Chapter 15
fifteen
What in the actual fuck?
I’m trying to focus on the movie Daisy picked for us tonight, but I can’t stop replaying our conversation earlier.
She didn’t love him.
They never had sex.
Not that it would have mattered to me, since Daisy is a grown woman and should be worshipped every second of every day. But knowing that she’s been deprived of pleasure for all her life makes me want to throw my fist through a wall.
The fact that I haven’t touched anyone since I first laid eyes on her makes it feel like some cruel joke from the universe that has already done a number on me.
Had I known the details of their relationship or her lack of satisfaction, maybe I could have helped her talk through her feelings. She might have come to a conclusion about that doomed relationship sooner.
Or maybe I’d have been too blinded by the possibility of being the first man to make her come and gone insane—
“Do you think any less of me now that you know the truth?” She interrupts my thoughts.
My response is delayed since I’m slightly distracted by her long curly hair.
She took a lengthy shower after dinner and came out with her hair in a wet bun.
Throughout the night, she’s unraveled it bit by bit, and now she’s shaking the curls out, creating a stunning halo around her delicate face.
And the fact that she’s wearing my hoodie again, even though I bought her more than enough clothes to wear, isn’t helping my concentration.
“What? Of course not.”
“Most people would assume I’m a brainless bot, following some weird Stepford wife handbook.”
“Well, I’ve never been accused of acting like most people. And I take that as a compliment.”
She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. I feel so dumb, especially since I was well aware that my brother and my friends could see that I wasn’t happy. No matter how hard I tried to put on a happy face. Everyone knew, and I beat that dead horse until I couldn’t. Until I ran. Like a coward.”
I slam my glass of water on the coffee table a little harder than intended. “Yeah, you’re going to have to do me a favor and stop talking about yourself like that. Otherwise I’m gonna have to do something about it.”
She lifts a questioning brow. “Oh yeah? Like what? Force me to recite words of affirmation to myself in the mirror?”
I bite my tongue. Because none of the thoughts that ran through my mind were close to being appropriate.
Her eyes narrow as she scoffs. “There it is again.” She stands, but I manage to pull her back down by the back of my hoodie.
But instead of the couch, she ends up landing on my spread open legs. Any higher on my lap and she’d have felt my dick twitch at her proximity.
She gasps as she repeatedly looks at my face and where she’s fallen to. “I’m on your lap.”
“Great observation skills.”
“I-I should move. Um, right?”
I shrug. “You’ve got legs. Use them if you want. Or don’t,” I challenge. “Now what were you going off about before you almost stomped out the room?”
She crosses her arms, eyes drifting down once more before she meets mine, staying put. “I wasn’t stomping.”
I almost smile. She’s being defiant. Stubborn. All the things she’s never allowed herself to be.
“Why are you smiling like a weirdo?”
Whoops.
“I like seeing this side of you, that’s all. Now tell me what’s got your panties in a bunch.”
“You can’t say stuff like that when you’ve actually bought all my panties. I’m sure there’s a rule somewhere about that,” she mumbles.
“Ah, yes. Another rule. You just love following all of those, don’t you?” I tease. “Now go on.”
She bites her lip. “Well, now it seems silly.”
“I’m waiting.”
She throws her hands up, causing her ass to move down farther to my crotch, and I internally curse.
“Fine. Earlier you held back from saying something. Just like my brother and all of my friends do. They think I don’t see when they have silent conversations with their eyes.
I act like I don’t notice because I don’t want to make things awkward.
But… but it makes me angry. No—frustrated.
Because everyone acts like they have to treat me with kid gloves.
Like I’m this fragile little Daisy that is going to wither away if I’m told the cold, hard truth to my face.
” She huffs as she studies me, looking for a reaction.
“I don’t think you’re fragile, Daisy. In fact, we all know you’re strong as hell. I mean, you had to deal with Nick as an older brother all of your life. For that alone you deserve the Nobel Peace prize,” I joke.
She shakes her head sadly. “No, you don’t get it.
” She sighs. “For so long, I’ve been ‘Nick’s little sister’ or ‘the youngest Stonehaven,’ but never just Daisy.
No one looks at me as a woman in control who can make her own decisions.
And trust me, I know that I’ve done things to help me earn that reputation, but sometimes I wish people wouldn’t censor themselves around me.
Or try to placate me. Hell, I’d settle for the truth, knowing it’d hurt my feelings because it meant I was respected enough to be spoken to straight up.
But instead, I get the proverbial pats on the head and patronizing smiles. ”
“Daze—”
“I love my brother, really, I don’t know that I would have made it this far in life if he weren’t a constant fixture by my side. But I fear I’m always going to be playing the role of little sister to him.” She deflates slightly.
I try to control my breathing. What I want to say and do are at odds. I’ve spent the entirety of our friendship keeping my thoughts about her hidden. I slipped earlier during dinner, but even that could be played off as a hypothetical.
A very descriptive and sexual hypothetical.
But now I need to brace myself. Because what I say next will have no chance at being misinterpreted.
I slowly turn her face toward mine with my thumb and forefinger.
“Daisy, I’m sorry you’ve felt that way. And I apologize for any part I’ve played in exacerbating those feelings.
” She nods, opening her mouth to speak. But I don’t need another autopilot response from her.
No, I need her to listen for exactly what she asked for.
“But I need to be crystal clear here. I don’t see you as some fragile kid sister who can’t endure the hard things in life.
Do I want to shield and protect you from anything that might cause you harm?
Absolutely. A frightening amount, actually.
But when I look at you, I’m not thinking about your last name.
Honestly, half the time you’re talking, I can barely remember my own. ”
“What do you—”
I chuckle darkly. “Daisy. If you shift your ass any higher, you’re gonna feel exactly how I feel about you, and that should answer your concerns about me thinking you’re too fragile. Because there is nothing soft or gentle about the thoughts running through my mind when you’re sitting on my lap.”
Her cheeks brighten, but she doesn’t move an inch. Her eyes drop and I feel her tense the exact moment she spots the outline of my hard cock pressed along my thigh.
I test my luck and lean forward to speak into her ear. “If unfiltered responses are what you want from me, then that’s exactly what you’ll get.”
I feel her tremble, and I know for damn sure she’s not cold in my hoodie.
“You good there, Daze?”
She nods repeatedly.
“If you keep looking at it, it’s only going to get bigger.”
Her ass is off my lap as if it’s been lit on fire. “I—I wasn’t, um—”
I tsk. “The no bullshitting goes both ways, Daisy.”
I stand too, keeping my eyes on her roaming ones as I readjust myself.
“I, uh—” She waves at my crotch. “Well, I’ve, um—”
“Out with it.”
“Okay, fine. I’ve never seen one that big before, happy?”
“Very. But you haven’t actually seen it, just to be clear.”
Now she’s bright red, and I’m dying to know if the rest of her body flushes a pretty pink under different circumstances.
But I’m not going to push it, especially since from now on all she’ll get from me is God’s honest truth, no matter how filthy that may be.
“Now sit your fine ass down on the couch and keep watching your movie.” I walk away, needing a moment for my dick to calm down.
“Wh-where are you going?” I hear the slight desperation in her voice, and it perks my cock right back up.
“To get you a bowl of cereal.”
And attempt to find wherever I left a sliver of my sanity.