Chapter 39 #2
“Here are the folders with the information for the assignment.” Lowell leans forward, extending his hand. “We will expect a report on seeing the Grim this time, as well as progress on how you plan to kill him.”
Carver looks at Crew. “I believe you know this man, so this assignment should be simple. We believe he is a top intel for the Voids.”
Crew doesn’t open the folder and nods while standing.
The Elders—along with Shaw—rise, and I join them, keeping my gaze fixed on Crew. Lowell interrupts my focus by placing his hand on the small of my back, and that’s when I feel a spark of Crew’s anger, as if the channel breaks open without his control.
“How is your back?” Lowell asks as he moves his thumb over my clothes.
My breath catches in my throat from the rage I feel leaking into me from Crew.
“Healed,” I respond.
“And you can fly again, I assume?” he asks, a curious look on his face. “With no issues?”
“Yes.” I can’t help but move my shoulders as if I don’t believe it myself. “Everything is fine.”
“I’m glad,” he says, removing his hand, and the rage from Crew fades. “I’m staying to discuss a bit more with Carver in private, but I brought Shaw to take you back safely. I thought that would make you feel more comfortable than traveling alone.”
I tense, nodding.
The last thing I feel is safe.
Carver approaches to signal that he is ready for Lowell to join him, and I glance at him. His dark eyes find mine, and he winks as Lowell moves away from me.
He and Lowell hang back, slipping into a corner of the room that feels more private for a one-on-one meeting, leaving Shaw, Crew, and me standing near the large wooden table.
I step forward, genuinely craving space, and the other men follow close behind, crossing the threshold seconds after.
Their tall frames tower over me, but I keep my hands steady, prepared to face whatever comes next.
Shaw extends his hand to Crew. “Shaw Durante.”
Crew stares at his hand and doesn’t take it. A darkness moves around the space, and I nearly slap Crew’s arm to get him to stop.
Crew finally meets his gaze but doesn’t extend his hand. “Crew.”
“Alright then.” Shaw drops his hand. “Must have been a long few days.”
“Extremely,” Crew sighs.
“We are just exhausted, Shaw.” I smile. “That’s all.”
“And over the fucking small talk,” Crew bites.
Shaw narrows his eyes. “Okay… noted.”
Crew raises both brows sarcastically and extends the assignment toward me. “Mara, you can take the folder with you. I don’t need it.”
He extends his hand, and I keep my gaze fixed on him. I try to snatch the folder from him, but his fingers hold it longer than necessary. Crew’s gaze burns into mine, and I nearly flinch when I feel his fingers trace along mine before releasing his grip.
“Well, I guess we’re heading out,” Shaw says, feeling every bit of the awkward tension in the air. “You ready? I figured we could get some food or something.”
I nod as Shaw drapes his arm over my shoulder like he has hundreds of times before.
Crew’s eyes narrow, but I let Shaw pull me close in front of him.
His touch is harsh, controlling, and feels wrong—as if a virus spreads across what was once a beautiful relationship.
I quickly pull my thoughts away from the good times and remember that it’s always been this way—I just never saw it.
Shaw gives me a final squeeze and drops his arm as he heads toward the elevator, leaving Crew and me alone for just a little longer. Anger, hurt, and betrayal swell in my chest, but I think about where I was months ago compared to now. Who I’m with now.
“I’ll give you two a second,” Shaw says, giving Crew a disgusted look. “Hurry up, Mara. I want to get out of here.”
Someone who was once my everything has quickly become my nothing, but I look at Crew, and even with my guard up, I see someone who was once my nothing become my everything.
I briefly open my channel and send a wave of warmth directly to Crew. His eyes shift slightly, and he blinks as he releases a heavy exhale. Crew’s jaw tenses, and for a moment, I think he will leap toward me, but he holds back as if it’s painful.
I slam the channel closed and let my trembling hands hang beside me.
“Don’t go,” Crew mouths, and I feel tears well in my eyes.
“I have to.”
My chest heaves, but I can’t stay longer—it will draw too much unwanted attention.
“Please,” he begs. “Stay.”
“I can’t, Crew.”
He flinches.
“But you can come with me.”
“Anywhere.”
“Let’s get this assignment the fuck over with,” I say loudly, letting Shaw hear me from the elevator.
“Fine.”
I shoot him a sarcastic smile. “See you in a few days, Crew.”
He doesn’t respond, but nods.
Instead, Crew allows me to create distance between us, and each step pains me like a knife in my back. Shaw smiles as I join him as the metal doors open. I step inside while he presses the button for the roof, and I turn to see Crew still standing there, his face contorted in agony.
I let my gaze slice through him as the metal doors slowly close.
“How are you?” Shaw’s voice pulls me back to the reality of where I am.
I sigh, turning my focus to him. “I’m good. Exhausted and ready for a long shower, but I’m okay.”
Shaw nods. “And spending days with Crew Bannermin? How was that?”
I laugh. “We avoided each other and only spoke when necessary. I wish I had more exciting stories for you, but I don’t.”
Shaw crosses his arms. “Damn. I hoped that you two would fuck or something.”
I jerk my eyes to his. “You have got to be kidding me?”
He laughs wildly, and the once-comforting noise now sounds vile. “Yeah, I am. Sort of.”
The elevator ascends, its relentless beeping driving me crazy.
The metal walls begin to close in on me, and I can’t help but shudder while standing next to Shaw.
