Chapter 44
I made Teddy go inside her house to tuck her kids into bed while I headed into mine. I’m a filthy, blood stained mess and need to clean myself up.
Stripping out of the borrowed hospital scrub top, my boots, and my now blood stained nomex pants, I do the best I can to wash my body without getting the bandages taped to my right side and wrapped around my right arm wet. I use the handheld shower head to wash the rest of my body, and then bend over the best I can inside the tub to wash my dirty hair and scrub the dirt and soot off my face and neck. Toweling dry, I sling the towel around my neck and venture into the bedroom to find a pair of sweats that are easy to pull on and a clean t-shirt. The burning pain from the cuts is dull and aches even through the pain meds they’d given me in the hospital.
Walking barefoot back to the kitchen, I see out the window as Colleen pulls out of the driveway to head home for the night. Teddy’s two work shifts are over for the week, so Colleen won’t be back until next week.
I grab a beer out of the fridge and pop it open, lifting it to my lips and downing half of it before I cringe and set it down. I’d forgotten about the pain meds. Shit.
Sinking into one of the chairs at the dining table, I pick up the yet unopened envelope that I’ve been staring at for weeks now. I pick it up, carry it with me through the house. Sit and stare at it some more. Now, I pick it up and tap one corner of it on the table in front of me.
I just can’t bring myself to open it. To read it. I don’t want to know what my dads last words are to me. I’d almost thrown it away without opening it, but then had sworn viciously and dug it back out, slapping it down on the counter and stalking off. Leaving it for another day.
I keep telling myself I’ll read it when I get back from the next fire.
And then I get back from the fire and I do this all over again, just staring at it. Just to toss it aside and tell myself ‘after the next fire, I’ll open it’.
A soft, timid knock on the glass patio door turns my head, and I smile before standing. Teddy is there, waiting for me to let her in. My beautiful girl.
She’s got the baby monitor clutched in one hand as she steps inside. I curl my arms around her at the same time she twines hers around my waist gently. We stand like that for a long time, simply breathing each other in, reveling in the closeness. I can feel her heart beating against my chest, the little way her lips flit over my pecs as she presses kisses to where I know she can feel my own heart beating.
“What’s this?” she asks, gesturing to the table where the envelope sits.
I sigh, tightening my arms around her shoulders and pressing my cheek to the top of her head. “It’s a letter from my dad.”
“Your dad?” she whispers, surprise lifting her tone.
I nod. “My brother is moving and found it stuck in with some of his stuff. He sent it back to me, but I haven’t been able to read it.”
“I had a voicemail from Logan that I refused to listen to after he died,” she whispers, spreading her fingers wide across my back. She scoffs lightly. “Once I finally convinced myself to listen to it, I was so mad.”
“What did he say?” I ask, rubbing my uninjured cheek against her head.
She shakes her head, another scoffing laugh escaping her. “Just that he loved me and that he would see me after shift.” I squeeze my arms around her. “I was so angry at him for leaving. For not coming home after the end of that shift. Leaving me alone with our two kids and pregnant with another baby. I deleted it and then cried because I wanted it back.”
I chuckle lightly, rocking us together gently. “You’re not really selling me on reading this letter, sweetheart.”
She shrugs. “You’ll never know until you do.” She tips her chin up so she can look up at me then. “Are you coming to bed?”
Smoothing the fingers of my left hand over her hair, I kiss her chastely. “Probably not tonight, Mama. I’m going to be tossing and turning all night and I don’t want to keep you up.”
“I don’t mind,” she whispers against my lips and I smile. “Please don’t make me sleep without you tonight. I need to know you’re okay, that you’re here.”
I hate that she worries about me, but I know there’s no point in telling her not to. “Okay.”
“No funny business,” she warns, glaring at me adorably. I laugh, reaching around her to turn off the lights.
“If you think a couple cuts will keep me from fucking you tonight, you’re sorely mistaken, beautiful.”
