Chapter Ten #3
Finnrey nodded, though it was becoming difficult to see her with the sky darkening.
Light could attract Hollows as much as sound, so the outpost was probably careful to conceal any light at night, and it was always so much darker in the outerlands when we were away from Highcastle.
In the last rays of light, I watched as she lifted her fist and covered it with her other hand.
I made the same gesture. She wanted to protect me, and I wanted the same for her.
I remembered what seemed like another lifetime when Gaz had made that same gesture to me. I wished I could go back to that night. I wished Taio had never come.
I moved back to the rise where the Zulenii now spread out their bedrolls.
Taio indicated a place beside him, which also happened to be in the center of the circle.
Gaz might have once gestured that he wanted to protect me, but Taio had actually taken steps to do so.
Not that his actions endeared him to me.
He was forcing me to return to Zulen with him, taking me away from my home.
He’d ruined everything I’d hoped for in my life and now my future, what little I might have left of it, was uncertain.
“Finnrey will try and send food,” I said, unfurling my bedroll and anchoring it with my pack. “I asked for hot water. We can’t start a fire. It might attract Hollows.”
“We are not fools,” Omira said.
The curt tone of her voice made me wince. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you know. I’ve trained new cadets on patrol before, and I suppose I have a habit of explaining things.”
“You have trained others,” Taio said.
I glanced at him. He sat on his bedroll, legs crossed before him.
He looked perfectly relaxed, which was odd considering we were probably in the most danger we’d been since I’d first met him.
Clearly, for him, sleeping out in the open was preferable to being inside Highcastle.
“Not formally trained them,” I answered.
“I’m not an instructor. But on patrol, we all take part in helping the newer and younger cadets learn the protocols. ”
“I do not know this word.”
“A protocol is like a rule that everyone follows. There are probably a hundred or more protocols, but some of the most important are no fires unless you’ve cleared an area and know you are safe. If possible, don’t engage any Hollows alone. Always go back for your team.”
He said something to the other Zulenii.
“What did you tell them?” I asked.
He didn’t answer.
“That’s annoying.” I opened my pack and took out my herbs and mug. If Finnrey did manage to send food and water, I would be ready. “I answer your questions. But you’ve told me nothing about Zulen or what I’m walking into.”
He shrugged, not even trying to deny it. “You are not ready to hear.”
“What does that mean?”
“You mourn what you have lost. You are not yet looking forward.”
“Perhaps if you told me what I was to expect, I might be able to look forward.”
Yung made a small sound and pointed to the wall.
A basket was being lowered over the edge with a long rope.
I began to rise, but Taio pulled me back down.
Yung went and returned with the basket. It was heavy with a pot of hot water, a loaf of bread, and a pot of rice and beans.
Yung took his own utensils from his pack and gave everyone equal amounts of food.
Between the five of us, it was not much.
At least we wouldn’t have to dip into the food the kitchens had sent with us.
I held out my cup and Yung poured steaming water into it.
I didn’t know how much of the herbs I should add to it, but I was in pain, so I added two pinches.
I let them steep and tried to force myself to eat the food slowly so it would last longer.
Everyone rinsed bowls with the last of the hot water and then I sipped my medicinal tea.
It tasted awful, but it would be worth it if it took some of the pain away.
“That smells like dung,” Taio said.
“It tastes like it too,” I said. “Perhaps if you hadn’t choked me unconscious, I wouldn’t need it.”
“You and your sister left me with bruises too.” He touched his side, and I wondered how hurt he was.
No one had looked him over or given him anything for pain or injury.
I’d noticed the bruise on his chin where I’d hit him with the back of my head, but I couldn’t see the injury on his ribs where Cameed had kicked him.
I handed my mug to him, but he didn’t take it. “You drink it,” he said.
“I’ve had plenty. You drink some too. It will help with pain.”
He looked at the mug then at me. In the darkness, I couldn’t see the expression on his face, only the movement of his eyes. Then he took the mug and drank the rest down. “Ergh.” He handed it back. “Vile water.”
I laughed. “It really is.” I slapped at a biting insect and Omira handed me a wooden pot. “What is this?”
“Ointment,” she said, removing the top. “It keeps insects from biting.”
