Chapter 35
Buzzing wakes me up, and I groan, reaching over to turn my alarm off.
Swiping up my phone, I glare at it, my vision blurry without my glasses, because it won’t shut off. What the hell? Squinting at the brightness of my phone screen, I realize it’s only four am. Why the hell is my alarm going off at four am?
A heavy, deep sigh from behind me makes me go still, my heart pounding in my ears. Oh shit. Xander…
The mattress shifts beneath his weight as he rolls over to the other side and then the light of his phone screen glows as he lays back down behind me, and I realize it was Xander’s phone ringing, not my alarm.
“Yeah?” is his only answer as he picks up the call. His voice is rough and husky from sleep, and he doesn’t try to hide the fact that he just woke up to whoever is calling at this ungodly hour. I lower myself back to my pillow and half turn onto my back, glancing at him over my shoulder. “Oregon? How many acres? Shit. Okay.”
Leaning up onto his elbow, he rolls toward me, planting a kiss to the tip of my bare shoulder. It sends my heart skittering in my chest, and those butterflies in my belly are currently at a rave. He’s listening to whoever is on the other end of the phone, but his lips are dragging along the back of my bicep and my shoulder.
He nips at the tip of my shoulder, making me gasp into the darkness of the room. “I’ll let the crew know. Thanks, Marty. We’ll be on the road in a few hours.”
My heart sinks. I don’t want him to go. I like having him here, and now I have to let him leave. How do Scottie and Vi do it? I thought I’d have a few more days to come to terms with all of this before the inevitable happened. I know he has this job, I know he loves this job. But dammit, I’m selfish and I want him safe. Here. With me.
The call is disconnected and he tosses his phone away a second before his hand slides beneath the covers and across my naked body. Curving his arm around my waist, he pulls my back against his chest, his mouth dipping low to settle on the crook of my neck and shoulder. I sigh, settling against him, though my heart is hammering in my chest at the feel of his hard length against my ass. He grinds against me, groaning into the curve of my neck.
“I’m not going to lie, I like waking up like this,” he whispers against my skin, tightening his arm around my waist. He palms my breast, squeezing lightly.
“Yeah?” I ask breathily. “Like what?”
“With you,” he rasps. “Naked.”
“So if I were wearing clothes you wouldn’t like it?” I tease, my voice reedy and thin as he plucks at my nipple.
“Not at all, it would just take longer to get to this—” he murmurs, sliding his hand down my body until he’s cupping my pussy. He groans low, the sound rumbling against my back and in my ear. His fingers slide inside easily. My back arches and my thighs fall apart, giving him better access. “You were fucking made for me, Teddy. So wet. So soft. So tight. ”
Rolling us until I’m flat on my stomach, he stretches out over my back, his knees digging into the mattress on either side of mine. Reaching between us, he slides his hand across the curve of my ass, then slips his fingers between my thighs. Stacking my arms beneath my head, I press my cheek to them.
“Can I fuck you like this?” he asks against my temple. I nod, shifting my hips and then I moan as the broad, blunt head of his cock is pressing at the entrance of my pussy. “Are you sore? I don’t want to hurt you?—”
“No,” I whisper, turning my head so I can look at him over my shoulder. “Please, Xander. Stop treating me like I’m breakable.”
“As you wish, Mama,” he groans darkly just before his teeth sink into the meaty part of my shoulder. I muffle the cry of pain into the mattress and then an ecstasy filled moan is torn from my lips as he slams inside, all the way to the hilt. He gives me just a moment to adjust before he’s hammering into me with deep, hard thrusts. “Holy fuck, Teddy. Goddamn you’re so fucking perfect. You take my cock so good, beautiful. So fucking good.”
One of his hands slides beneath me to grip the front of my throat in his palm. Fingers tightening just a little, I moan again at the wickedness of it all. So vastly different than anything I’ve ever experienced. Not to say that sex with my husband was bad, but it was nothing like this. So entirely consuming and dear god the man knows what he’s doing. The angle at which he’s fucking me is hitting that spot that makes my legs shake and my toes curl.
“I need you to come. Soak my cock with your cum so I can paint you with mine,” he rasps harshly, his hips never relenting in the pace he’s set.
My fingers are fisted in the sheet beneath us. His filthy words send me over the edge.
“Xander,” I pant, my voice muffled by the hand still wrapped around my throat. I’m so close .
“Yes, beautiful?” he asks, pressing his mouth to my jaw. His chest is pressed tight to my back and I can feel every ripple of muscle that bunches and strains with each of his powerful movements. He groans, low and primal. Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I cry out, my body hurtling toward release. “Oh fuck, I can feel you, Mama. You’re doing so good, taking my cock so deep. Good girl. Good fucking girl, Teddy.”