“Xander…”
“Yes, Mama?” I murmur, dragging her into my arms once again. Dropping my mouth to hers, I kiss her thoroughly .
She sighs, her eyelids fluttering open to stare up at me. “That’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“Kissing me to distract me.”
“Is that what I’m doing?” I ask, nipping at her lower lip. She moans, and I smile.
That’s what I thought.
She tugs me by my left hand through the patio door and over to hers. Honestly, her duplex is more my place than my own is at this point. I haven’t slept in my own bed in weeks, and I can’t even lie, I don’t really want to. Wherever she is, is where I want to be, too.
A dim lamp has been kept on in the corner of her bedroom, softly illuminating the room. She sets the baby monitor on the bedside table and then turns toward me, her hands reaching for me.
“I have another idea that will be a little… less exertive… for you,” she whispers, tilting up on her tiptoes to press her mouth to mine.
Her fingers are playing with the bottom hem of my t-shirt, the backs of her fingers teasing the flesh of my abdomen. She raises the t-shirt slowly, drawing her hands along every inch of my abdomen, my ribs, my chest, until I can yank it over my head, letting it fall to the floor. I suck in a breath when those fingers slide back down my abdomen to slip into the waistband of my sweats. I was already half hard—simply kissing her does that to me—but all the blood in my head rushes south at her tentative, teasing touches.
My left hand slides up the side of her neck, thumb wrapping around to collar it from the front, and the little moaning sigh that escapes her lips drives me a little crazy. She’s so fucking receptive, so trusting. I love watching her come to life beneath my fingers, my mouth .
“What did you have in mind, Mama?” I breathe, dragging my mouth across hers over and over.
Her hands flatten on the sides of my waist, fingers sliding inside the waistband of my sweats until her palms are flat against my ass, and then she’s dragging the pants down. I’d forgone underwear because they were too much of a bitch to get on one handed, so as the sweatpants lower, my cock bobs out between us, hard and heavy.
“I want your cock in my mouth,” she whispers, her lips moving against my own.
Goddamn. This woman.
“Yeah?” I ask, the single word ripping out of my throat in a growl. My fingers tighten around her neck, just slightly, at the same time tilting her face up toward mine.
She nods, those gray eyes limpid and silver in the dim light. I can feel her pulse thrumming beneath my fingers.
“You want to suck my cock, Teddy?” She nods again. Fuckkk. “On your knees. Show me how bad you want it.”
I thought I was prepared for the sight of Teddy on her knees in front of me, but nothing could have prepared me for this. Goddamn this woman is incredible. So fucking beautiful. Her golden blonde hair is twisted up into a clip, so I reach out and release it, tossing the clip onto the floor as her hair tumbles down around her shoulders. The only thing that will be holding this hair back are my own hands. Running my fingers along her jaw reverently, I sweep her hair away from her face.
“Open your mouth,” I rasp, taking my cock in my fist and stroking it slowly. She licks her lips and then she does as I ask, sticking her tongue out. I grin wolfishly down at her. “Greedy girl. You want this so bad, don’t you?”
She nods again, and I guide the tip of my shaft to her lips. Her jaw opens wider and I groan as she closes her lips around the tip, her tongue swirling over the head, and then she brushes my hand aside so she can take me deeper .
“Oh fuck,” I rasp, my eyes sliding shut when the tip of my dick reaches the back of her throat. I gather her hair in my left hand, holding it back, twisting my fingers into it and gripping the back of her head as she works me inside her mouth. She’s fucking glorious. My chest heaves with panting, heavy breaths, and I watch her, watch this woman that I’m fucking crazy about.
My hips rock of their own volition, my dick sliding in and out of her mouth. What a fucking sight. I go deep again and she gags around my length, but she doesn’t pull back.
No, this incredible fucking woman just slides her hands around the backs of my thighs and pulls me closer, and then she swallows, the muscles of her throat closing around me.
