10. Kayshon
The following Thursday…
*doom, doom, doom*
Stepping back from the door, I wait for the resident to acknowledge my intense knocks. My frown deepens as more time passes, and my impatience grows. Nearly a week and absolute silence has me on the verge of losing my shit. I’ve reached my limit with waiting, so here I am, popping up because I’m over this bullshit. Hearing the locks disengage has my eyes razor-focused on the screen door as the front door opens, and the object of my affection and current irritation comes into view.
“Why are you here?”
I’m unsure if the look of boredom or the nonchalance in Ashari’s tone disturbs me more, but I walk closer to the screen door she has yet to open.
“Fuck you mean? I haven’t heard from or seen your ass since you dipped without a trace or breadcrumb to let me know you were leaving.”
Ashari rolls her eyes while resting her right hand on her waist but making no attempt to unlock the screen for me to get any closer to her. My jaw clenches as I stare into her blank eyes because she isn’t the least bit as frazzled or concerned as I am. The vein in my neck starts pulsing against my skin as tingles enter my hands.
“Why are you looking and sounding like that? What’s wrong with you?” I ask as my blood pressure elevates.
“The fact that you’re here beating your chest like you have the right is wild to me.”
“Man, Shari. What the fuck are you talking about? You left a nigga with his balls to the wall and then have the nerve to stand here like you saw me fuck the cat lady or some shit.”
“Had I known fucking you would have been like being fucked by a robotic mannequin at Macy's, I would have let you stay rolling in her litter box. Do better, Johnny Five.” With that, Ashari steps back and slams the door in my face, leaving me with my mouth hanging and volcanic lava surging through my bloodstream.
*doom, doom*
“Ashari! Open this fucking door! Who the fuck is Johnny F—aw, hell nah,” I say with a deep frown when Damon Wayans in a knockoff hero cape flashes in my mind as the robot he often paraded comes to my remembrance.
Seconds tick into minutes as silence and nothing from Ashari has me contemplating going to my car to retrieve the toolbox I have in my trunk for emergencies. Taking her screen door off before picking the lock seems like a good idea to me.
“Hey, baby,” I hear, causing my teeth to grind together as I walk off Ashari’s porch and head to my vehicle without acknowledging Honesty and her bullshit. The thought of speaking to her while Ashari and I are on the outs has a bitter taste filling my mouth. I also know Ashari’s ass is watching me, despite responding or opening her door, and my ass is in enough trouble with her. I ain’t got time to allow Honesty to add to my list of fuck ups with Ashari.
“Why don’t you sit so you can tell me what’s got you so worked up? I’m getting a little dizzy trying to follow you around this office,” Letitia says.
I’ve been pacing her office since she welcomed me in, as the confrontation between Ashari and I have been sitting in my stomach all fucking day.
“She had the fucking nerve to call me Johnny Five. Ain’t nobody ever complained about how I’ve fucked them, so she must have the damn problem. Although it sure ain’t her pussy because that good mothafucka drained me and put a nigga to sleep like a TKO,” I say momentarily, pausing my steps to look at Letitia, who exhales.
“While I’m happy about you talking and giving me a minute to rest my eyes, why don’t you tell me what happened so I can understand your current disposition.”
“For the first time ever, I planned a date that I was excited about due to the woman I worked hard at trying to please. Dinner was smooth and freeing because our conversation had been light and easy, like Sunday morning. I even had a space in my backyard set up romantically for us to spend the rest of the night. Since Ashari clowned my ass before, I decided to share with her the secret I had already sworn her to keep. Ms. Aretha and I have been reading a four-book series, so I decided to read the book I’m currently in, to Ashari.” Stopping, I start pacing again as the reminder of how the night ended enters my mind, causing my body to fill with tension.
“Awe, that sounds very romantic because most men wouldn’t think of something like that, especially for a first date,” Letitia says, causing me to grimace and continue pacing.
“Man, I ain’t never done no shit like that before. Yet, Ashari is unlike any woman I’ve experienced, and I was attempting to get a different result. Humph, that shit backfired like a Ford Pinto.”
