’t even look at me as he flips through the papers on the table.
I rub the ache in my chest that keeps growing.
“Can I do that? Won’t she at least be back for the baby shower?” I ask with hope laced in my voice.
It’s been a week since she ran from me and said she’d call. I dig into my pocket and grab my phone.
Kai:
…
I want to say, I miss you. We had fun and shared moments together. Now, it feels different, desperate. Maybe I am?! I settle on…
Kai:
I hope you are doing well.
Ava:
Thank you for checking in. Things are great here, super busy.
There’s this dull ache settling in my chest. I rub it a few times. When I focus on work and house renovations, it distracts me. Hopefully, all these feelings I have for Ava will subside. The last thing I need in my life is for my heart to be stomped on.
The bachelor life isn’t so bad. I chuckle at myself. There was this glimmer of light and hope when Ava was around. The light inside me is a little dimmer with her not here. From the minute I laid eyes on her until she walked away, she was this unexpected woman who tumbled into my life.
The days dragged on through the week, and by Friday, I walked through my door at 6:30 p.m. My shoulders slump, defeated and ready for the hot tub. I strip down at the doorway and hop in.
With the evening sky above, I stare out onto the water. Doubt raging inside of me.
I sure know how to fucking pick them. Again, alone, wondering how I end up here every time.
It all feels too familiar. After Katrina, she decided the almost three-year relationship was over and left without another word. I moved on and focused on the house projects. And so that’s exactly what I did this weekend to block out the reality of what was abandoned.
I asked my brother, Blake, to come over and help lay some flooring in my soon-to-be office today. I could have installed it myself, but I need some big brother advice. Unfortunately, I don’t think he has figured anything out either. So, not sure how much help he will be.
As a single dad, he focuses on Olivia rather than his love life. His wife up and left him without a word. Gone. It’s only been recently that she’s been calling, he told me. She said parenting was too hard and Olivia would be better off without her.
She always rubbed me the wrong way, but Blake loved her.
So, I tolerated her. But after what she did to Olivia, I’m not sure I could face her again.
Blake allowing her back into their lives upset me.
Not that I don’t want Olivia’s mom around; I want her to be a good influence.
What she did to them, I’d never forgive her for, and to be honest, I’m not sure she’s capable of bringing any good into their lives either.
Blake strolls in my front door. “Honey, I’m home.”
“Babycakes, I’m in the office waiting for you.” I chuckle to myself.
Tool belt on, he holds his coffee in one hand and his toolbox in the other. He brings that thing everywhere.
Glancing around the room, he says, “You’ve been putting in some hours here.”
All my free time this week has been spent working on my office. The walls are all painted a light grey, and the trim work is painted white. The built-in bookcase on the far wall that Blake designed and built for me, I also painted white.
When I glance around, I see all the hard work paying off.
It’s a boost to my mood. I can envision my desk in the corner, with a couch along the wall by the door.
The coffee table with books and magazines strewn around it.
And then the bookcase. It’s wall to wall, floor to ceiling.
I see all my books lined up on each shelf, along with a few of my sentimental items I plan to display.
“The floor is the last thing for this room. Thanks for coming over. Did dad take Olivia for the day?”
“Yup, they are having Grandpa and Oliva day. Whatever she wants to do.”
“Geez, spoiled. Why was he so hard on us, and yet he spoils his granddaughter?” I say rhetorically. My dad says being a grandpa is very different from being a dad. It comes with much better perks.
He shakes his head as he moves to grab a piece of flooring, scoffing. “Yeah.”
It was a good distraction for me. We joked around, and it kept my mind off Ava.
We moved all the furniture and boxes into the office.
I’ll work on unpacking and setting it up next weekend.
Unless I unexpectedly have some spare time this week, it will most likely be another long stretch of days at the firm.
After saying bye to Blake, I sit on the deck sipping on a glass of my favorite bourbon.
