Chapter 19
Austin
Today was fun. Just like all the family get-togethers are.
But what made it even better was having Levi there.
Having him on my arm felt amazing. Seeing him smile and laugh, just relaxing and being carefree, was just what he needed.
And seeing him with his family, I knew they all loved having him there.
They’ve missed him, and I think he’s starting to see how much he’s loved by his family.
Since the night I ran into that girl, the daughter of one of my father’s friends, things between Levi and me have been amazing.
It wasn’t just sex, we made love. We connected that night like I’ve never connected with anyone before. It was like I could feel him deep in my soul. I wanted to hold onto that man and never let go.
I know I have to talk to him, to tell him how I feel, but I’m so damn afraid that when he finds out what I’ve done to get him to this point, he’s going to hate me.
I’m just hoping he doesn’t. Because the way Levi looks at me, how he is with me, how he trusts me, I can feel it in my heart that it’s more than just friendship. We have this bond–-this real bond–-that goes beyond friendship.
I’ve fallen so hard for this man; he’s buried his way into my very being. I can’t keep lying to him. We can’t keep letting the other person believe that this isn’t real.
Because it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt.
I want to tell him I love him. To bare my soul to him.
He sees the real me, and he doesn’t see anything wrong with me.
And I see him. His bright, beautiful soul. He’s perfect.
I need him in my life for good.
So that’s why I have this big special date planned with all his favorite things. And after we have an amazing day together, I’m going to come clean. I’m going to tell him I love him, and that I want him for real.
It already feels like we’re together, and it’s no longer just an act.
This friends with benefits thing was never that. It was a way for me to have Levi in all the ways I wanted him. And he deserves to know that.
Brogan lied to him, used him, put him down, and I don’t want him to think I don’t respect him. I do. So fucking much.
The deeper we get, the more the guilt is eating at me.
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep lying to him.
And as I sit here, watching him with his cousins, how he is with them, all I can see is him with our kids, playing with them, caring for them, loving them.
I want that with Levi. The house, the kids, the life. I want to marry him, spend the rest of my life making him happy, showing him how fucking amazing he is.
But I can’t have any of that until we talk. Until he knows everything.
And the fear of what he might do scares the living shit out of me.
I can’t lose him. If I did, I don’t think I’d recover.
“Ready?” Levi asks.
We’ve been at the party for a while now. Most of his family has gone home and the sun is setting. It was a good time, and seeing his Nan’s pure joy over my gift was the best feeling. I love that woman. She might be the only person who’s ever understood me without me even having to tell her a thing.
“Yeah.” I smile up at him. “Our baby is probably missing us.”
So, yeah, Peanut has grown on me. I love the little bugger. He really is the sweetest thing ever. Between him and Snicklefritz, I think I’ve become the crazy pet dad.
And I don’t hate it.
“Our baby, huh?” he chuckles as I stand. “We’ve gone from dating, moving in together, then adopting a pet. I think the next step is marriage,” he jokes.
“Name the time and place and I’ll be there.”
His eyes widen, lips part, and I seem to have shocked him. He doesn’t know if I’m joking or not. I’m not. I’d go down to the courthouse and marry this man right now if I could.
“You're crazy,” he laughs it off, shaking his head. “Come on. Let’s say goodbye and head home.”
Home. Yes. Home.
Where we can be alone.
I’ve been dying to get Levi alone again. Since the first time we’ve had sex, we haven’t been able to keep our hands off one another. I’d live in that man's ass if I could.
Okay, maybe that’s weird, but fuck, I love the way he feels around my cock. The way his ass strangles me as he cries out in pleasure. The look on his face as he’s caught in ecstasy.
Grabbing Levi’s hand, we quickly say our goodbyes to whoever’s left and rush to the car.
“Someone's eager.” Levi laughs as we get into the car.
I shoot him a heated look, and his lips snap shut, a blush creeping over his cheeks.
“I’m so fucking eager, baby,” I growl. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my hands off you all day, when really all I wanted was to be back home, naked in my bed, you under me as you cum like my good little cum slut?”
His pupils dilate as he shifts in his seat. My eyes drop to his obvious erection, and I grin. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Maybe,” he grumbles.
I chuckle, leaning in to grip his chin to kiss him. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll keep you up all night cumming around my cock.”
“Austin,” he whimpers. I steal a quick kiss before throwing the car into drive.
