Chapter 42
My hands press against Keo’s chest, shoving him back with such force I think even he’s surprised. Not that I could tell by his face—the way my vision shakes terrifies even me. With a single step back, I nearly stumble.
Even though his actions almost made me fall, I shouldn’t worry. He would never let me hit the ground if he had anything to say about it. His arm wraps around my midsection, pulling me back.
“Ayden.” His other hand comes to rest against my face. “Please breathe. It’s alright.”
“W-Why would you… do that?!” I try to push him away again, but this time he doesn’t allow me to separate us.
My gaze snaps to my sister.
To see the judgment.
To see the disgust.
To see… her fucking smiling?
Tears she’d held tightly moments before streak down her cheeks, her teeth bearing in her smile. Her happiness blooms into pure, unhindered joy. I swear, the way she looks at me brings heat to my eyes.
“Fucking finally.” Her tearful words melt into a laugh.
I slowly turn my gaze back to Keo. His worried look matches his question. “Are you alright, sunshine? Please breathe, you’re looking pale.”
He’s so… calm. As if kissing me in front of his stepsister is completely natural.
Then his expression shifts to fear. “Say something.”
My lips tremble, ready to speak, when Alysa wraps her arm around me. I look down to see her burying herself between us.
Now she’s full-on sobbing.
“I’m so fucking happy for you guys,” she chokes out, squeezing us tightly together. “I hoped for this. I prayed, and you know how I feel about praying.” Her head lifts, and god, seeing her red, tear-streaked face sets my own to start building in my eyes. “I love you both so much, holy fuck.”
Slowly, I wrap an arm around her, but glance up at Keo.
“You… told her already?”
He shakes his head softly. “No… but I did tell her about us kissing the night of your graduation.”
My heart tumbles straight into my stomach.
“When?”
He sighs. “The first year I came to the cabin for Christmas…”
I swallow hard, then glance at my twin, feeling slightly betrayed. “You never said anything.”
She goes from rubbing her snotty nose on Keo to doing the same to me. “What was I going to say? When I found out, you were dating that asshole, Michael.”
His large fingers cup the side of my neck, and I watch as he gently guides Alysa aside with the other.
“Ayden.” He brings his free hand to press against my chest. “I wouldn’t have kissed you in front of her if I wasn’t certain it would turn out like this.
You were working yourself up for nothing. Aly would support you in anything.”
“Yeah, I’m a little offended,” she murmurs.
“Why didn’t you tell me… before she got here?”
He leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to my lips. “Because you would’ve been mad at her for not saying anything, and still a mess until she got here. Now you have both of us here to scold if you so choose. But, sunshine, I need you to breathe and not have a panic attack, please.”
It takes a moment, but I finally get my anxiety under control. Holy shit, that scared the hell out of me.
He releases me so my sister can step in for a solo hug. I don’t hesitate to embrace her.
“Oh, righty, I always saw you two…”
“But… our graduation night, you… barged in on us.”
“Yeah.” She leans away from me. “Because Dad and Lelani were searching for you. I knew exactly where you guys were. Imagine if they would’ve walked in.”
I glance at Keo, brows furrowed, arms crossed.
“I walked in backwards because I didn’t want to disrespect you two. Plus, if you were naked, I did not want to see that.” She giggles before letting out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t expect Keo to run out like that…”
My memory flashes back to that moment, her face of sorrow. It always struck me as weird, but now it makes sense.
“That’s why you looked so sad…”
She nods. “I love you, Ayden. You’re my twin. Why wouldn’t I want you happy? It’s all we’ve ever wanted for each other.” Her smile forces a few tears to fall. “And… are you happy?”
I look from her back to Keo. “I am…” That brings a grin to his lips. “I’m sorry I pushed you like that.”
“You can make it up to me later with some hot cider.”
“Oh no, we definitely have to drink! Shots?”
Just as I’m about to reply, Keo cuts in, “We don’t drink in this house. Sorry, Alysa.”
“Damnit. No drunk stories? How depressy.”
I release my sister and stride to him. He grabs the back of my head, pulling me to his chest. Wrapping my arms around him, I hold him like my damn life depends on it.
He kisses my head and murmurs, “I’m happy too, sunshine. So fucking happy.”
