Chapter 28 Payton
PAYTON
The next two days were a blur of questions I needed to get answered.
My first OB appointment fell in the middle of the afternoon, and I fidgeted through the entire process.
Filling out paperwork, peeing in a cup so they could confirm the pregnancy, then undressing and sitting on the awful crinkly paper with a paper gown that gaped open in all the wrong places left me feeling disoriented and out of sorts.
A tall woman with red glasses and a delicate smile entered the room.
“Good afternoon, Payton. I’m Dr. Gabriel. I’m sorry for the delay, and the gown.”
She sat on the rolling stool and rolled toward me. “There was a problem with our distributor, and we had to go back to those godawful paper monstrosities. I promise that will not happen again.”
Her smile helped ease the anxiety, and I managed to unlock my hands where I’d fisted them over my stomach. “They’re pretty awful.”
“Agreed.” She smiled and tapped the tablet she’d carried in with her. “Mind if I go through a few questions?”
“Sure.” I shrugged. “Kind of why I’m here.”
Her laugh was rich and warm.
“Oh, we are going to get along swell.” She ran through a list of questions, tapping on the tablet but stopping to look at me every few seconds.
It made me feel seen and heard in a way I hadn’t expected.
“Can I give you a quick exam?” Dr. Gabriel stood.
I shrugged again. What was I going to do, tell her she couldn’t do her job?
A few minutes of her soft hands pressing on different parts of me, and she gave me a smile and helped me sit up. “You appear perfectly healthy. I do have a few concerns about the baby.”
My heart lodged in my throat.
She continued before I could bombard her with questions. “Nothing perilous to birth or development. This precious gift of yours is doing well, if a bit undernourished.”
Guilt assaulted me. “I didn’t know I was pregnant. And I’ve been…” Tears welled. “I lost their father last month.”
“Ah.” Dr. Gabriel patted my knee. “I’m so sorry, Payton. Truly. Losing a significant other is a horrible, gutting loss. I won’t tell you that it will get easier, but there is a light at the end of all this. You have a child together, something to live for that wasn’t there before.”
Her words landed like blows.
I’d thought the same thing myself, but hearing it from someone else, a complete stranger, made them real in a way I hadn’t expected.
“You’re right.” I sucked back the onslaught of tears. “What do I need to do?”
I had to get back on my feet. My baby depended on me.
The most precious gift to remind me of my beautiful time with my three men.
Dr. Gabriel pulled out her phone and showed me the screen.
“We have an app that I recommend, especially for new mothers. For your specific case, I’d recommend a more robust diet.
That won’t come easily to you after the way you’ve been grieving and how your appetite has fallen off.
But I need you to try. I also highly recommend a prenatal vitamin. ”
She sent me a list of brands that she preferred and helped me set up the app on my phone.
“You can do this yourself, but I prefer to go through some of the questions with you so you are able to get the most out of the experience.” Her smile held the warmth of the sun. “And it will show you baby’s progress as the weeks pass.”
A picture popped onto the screen.
“This is where you’re at right now.” She handed me the phone, and I zoomed in on the image until it turned grainy. “Small but mighty.”
“Thank you.” Having that visual representation put a burst of energy into my body. “I didn’t realize she would have arms and legs already.”
“She?” Dr. Gabriel patted my knee. “Keep that energy going and you’ll be fine.”
“I will.” I slid from the table and hugged her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Half an hour later, I sat at my kitchen table with a bowl of fruit and the prenatal vitamins on the counter waiting for me.
I patted my stomach. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take good care of you.” I had to. How remained to be seen, but I sure as hell refused to let anything potentially harm my baby.
I scanned the apartment, my gaze landing on my computer. I’d been unable to blog about Alaska.
Even the things I’d seen and experienced before being kidnapped were too difficult and brought panic thrumming through my veins.
Dr. Gabriel had told me to avoid stress when I could, and that made writing the Alaska blog a giant hell no.
It took me a few days to come up with a plan. Dad wouldn’t like it.
I had to follow through.
My career depended on it, and so did my mental health.
Dad waited four whole days before he knocked on my door.
I’d called him after my doctor’s appointment and told him about the baby. He’d been thrilled.
I straightened my new shirt over my jeans and rushed to open the door. “Hi, Dad.”
“How’s the mother-to-be?” He hugged me with one arm, the other weighed down with a giant basket. “Brought you a few things.”
“Dad, you didn’t have to do that.” I took the basket from him and carried it to the kitchen.
The smell of oranges made my stomach growl, and I took one and peeled it. “I appreciate it, though. Just what I needed.”
“Did some research on healthy comfort foods.” He winked. “Tossed in a few bad options too. Like a gift card to your favorite restaurant.”
“I love you. You know that?” I popped an orange slice into my mouth and sighed. “Man, that’s good.”
Dad chuckled and perched on the edge of the stool tucked along the counter. “You’re looking better. I’m glad to see it.”
“Me too.” I picked at the orange, peeling a bit of the skin away and enjoying the way juice puddled across my nail.
“Uh-oh.” Dad sighed. “I know that look. What’s up?”
