Chapter 7
seven
It takes Luke an eternity to come back inside the house.
Who knew putting out small fires took so long.
The pizza is already cut and cooling on the counter. I’ve uncapped fresh beers and set them on the coffee table in front of the massive TV, and I’ve wiped down every surface I could get my hands on, even though they were already immaculate.
I wiggle my toes in relief. I don’t know how Luke always reads my mind, but the Band-Aids and warm socks were lifesavers.
The same can’t be said for the leggings I’m currently wearing. Since they are my “going out” pair, and not my “lounge in my bed” kind.
I eye the hoodie I left draped over one of the kitchen stools beside me.
I used it as a pillow when I fell asleep in Luke’s truck, and it felt so soft and cozy.
It smelled like him too, and I found myself acting like a total creep as I took more than a few deep breaths and nuzzled into it while he drove.
What do you want?
It’s such a simple question, but my mind always manages to make it as complex as humanly possible.
I’m always thinking of every possible outcome of the decision I make and how it could influence those around me.
A fun little party trick I picked up when I was a kid trying to get my dad’s attention, and not the disapproving kind.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist—hell, not even a second grader—to know that I have daddy issues.
And even though I’m an advocate for therapy and have been going for years, I still haven’t managed to rewire the part of my brain that prevents me from feeling guilty when I feel like I’ve let someone down.
Even if I logically understand the circumstances to not be my fault, my mind treats me like I’m public enemy number one and searches every avenue possible to reconcile the issue, even if it means disappointing myself.
That is, until I ran off into the woods with my best guy friend and shut off my phone, thus shutting out the world. Seems like I’ve run so far that the guilt has yet to catch up with me, even though I know many difficult conversations are still meant to be had.
I stare at Luke’s hoodie one more time.
What do you want? continues to ring in my mind.
It seems so silly to be this tormented over something so trivial, so without another moment of hesitation, I grab the hoodie and pull it over my head. It hits me right above the knees after I’ve pulled it down my body.
I can see that Luke is still circling the firepit, so I bend quickly and pull down my leggings right then and there.
Damn, a girl could get used to this kind of relief.
I fold them and place them inside the bag that I’ve put in the linen closet.
I hear the sliding door open as I walk back to the kitchen.
“I promise I’ll go on a grocery run tomorrow morning. I thought I’d have time on the drive up here, but it got dark and—”
Luke stops dead in his tracks.
His eyes darken as they assess me from top to bottom.
Shit. I fucked up.
I should have asked him if it was okay to put on his clothing.
Duh. What kind of person takes people’s hoodies without asking?
Probably girlfriends and wives. Not friends and current runaway brides.
Am I giving him Silence of the Lambs vibes right now?
Because the way he’s looking at me feels like he’s holding himself back from taking off at a sprint.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put this on. You gave it to me to protect my privacy, and I put it on because my leggings were too tight. Again, a me problem. I’ll take it off right now.”
He moves slowly, inching closer my way. Looking at the article of clothing as if he’s never laid eyes on it before.
“You want to wear my hoodie, Daisy?”
“I-I can—”
He shakes his head twice. “Answer the question I asked. Not the one your mind is fumbling to answer.”
I clamp my lips shut.
My brain is trying to give him an honest answer, but my heart is almost beating out of my chest with the tone he used on me. It wasn’t mean, because I know a mean tone when I hear one. It was commanding. As if he was trying to wade his way through my thoughts and straight to my desires.
And if I give too much thought to how I squeezed my thighs when he spoke, then he’ll be waiting a very long time for my answer.
“Daisy.”
“Yes.”
He arches a brow. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, I want to wear your hoodie. If that’s okay with you,” I add quickly.
His lips twitch as he takes another step my way, bringing us toe to toe. He picks up one of the strings around the hoodie’s neck and gives it a soft tug. “Consider it yours.”
Our eyes meet for a long moment, and I stay rooted to the floor when he turns and ambles to the living room.
Long enough to remind myself he’s talking about the hoodie, and not himself.
“Pretty please? I promise I won’t make you learn the secret handshake with me. Unless you want to. If so, we can start practicing tomorrow on the dock.”