I knew it would make her cry, and it breaks my fucking heart to see her like this.
Both her hands are covering her face, the smallest of vibrations coursing through her fingers builds the goosebumps I can see on her arms.
“Alysa…”
The soft tapping of glass on the coffee table draws me to look up at Keo. He wears a frown, eyeing me for a moment until I silently convey I’ve got her.
He nods, leaning in to kiss my temple, before heading back toward our bedroom.
It’s the day after she arrived, and I sat her down to tell her everything. I’d told her when she came for Christmas I would explain the past few years with Michael. She’d pressed about it when I’d told her about the incest allegations.
From the mental to physical abuse, I didn’t leave much out. She deserved to know, especially since Keoni did. Alysa was my other half and I hated keeping it from her.
“I…” Her voice breaks and I scootch closer to her on the couch. “I should’ve known. I should’ve felt it! I knew he was hurting you, I just…”
She pulls her hands away and leans back. Her face, splotchy with red, especially around the eyes, has my own tears building.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” The agony in her voice hurts worse than any punch ever did. “I’d… have told Keoni. Dad. We would’ve… Did you not trust us to save you?”
I shake my head. “I would trust you with my life, lefty. It isn’t that.
” Releasing a heavy sigh, I lean into her, bumping our shoulders.
“I was drowning, and no matter how hard I swam, the surface kept getting further and further. Michael kept raising the water every time there was a sliver of a free breath I could get. He monitored everything… and the only reason he let me come to the funeral was because Dad wasn’t here to convince me not to go back…
and you lived in another country. There was no reason for me to want to stay. ”
More tears spill over her cheeks as she swings an arm around my midsection and pulls me into a hug. “He didn’t” —she hiccups — “know about Keoni…”
“No… but to be fair, I didn’t even know he’d show up.”
She buries her face into my neck, and I adjust us so the positioning is more comfortable to hold onto her.
“I wish you would’ve said anything… I hate him. I hate him so fucking much!”
I hesitate but quickly go on because I know she deserves all the truth from me. “Even if I had a moment to tell you, I probably wouldn’t have.”
She pulls back so fast, I’m surprised she didn’t get whiplash. “What?!”
“The stigma. I also feared you wouldn’t believe me—and I know how stupid that sounds, Alysa, but it’s how he wired me. ‘No one would believe you.’ It may as well have been tattooed in my brain.”
“I would’ve believed you—”
“I know—”
“Keoni would’ve believed you—”
“Alysa, I know…”
“Dad… Leilani. We would’ve… done anything to stop what he was doing…”
Tears well in my eyes, and I lean away, head tilting down. I can feel my heart beginning to rocket around in my chest, my skin beginning to tingle, when I hear his voice.
“He knows, Alysa.”
I look up, and he’s sheepishly standing at the cusp of the hall toward the bedrooms. He hadn’t fully left, it would seem, and that makes the onslaught of panic that was ready to consume me disappear almost entirely.
“We can say ‘he should’ve done something different’ or ‘I would’ve done this’…
but we shouldn’t. No one knows what they’d do until they’re in that position.
No one should tell someone else how they should’ve reacted.
” He shakes his head, eyes coming to hold mine.
“You survived, Ayden, and that’s what matters. ”
Survived.
“Y-You’re right. I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”
“It’s alright,” I whisper and pull her back into a hug. “I know what you’re trying to say.”
“I just love you s-so much. I hate that motherfucker!”
“We can all agree on that,” Keo mutters under his breath.
A soft meow fills the space before Clover jumps into my lap, then into Alysa’s.
“And he’s still trying to get you back—”
“Over my dead body,” Keoni damn near growls. “Michael will not win this bullshit case he’s trying to create, and Ayden will not be going back to him. No matter fucking what. I’ll kill that son of a bitch before that ever happens.”
Yeah, I really love when he gets all protective over me.
A snot-filled laugh comes from Alysa. “Best big brother ever.”
“Aly…” he groans.
That has me smiling for the first time this morning.
“Thank you for telling me,” she murmurs, causing me to look at her. She, too, has her lips curled into a gentle smile. “I hope that I can be as strong as you are, righty.”
My chest warms, and I suck in a deep breath through my nose. “You already are, sis. Thank you.”