Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
I head downstairs to the smell of fresh coffee and the first rays of morning light streaming in through the windows. And when I reach the kitchen, I stop as I’m met with wide smiles from my parents.
“Uh… morning,” I mumble, running my fingers through my sleep-tousled hair, and step forward to accept the coffee Dad holds out for me.
“Morning,” he says, and Mom’s smile grows even wider.
“Oh, I’m just so excited,” she says, clasping her hands in front of her chest like she’s physically holding herself back. Her eyes don’t leave me as I sit at the kitchen island and take a sip of my coffee. “I still can’t quite believe you’re here for good.”
I chuckle, then yawn as I rub a hand over my face. “It’s way too early in the morning for this,” I mutter.
Winston suddenly appears at the back door, pressing his nose to the glass as his tongue smears slobber all over it. Dad huffs a laugh and crosses the room to let him in.
“He was at this door the moment I woke up,” Dad says, stepping aside as Winston barrels into the kitchen, panting and wagging his tail so hard he can barely run straight. “I let him out, and he’s been in the backyard just running circles for the past half hour.”
Mom coos at him as she leans over to give him some love, and he looks up at her like she hung the sun in the sky herself, just for him.
I shake my head as I take another drink of coffee. If I thought he was a happy dog before, it’s nothing compared to his life in PEI now. And we’ve only been here a day.
“Breakfast?” Mom asks, opening the fridge and pulling out eggs.
“It’s alright, Mom,” I say. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
She just waves a hand and continues to pull out a pan.
“Really, though,” I press. “I’m not hungry this early in the morning.”
She shoots me a warning look over her shoulder, and I gesture outside, where the sun hasn’t even fully risen.
When I agreed to work on a farm, I didn’t realize I’d be working actual farm hours.
While I do get to start later than the actual farmers, it’s still pretty fucking early.
A 7:00 AM start time is going to take some getting used to.
Mom rolls her eyes and turns back to the counter. “Fine. But I’m packing you something for later.”
Dad smirks, giving me a look that says not to fight it.
“So,” he says casually, leaning back against the counter, “excited?”
I nod slowly, watching Winston pounce on his toy duck with both front paws. “Yeah…” I say. “And nervous.”
My brow furrows a bit as I surprise myself with that admission.
Since I found out where I was going to be working, I haven’t really let myself think about it much more.
I’ve put my entire focus on the move and ignored the work part…
until now. Because in half an hour, I’ll be walking across the road, where I can no longer ignore it.
And yeah… I’m fucking nervous.
Mom peers over her shoulder at me, and Dad lifts his cup to his lips.
“For?” he asks, a little too softly to hide that he knows the answer to that question.
I set my mug down and push to my feet. “I should get ready.”
I catch Mom and Dad share a glance, and I feel bad for the abrupt change, but… I can’t go there right now.
“Alright, honey,” Mom says with a smile, and I’m happy they’re not pushing it.
I head upstairs to shower and change, and by the time I come back down, the sky is a little lighter, and Winston is back outside, tearing around the yard.
Mom holds out a lunch bag as I push my feet into my shoes, and I lift a brow.
“Seriously?” I ask.
She shrugs. “You’ll always be my baby. I can’t help myself.”
I chuckle as I stick it in my backpack with my laptop and sling it over my shoulder. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Have a good day!” she calls as I step outside.
Winston comes running around the side of the house and falls into a happy trot next to me, like we’re heading off on an adventure together.
“Sorry, bud,” I say, stopping to scratch the top of his head. Then I point back to the house where Mom calls him. “You’re staying this time. Maybe another day.”
He looks heartbroken for about half a second before he bolts back towards the house in a blur of fur, with legs flailing and ears flapping.
If I could bottle and sell his joy, I’d be a rich, rich man.
I continue my walk up the dirt road towards the farm, and the closer I get, the louder my heart thumps.
My eyes scan the quiet fields, and as I step onto the lot, every shift of light or noise from the garages and sheds pulls my attention to it.