I considered lying, but that wasn’t fair to either of us. “I’ve booked another adventure. I can’t write about Alaska.” My hand seized around the orange, and I squeezed it into a mushy pulp before I regained control of myself. I shredded the remainder of the slices and ate them sliver by sliver.
A pained look lodged in his eyes. He rested his palms on the counter and leaned forward. “Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“I’d feel better if you let me hire security for you.” White rimmed his mouth, his lips pinched white.
I almost agreed, just to take the anxiety away from him and to make me more comfortable.
I shook my head. “I refuse to go through the rest of my life scared. If Mav, Reed, and Tarron taught me anything, it’s how to face life head-on.
I want to hold onto that in memory of them.
I won’t live in fear. I can’t.” My breathing hitched.
“I’ll never forget Alaska, and I’m not moving on in my grief, but I have to do something to drag me out of this rut. We deserve that.”
I splayed a hand across my stomach.
Dad stood and crossed the room to stand in front of me. “I figured you’d say something like that. You’ve always been fearless. Worried me no end, but you’ve proven you can take care of yourself.”
He hugged me.
“I’ll be fine.” I laughed into his shoulder. “I booked a nice, easy beach vacation this time. Nothing but sun and sand, and lots of people.” No more wilderness for me.
Maybe not ever.
While I still wanted to be alone, I craved the outdoors and the presence of others to help put a barrier between me and the reminder of my kidnapping.
“I could hire security that you’d never know was around.” Dad's arms tightened. “But I won’t do it against your wishes.”
“I’ll be fine.” The more I said it, the more I believed it.
Life was meant to be lived.
It wasn’t something I was willing to ride along in the backseat and not experience firsthand.
I had too many things I wanted to do, too many places to see, to give up and roll over.
Jack Wilson and his band of mercenaries would not take away my dreams.
Grief and loss almost had, but that was different.
I had a new reason to live, and I planned on making the best of every moment.
Dad released me and took a step back.
“Call me if you need anything. No matter where you are, what time it is.”
“Of course.” I shrugged, trying to make it look nonchalant. “I’ll even text you pictures so you’ll know I’m okay.”
“That’s my girl.” He patted my shoulders. “Enjoy that basket before you go. I know you’ll be busy scheduling and packing, but I expect you to call me when you get there.”
I tapped my forehead in a mini salute. “Yes, sir.” The motion reminded me so much of Reed that my knees went weak.
Dad’s understanding half-smile pinched his cheeks. He ambled toward the door. “Love you, Payton.”
“Love you too, Dad.” I walked behind him to the door. “Hey, I need to go out and grab supplies. Want to go with me?”
He arched a brow. “What kind of supplies?”
“Oh, you know. New bathing suits. Sunscreen.” I laughed outright when he waved both hands through the air. “Okay, no bathing suits. You can help me pick out a new beach towel.”
“Done.” He jingled his keys. “I’ll drive.”
It took us hours.
I could have finished it myself in half the time, but being out with Dad lifted my mood, and his.
We stopped at a steak place and enjoyed massive cuts of sirloin steak before he drove me home and helped me haul my supplies inside.
I wouldn’t take a third of it with me, but he’d had too much fun helping that I hadn’t been able to tell him no.
“That was fun.” He sounded surprised as he set the last of the bags in my living room.
“It was.” I collapsed on the couch and kicked off my shoes. “I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks, Dad.”
He patted the top of my head. “You’re welcome. I’m heading home. Call if you need anything.”
“I will.” I grunted and stood, following him to the door for the second time today.
Once he reached the end of the hallway, I closed and locked the door before eyeing the bags and shaking my head.
“What am I supposed to do with all this?”
A creak sounded from my bedroom.
The hairs on the back of my neck lifted.
I stood still and listened for several seconds.
When nothing else happened, I forced out a shaky laugh and headed to the hall closet to grab my suitcases.
A door slammed outside my apartment.
I jolted hard while trying to open the closet door and almost smacked myself in the face. “Fuck.” I gripped the door and reached inside to roll out my suitcase. “Calm down, Payton.”
The creak in my bedroom sounded again.
Anger surged, and I grabbed the baseball bat I kept in the corner behind my door.
Just in case, Dad had said that when he put the bat in my hands the day I moved in.
I pushed the suitcase into the living room, where it fell open because I’d forgotten to close the zipper, and raised the bat to my shoulder and crept toward my bedroom.
Cold sweat gathered on my temples and upper lip.
I searched the living room for my phone so I could call the police.
Only idiots investigated strange noises without protection and backup.
What if it was nothing but my imagination?
The threat of embarrassment was nothing compared to being kidnapped again.
I stopped next to the couch and bent to grab my phone.
An arm slammed around my waist, a second covering my mouth.
Fuck. Too late.
The familiarity of the hold told me everything I needed to know.
He’d found me. Damn it. Damn it.
Reed and the others couldn’t save me this time.
I kicked and flailed, putting every ounce of my training into effect.
I had more to lose this time.
He’d already taken Tarron, Reed, and Mav from me.
He would not take my child out of this world before they’d even had a chance to live.
Survive. I had to survive, no matter what.