A grin upturns Letitia’s lips as she shakes her head, and I ain’t feeling it or my efforts being dismissed by Ashari. My ass has been in a sour mood all day from our encounter this morning, and talking about it now isn’t providing me with any relief. In fact, the urge to leave and return to her place increases the more my steps hit the carpet in this office.
“Talk, Kayshon. Keeping whatever is going on inside will only fuel the aggression seeping through your body and altering the calm atmosphere in this space,” Letitia says, snapping me out of my thoughts as my eyes return to her.
“Messing around with Love Belvin’s hypnotic ass, I was throwing my tablet aside and dipping into Ashari’s stalker-inducing pussy before ADJ could get the response from Rayna he was seeking on that damn dining room table.”
“Oh my. What’s the name of this book, did you say?” Letitia asks with wide eyes and an unfamiliar spark in her orbs.
“Later. Focus, Letitia.”
“Sorry. So, what happened, because I can sense something did?” Letitia asks, returning to her professional tone and posture as her eyes clear instantly.
“I got my shit off and fell asleep,” I say in a duh tone that instantly has a frown covering Letitia’s lips as her brows pinched together.
“Hm. What about Ashari?”
“I guess she went to sleep. Shit, I don’t even know. After my nut entered the condom, I let go of her and slipped out of her pussy before dropping beside her. She was still on all fours when I laid on the bed but I assume she eventually moved and went to sleep. Hell, I don’t know because I was out.”
“Oh goodness. What position did you have sex in, Kayshon? How did Ashari act during the act?” Letitia asks as if talking to someone on the verge of crashing out as her eyebrows draw together.
“Doggy-style. Ashari’s ass kept telling me to slow down and wasn’t moving or making any sound. It’s crazy because most of the women I’ve fucked go as hard as I do when my dick is knocking against their ass.”
“My gosh,” Letitia says, with a deer caught in the headlights expression instantly spiking my body temperature.
“What, man? I ain’t had any complaints before. Shit, I fucked two women simultaneously, and both of their asses were screaming, creaming, and moaning,” I say, grinning.
“What women?” Letitia probes.
My brows hike, my pacing stops, and I start rubbing my beard, wondering if I wanted to tell Letitia about this.
Tell her. She asked, so it is what it is. Neither of those bitches had a single complaint and taught you how women prefer to be fucked from behind.
“Rema and her best friend, Carleen.”
“Where was Humphrey when this happened?”
“So check this. Humphrey, Rema, and Carleen had a threesome the week prior, making me jealous and curious because Humphrey’s face held pleasure and bliss, making me put a plan in motion. I saw one of those newly released from prison cards on the kitchen counter two days later, and it was like fate was working with me. I stole money from Humphrey’s wallet and went to the ex-con's house. I paid the nigga to fuck Humphrey so his ass would be sleep while I got firsthand experience with a threesome between Rema, her girl, and I,” I say with a sinister grin I can’t contain.
“Wow. Where were your brothers when all this went down?”
“Luckily for me, Jawaan and Kyce wanted to attend an away football game. I faked being sick so I could get my dick wet. Fucking two women who not only happily took my dick but also taught me how to stroke their pussy had been nirvana.”
Silence spreads throughout the office as Letitia’s hand scurries over the notebook in her lap. The grin slides from my lips when Ashari’s look from this morning enters my mind replacing the blissful haze fucking Rema and Carleen had me in.
“It’s crazy that Ashari didn’t throw her ass in a circle like Rema, Carleen, Honesty, and the rest of the women I’ve fucked did. Like, every other time I’ve had a woman in that position, my nut met me without fail. Shit, I could have told Ashari’s ass to invest in some lube because her pussy didn’t get as wet as I’m used to, but I didn’t. Yet, her ass wanted to call me fucking Johnny Five,” I say as my chest pinches and my mouth twists, making me desperate to erase the look on Ashari’s face.