Burying my face in the mattress, I try not to scream, but the orgasm that rips through me is so intense I’m afraid I might pass out. Stars burst behind my tightly closed eyelids and then his hand disappears from my throat. Panting brokenly, I sob as my body shakes and trembles, toes curling.
Arms rigid as he holds himself over my back, his hips slap into mine once, twice more, before he stills with a groan that’s more of a growl in the back of his throat. He comes in long spurts, filling me, and I shudder at the feel of him pulsing inside of me.
“Ohmygod. Ohmygod, Xander …”
Lowering until his chest is pressed to my back once more, he sucks in heaving breaths behind me, wrapping his arms around my body, sliding them beneath my chest to hold me close. His lips trail across the back of my neck, my shoulder. My face is still buried in the sheet and I’m a panting, trembling mess.
“Goddamn, Teddy. You’re so perfect, sweetheart. So fucking perfect .”
I start to laugh, then groan, as the motion squeezes my inner walls around his length that’s still buried inside me. A blush spreads across my cheeks. “I’ve made a mess on my sheets.”
“I think that’s a joint effort on the mess,” he chuckles, then kisses the back of my neck again before sliding out of me. I blush again.
“No, not that,” I whisper, shifting onto my elbows before sitting up. I roll my lips between my teeth. Bea slept through the night and the intense orgasm triggered a letdown… Twin wet sp ots have bloomed on the sheet beneath me where my breasts had been pressed into the mattress. I groan, the ache in my breasts almost painful. I can only hope Bea wakes soon.
He chuckles lightly before dropping his gaze to my chest. Trailing his fingers down between my breasts, he then circles one nipple that’s currently leaking. My face is hot with embarrassment, but the hunger and intensity in his gaze stuns me. Using his finger and thumb, he plucks at the hard bud and a feral growl rumbles out of his throat as droplets wet his fingers. “Goddamn this is so fucking sexy.”
I laugh hesitantly, biting my lip even as he continues to stroke my breasts, staring at me like he can’t get enough.
Raising his eyes to mine, he points to the baby monitor on the other side of the bed where the night vision camera is pointed at her crib in Penny’s room. “She just started wiggling. Do you want me to go get her?”
“Umm, not yet,” I whisper, blushing again. “I need to clean up, first.”
Xander hands me my robe that he’d tossed to the floor the night before, and I pull it on my arms as I slide out of the bed. I grimace lightly, squeezing my thighs together.
Stepping in front of me, he frames my face with his hands and tips my face up toward his so he can peck light, sipping kisses to my lips. “I’m probably a caveman for saying this, but I very much like the idea of my cum dripping out of you right now.”
I roll my eyes, splaying my hands wide on his still bare chest. He’s pulled his boxer briefs on, but that’s all. He drops his hands to the curve of my ass, squeezing and kneading.
“Go get yourself cleaned up,” he whispers.
I nod, blushing again, then sidestep around him and head out the bedroom door to the bathroom. By the time I’m done and washing my hands, I can hear Bea fussing lightly. I rush out of the bathroom to get to her before she wakes up Penny, but I’m brought up short when Xander quietly exits Penny’s room and closes the door almost silently. Bea is cradled against his chest. He smiles over at me as I come to stand in front of him, and the sight does something to my heart. Dammit I’m in so much trouble.
“There’s Mama,” he whispers softly to my infant, who has now seen me and is seconds away from full meltdown mode.
I take her quickly, then shrug one shoulder of my robe down. It snags on my arm, so Xander tugs it the rest of the way down until one breast is bare. Settling Bea in the crook of my arm, her little mouth is searching, and Xander surprises me further by reaching out his hand and lifting my breast gently, guiding the nipple to Bea’s waiting mouth. When she latches on, I sigh and he trails his fingertips down Bea’s soft cheek almost reverently. The look of pure adoration on his face is nearly my undoing. I’m so screwed.
“Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?” he asks quietly, raising that hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I rest my cheek in his palm and nod. “I’ve never not wanted to go out for a fire call, Teddy. You’re making this really fucking difficult.”
My heart sinks again and I close my eyes as he strokes my cheek with his thumb. I don’t know what we’re doing. How either of us are going to make this work seems impossible to me. I’m trying not to sink into a panic attack at the thought of him leaving. Scottie is right, asking him to give up something that makes him happy, something that he loves, simply because I’m a coward, isn’t fair.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, opening my eyes and raising them to his.
“Don’t apologize,” he murmurs, ducking his head to kiss me. “It just means that I’m going to do everything in my power to get back here as quickly as I can. Because now I’ve got you here waiting for me.”