But I continue to make my way towards the office, letting an odd feeling settle over me.
Being on this property again after so long is both strange and familiar.
I spent so much of my childhood on this land, riding in tractors with the crew, dislodging potatoes, and racing between rows until I was covered in red dust. But I traded that all in for subways, tall buildings, and rushing to meet deadlines and attend meetings.
A lot has changed since I was here last.
I pause for a moment to look around the property, letting the familiar sights calm the anxiety rising inside me. While a lot has changed… a lot of this place hasn’t.
My gaze locks on the tractor garage that still has the same patch of tin roofing that doesn’t quite match the rest, then shifts to the bright green office door that doesn’t go with anything else on the farm.
These subtle details that I’m sure no one else notices bring me a sense of comfort, knowing that some things will always stay the same, no matter what.
I pull in in a deep breath as I push the green door open to the office, and I’m greeted with Scott’s warm smile.
“Welcome back,” he says.
Melinda rises from behind the desk with a grin that lights up her whole face and rushes towards me with her arms open.
I let out a quiet laugh as she pulls me into a hug, and some of my worry dissipates. She’s been part of this place for as long as I can remember, running the farm behind the scenes with payroll, scheduling, placing orders, keeping everyone in line, and more than I can’t even begin to think of.
“Well, isn’t this just an amazing coincidence,” she says, hugging me tightly. Then she holds me at arm’s length and shakes her head with a smile as she looks me up and down. “So grown up.”
I laugh and shrug one shoulder. “Unfortunately, it had to happen at some point.”
She pats my chest and releases me with a sigh. “Unfortunately is right.”
Scott steps forward, holding out his hand, and I take it with a firm shake.
“Happy to have you home, Levi,” he says with a genuine smile, and relief floods through me. I had no idea what I was really walking into here, but Scott’s always been kind, warm, and welcoming. And his familiar presence puts me even further at ease.
He tilts his head for me to follow him and turns towards the hallway. “Come on, I’ll show you to your office.”
I smile at Melinda as she takes her seat behind her desk again, and follow Scott down the hall.
He stops by an open door and gestures for me to head in. “It’s the only free office, but… it’s a good one.”
My brows lift as I step inside and let my eyes roam around the space. It’s a typical office with a desk, bookshelf, and chairs. But the view… it stops me right in my tracks.
I grew up with this view, seeing it from every angle, all the time. Whether I was here on the farm or in my bedroom, I saw farmland. And I’ve looked at this exact field countless times.
But… it’s different now.
The field outside the window stretches out into the distance, bathed in amber light as the sun slowly rises above it, and hues of pink and orange fade into the sky.
The roof of the tractor garage at the edge of the field catches the light, reflecting it back in golden streaks that make my eyes burn…
yet I can’t look away. The rays spill across the office floor, and I feel the warmth of it on my skin as I pull a deep breath in.
Growing up with this view every day, I think I took it for granted. But now… there’s nothing quite like it.
“So, you’re staying with your parents?” Scott asks behind me.
I nod as my eyes catch movement near the tractor garage, and I see a few people milling about. But I tear my gaze from them and turn back to Scott.
“Yeah, for now. I’ll start looking for a place soon.”
He leans against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. “Rentals have been scarce around here for a while.”
“Yeah,” I sigh as I set my bag down on the desk. My parents said the same thing. “Well, we’ll see what I find. Buying here is cheaper than renting anything in Toronto.” I chuckle.
Scott lets out a breath of laughter. “I bet.” He pauses with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he watches me for a moment.
Then he shifts his gaze out the window and nods his chin towards it.
“Al wants to meet with you today to start getting you caught up for planting, since that’s quickly coming up. I’ll take you over to him.”
I smile. “He didn’t develop any chill while I was gone, eh?”
Scott laughs, leading me back into the hallway so we can head out to Al’s office in the garage. “It’s actually quite a relief to not have to explain the quirks of these people to someone new.”