It’s smooth as it rolls down my throat. I pick up my phone to see if she texted while I was busy today.
Relief rolls through my body when I see the notification.
I sit down, and my shoulders relax, tension easing out of me.
Ava:
Have time to chat?
My heart leaps out of my chest, and a smile crosses my face to the point it hurts. She didn’t completely leave me high and dry. But then my smile starts to fail. Why is she reaching out now? I can’t resist the urge to text her back. That sliver of hope she feels that is tethered between our hearts.
Kai:
I’m about to hit the hot tub…give me a call.
I step into the hot tub. It will help soothe my muscles after all that manual labor today. Blake’s a beast when he works; no wonder he doesn’t have to work out. His day job keeps him fit, while I’m over here working out daily to stay in shape.
The ease washes over my muscles; complete relaxation will never get old. Jets beating on my back. I lay my head on the back and let out a sigh, as my mind floods with Ava when she was here, laughing, having fun, and well, being a bit of a tease. I didn't mind.
When the phone rings, another brand of warmth rolls through me. She isn’t avoiding me. I move quickly to slap the controls to shut off the hot tub so I can hear her on the other line.
I answer on half of a ring. Too eager…maybe…but all I want is to hear her voice.
“Hey,” I say with more enthusiasm than I wanted to show.
“Hi, you’re in the hot tub?”
“I was working with my brother earlier, and my muscles are sore. It’s exactly what I need…” It’s perfect that I’m talking to you. It would be perfect if you were here with me, but I keep it to myself, not knowing where this conversation will lead.
I hear a sigh on the other end of the phone, and then she whispers, “Wish I were there.”
My chest tightens, longing for her in my arms. I let out a deep breath and run my hand through my hair and down my neck. “Yeah…I wish you were here too.”
It’s quiet on the other end of the phone, not knowing what to say when there’s not much to say, since she’s hundreds of miles away. Instead, I try to lighten the mood. “So tell me all about your adventure. Let me live vicariously through you.”
The laugh that echoes through the phone has me smiling, but when she snorts, my lips tug hard upward; I’m not sure I can smile any further.
“I can’t believe I did that again, and this time over the phone.” I hear rustling at the other end.
The embarrassment in her voice, I want to reassure her. “It sounds cute on you. Remember what I told you the first time it happened?” I feel my face soften with the memory of her—snort and all.
More silence until I hear her clearing her throat.
“You’re too funny, and yes, I remember.” She pauses before saying, “Living through my adventures, huh? Well, I’m currently in my bedroom…
not exciting. But the festival has been exhausting.
We are up extremely early to be at our trucks for the morning rush.
We have a breather around the middle of the day, but then at dinner time, there’s another rush. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”
“That sounds exhausting, but is it everything you hoped for?” I ask, silently hoping she says no, and that she wants to come back to Saxville. I’m over my head with her.
“It is, but a part of me wishes I had more time in Saxville before I had to leave…” Her words hang between us. She said but. That’s got to mean something, right?
There’s a lot I want to say, but now isn't the time. It’s enough to know she’s living her dream, and some small part of her may want to be back here.
She yawns on the other end of the phone. “Oh, I didn’t mean to yawn right in your ear.”
“You’re exhausted. Why don’t we pick this up tomorrow…or whenever you’re free to talk or if you’re up for texting,” I say without hesitation because hearing her voice…It’s like a symphony to my ear.
“Okay. Good night,” she says with another yawn in my ear.
“Night, sweetheart.” The desire to call her that and reiterate I’m here whenever she wants to call, it’s everything to me, hearing her voice, knowing it might be the last thing she hears before she falls fast asleep.
I reluctantly hang up, turn the jets back on, and slump back down into the water, drowning everything out.
While I finish letting the jets beat on my muscles, her face plays on repeat in my thoughts. And it doesn’t subside when I’m in bed and close my eyes. Falling asleep takes a while, as I work like hell to slow down all the Ava replays.