I’m surprised we don’t get into an accident with how fast I’m going, but my cock is hard as fucking stone, my body is on fire, and I want to do a fuck ton of dirty things to my man.
When we get to the apartment, I park the car and rush out, opening his car door. He laughs at me, but I shut him up quickly with a heated kiss, my tongue thrusting into his mouth.
“Don’t be a brat,” I growl against his lips. “Let me take care of you. Now, get that sexy ass upstairs before I fuck you right here against the car.”
“I don’t think I care at this point,” he moans as I grip his cock, giving it a punishing squeeze. “Austin?”
“Yes, baby?” I suck and nip at his neck.
“Don’t go easy on me. Use me. Please. Do whatever the fuck you want.”
“Fucking hell, Levi,” I groan. “You’re handing me a loaded gun, baby.”
“Use it.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. “Please.”
This primal urge takes over me, like a switch being flicked. Months of messing around here and there, but never taking that step over the line.
Now that we have, we will never go back to how things were. This whole friends with benefits thing has taken on a new meaning for us.
This man isn’t just my best friend, he’s the love of my life.
And I will never get enough of his heart, soul, and body.
“You are fucking amazing, you know that?” I grab his hand and tug him towards the building. We get to the elevator and I push the button, huffing when the door doesn’t open right away.
A little laugh from Levi has my head snapping over to see him trying not to smile.
“You think something is funny?” I ask, raising a brow.
“You're so cute when you're horny.”
The elevator dings and the door opens. Grabbing Levi by the shoulders, I shove him into the elevator and against the wall. He lets out a grunt, eyes widening in surprise.
I quickly press the number to our floor before my lips are on his.
He moans, arms wrapping around my neck. I growl, grabbing the backs of his thighs and lifting him into my arms.
We kiss wildly, all tongues and teeth. I shove him back against the wall, grinding on him, my cock fucking begging to be put out of its misery.
When the doors open, I don’t even bother looking before I’m walking out of the elevator with Levi in my arms.
His fingers tangle in my hair, kissing me needily. I fucking love it. I love how much he craves me. How much he loves sex. More importantly, sex with me.
I hate that I waited so long to take this step between us, but I didn’t want to push him for something he wasn't ready for.
Clearly, sex is something we are both very ready for now. Maybe too ready. If I had it my way, I'd lock us away in our apartment and never leave his ass.
Grabbing my keys from my pocket, I blindly try to open the door, but get frustrated when I get nowhere.
When I look away to find the key, Levi sucks at my neck, making my cock jerk against his. “Fuck baby. You're driving me crazy.”
“Naked,” he moans, already seeming to be lust drunk. “I want us naked.”
I carry him through the door and slam it shut behind us. “No argument from me.” I put him down, and we claw at our clothes, getting rid of them as fast as we could.
Once we’re naked, I take a moment to enjoy his beautiful body.
He stands there, chest heaving, cock dripping with pre-cum. “Get on your knees.”
“What?” His brows furrow.
“Get on your fucking knees, Levi,” I growl.
He blinks but does what he’s told, getting down to his knees. “Good boy.” I grin, preening at the way he trusts me. “Now, crawl to me.”
His eyes go lidded, and he catches on to what I want.
Licking his lips, he leans forward with his hands to the floor and starts to crawl to me.
“Oh fuck.” I breathe out, not having any clue just how much I’d love to have him like this.
It’s all new to me. I’m just going with my instincts, and fuck, do I ever like what I see.
Levi looks like sex and sin as he prowls towards me.
I’m a fucking mess by the time he gets to me, and I fear I might cum before I even get a chance to be inside him.
Maybe I should make him suck me dry, play with him until I’m ready to go again, and then fuck him until he’s a sobbing mess. Yeah, I like that plan.
Levi stops right in front of me and leans back to look up at me with this submissive look in his eyes.
Fucking hell.
“Such a good fucking boy.” I praise him, leaning down to brush his hair out of his face, then take his glasses off, placing them on the table by the front door next to me.
His hazel eyes stare up at me, waiting for me to tell him what to do next. But I don’t know what to do. This is all new to me.
I’m starting to panic when Levi leans in and rubs his cheek against my cock. I suck in a breath as he hums in content. “I love your cock.” he whispers. “So big and velvety soft.”
My heart pounds in my chest as I stare down at this man in awe.
He runs the tip of his nose up my cock, and it twitches. My hands fist at my side, not doing anything, wanting to see what he does next.