LONG NECKS & LONGER THOUGHTS
“You’re really gonna go, ain’t you?”
Chet’s voice was low, coming from the dusky shadows surrounding Sally’s trailer. She jumped slightly, surprised to find him sitting out next to it. He had his own place, parked right next to hers, but she didn’t often see him outside. He wasn’t a fan of the heat.
Chet reached down into the cooler next to his lawn chair and fished out a longneck for her.
“Lone Star?” he asked, popping the top without waiting for her reply.
Sally plopped into the rickety folding chair next to his and took the cold beer gratefully.
“Thanks,” she said, downing half of it in one go. “What are you doing lurking out here?”
“Ain’t lurkin’, just havin’ some ‘me’ time,” Chet replied amiably. He took a pull from his beer, then fished out a pouch. He held it up so Sally could see. “Smoke?”
“Not a whole one, but I’d take a pull if that’s what I think it is.”
“You’d be right.”
Sally grunted, leaning her head back and watching the sun continue to disappear from the sky. She was sweat-soaked and in desperate need of a shower before her show that night, but she had time enough for a beer and a puff or two of Chet’s infamous wacky tabbaccy.
“So?” Chet asked, grinding a nub. “You gonna answer my question?”
“What question?”
“Are you or ain’t you goin’ to space to fuck that alien what’s got you all introspective and cranky-like these last few weeks?”
Sally rolled her eyes. “Well that’s a vast oversimplification of the issue.”
Chet shrugged. “I don’t rightly think so. Seemed to me you was always gonna leave at some point, you just needed the right excuse.”
Sally blinked, looking over at him. “Excuse me? What in hells do you mean by that?!”
Chet looked at her, simple confusion writ plain across his face. He grunted, his expression clearing into one of mild amusement.
“My apologies, Sally, I didn’t mean no offense.
I know yer happy here. And I know how much you love Lou.
But I think you and I are too much alike, which is why I can also see how unhappy you’ve been these last few years.
Lou knows it, too—Why’dja think she signed you up fer that website?
It mighta seemed like a joke at first, but I think she thinks if you can get whatever it is you need out yer system, you’ll settle back down. ”
Chet paused in his litany to light the joint he’d just rolled. He took a pull, letting it out slowly before passing it over.
“She’s wrong, o’course,” he continued in the wake of Sally’s silence. “As much as you love it, this weren’t never the life you chose. There was always gonna be some part of ya that was lookin’ for somethin’ else.” He paused, looking over at her. “Or am I wrong?”
Sally took two slow puffs off the joint before handing it back. She breathed them out slowly, feeling the marijuana infiltrate her system. She was going to feel really good after her shower and a sandwich.
“You know, Chet, I think that might be the most words in a row I’ve ever heard you say all at once.” Sally gave him a tired half-smile, her fingers trailing through the cool condensation on her beer bottle.
Chet grinned, saying simply, “I know.”
Sally thought about what he’d just said.
“I…don’t think you’re wrong,” she finally replied. She looked over at him, guilt weighing her down suddenly. “Don’t tell Lou? I mean about what you just said. I think she’ll just think I’m leaving her instead of just…leavin’.”
Chet nodded, making a little X mark over his heart. “Lips are sealed, darlin’.”
“You know, you really are somethin’, Chet. I’m glad she found you.”
“More like I’m glad I found her. That woman is a goddess in the bedroom!”
“Alright, alright! I don’t need any more o’ that. Y’all traumatize me enough in the mornin’s.”
Chet chuckled, “Fair ‘nuff.”
“So, you gonna propose to her afore I leave?” Sally expected her statement to catch Chet off guard, but he just swigged his drink calmly.
His eyes twinkled at her as he replied, “How long I got?”
“Couple’a weeks, I reckon.”
“That soon?” Chet’s eyebrows got lost in his hairline beneath his hat and Sally flushed.
“The next space flight’s in about a month and I’ve gotta get there a little early so they can make sure I won’t like, have an aneurism on the shuttle.”
“Were you plannin’ on tellin’ Lou?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t mean from the airport, Sal.”
“It weren’t like that! I was gonna—am gonna tell her, it just sorta happened real fast! I…didn’t actually think I was gonna go. And then…”
“And then you found someone who tickles yer funny bone?” Chet gave her grin the size of Texarkana.
“I…well…sorta? I mean, yes? He just…I mean it ain’t even sexual!” Sally’s hands flapped up in the air.
Chet’s brow furrowed, “Ain’t it?”
Sally flushed all over again. “Ok well it is, sorta, but we just talk. A lot. About everything. He’s fascinatin’. His culture is wild—I still don’t think I understand even a third of it. And he’s…well he’s…just…beautiful.”
She mumbled to a stop, feeling like a teenager with a crush.
“So he does rev yer motor some?”
Sally snorted, “Now you just sound like Lou.”
“Wellll she’s rubbed off on me some.”
Sally gave him a knowing look. “I see that double entendre and I ain’t fallin’ for it.”
They both fell into a pleasant silence, Chet laughing into his beer.
“What if…” Sally paused, staring down at her jeans, not wanting to ask the question that had been plaguing her for weeks. “What if I get up there and he…doesn’t like me…?”
Chet looked over at her. “You mean like, will they let you come home?”
Sally shook her head, “No, no, there’s policies for that.”
Chet sat up slightly, leaning in Sally’s direction. “Sal, does the guy have eyes?”
Sally frowned. “Yes?”
“Does he have a penis or whatever the equivalent is?”
Sally rolled her eyes. “Mostly yes.”
“I’m real curious about that ‘mostly’, but I’m gonna put a pin in that for a sec. Last question: Does he enjoy females sexually?”
Sally flushed. “I actually don’t know, but I’m assumin’ yes since they’re kinda vital to his peoples’ equilibrium or whatever.”
“You could always ask.”
Sally shifted uncomfortably at that thought. She was always being told she was too direct, usually by guys…as they broke up with her.
“He’s gonna like you, Sal.”
Sally’s eyes didn’t meet his. “Earth guys don’t.”
“Earth guys are idiots.”
“Doesn’t change the facts any. You didn’t like me none. You went straight for Lou, didn’t even look in my direction!”
“Now, hold on, let’s assess the facts here.
Firstly, if you’ll recall, you and I met by makin’ out in a bar on New Year’s.
Secondly, it was shortly after that kiss that I watched Lou beat the shit out of a man who grabbed her ass without permission.
That’s when I fell in love. Had nothin’ to do with whether I did or did not find you sexually or emotionally interestin’. ”
Sally flushed. “I must admit, I actually did forget about that kiss.”
“Wheewwww!” Chet put a hand to his heart, making a dramatic face. “Way to ruin a man’s confidence, Sal!”
She grinned slowly. “Yeah, well, I guess I owe you one.”
“You just keep sendin’ Lou those alien dick pics when you get into space and we’ll call it even.”
“To Lou or to you?”
Chet tipped his beer in her direction, “Touché.”
They sipped companionably for a moment before Sally looked over at him with her thinking eyes.
“Hey, Chet?”
“Hm?” He turned to meet her gaze, his big brown puppy-dog eyes settling quietly on her sky-blues.
“Thanks.”
He reached up and tapped the brim of his ten-gallon. “Yer quite welcome, Sally darlin’.”
***