Chapter 41
FORTY-ONE
SUMMER
Ihave to fix this.
There’s no doubt in my mind that she loves me, even though she hasn’t said it.
It’s the only reason she looked so wrecked when she unleashed her thoughts.
The guilt I feel over her words threatens to crush me and send me packing.
The only reason I’m not is because I can’t see myself anywhere else.
I know I’ve only been here for a short amount of time, but this is it for me.
She is everything to me.
I’ve been lost for so long, and now this place feels like home. I’m not giving it up.
I’m going to find out who’s behind this, and end it.
Mrs. Turner hollers when I walk in the door, her voice muffled by the fan over the stove. Popping my head into the kitchen I smile and wave waiting for her to see me. I don’t want her thinking some random person just walked into her house.
She smiles and waves back, “Dinner's just about ready!”
“I’m just gonna go wash up,” I reply as I head up the stairs to the room Indy and I are sharing. I pull my bag out from under the bed and dig through it for my sketchbook. Hartley took all the original notes, but I sketched them before I could forget.
Like a morbid curiosity thing maybe.
Ripping the pages out, I lay them on the bed in the order I received them since I got here.
Bold letters jump out at me, but nothing screams who.
Who could be doing all of this? The common denominator appears to be me, but the focus shifted after I failed to meet with them. They escalated. They stopped leaving threatening notes, and became destructive and angry. They started targeting not only me, but Indy, too.
They couldn’t get me, so they went after the people here.
Maybe that’s the key to all of this. Maybe I need to be at that spot, at that time, and I might find some answers.
I’m not sure I can convince Indy this is a good idea, so hopefully she’ll sleep through my escape. Until then, everything needs to be normal. Scooping the drawings up, I stuff them back into my bag and open the sketch I’m working on for Indy’s birthday.
Lucy’s already put the plan into motion, though that’s not the only reason I asked Indy why she keeps denying herself a life.
She has this habit of turning things down, even though it’s clear she wants to do them. It’s one of the first things I noticed when I started here. She tried to do it with me. Thank fuck I’m too persistent.
I know she’s stressed, and scared, and that’s why she lashed out, and even though it hurt, I understand it. My hope is that maybe saying it out loud will get her to realize the truth of it. She needs to loosen her grip on this place, she needs to trust her people.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I head down just in time to help Mr. and Mrs. Turner load up the buggy with dinner. Indy’s there, already situated in the back. When she looks up she gives me a small smile, but it’s threaded with anguish.
“Honey?” I ask, I know she’s probably still spiraling about all the things she said earlier, and I’m hoping she’ll let me tell her I get it. So much has happened this summer, sure, not all of it good, but not all of it bad either.
Looking at the front seat and then back at me, she raises her brows and I get the hint. She doesn’t want to talk in front of her parents. That’s fair, and I’ll respect it.
Her dad drives the buggy with way more grace than me, and when we arrive Jare and Mr. Harris grab trays and head inside.
Indy places her hand on my leg, stopping me from getting out. Her mother gives her a look that is universal mom language and Indy says, “Well be inside in a minute.”
“Don’t wait too long,” Mr. Turner says, ushering his wife into the building.
Indy takes a deep breath and grabs my hands. “I’m sorry for dumping all of that on you, it’s not your fault, I know that.”
“Indy,” I smile down at her.
“I shouldn’t have said all those things. I was flustered, and I’m scared, and I took it out on you–”
“Indy–”
“Please just let me get this out,” she pleads but I’m not having it.
“You did nothing wrong. You told me how you felt, and it was all true, I’m not upset with you for feeling the way you do.”
“But I don’t want you to think, that I think you’re some bad omen, or at fault for this mess.
You’ve been such a big part of the ranch this season, and you’ve done more work than you were ever told to do, and it means more to me than you’ll ever know, and I know we’ve only been together for a few weeks but I–”
Stopping her by brushing my knuckles over her cheeks before I hold her face in my hands, I softly kiss her lips. “I love you too, Honey.”
Her eyes spring up to mine and her lips quiver. “I really love you,” she hiccups, “and I thought for sure you were walking away earlier because you thought I blamed you, and I’d never get the chance to tell you.”
With a chuckle, and using my thumb to wipe the tears that escape her eyes, I whisper, “I don’t think I could ever walk away from you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise, Honey. You’re stuck with me.” The moment the words leave my mouth she hugs me, and I hold her until her tears stop and she’s ready to go inside.
When we walk in, Indy’s beaming face scans the crowd, and I note everyone already has their food.
We make our plates, fill our cups and sit with the rest of the counselors.
River and Zaye sit side by side, with Santi and Kiri on the other side.
Which means Indy and I will have to split since it’s three seats to a bench.
She slides onto the bench beside River, and I take the seat next to Santi so we’re across from each other.
“So, what’s the plan for Saturday?” River asks, and Santi starts bouncing, vibrating the whole bench.
“Calm down,” I chuckle.
“I’m down for whatever,” Santi says, shoveling a pile of mashed potatoes into his mouth. “As long as I don’t have to be the designated driver.”
All of us laugh, but Zaye gets up, and walks over to the trash to throw her food away. River looks down at their own plate and shakes their head. “She’s thinkin’ about headin’ home.”
Indy looks up at me, then looks around the table. “I wouldn’t blame any of y’all if you wanted to leave.”
Kiri leans onto the table, elbows firmly on the wooden surface, “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
Indy smiles and Santi grabs Kiri’s hand. “I’d miss my bunkie if you did.”
Kiri rolls her eyes but I catch the smile on her face as she knocks his shoulder with hers.
“Why now?” I ask River, considering it’s been a few days since the fire.
“She’s scared,” They whisper, as if they’re sharing information that they promised not to.
“If she wants to leave, that’s her choice,” Indy says, turning to face River.
They shake their head and their shoulders roll in. “It’s not that.”