“Before I provide my thoughts, let me ask another question,” Letitia says, causing me to focus on her as she hits the notebook with the pencil.
“Go ahead.”
“How long did you carry on a sexual relationship with Rema?”
“Ow, man. Fucking Rema’s ass had become my favorite pastime, especially after Humphrey died. It felt like Rema was addicted to my dick, and my young ass loved every minute of it.”
“So, how long did it go on?”
“Up until two years after my emancipation from foster care,” I say, deadpan, as my pain stretches across my chest at the memory of what led to me backing off Rema’s conniving ass.
“Why? I mean, you seem like having sex with Rema was the best thing ever, so what changed?”
“Becoming Lance.”
“I don’t understand. Please clarify.”
“Rema’s ass tried to pin a baby on me.”
Letitia’s eyes bulge so fast that I step back, waiting to see if the mothafucker will fall from their sockets. Again, her mouth opens and closes for a few seconds before she blinks, while her back slams into the back of her chair.
“You got her pregnant,” she says as if the words are causing her some pain.
“Hell no. Rema didn’t know that I had heard her telling our bitch ass social worker that she was unable to have children, which is why she had become a foster parent. Her conniving ass had a sonogram and everything, trying to convince me that we were having a baby. The shit disgusted me so much I stopped returning her calls and blocked her stupid ass.”
Sometime after one a.m.
Getting in bed around ten and still unable to fall asleep is grinding my gears, but it's what’s happening. I have been lying here replaying Letitia’s words over and over in my head as my chest clenches and unclenches with a stabbing pain I’m unable to reconcile. No one has ever called me on my shit or made me consider the effects or consequences I’ve never received from my actions. I didn’t see a problem with what I’d been doing until Letitia damn near broke me down to my fucking ankle socks.
“While the pregnancy scare is unfortunate, I’m happy it happened. Somewhere between the first escapade and the scare, you romanticized what was going on between you and Rema Gardner. I believe that you have been using sex as a weapon to allow you to hide behind the scars you refuse to fully acknowledge.”
When Letitia didn’t say anything for nearly ten minutes after my last rant, I sat my ass on her couch and waited until she was able to speak. It seems that Letitia has gotten her bearings and is about to lay my ass bare. My pulse races and my heartbeat sounds in my ears as Letitia continues.
“Let me enlighten you on why the situation between you and Ashari is drastically different in comparison to the baseless fucking you’ve done with everyone else. Kayshon, you were a vulnerable teenager having sex with grown women who guided the encounters according to their needs. Their needs never had you, your feelings, your mental capacity, or your performance in mind. As a result, your na?ve and traumatized ass adopted fucking as a sport that you wielded like a sword. Now, here you are offended because Ashari left you when, in actuality, you should be ashamed of what took place between you and the woman you claim you want something long-term with. You fucked Ashari like a headless rubber pussy without feeling, consideration, or effort, so I’m pretty sure her pussy didn’t get wet because you never gave it a reason to be excited, much like the woman connected to it. What’s sadder to me is that Ashari isn’t completely done with you because she should be.”
Well damn, Letitia. Where is your professionalism?
“Man, how are you coming at me like this and so aggressively, Letitia? How would them people feel about how you handle your clients?”
“What you fail to realize is the error of your ways. Therefore, my professionalism has to take a back seat so I can get low enough for you to understand and comprehend my words.”
“Damn. Why are you saddened by Ashari, though?”
“Her words tell me that she’s not fully done with you, and you’re too cocky to see the lifeline she gave you. Do better hits much different than lose my address or stay away from me.”
“Fuck!” I shout while jumping out of bed. Letitia’s words hit me like a ton of bricks, and the urge to correct my mistake invades my body.
Like the house is on fire, I throw on a shirt, joggers, and slides before grabbing my cell phone and running out of my bedroom. The late hour or Sassy’s barking from her kennel cannot stop me from leaving with my mind on getting to Ashari’s place as fast as I can.
Damn. I’m coming for your ass, Ashari. This time, I won’t fuck up.