He was never the friend I allowed in for so many years—he was always my enemy.
He has deceived me—outed me—and although the scars on my back are a consequence of my actions, he is the reason they came to be.
The doors open, and I shoot forward, desperate for space. My chest rises and falls rapidly as I push against the door, revealing the night sky above us. The eerie silence of the Ashmeed District is deafening, and I move toward the edge of the building.
“Are you alright?” Shaw asks.
I can’t catch my breath, and I know I’m seconds away from losing control. I gaze across the building to a nearby one, my hands trembling, and a wave of emotion threatens to bring me to my knees.
I squint through the darkness and see a dim figure standing in the shadows, watching my every move. Large black wings blend into the night, and a calmness washes over me.
Crew.
I turn my back to the figure, letting myself regain my composure and stretch my wings wide to shield Shaw’s potential view of the lurker in the shadows.
“Let’s just go,” I say. “I need to get away from this place.”
Shaw smiles. “Let’s go home.”
He shoots into the night sky like a brilliant light made of feathers.
I soar into the sky, keeping a comfortable distance from Shaw as if I’m letting him guide the way.
The night air bites at my skin, but the freedom I feel while flying soon washes away my anxiety.
I watch the city below transform from the abandoned industrial district back into the familiar, bustling city I used to love.
I observe Shaw’s large body as it moves before me like a spear in the night.
His broad white wings sway with the night air in perfect unison, and I let the rage build in my chest, propelling me faster.
My hand moves to the knife still strapped to my belt.
I carefully trace my finger along the blade, allowing the fury to distort my mind into a plan.
I fold my wings close to my body and propel myself through the air.
My grip tightens around the knife's handle as I slowly draw it from its protective sheath. The shining blade reflects all the light from the city below, and I clench my teeth together, ready to change everything when I drive this into Shaw’s back.
He did it to me, so I should repay him.
I get closer to his body, gripping the knife so hard my knuckles turn white. I fly higher, causing his attention to shoot toward me as I hide the blade against my leg. He smiles and pushes forward.
Do it, Mara.
Fucking do it.
I glance all around, taking in the view one last time, and narrow my gaze as I notice a small dot of darkness following closely behind me, hidden in the shadows.
Crew flies behind me, entirely concealed by the night, and I focus on him as best as I can. His gaze is intense, and he shakes his head slightly, telling me not to proceed with this split-second plan.
I snarl but follow his instructions, placing the knife back against my thigh. I open the channel between us and send a wave of annoyance to him before slamming it shut again. I flip Crew off and propel myself faster toward the towering buildings. I swear I hear him laugh.
The city lights begin to brighten the space around me, and I watch the darkness below fade away, not wanting his cover to be blown. Although he creates distance, I feel safe.
The large metal and glass building of the Lyre Order comes into view, and I can’t help but feel as if this is no longer my home. Deep down, I know it hasn’t been for a long time.
My window comes into focus alongside Shaw’s, which is right next to mine—his is open while mine stays closed. A wave of anxiety washes over me, knowing I can’t go straight to my room and must enter Shaw’s. However, I push it aside as we approach.
Shaw flies through the large open window first, landing and folding his wings as he returns to his human form.
I follow closely, landing right after him, but I keep my wings extended, stretching them to relieve the burn from the flight.
His room is typically messy, and what was once a place where I spent countless nights laughing until I cried now leaves me feeling numb.
Shaw glances at me, and I shoot him a pained smile.
“They are a bit sore still.” I shrug.
Shaw grimaces. “I’m so sorry that happened, Mara. We haven’t seen each other since.”
I hold back the remark I want to make and switch my expression to a soft, calm one instead. “It’s alright. It was a consequence of my own actions. Carver told Lowell about me shooting Crew, and I had to pay for that.”
“Right,” Shaw says, turning his back to me.
My hand instantly goes to the blade again, and I’m tempted to throw it into the back of his head, but I force my hand away.
“Bronwyn told me she helped you after your injury,” Shaw says. “I’m happy you two are working on your relationship again.”
Anger floods through me, and the thought snaps back into my mind.
Do Talon and Bronwyn know what Shaw did?
“She was there for me,” I say. “Without her, I’m not sure I would have made it.”
Shaw nods. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“It’s alright,” I say, walking toward the door.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m exhausted, Shaw. I’m going to shower and go to bed.”
He walks to the door with me and steps in front of it, blocking my way. Panic swirls around me, and my instincts are seconds away from kicking in. If he doesn’t move, I’ll fight.
“Are things alright between us?” He angles his head. “You seem different.”
I grab his shoulder, trying to push past him, but his stance doesn’t budge.
“Shaw, we are fine,” I snap. “I promise, I’m not the one who’s different.”
His gaze burns into me, and my stomach flips.
“If you say so.” He steps to the side. “But you are being harsh.”
“And that’s new?”
He shakes his head.
“Good night, Shaw.”
“Mara,” he tries again, attempting to stop me.
I quickly move through the threshold into the quiet hallway of the Lyre Order, and Shaw follows me toward my bedroom. I open my door, turning on the lights to reveal the room exactly how I left it.
“I just want to make sure you are okay,” Shaw says.
“I just spent days away murdering people,” I respond. “You should understand.”
“Would you tell me if something was wrong?” Shaw hesitantly asks.
I smile, placing my hand on the door’s edge, and stare directly into his soul. With all my strength, I slam it shut while he is still standing there, letting the wood rattle directly in his face.
“No.”