Chapter 42
FORTY-TWO
INDY
“What do you mean, it’s not that?” I’m not sure I’m catching whatever it is River isn’t saying, but they’re looking at me like I should know.
River takes a deep breath and leans back, shaking their head. “I know it might be rude but, could we talk in private, Indy?”
Summer surprises me by shaking her head. “No one thinks that’s rude, right?” She eyes Santi and Kiri, and they both have sheepish looks but they nod.
I could kiss her. I will kiss her. Later.
Time and place Indy, for fuck’s sake.
“We can talk after dinner, does that sound okay?” I don’t blame them for wanting to be alone when we talk, I know gossip around here spreads like wildfire.
River nods and we all continue eating, though the whole table has a sort of cloud hanging over it now. I’m nervous to know what River has to say, but I trust it’s not harmful to anyone here, or to the ranch. So, I refocus the conversation to Saturday and what the counselors have planned.
“We’re heading to the last rodeo night, then we’re planning on going to The Raven.” Santi says, finishing his plate and rubbing his stomach. “You can both come too!”
My birthday is Sunday, and I’m not trying to be hung over for it. With a chuckle I shake my head, “I’ll pass this time, I’ve got plans with Lucy, but Summer might want to join.”
Everyone looks her way, and she shrugs. “I’ll think about it.”
Kiri rolls her eyes and winks my way, “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her.”
We all laugh and once our plates are clear, we all go our separate ways. Everyone except River, they motion to the doors, and when I catch Summer’s eye, she nods and continues helping Mama with clean up.
“I don’t know if Zaye has had a chance to talk to you yet,” they start as we walk without a destination.
“But… a few weeks ago she found Molly burning some of Finn’s things, and since then she hasn’t been the same.
She’s side-eyeing everyone, acting jumpy and paranoid… I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
I pause, trying to respond in the best way possible. “Have you tried askin’ her what’s going on?”
River closes their eyes, “I have, but things have been tense. She almost seems afraid of how I’ll react, so she’s just holding it all inside.”
“I’m sorry.” Laying my hand on their shoulder, I offer them the best comfort I can. “Would you mind if I talked to her?”
“I was actually hoping you would.” When we get to their cabin, Zaye is sitting on the steps, and River walks up to whisper something in her ear. Zaye looks at me and I can see the turmoil behind her red rimmed eyes.
“Oh, Zaye,” I sigh.
She stands and walks down the stairs, wrapping her arms around me and crying into my neck, “I’m sorry.”
Rubbing her back, we stand like that until her shoulders stop shaking and she takes a step back.
“I–I’ve been kind of rude to Summer,” she sniffles but clears her throat and continues, “I’m scared, and I don’t understand why this is happening, and no one will tell us anything.
I had that fight with Molly before she disappeared, and then the barn and now your cabin.
I just wanted to have another summer like the last.”
“I understand,” I tell her, stepping back and looking up where River disappeared into the cabin. “And if you want to leave, I won’t stop you. Everyone deserves to feel safe, and I can make all the promises in the world but the honest truth is… I can’t guarantee it.”
She nods and starts to cry again, “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t let things build up.
At first when Molly went missing, I thought that maybe she just ran away.
I said some awfully mean things to her, but she’s been gone so long now, and I feel like it’s my fault because I didn’t say anything.
I was trying to protect River because they weren’t ready to go public with our relationship yet.
They were worried about how you might think their work ethic could change, or that the other counselors would say I was getting special treatment… ”
“Zaye,” I sigh, “I couldn’t be happier for y’all, honestly.
And I’ve known River long enough to know they will always be good at their job.
This year, camp’s been more difficult to navigate with all the stuff going on, but you two stayed and helped my family.
That’s something I’ll never be able to repay. ”
She looks up with a watery smile and nods, holding out her hands. Taking them, she nods and a few tears trail down her cheek. “What if something awful has happened to Molly, and Finn?”
I motion for Zaye to sit on the stairs and join her there.
“I’ve been down that mental road, and it just leads to stressin’ over things we can’t change.
We have to trust that the police are doin’ their jobs.
All we can do is keep this ranch runnin’ and the horses happy, and maybe find love somewhere we weren’t lookin’ for it.
” I nudge her in the ribs and she smiles.
“I’m worried I can’t think rationally,” she laughs, but it’s not the funny kind. “I want to be confident like River, but I’m struggling.”
I nod, grateful that she told me, and a little sad still knowing how much this is impacting her. “I know things have been way less than ideal around here, and I think we could all use a bit of River’s confidence right now.”
She sighs and sniffles, “I trust you to do what’s best for us, truly, I do. So if you think it’s safe to stay, I’d like to.”
“I can’t tell you it’s one hundred percent safe because I don’t know what this person wants, but I can tell you I’ll do my best to keep you out of harm’s way.
I also wouldn’t blame you if you want to leave, you know that right?
” I ask, just to make certain she knows she’s fully free to go.
“Maybe I should just make y’all go home. ”
Shaking her head, her pink hair flies across her face as she looks up at River, standing in the doorway of the cabin. “No ma’am, I’m where I need to be.”