Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
SUMMER
I’m gonna be sick.
It feels like my body is spinning as we stand by the cabin. Lights flash, and smoke pours from the trees still currently burning. The acrid smell of half burnt shingles infiltrates the air, and my ears start to ring.
Running toward the lake, I bend over, and everything in my stomach empties as I choke, trying to breathe through the violence of it. Someone starts to rub my back and I push them away with a small cry, falling to my hands and knees desperate for air.
“Shhhh, in for three, hold for three, out for three,” they coach, and eventually I calm enough to realize it’s Indy next to me.
“I’m sorry I pushed you, I didn’t–”
“It’s okay,” she says from beside me in the sand.
She’s careful to avoid my vomit as she shifts, and brushes my hair from my face.
“This isn’t before, we both made it out, no one was hurt.
Look at me, Summer.” She demands gently.
I don’t even remember closing my eyes, only the feeling of my body revolting, but I open them and stare into hers.
“We’re safe, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper.
Once I can stand, she snakes her hands around my sides and rests her head on my chest. The feeling of her in my arms, solid and safe, is all I need in this moment.
I wish I could hold her forever, but Indy’s parents run over spouting off questions in rapid succession.
She fields them as best she can, with muffled answers as her tears soak into my shirt.
Once Hartley’s ready, we recount what happened, and she demands that we stay with Indy’s parents until whoever is doing this has been caught.
“Grab whatever you think you’ll need.” Hartley says as we carefully make our way back into the cabin.
I need this to stop.
I need Indy to be safe.
I need whoever is doing this to stop being a fucking coward hiding behind letters and texts.
Throwing everything I can think of into bags, I pack for Indy too.
I don’t want her to have to see all the damage that will have to be repaired.
She loves this cabin so much, and now it’s been defiled by my past, and whoever wants to see me suffer.
The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and when I step outside and see the officers standing around, I erupt.
“Listen, Sheriff, I understand you said there’s nothing more you can tell me, but for fuck’s sake, when will there be anything? You’ve had two deputies stationed here every night for the past two weeks, and this still fucking happened! Are you even trying to find out who’s doing this?”
I’m yelling, which I realize isn’t fair, but I could have lost Indy tonight. I could have lost the one good thing I’ve had in so fucking long, and I’m angry.
“If there was anything definitive…” Hartley says, stopping herself and adjusting her belt she sighs, “We’ve searched every corner of this ranch and nothing seems to be out of place.
Other than the bloody clothes we found, there’s no leads.
But now, we have something to trace. They slipped up, used a phone that we can find. ”
“I fucking hope so,” I snap, throwing our bags over my shoulder and walking out the door.
Maneuvering around the charred parts of the porch, I make it to where Indy and her parents are waiting by the buggy. Throwing our bags in, Indy’s mom wraps her arms around my shoulders and hugs me tight.
“Mama,” Indy sighs. “We’re okay.”
Are we?
The second I get her alone, I’ll make sure she’s not holding onto this. Like she did for me after spilling my past, now it’s my turn to hold onto her. When Mrs. Turner lets me go, she pats my cheek and gives me a small smile that I return because I needed that hug more than I thought.
“You folks can go, but we’ll be here a bit longer, I’d like to make sure there are no more spot fires in the woods.” Hartley says, looking over where the fire department’s sifting through the soot of the forest. “If you think of anything more, don’t hesitate to call.”
We already told her everything, including what Indy found when she followed the trail of scorched grass, so we leave without a reply and head to the big house.
Mr. and Mrs. Turner make sure we’re settled before they head downstairs to their room. It’s surreal being in Indy’s childhood bedroom. There are still posters up on the walls of pop stars from our youth, looking down at us as we lay down on her queen sized bed.
It’s cozy, and charming, and full of… her.
“How are you doing, really?” I ask, once we’re alone.
Face-to-face on our sides, she brushes a strand of hair back from my face.
“I should be asking you that. You must’ve been so scared…” She trails off, but I know what she was going to say. That this was the second time I almost died in a fire.
Deciding to give her the most honest truth I have, I say, “The only thing I was scared of was losing you, Honey.”
“I built that place with my Papa,” she whispers, her smile small and short-lived. “It means more to me than anything else on the ranch… well, except for Echo. I just can’t wrap my head around who would want to hurt you. What are we missing?” She asks, eyes soft and round.