I sniffed and raised my brows. It smelled fresh and clean, not at all like the putrid stuff we covered ourselves with on patrol during the wet season when the insects were the worst. “It smells good.”
She dipped her hand in and smeared it on her hands and her face.
Not wanting to be rude, I did the same. The texture was smooth and the feel of it light, not sticky.
I handed it to Taio, who used some, and then passed it to Kintle.
The feeling of belonging among the Zulenii was strange but also reassuring. Perhaps Zulen would not be so awful.
“I’ll take the first watch,” I said.
“No. I’ll take it,” Taio argued. “Then Omira, then Kintle, then Yung.”
Well, so much for belonging. Apparently, I was not to be trusted to do a watch. “You forgot me,” I said.
“You sleep, Princess.”
I might be a princess, but I would do my part. I wasn’t lazy or indulged. “I will sleep when I’m not on watch.”
“And if you are on watch, no one else will sleep,” he said.
“So you don’t trust me.” I already knew that, but now it needed to be said. “My life is as much at risk out here as yours.”
“I will not change my mind.”
Of course he wouldn’t. The man was so stubborn. “Fine. Then I will do my watch with you.”
He shrugged. “If that is what you wish.”
He rose and moved away from the others, who were beginning to settle down on their bedrolls. I put everything back in my pack except my bedroll then rose to join him. The herbs were already working. I felt a bit better. If I hadn’t been so angry at Taio, I might have asked if they’d helped him.
I joined him at the highest point of the rise Kintle had chosen for our resting place.
It was high enough to see above the grasses spread out before us.
The darkness meant anything coming through them would not be visible until the danger was a few yards away.
But I knew the sound and smell of a Hollow, and they’d give themselves away long before we saw them.
Taio stood with his legs apart and his arms crossed.
I stood beside him, my legs also braced so I could turn my body to survey the area to my left and behind me.
He was on my right and would keep watch on that side.
I thought he might tell me to stand further away, but he didn’t.
In fact, for a long time, he said nothing.
The outpost was quiet, and in the fading light, the tree trunks that made up its walls looked like dark fingers stretching to the starry sky.
I heard the murmur of voices once in a while or the scrape of a spoon on a plate, but the cadets stationed there were obviously well-trained.
Behind me, I heard the shuffling of the other Zulenii and then a quiet snore.
The outpost must also have guards on watch, but I couldn’t see them, and it felt like Taio and I were the only two people awake in the world.
“You want my trust. You have not earned it. What will you do when your loverboy tries to kill me?” he asked again.
For a moment, I thought I’d imagined the question.
His voice was very quiet, and he didn’t turn toward me or tap my shoulder to get my attention.
Instead, I turned toward him. He was a tall, solid shape in the starlight.
“I’ll answer that question if you answer one of mine first.”
He looked at me. “Go ahead.”
I had so many questions I wanted to ask him that it was difficult to choose. But the most pressing one was easy to pluck from my thoughts. “Why did you choose me? Was it because I was the only princess who spoke to you?”
“That is two questions. No, I did not choose you because you were the only princess who spoke to me. My turn.”
“You didn’t say why you chose me.”
“I answered your question.”
I blew out an irritated breath. “Has anyone ever told you that you are difficult to talk to?”
“No. And that is yet a third question. I’ve answered two and you’ve not answered my one.”
“But you didn’t answer the one question I can’t stop thinking about.”
He moved closer to me, and I caught the clean scent of Omira’s ointment on the breeze. “Do you wonder why I chose you often?”
The way he said it made it seem as though I was constantly thinking of him.
Normally, I would deny that, but I was distracted by his warmth.
The night had grown cold, and now that he’d moved closer, I realized I was chilled.
I had the urge to move closer to him, to burrow into his warmth.
I wouldn’t do that, of course, but the thought distracted me.
“You said you wanted a warrior. All my sisters are warriors. I wasn’t even a good enough warrior to defeat you in the Claiming Rite—”
“You came much closer than the other sister. There was even a moment when I thought you might defeat me.”
I cut my gaze to him. “Only a moment?” I heard his soft chuckle and shivered. “If you wanted strength, my sister Broga—”
“Would have never spoken to me as we speak now. I wanted a warrior and a partner.”