Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
S pring couldn’t come around fast enough. Nathan had practically leapt out of bed the following Wednesday morning. After a few days of rain, the skies were now clear, sunny, and the air was warm. Flowers were beginning to bloom, the hard work from the months prior now ready to be rewarded. He smiled, wishing he could pick flowers for Lacie, but instead, he’d take photos and send them to her as a virtual gift.
He snapped a photo of some bright blue cornflowers he’d planted back in July when Lacie left, like those he’d planted in Gloria’s garden – which reminded him, he had to check how her garden was going and when she’d be ready for him to create the memorial for her husband. He sent her a quick message and she replied telling him early October would be good, and added the text she’d like engraved on the memorial plaque. He took a screenshot and would order the plaque next week. The birdbath and bench seat would be next on the list, but they were easy to buy quickly once she had the funds.
He whistled as he surveyed the growing garden, proud of his handiwork.
‘Yoo-hoo,’ Martha called and waved from the living-room window on the second floor.
‘Hi, Martha,’ he called out. ‘You should come outside, the weather is sublime today.’
‘Oh I sure will at lunchtime, a salad on the back deck sounds good to me. Feel free to join me around midday.’
He smiled. ‘Thanks.’
‘For now, I’m rearranging the books on the new shelves. I started to do them alphabetically and by genre, but I saw this fancy thing online with books arranged by colour, so I’m going to try it!’
‘Sounds fun, you’ll have to take a photo when it’s done.’
‘I will, but I’ll bring you up to see them too. My Edward – bless his soul – would probably have a fit, though, if he knew they weren’t in logical categories or alphabetical order.’
He smiled again, a sense of ease and belonging washing through him. He didn’t know what he’d do when the garden of South Haven was as complete as it could be. He would still be able to do maintenance of course, but that wouldn’t be a full-time job. He’d have to secure another long-term project or several minor jobs. But he’d miss the Appleby family and hoped he’d still be able to connect with them regularly.
He waved as she disappeared from view and continued his assessment of the progress of the garden. Martha wanted a gazebo with a centre table and chairs installed out the back between now and Christmas, so they could have fancy high teas in the warmer months. That would be his next project, but for now, something he was looking forward to gave him a boost of energy in anticipation…
He walked around to the back of the house, on his way to the shed to collect the beekeeping materials and protective suit. He paused when he noticed Ellie sitting on the step of the verandah. He approached, mindfully, the young woman with her head low and elbows resting on her knees.
‘Ellie, you’re up early. I don’t usually see you till the afternoon, except on your uni days of course.’
Her head shot up quickly. ‘Oh hi, didn’t hear you coming. I couldn’t sleep so I came out here.’
‘Sorry to disturb you, just on my way to do the first honey harvest of the season… see how much we’ve got.’
‘Oh nice, Mum will love that. She always enjoys her honey on toast in the evenings. My dad used to love it too.’ She lowered her head slightly again.
He had never met Mr Appleby, but had heard a lot about him… knew more about him than his own father who seemed like a mythical creature he wasn’t sure existed.
‘Must be hard without him,’ he said, not sure of what else to say.
She nodded. ‘He used to like sitting here, on this step. Plenty of other seating options around the house but he’d sit here, or on the ground, said it was his thinking spot.’
‘I can understand that. And there’s something about being outdoors that helps you think better.’ He watched as she placed her palm on the concrete step next to her, as though it was still warm from where he’d sat. ‘I guess you feel close to him again, sitting there?’
She glanced up and shaded her eyes from the sun with her hand. ‘I guess I do.’
Nathan came closer and sat on the grass nearby. ‘What was he like? I mean, I know a little, but what was he like, from your perspective?’ He hoped his questioning would be comforting rather than upsetting.
Thankfully, Ellie’s eyes brightened and she looked into the distance as though seeing the past. ‘Oh, where do I start. He had so much energy, even though he was getting older. That’s why it was such a shock when he… when the heart attack happened. He seemed so healthy. Always keeping busy and active, working around the garden like you, helping us kids out with whatever we needed, suggesting fun day trips and adventures. He just had a certain wonder about the world around him.’
‘Sounds like he lived a full life.’
She gave a nod and tightened her ponytail. ‘The only time he’d keep still was when he was sitting here, thinking, or sitting on an armchair reading a book at the end of the day. I used to think he knew everything there was to know about the world and life, so I’d ask him the deepest, craziest questions. He said I kept his brain active and healthy with all the difficult questions I asked!’
‘I bet he taught you a lot,’ Nathan mused. He had only his life experience to teach him, along with random things from school, but he’d never absorbed much in the classroom, had been too inattentive indoors at a desk, preferring to look out the window or be mischievous with his classmates.