“I really don’t know. I wish I had a better answer, something that could give you hope that whoever’s doing this can be stopped, but I can’t.
” I hate that I can’t, but I’m not about to start lying to her again.
“Hartley thinks she can trace them by their last message. Which reminds me, she took my phone.”
Indy nods and snuggles into me, placing her head under my chin. She must be exhausted because her breaths soon even out, and I wrap her up as close as I can without cutting off her air.
“I’m so sorry, Honey,” I whisper against her head before I fall asleep too.
River’s at the door the next day, eyes wide when they see us. Running over to Indy, they throw their arms around her and hold on tight.
Indy rubs their back with one hand, the other still firmly clutched in mine.
“We’re okay,” she says, even though both of us barely slept last night. But I know how it feels to be afraid to sleep, so I’m willing to give her a little bit of space before asking her to be honest with me.
Untangling herself from River, Indy steps back into my side and squeezes my hand.
“I heard all the commotion, but the police told us to stay in our cabins, and then I saw the fire. Indy, I’m so sorry…” River trails off and shakes their head.
“Me too,” Indy says, her voice filled with sadness. “Not your fault though, no sense in apologizin’.”
“I think Mrs. Turner may have some breakfast cooked and ready to take down to the mess hall,” I offer in the awkward silence that follows.
They both nod and soon we’re loading the buggy up with all the things Mrs. Turner prepared. I don’t know how she does it every week. Cooking for so many people and keeping everyone fed.
The mess hall has become our sort of gathering spot, even Mr. and Mrs. Harris join us for most meals now. Jare is in and out, I think he’s been sneaking off to meet someone, but I can’t prove it. Sometimes he comes back with a lovesick smile plastered on his face, and others he’s angry as a hornet.
“Can I talk to you?” River asks, surprising me by the trash can. They tilt their head toward the outside door and I follow. We walk in silence as they lead me out toward the cabin they’ve been staying in, but don’t go up the stairs.
“This is some cloak and dagger shit, River,” I’m mostly joking.
They lift their shoulders to their ears and slowly let them down with a breath. “I’m worried. Somethin’s up with Zaye.”
“Okay… and?” I try, because I have no idea why they thought I was the person for this. Zaye hasn’t exactly made her suspicion of me a secret.
“And, I don’t know what to do.”
“And you thought, ‘yeah, Summer’s the perfect person to go to for relationship advice’.” I’m not trying to be rude, it’s only, well, I don’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships, but I guess River wouldn’t know that.
They shake their head and chuckle a little, “I just don’t want to add anythin’ more to Indy’s plate. But somethin’s not right with Zaye. She hasn’t been acting like herself the past few days. It’s almost like she’s depressed.”
“I’m not sure–”
“I know you don’t know her well, so this is kind of a shot in the dark, but could you, I don’t know, maybe talk to her?” Their face tells me they’re really worried, and I’ve been there, so I throw them a bone.
“I’ll try my best.”
I can’t seem to catch Zaye anywhere. For days, it’s like she’s avoiding me, or she’s disappeared… Which really spikes my concern, considering two counselors have gone missing, and two buildings have been vandalized.
I’ve just finished with the last of the cleaning in the barn, and Jare rubs a hand over his forehead before tipping his hat my way and climbing up the ladder to his loft.
“You two really busted your asses today,” Mr. Turner says from the big sliding door. “Oh the blessings of youth. There’s no way Mr. Harris and I could have gotten all this ready in the time you two did.”
Mr. Turner has always been a steady sort of presence, ever since I showed up on the Turner’s porch. It’s like he could see the lost person I tried to mask.
“I can’t thank you enough, Mr. Turner.” Shaking my head, I cover my smile and try again. “I mean, for taking me in, and now letting me stay with your daughter. I know–”
He holds up a hand, smiling and looking right at me. “Summer, everyone has a period of time when they feel lost. I’m glad we could help you find yourself here on the ranch.”
His words are like a blow to my gut. I hadn’t realized I was waltzing around here like a wounded bird.
With a chuckle he says, “It’s not a bad thing, sometimes we need an extra push is all.”
With his parting words of wisdom, he walks past the barn door and soon there are hooves hitting the dirt.
“You ready to call it a day?” Indy’s voice catches me as I’m shutting down the barn. All the horses are now safely tucked away in their stalls.
Turning toward her, my lips tip up in joy, and I know I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure it stays this way.