Chapter 50
It’s eight in the morning, and Keoni still hasn’t returned home. His phone is off, and I’m a complete fucking mess. Thank god for the family we’ve made here. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be right now without them.
I’ve barely blinked since he left. Britt’s called to give me updates, but none of them are what I need to hear—that they’ve found him and are bringing him back to me.
Cal and Ronan stayed the night. He’d insisted she sleep back at their cabin while he stayed here with me, but she was just as persistent.
They have an interesting relationship. That saying, ‘soft for no one but her’—he embodies it.
I’d never talk back to him, and when she does, my anxiety spikes. But he just sighs and moves on. It’s an unusual dynamic—opposite in almost every way—but somehow it works.
A cup of coffee is set in front of me. I look up to see my blonde, green-eyed friend smiling. “Drink up.”
How she’s so chipper after sleeping on the couch, is beyond me. She comes to sit beside me, her own mug in hand.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask, taking a sip.
“Of course.”
“How’d Ronan know how to handle my panic attack last night?” I haven’t had a full episode like that in years. I know Keo understands how to handle them, thanks to his first-aid training, and we’ve discussed what to do in length.
She rests her cup in her lap, her freshly manicured nails tapping against the ceramic. “I suffer from them too. Ever since the incident last year that nearly took Ronan’s life, they’ve only gotten worse. So, he took classes to make sure he could take care of me.”
To me, that is love spelled out in so many ways.
“He took me to get diagnosed with PTSD. I’d wake up in fits of panic, afraid they weren’t able to save him.
” Her sigh is heavy, and I can feel how that affects her even now.
“I still struggle, but every day is better. We help each other heal.” She tilts her head and looks at me, then offers me a smile.
“Everyone has their hard. It’s all about finding the one worth working through it with. ”
Keo and I have our hard, but I swear we need each other to fill the empty spaces inside us—to embrace the dark together and bring in the light we’ve been needing for so long.
“Thank you.” I try to smile, even knowing it isn’t genuine. She deserves at least an attempt at gratitude.
“Ronan disappeared for a few days on me. I was worried, scared I’d fucked ‘us’ up before we got our chance…” She places a hand on my thigh. “He’ll come back. I can see how much you love him, and I can’t imagine he doesn’t love you just the same.”
I nod, though I worry he might feel differently. Why would he question that I love him as much as he loves me?
“You don’t even have to love me right now.”
I love him now. I loved him yesterday. And I will love him until my dying breath. I want him. I need him. I can’t imagine breathing without him.
The thought of a life without him, aches.
The front door opens, and I shoot my gaze up—only to be disappointed to see Ronan walking through it. “We have unwanted company.”
I’ll admit, I appreciate his directness. Had he said, “we have company,” my hopes would’ve soared… only to be shattered.
“I’m going to talk with them.” His eyes lock on to me like lasers. “It’s the police.”
My hands tremble instantly, and the coffee slips from my grip. If it weren’t for Cal snatching it from me, I’m almost certain it would’ve spilled all over my lap.
“Breathe, Ayden. Breathe.”
“Is Ayden Pierce home?”
I drop my head, unwilling to look but unable to run. I need to hear what they have to say.
“This is his residence. How can I help you?”
“And you are?” He sounds familiar but I can’t quite place it.
“A neighbor. Ronan Byrne. Have you found Keoni?”
“No, we haven’t.”
All the weight on my shoulders and in my heart lifts. Thank god. If they’d located him, Britt would’ve told me. I don’t want the police to be the ones to tell me they’ve got the man I love.
“Then how can I help you, officers?”
One of them groans. “We are here to ask Ayden some questions.”
“Nah. He’s unavailable.” Shit, he talks to them like he hates them. I’ve got complicated feelings about the police. Sure, it stems from Michael, but it isn’t just him.
“Are you—”
“Same ol, same ol. Are you impeding an investigation?” The way he mocks them, nearly has me laughing and I really shouldn’t right now. “Please just ask your fucking question. What do you want?”
The officer groans. “Fine.” He pauses for a moment.
Ronan tuts. “Tick, tock.”
“What was Keoni wearing?”
“Blue jeans. Black sweater, dark gray jacket over the sweater. Hair was down, but he throws it up when he drives,” I mumble to Cal, who quickly gets up and makes her way over, relaying the information.
“Will you two be with him all day?”
“Why?” Ronan bites out.
The exhaustion is finally hitting me—or maybe it’s this damn headache creeping across my temples. I wouldn’t be surprised if my eyes rolled back and I passed out right now.
“We just want to make sure there will be support for him.”
“Yeah… because you guys always have the kindest of fucking hearts.”
“Ronan, baby.” Cal’s gentle tone is the opposite of the growing tension between him and the police. “Thank you, officers. We’ve got him.”
The sound of the door closing shortly after is all I register, then a hand resting on my shoulder. Somehow I’ve laid down on the couch. I don’t even remember the action, just the contact startling me from sadness.
I don’t bother shutting my eyes or looking at who’s touching me. Instead, I look through the weaved fabric of the couch.