‘So much. And mostly, encouraged me to love learning, so I’ve kinda never stopped.’ She managed a smile, then her chest rose high with a deep breath. ‘Out of all my family, it was like he was the one who always got me the most.’ She rubbed at the back of her neck. ‘I didn’t only lose my father, I lost my best friend.’
Nathan’s heart plummeted, and a memory from long ago resurfaced in his mind. He stood and went over to Ellie, sat on the step next to her. ‘I’m sorry. For you and your family.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied, wiping a tear from her cheek. He sensed she was trying to hold the rest of them back. ‘Is your dad around?’ she asked.
He shook his head even though her gaze was fixed straight ahead. ‘Nah, never met him. I grew up in foster care.’
‘Oh wow, sorry to hear that.’ She glanced at him.
‘I guess in one way I did lose a father, but I never knew him so it’s not the same as what you’re going through. I did lose a friend once, though.’ He leaned forward on his bent knees, the memory of it heavy in his chest and weighing him down all of a sudden. ‘I know how grief can really consume you and make it hard to feel like you’ll ever be normal again.’
‘Oh my God, that’s exactly what I feel. Like I wish I could go back to how I felt when he was around. It’s like it’s changed who I am and I don’t know how to get “me” back again.’
‘Yeah.’ Nathan nodded in understanding. He’d had more time than Ellie to find himself again after Cooper died two decades ago. To regroup and reset and focus on moving forward. It had been a shock for his sixteen-year-old self, let alone the fact that the boy had taken his own life. Cooper had been the only real friend he’d had growing up, having moved around to different homes so often. Since then, he hadn’t really gotten too close to any other mate, or anyone for that matter, until Tess. And that had ended badly too, though not tragically. He was scared to get close to Lacie too but somehow the distance between them gave him a buffer of safety, a way to feel the connection without risking too much.
‘I’m sorry about your friend,’ Ellie said softly.
‘Thanks.’ He patted her hand and stood back up.
She gave a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Nathan.’ She stood too, as though she’d had enough of her thinking time. ‘I know I have a great family and I’m lucky, but I just feel lost without him.’
‘You’ll get through it; I know you will.’ Nathan turned in the direction of the shed then turned back again. ‘You know, we are similar to bees in some ways.’
‘Oh yeah,’ she replied. ‘How?’
‘They need each other. And they need their queen… they are lost without their leader, their guide in life.’ He placed his hands into his pockets. ‘They can’t do their job, or thrive, on their own. Neither can we.’ Though he’d done a good job of that for quite a while. ‘And they need a good home. If you move a beehive to a new location in the yard, they’ll often get confused and try to find their way back to their old spot.’
‘Huh. Interesting,’ Ellie said. ‘So what do the bees do if they lose their queen?’
‘They create a new one from her eggs.’
‘Cool. So they just start afresh and move on, find a new leader?’
‘Pretty much.’ He smiled. ‘Us humans are more complex though, we can never replace those we’ve lost, but we can draw strength and guidance from other people in our life.’
‘Guess I need to try to do that.’
‘Have you spoken to your mum, or siblings about how you’re feeling?’
‘A little, here and there. But they feel the grief too, so I don’t like to burden them.’
‘That’s understandable.’ He wondered whether he should ask Lacie about her father. Maybe she was struggling too. Maybe the times she’d been quiet was also when she was trying to process her grief.
‘You should start a counselling service.’ Ellie said. ‘I’ve felt better talking to you than any of the professionals I’ve seen.’
Nathan’s cheeks warmed. ‘Ah, I don’t know about that. I don’t have any training, just life experience, I guess. And nature is a great teacher, and friend, in a way. We can learn a lot from it. I’ve got a great book at home called The Wisdom of Nature , maybe I’ve learned more from that than I’ve realised!’
‘Sounds interesting. And it does help being outside in nature. I’ll have to try that more often now the weather’s warming up. I’m such an indoor gal, though.’
‘Maybe this spot on the steps is all you need.’ He pointed to where they had sat.
‘If it was good enough for my dad, it’s good enough for me. Thanks, Nathan.’ She turned and walked inside the back of the house.
Nathan stood still for a few moments, absorbing their conversation, and with a satisfied sigh at Ellie’s new-found ease, he made his way to the shed to begin his honey harvest adventure. He may not be able to send any to Lacie, but he would definitely be showing her some photos, and probably making some cheesy remark about how she was just as sweet. He smiled and got on with his work, looking forward to their upcoming virtual date.