I see fucking stars.
“Fuck!” I hiss, my mouth falling open. “Holy shit, Teddy. You’re doing so fucking good, Mama. So good .”
She hums around my length and it sends shivers up my spine. She pops off my dick and looks up at me. “Fuck my mouth, Xander. Come on my tongue. Please.”
Fucking marry me.
Gripping the back of her head roughly, I bend low and ignore the sharp twinge in my side so that I can take her mouth in a hard, searing kiss. Her lips are puffy and soft and I taste myself on her. I fight the urge to beat my chest like a neanderthal.
“You want me to fuck this mouth, Teddy?” I growl, nipping her swollen bottom lip between my teeth sharply. She gasps, and then nods frantically. I grin against her mouth. Goddamn I can’t get enough of this woman. Like she was fucking made for me. “You want my cum?”
“Yes,” she gasps, her breathing ragged. Those silver eyes bounce between mine. She’s so beautiful it hurts. She shifts on her knees, pressing her thighs together. Oh, my little Mama likes this a lot. “Please.”
“How can I tell my girl no when she asks so nicely?” I breathe on a dark growl. Straightening, I gather her hair back in my hand again, holding tighter than before. “You keep your eyes on me, Teddy, understand? Do not close your eyes. I want you to watch what you do to me, sweetheart. And when I come down your throat, you better be coming on your fingers.”
Her lips drop open in shock, a blush staining her cheeks prettily. “You want me to…”
“Play with your pussy, Teddy,” I groan, tapping the head of my cock against her lips. She opens for me. “Play with that pretty pink pussy until you come all over your fingers. But do not close your eyes. Eyes on me.”
She nods, her hand disappearing between her thighs and into the sleep shorts she’d already changed into before coming over to my house to find me.
“Now open this mouth and take every inch,” I whisper. I slide myself back between her lips and she hollows her cheeks, sucking me in. “Fucking Christ, Teddy, I’m not going to last with you doing shit like that?—”
She does it again and I growl out a warning. Her silver eyes are twinkling, the little brat. And then she starts circling her clit and I love the way she moans around me at her own pleasure. My grip on the back of her head tightens.
“Ready, Mama?” I ask, and she nods. I unleash, pistoning my hips in short, deep thrusts. She gags again but I don’t stop. Her eyes are on mine, and the sight does me in. She’s just so goddamn beautiful. Every fucking part of her is made for me. She’s shuddering against me, her eyes fluttering closed as she moans, and I know she’s close. Fuck. “I’m going to come, Teddy. Don’t you dare close your eyes. You look at me when you come. You look at me when I give you every last fucking drop?—”
She cries out around my cock, her shoulders trembling as she comes, her thighs shaking where she’s kneeling.
“Yes, Teddy, come on your fingers for me,” I groan, damn near feral at the sight of her coming with my cock in her mouth. She moans, her eyes on mine, glassy and heavy lidded, and then I’m coming with a guttural growl, my vision going dark at the edges with the intensity of my release. Long, hot ropes of cum paint the back of her throat and she swallows every drop like the good girl she is. I shudder, fingers clenching in her hair before sliding out to smooth tenderly over her cheek and jaw as I slide out of her mouth. “Goddamn, my beautiful girl. You did so fucking good.”
I chuckle then, swiping at the corner of her mouth. Her lips are puffy. She’s never looked more beautiful.
“Are you laughing at me?” she asks breathlessly, her voice husky, eyes teasing. “You could damage a girl’s confidence doing something like that?—”
“Fucking brat,” I growl in warning, grinning as I shake my head at her. Leaning down, I kiss her again slowly. “That was the best fucking blowjob I’ve ever gotten. I was just thinking that that was not any less exertive... And now all I want to do is taste this wet pussy and make you come again.”
“Xander—” she moans, protesting, but it’s weak. We both know the night isn’t over yet. Not even close.