As we step outside, my eyes immediately land on the group gathered near the front of the garage. The bay doors are open, and two tractors are already pulled out onto the gravel. It’s the morning routine I know well, where everyone takes a coffee break after prep work, before the hard work begins.
My fingers twitch at my sides, and my eyes quickly move from face to face as we get closer. Most of them are familiar, with a few new people added to the crew… and one missing.
“Well, well!” Keith calls as we approach. “Big-time city boy back on the farm!”
I laugh, accepting his handshake. “Turns out the city is overrated.”
“Got that right,” Dacia smiles, bumping me with her shoulder in greeting.
Scott introduces me to the few new additions to the team, and I catch up with Rob, Peter, and the rest of the crew I used to know so well.
But as they all share easy stories and jokes, I find myself smiling and nodding as my attention continues to drift.
My eyes dart inside the garage whenever there’s the smallest sound, or across the lot when I think I see movement.
But no one else joins us.
“Well,” Rob says, finishing the last of his coffee. “Time to get to work.”
Murmurs of agreement move through the group as they scatter, heading into the garage, out towards the fields, and to the other buildings surrounding us, all of them falling into motion like a well-oiled machine.
“I need to head out for a bit,” Scott says to me. “But I’ll be back this afternoon. We’ll let you do your thing. I know you have a lot of data and information to go through. And Al will probably talk your ear off all morning.” He smirks at Al, who just nods.
“Yes, I will,” Al says seriously. “I have a phone call to make, then I’ll meet you in your office.”
I nod, stifling my smile. “Sounds good.”
Al heads into the garage, and I stay right where I am, letting my eyes drift across the lot one more time.
Scott steps a bit closer to me and lowers his voice. “I think he needs a bit more time.”
I nod slowly, bringing my attention back to him.
“Yeah,” I say.
He squeezes my shoulder and offers me a reassuring smile. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I say, returning the smile, and he heads off towards his truck.
I watch as he disappears down the road, then look out over the field next to the garage.
The sun is slowly climbing higher, taking its shadows with it, and sending warmth down in their place.
I close my eyes as I feel it on my cheeks and pull in a slow breath, letting the scent of soil and diesel settle in my lungs.
But when I open my eyes and turn to head back to the office, I pause. The back of my neck prickles with the feeling of being watched, and I slowly turn around.
My gaze immediately lands on a worn, frayed, backwards hat with blond hair curling around the sides.
Silas stands beside one of the tractors, his hand gripping the frame just above the step, as he stares right at me.
A complete mess of emotion floods every inch of me as my eyes move over him, and I just take him in. Somehow, he looks exactly the same as he did four years ago, while also looking nothing like the person I remember.
He’s dressed the same as he always was, in dirty jeans and worn boots, with a tattered hoodie… but he now fills out those clothes in a way he never used to. He now looks every part the strong farmer and is no longer the scrawny kid I once knew.
But the biggest difference hits me right in my heart as I meet his eyes again, and I can’t read what’s in them. Whatever’s in there is hidden firmly behind a tall, thick wall.
His body is angled slightly away from me, and it looks like he’s fighting the urge to walk over here. But the longer I watch him, the more I see.
He looks… scared.
I’ve seen that look in him more times than I want to admit. When he was overwhelmed, when the world felt too big for him to manage… and when he was facing something, or someone, who was a threat.
I’ve always stood beside him.
But now it’s directed at me.
And that fucking hurts.
Tears prick the back of my eyes as I continue to watch him, and emotion wells in my chest, threatening to take over.
I want to walk right over to him, pull him into a hug, and tell him everything that’s been sitting unsaid for four years.
That I miss him, and that anger felt easier than admitting hurt.
That we were young and stupid and handled things poorly…
like pride somehow mattered more than understanding.
That we can get past this and be us again.
But my feet stay planted, and I just continue to stare at him. Something is keeping me rooted in place just as firmly as he is, and I wish I could make sense of it.
But before I can even try, his eyes narrow and his jaw tics. I feel the abrupt shift in him from here, and my own muscles stiffen as he glares at me and steps up to jerk the tractor door open.
Well, shit.