Keo, please, baby… please come back. We will work this out. We will.
“I’m going to grab Levi.” Ronan’s voice spills into my sleepy mind. “I’m sure we can find him. Fucking police have no clue what they’re doing.”
“Okay. Keep your phone on,” Calista says softly.
I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch. I’d hoped I could stay awake, but a part of me didn’t mind shutting off my brain. The hope that I could wake up from this habitual nightmare I’m stuck in—maybe to open my eyes to Keo wrapped around me in that possessive way he does when we sleep together.
But no. I’m back in my fucked-up reality.
“I will. I love you, baby girl.”
“Love you too, Daddy.”
Daddy?
Moments later, the door opens and shuts, and I decide it’s time to move. Blinking a few times, I take in the couch I’d been staring at earlier.
I push myself up to a seated position and turn to look for Cal. She isn’t hard to find—TV remote in hand, flipping through channels, her back to me. Before I say anything, I glance out the window to see that night has fallen.
I’m not entirely surprised I slept all day.
“Hey,” I say softly.
She doesn’t startle and simply angles herself toward me. “Hey. How’re you feeling?”
I run my fingers up through my hair, scratching at my scalp before shifting to my feet. “I haven’t processed how I’m feeling yet, but I definitely needed sleep.”
She nods. “Yeah, you did. I’m glad you got some.”
“Did I hear Ronan say he and Levi are going to go look for Keo?”
A somber smile tugs at her lips. “Yeah. Britt called. They still haven’t found him. They’ve only been searching around Maple Falls. It’s possible he went for a drive out of town. Without knowing which direction he could’ve gone, they’re reaching out to highway patrol for any clues.”
I simply nod.
“Do you want me to make you something to eat?” She sets the remote on the coffee table and starts toward the kitchen.
“No. I’m not hungry…” A strange disconnect washes over me, like my brain is slowly separating from my body. “I’m going to clean up. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay. I’m here if you need me.”
I’m halfway through my step when I pause, releasing a shaky breath. Instead of heading to the bathroom, I turn to her. She opens her arms, welcoming the embrace.
I squeeze her as tightly as she grips me, then bend forward enough to rest my forehead into the crook of her neck.
“It’s going to be okay, Ayden.”
My eyes close and I nod. I’m desperate for that reassurance. I need to be told that things are going to be alright—that Keo will walk through our cabin door, ready to talk, and tell me we’ll get through this together.
Because there’s no other way.
“Thank you… for everything, Cal.”
“What are neighbors for?”
“Sugar and milk.”
She giggles. “We have that, too.”
I lean back, and she tenderly places her hand against my cheek.
“Do me a favor though?” She nods before I continue, “Don’t tell Ronan I hugged you.”
That has her fully laughing, her eyes rolling as she turns her back to me. “I’m allowed to hug people.”
“Yeah…” I slowly begin to move toward the hall. “You are allowed to. Maybe just mention you initiated it.”
Her laughter fades as I make it to the bathroom, where I piss, run a comb through my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my face. I’m wiping a towel across my neck when a loud knock sounds at the front door.
“I’ve got it, looks like another police officer,” Cal screams, and I fucking groan.
Goddamn it.
I don’t even rush. At this point, I’d rather not hear what they have to say. I’m done answering questions, there’s nothing else to tell.
I’m opening the bathroom door slowly when I hear her say, “Thank you, but he’s a little distressed at the moment. I think it’s just best any information is relayed through his friends and family.”
“I understand.”
My entire body freezes.
Nausea creeps up my throat, and the burn from the acid nearly has me choking. I have to be quiet, just in case I’m right, and that voice belongs to—
“Unfortunately, since his stepbrother has been missing for twenty-four hours, we are going to need more of his assistance.”
Michael.
No… No fucking way. How’d he get past security?
“Looks like another police officer.” Oh fuck. They probably didn’t even think to stop and ID him… or compare him to the photo they have.
I fumble through my pockets, searching for my phone, though I know it’s probably on the couch, or maybe the coffee table.
Calista laughs nervously. I jerk my head from side to side. Left, the master bedroom. Right, the guest room. If I go out the back door, he will see me.
“He’s in the shower, I think. I can drive him down to the police station when he gets out.”
I can’t leave her, and I know this man too well. When he chuckles, it isn’t friendly. It’s condescending, bleeding straight into his irritated words. “No, that won’t do.”
“Hey! I don’t permit you to enter!”
If she stays, she’ll be in danger, but I can’t willingly give myself to him either.
Except, do I have much of a choice here?
I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
Keoni… What do I do?
When I open them again, my gaze falls to my forearm, right into the lion’s eyes. The same eyes that look just like his, the ones I pray I haven’t seen for the last time.
I do love you, Keo. I hope this works out and I can show it to you better…
I move quickly but quietly into the guest room and grab a piece of paper from the printer.
“Where is he?”
After writing down what I need, I walk calmly to the back door and open it. I know he can see me, but I angle my body just enough to tuck the note between the door and its frame, then close it.
I take one last breath of freedom from the man who has ruined my fucking life and turn to face him.