Luke sighs deeply. “The Parent Trap? Really? Don’t you want to watch something with murder or suspense? That usually seems to make you nice and chipper.”
I hit him with a small throw pillow as we sit side by side on the couch.
He showered quickly before dinner, and he’s now wearing a long-sleeved navy henley and gray sweatpants.
While he was in the shower, I lined up every rom-com I’ve ever watched and prepared my pitch for each and every one of them.
So far, I’ve pleaded my case for six of them on three streaming services. And while I have yet to land on an option both Luke and I seem excited about, I do realize he hasn’t actually said “no” to any of my suggestions.
Just the usual grunts and shrugs that he reserves for the rest of our friend group.
I tap my phone to check the time. “Look, it’s almost midnight. If we don’t pick something soon, I’m going to be watching the inside of my eyelids instead.” I tap my phone one more time to make sure I haven’t missed any calls or messages.
Nothing.
“Oh, crap. Hold on.” Luke stands suddenly and makes his way to the front door.
He flips up a switch that looks different from the rest of the light switches in the house, and my phone starts to buzz uncontrollably.
“This place is a dead zone for cell signal, which was fine by me when I bought the place. But I figured it might be necessary to have access to the outside world when absolutely necessary, so I had a cell booster installed. I keep it off since I’m usually up here to be alone.
Should have remembered to turn it on when we got home. But I guess I was, uh, distracted.”
I point in his direction. “Memory loss! It’s the only thing I’ve asked of you. And for a place to stay, I guess. And your hoodie. And to watch The Parent Trap, but the most important one on that list right now is memory loss, Luke.”
“I’ll get us some water while you decide whether you want to tackle those messages tonight.”
Oh, right. That.
Between my cozy socks, soft hoodie and the comfy couch, I’ve almost forgotten that I imploded my life less than eight hours ago.
The power of self-care, I suppose.
I decide to bite the bullet and at least try to prioritize responses for the people that need them most.
Thank God Luke turned on the cell booster when he did, because it seems as though Nick was close to sending the National Guard our way.
I shoot him a quick text letting him know that I’m fine and should have regular phone service from here on out. But if I happen to lose signal, he should not send a small rescue team my way, since I am safe and sound.
He of course bombarded me with rapid fire responses, but Luisa’s “I’ll handle him, glad you’re safe and taking time for yourself” text seemed to have settled my dear older brother.
Next, I wince at the number of messages I’ve received from my father. It’s sad that he’s texted me more today than he has in the last two years.
FATHER:
Make sure not to wear too much makeup. There are many publications here, ready to cover the wedding story on their front pages.
FATHER:
The wedding planner cannot find you. Where have you taken off to? Now is not the time for theatrics, Daisy.
FATHER:
Are you still in the building?? The guests are becoming restless and it’s not polite to keep us waiting. Today isn’t all about you.
FATHER:
Answer your phone this instant. Where are you?
FATHER:
This is embarrassing. The priest had to tell the guests that his organist became ill and is currently looking for a replacement among his staff. We’ve bought you time, but now you need to get here and immediately apologize to Damien and his family for your tardiness.
FATHER:
This is unbecoming for our family, Daisy. We will have words when you finally decide to grace us with your presence.
FATHER:
DAISY
FATHER:
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU????????
FATHER:
Silly girl. What have you done?
FATHER:
Seems like you have more of your brother’s antics in you than I thought.
Not that you deserve to know, but the guests have been informed that no wedding will be taking place today, and we will be reaching out with further information soon.
Damien has handled himself with grace throughout this ordeal.
You better come back on your hands and knees and hope he gives you the opportunity to make this right.
I’ve never been more disappointed in you.
“All right, that’s enough.” The phone is snatched out of my hands. Not that I could really read anymore through my tears. “Daisy, talk to me. Are you okay?”
Luke sits next to me, pulling my hands into his rough, calloused ones. The feeling shouldn’t be as comforting as it is, but I find myself leaning into his side for support.
“Want me to turn off the cell booster? Or we can make things simpler by blocking him. No one deserves to speak to you that way and continue to have access to you.” His hands gently squeeze mine, but the ferocity in his eyes is anything but soft.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.