GROWING PAINS
Xenoth was astonished. She’d written back.
The Earth female had not only written back, but she’d written back twice, and included a photo of her doing…
something on top of a large animal. Xenoth was not entirely certain what it was she was doing in the photo, but it seemed to be acrobatic and, if her words were any indication, required a certain high level of skill.
His lack of knowledge of her physical prowess aside, Xenoth found her form to be captivating.
Her red ‘hair’ as the Earthlings called it, was astonishingly beautiful.
Among his people, red of that color was reserved only for the kropeknik of Z'arthaxian High Queens, so to see it displayed so brazenly was… enticing.
Xenoth was almost embarrassed to be able to look at her picture for so long and kept turning his eyes away from the terminal screen as though he might, at any moment, be caught staring at royalty. He glanced at the screen once more before closing away her image.
His skin felt strangely tingly all over and his entire kropek mane was buzzing slightly.
It’s nervous excitement, that’s all, he told himself.
Excitement and terror.
Xenoth still could not believe he had revealed so much of his peoples’ biology in such a message to someone from an entirely different species, much less that it had been Arzog’s suggestion.
It was…beyond heretical to reveal such a thing to someone outside of the Z'arthaxian people. Not to mention far, far above either of their station to make such a decision to do so.
If Ascending Y’arza ever returned and found out…
If she bothers to return at all, she can answer for her part in abandoning what is left of her people, Xenoth thought in sudden anger.
He had been defending Y’arza’s actions to himself for a long time. But the last few months had changed his thoughts on several fronts, including giving himself permission to be angry at a female. Angry at a Queen.
Well, an almost-queen, anyway.
“You’re up late,” Urzan’s voice made Xenoth jump, startling him from the domicile’s doorway. Urzan’s eyebrows rose. “I don’t think I’ve ever been able to sneak up on you before…” He came farther into the room. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Talk about? No, I’m fine.” Xenoth made a dismissive gesture with his kropek. “It’s just the usual problems—water filters need changing, gryllrogi need processing. I’m just missing the days when it was just me and a programming screen.”
He gave Urzan a small, tight smile, hoping he seemed nonchalant enough for his brother not to push. Urzan sighed, running a hand through his kropek.
“Yes, I know what you mean,” he said quietly. Urzan hissed suddenly, yanking his hand out of his mane with a mild crackle of electricity.
“Growing pains again?” Xenoth asked.
Urzan nodded, eyes tight until the excess electricity found itself a home within his rapidly growing kropek. He looked at Xenoth tiredly, holding out a container of salve.
“Would you mind?” he asked almost guiltily.
Xenoth smiled gently, then shifted in his chair, patting the floor in front of him as his kropek plopped down a cushion between his feet.
Urzan sat with a tired thwump, not bothering with his usual grace.
He’d grown so much in the last few weeks that even seated on the floor, his head was almost level with Xenoth’s there in the chair.
Xenoth gently separated Urzan’s kropek knot, Urzan letting go of the coding so his weave fell out easily under Xenoth’s prodding.
It was an extreme privilege to be able to touch another being in so direct a manner.
Their direct relationship as brood-brothers allowed Urzan to relax under Xenoth’s ministrations.
Quite simply, Xenoth could not hurt Urzan. They were tied through bonds of family loyalty which prevented such acts of violence. To hurt Urzan was to hurt himself, and Xenoth would have rather yanked out all his kropek by their deeply-embedded roots before he harmed his little brother.
Xenoth spread cream smoothly between Urzan’s locks and the bigger male sighed as its healing properties kicked in on his stretched and itching scalp.
“I used to do this for our sister, you know,” Xenoth told him quietly.
“Hm? Our sister?”
“Do you remember Y’asilli? She was older than I, transitioned before you were born, but she visited from time to time.
She adored you, though she rarely let it show, especially when our mother was present.
Y’asilli was Dammed by Queen Z’arteth, so mother wasn’t overly fond of her visiting with us.
She put up with it since Y’asilli was a favorite of our fathers’, and she and I grew up nearly as one, despite our different Dams.”
“Was she the one who used to bring me the star fruit jam that father Ilzith used to complain about me smearing on the domicile walls?”
Xenoth laughed, “I had forgotten about that! And yes, that was her. She brought that jam for you every time just to make Ilzith mad. I never understood why until she confessed to me one day that star fruit jam was what her mother used to bring him before she had died. Ilzith was never entirely lucid after her death, but when Y’asilli visited, he remembered somewhat who she was.
She wanted to make sure he never forgot her entirely, even if it meant annoying him every day until her Ascension. She loved him a great deal.”
Xenoth’s voice grew quiet, his fingers pausing for a moment as he remembered all of the family he would never see again.
“Could I see her?” Urzan asked softly, his head resting on his knees. “I don’t really remember what she looked like.”
Xenoth held out a kropek, its end opening like a flower, offering the living port to Urzan. Urzan’s kropek joined and Xenoth shared a few moving images of their sister, their fathers, and one or two of Urzan as a wikwik. They were just images, not the full memories, but they were enough.
Urzan detached, his voice shaking slightly as he admitted to Xenoth, “I’m not ready.”
Xenoth lay a gentle hand on Urzan’s mane. “I know.”
“I’m…I’m mad at Y’arza.”
“I am, too.”
“I…I know what she’s doing is important, but she should be here. We’re important, too! I’m supposed to be important to her! I’m not ready to be a female yet! I’m supposed to be her male. Her Primary. Not whatever this is! I’m…I’m all mixed up inside, Xen!”
Xenoth leaned forward, giving Urzan a rare full-body hug. He wrapped all of his kropek around the larger body of his little brother. Where once Xenoth could have thrown Urzan’s fully grown form over his shoulder, now Xenoth would be lucky if he could pick him up at all.
“Urzan, I want you to know, no matter what happens or what form you take, until you tell me otherwise, you will always be my little brother.”
Urzan’s shoulders shook with tears.
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