Chapter 13 GOING OUT WITH A BANG!
GOING OUT WITH A BANG!
“Let’s get readddyyy to brrrrrrONCOOOOOOO!”
Massive cheers drowned out the announcer’s voice on the loudspeaker as the bronco riding competitors jogged out into the center of the rodeo arena.
After the crowd died down slightly, the announcer continued, introducing the line of riders, each of whom stepped out and waved or did a little jig when their name was called.
Chet and Sally stood next to one another towards the end of the line. They were both big crowd draws, so they went later to give the newbies and traveled-in folks their moment.
“Who’d you get?” Chet muttered to Sally as he waited his turn.
“Mr. Mephi-Stomp-On-These,” she said with a wince.
“Ooooh, rough luck!”
“You?”
“Tater Turds.”
“Who names these horses?!”
Chet snorted, “Well at least you get to have a memorable last ride!”
“Yeah, for about 3 seconds, if I make it that long!”
Chet rolled his eyes, turning to look at her as the guy next to him stepped out and waved to the crowd.
“Like you ain’t about to win again!” he muttered to her with a twinkle in his eyes.
Sally was prevented from replying as the announcer got to Chet.
“Our three-time local champion: CHHHHEEEETT BONEbrOOOOOOOO! Sorry ladies, this one is firmly taken!”
Several of the girls in the stands screamed things like “We love you, Chet!” and “Come be my bronco!”.
Chet stepped back in line after jumping up to tap his heels together, grinning at Sally. He did love performing.
Sally stepped out, waving to the crowd, only instead of her usual intro, the announcer went off-book. She paused, listening, but kept waving and smiling like a pro.
“What’s this?! It looks like our very own Sally Rider, but COULD IT BE?! IT IS! OH NO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! It looks like Sally’s gettin’ BEAMED UP!”
At that, the song E.T. by Toy Box started up over the speaker system and the entire rodeo cast came running out to join with the competitors.
Everyone pulled out cheesy ‘green men’ alien masks and ran around Sally in a big circle.
They all started doing a dance in time with the music while Sally stood there in complete confusion.
The entire group faced her suddenly and rushed inwards all together while she shrieked with laughter.
As they rushed out again, Lou and Tracy showed up with a giant cardboard ‘rocketship’ that looked more like a dildo.
They swept up to Sally and threw the straps over her shoulders, danced around a bit more, then the entire crew suddenly disappeared out the various exits to the arena.
The crowd was loving it.
Lou came running back out with a microphone.
“Well what do you think of that, Sal?” she asked in her best Presentation Voice. She tipped the microphone to Sally.
“I think I’m wearin’ a giant dildo, Lou!”
Lou tipped the microphone back, laughing. “We had to make sure you went out in style. And DOESN’T SHE LOOK GREAT, EVERYBODY?!”
The crowd whooped and hollered.
Lou walked around the back of the ‘rocketship’ and slung an arm around Sally.
“Now you didn’t think you were goin’ to sneak off without a proper goodbye, didja?”
“Maybe.”
The crowd boooooooo’d heavily. Lou waved her hands to quiet them down.
“Alright, alright, you maniacs, settle down! Now listen, Sal, we know your last ride’s tonight, but we decided to set up a little bonus competition for you.”
“Oh you did?”
“We did!” Lou looked over her shoulder where secret activity had been taking place.
“Y’ALL READY?!” she shouted, looking back at the crowd when she got the nod from Chet.
The crowd screamed with the sort of enthusiasm found only in truly horse-mad people.
Tracy came running up and handed Sally a rifle.
“What in hells is this? Is this a paint ball gun?” Sally asked loudly, her commentary mostly caught by Lou’s hastily-tipped microphone.
“Why yes it is, Miss Sally! We have a little challenge for you! Take a look!”
Tracy and Lou turned Sally away from the crowd and faced her, still wearing the ‘rocketship’ and now holding a paintball rifle, towards the lines of moving UFO painted cardboard targets being waved back and forth above the heads of her rodeo-mates.
“Let’s see it, Sal!”
“Lou, they ain’t got no protection on!”
“They’ve got goggles!” Lou swatted Sally on the ass. “Don’t miss!”
She and Tracy stepped back while Sally fumbled with the rifle, trying to get the ‘rocketship’ off over her head. She ‘fumbled’ a little more on purpose, milking out the comedy, then casually fired off a round towards Chet.
He yelped as the pellet exploded in the dirt near his feet.
“Aww, COME ON, SAL, THESE ARE NEW BOOTS!” he hollered while the crowd laughed in appreciation.
Sally got the dildo off, looked at the crowd and shrugged with a comical, “OOPS!”.
And then she got serious.
The airsoft rifle came up to her shoulder as she sighted towards the bobbing, weaving, waving targets being held up for her.
She aimed a shot at the biggest UFO in the back to sight the rifle, then proceeded to rattle off shot after shot with barely a pause in between, absolutely nailing every target in less than a minute.
She then flipped around, ducked between her legs and let off another three rounds that hit the UFO dead-center.
The crowd went beyond wild.
Sally stood up and waved and bowed several times until Curly Joe, the owner of the rodeo joined her. Lou, Tracy, and Chet were right behind him holding things. Curly Joe took the microphone from Lou and pulled Sally in for a tight hug.
“Sal, you know you’ve been a bright light for us these many years. Our own little Lone Star! We’re gonna miss the hell outta you, ma girl!” Curly said in his thick West Texas drawl.
Sally wiped away a tear, leaning into the microphone. “Ain’t you supposed to do this at the end of the show, Curly?”
“Weeeellll, we ‘ent want you to be covered in dirt after yer last ride!”
Sally laughed, then sniffled a bit with a muttered, ‘Oh mah gahd’, as Tracy brought up a pair of boots that she’d painted. They were patterned in Sally’s staple turquoise and yellow, but with the Texas Lone Star prominent in the pattern.
Curly spoke for the crowd, “We ‘ent want you to ferget us neither, so we gotcha a little somethin’ t’take along. Don’t know the weather on that there planet, but a good pair’o’boots ain’t never a bad thang.”
Lou stepped up and handed Sally a matching hat as Curly continued.
“T’keep the rain and wind off yer shoulders, and the sun out yer eyes.”
Chet stepped up with a big rodeo cast photo, signed by everyone. Sally really did start crying then, sobbing as she took it.
“So y’cain’t ferget us none, no matter how many light years away you might be.”
Sally blubbered as they pulled her into a big group hug.
“Do us proud, Miz Rider,” Curly finished, then brought back a little lightness for the crowd (which was also blubbering), “And be sure to send us some pictures!”
???
Mr. Mephi-Stomp-On-These didn’t know what hit him. Sally rode him to a new personal record of 10.477 seconds. She scored a 93.
She was especially pleased to go out on such a high note considering the last time she’d ridden him, he’d tossed her off 5 seconds in. His buck was one of the most jarring she’d encountered over the course of her bronco riding career, but this time, something just seemed to click.
Chet was impressed and also had a twinkle in his eye as he complained about her winning yet again. His time on Tater Turd had been 9.332 seconds, with a score of 87.
“It’s cuz yer such a string bean!” Sally teased him. “You look like one of those inflatables at the car lots when you ride!”
“I DO NOT!”
Tracy snorted her drink out her nose. “You do! She’s right!”
“Shh, shh, she’s comin’,” Sally whispered, hiding the banner they were hooking up to the flag pole for the end show.
Lou stepped up grinning furiously. “Y’all ready for our final show?”
“Mmhm!”
“Yep!”
“Waitin’ on you!”
Lou’s mouth made a surprised little ‘o’ shape at their in-unison response and her brow furrowed, but she moved past them with a shrug and untied Mr. Socks, who was waiting patiently for his favorite rider.
Tracy and Sally followed, their mounts also waiting patiently. Chet handed the rolled up banner pole to Sally.
“You ready?” she asked him with a wink as Lou rode out with a gallop, circling the arena in show-girl style, the fringe on her chaps flying freely.
He grinned nervously, nodding, then paused Sally with a hand on her knee, his eyes looking unsure for a moment.
“She, uh…She will say yes, won’t she?” he asked, his heart in his throat.
Sally smiled gently. “She’s been waitin’ for you to ask for a year now, Chet. She’ll say yes.”
He let out a huge sigh, scratching under the edge of his hat as he stepped back. He nodded.
“Alright then.”
Sally tapped her heels to Flank-Steak’s sides, joining Tracy and Lou in their arena ride-around.
The three went through the familiar routine, dancing their horses through the various steps, until Lou hopped off to perform her infamous speed-lasso jumping trick.
Her horse was led away off to the side so he wouldn’t get any ideas.
While Lou was busy leaping back and forth over the lariat like a cricket on crack, Tracy and Sally unrolled the banner behind her.
The crowd began hootin’ and hollerin’ all over again, though it took a moment for Lou to realize it wasn’t their usual reaction to her hyperactive activity. She paused, looking around until she finally spotted the banner rolled out between the two horsewomen.
“What in tarnation?!” She put a hand to her hip…and then she read the banner.
WILL YOU BE MINE, LLEWELLYN GRACE?
Her face froze in shock and she looked around wildly.
A brief moment of the Wedding March played over the speakers, and Chet rode back out on Lou’s horse, pausing in front of her and tapping his heels to give the signal for Mr. Socks to bow down on his front legs.
Chet held up the microphone, “Llewellyn Grace, I gotta ask you a question…”
“YES!” Lou shouted, not even letting him finish.
The crowd laughed.
“Ya gotta let me finish, woman!”
“NO!”
Lou rushed up to him, jerked his foot out of the stirrup and mounted up behind him. She knocked his hat off and wrapped herself around him so she could kiss him awkwardly from behind, in the same saddle.
When Chet could breathe again, he tipped the microphone up one more time.
“So do ya want the ring, then?”
“GIMMEE!”
He handed over the little box, which Lou squealed with happiness over as she snatched and opened it with massive excitement. She tucked it into her cleavage until she could take off her ropin’ gloves, then gestured for Chet to give her the microphone.
“Okay, Sally! You can go to space now!”
The crowd cheered and Sally tipped her hat in Lou’s direction, grinning.
???
Their aftershow party was the best send-off meets engagement party Lou or Sally could have asked for.
There was even a ‘rocketship’ cake…with a ring on it.
***