16. Ashari
Two days later…
“Thank you, Kayshon. I love you for taking care of me,” I say, snuggling under my blankets as my legs rock back and forth.
“Let me find out that all I had to do was bring you a care package to get those three words outta you. I love your aggy ass too, Shari.”
Unlike most women whose pre-menstrual and menstrual issues make them either extremely mean or crave chocolate, I’m a super eater. I crave food in general; most of the time, it is the types of foods that don’t mix and are similar to pregnant women. I’m sure Kayshon thought I was crazy after our date, and my food cravings made me eat like someone whose diet had failed. Kayshon had been giving me the side-eye the entire time I ate after we got back to his house, yet I didn’t address it. Now, here I am in bed, dealing with the entrance of my monthly cycle. It always makes me want to slap fire out of Eve for allowing that serpent to steal the plan of us women.
“As long as you continue to give me reasons to love you, I’ll let you be aggy. Now, hush.” Closing my eyes, I groan as pain radiates through my midsection, causing me to want to end conversations between Kayshon and me.
Feeling the bed dip, I grimace because the pain increases with that subtle movement, causing me to jump slightly when Kayshon’s arm comes around my waist. His hand gently rubs circles on my stomach, and somehow, it soothes me.
“Loving you doesn’t change whether you’re aggy or not, so I’m good, Shari,” Kayshon whispers.
I don’t respond because the comfort of his hold and the gliding of his hand allow my body and mind to settle into a peaceful slumber.
*zzit, zzit*
The blaring of my phone stirs me awake, seemingly minutes after I got comfortable in the depths of my sleep. “Shit!”
*zzit, zzit*
“Can you answer my phone, Kayshon?” I ask without moving because the opening of my eyes also causes the return of the cramps I’m desperate to push through.
“Oh, I know your ass is in a rare mood, but yeah, I got you.” Kayshon releases my waist and gets out of bed to grab my phone. “Hello.”
Kayshon goes silent as whoever is on the phone says whatever they need before a chuckle leaves his mouth, causing me to peek my head from under the blankets.
“Who is it?” I ask.
“It’s your dad, who is acting like the world is about to end because some strange nigga is answering his baby’s phone,” Kayshon says, smirking.
“Oh, Lord. Jeffrey Weeks is so dramatic,” I grumble, watching Kayshon’s eyes as light and merriment fill them, letting me know that Dad isn’t saying anything bad or threatening. “Put it on speaker.”
Nodding, Kayshon pulls the phone from his ear and hits the button instantly, allowing me to hear Dad’s shenanigans.
“Lord, I have been wondering why Ashari has been neglecting her parents, but my prayers have been answered. You keep looking out for me and Ashanti despite our heathen ways. Whew. Thank You for showing up for my baby.” Dad is ranting, sounding like he is crying, and I roll my eyes because he would respond this way.
The next thing I know, Mom enters whatever room Dad is in and after quickly finding out what’s going on, she adds to the madness.
“Well, hello, sweetie. If my baby allows you to answer the phone, it tells me that she’s comfortable enough to be around you longer than twenty minutes, and she tolerates most of your gender. Who do I have the pleasure of welcoming into the family?”
Kayshon laughs heartily, and pain causes me to rock back and forth instead of being able to speak about what Mom is saying.
“Kayshon. I’m looking forward to being a part of the family, Ms. Ashanti.”
Lord, my parents have given this man another reason to remind me why we’re locked in.
My mind goes back to the first time Kayshon and I met, when he told me without reservation or hesitation that he was going to marry me. It took me the rest of that day to settle his words in my mind, but I dismissed it after realizing that I would never see him again.
God, you got jokes because I had no clue this is where I would be now with this man.
“Oh, sure. As soon as Shari feels better, I’ll have her set a date for us to get together at my crib.”
“All right, that sounds good,” Mom says as I tune back into the conversation without any of the three of them, including me, in the discussion.
“Awe, my poor baby. What’s wrong with her?” Dad interjects.
Closing my eyes, I tune out the conversation so I can drift back to sleep to erase the pain radiating through my belly. It seems like Kayshon can handle whatever my parents are saying. Therefore, I can go back to sleep and let them have it.
“Aye, Shari, uh, you got something on you,” Kayshon says hesitantly.
Turning around, I see the wide-eyed gaze he’s giving me as my eyebrows hike and my nose wrinkles. Without saying anything else, Kayshon points to the nightdress covering my body. Grabbing the back of the dress, I pull it out so I can see what he’s talking about.
“Oh no,” I say as my stomach drops to my feet when I see two bright crimson stains on the material.
Kayshon’s eyes are assessing me, and mine instantly fill with tears that fall freely at the horror of this situation. Although we’re moving through the day at my place, I stand immobile, praying that the floor will open and swallow me up. My mind returns to a similar incident, causing heat to hit my neck and face.
“Girl, go on to school. You aren’t the first or last girl who’s going to get her period, so get used to this event every damn month. As a collective, God should allow us to jump Eve’s ass when we get to Heaven,” Mom says, frowning.
“Heaven?” My nose wrinkles, and I frown because Ashanti and Jeffrey Weeks ain’t spent a single Sunday in church despite occasionally allowing Amari and me to go with Papa Ren.
“Girl, hush. Get out of here so you don’t miss the bus.”
Doing as Mom says, I grab my book bag and head out the door, running to the bus stop when I see Ms. Donna approaching the stop.
“Come on, Shari, man. Let me help you get yourself together,” Kayshon says, snapping me out of the brief memory of my period disaster.
What Mom didn’t advise while pushing me to get to the bus stop was to not wear the pink pants, white shirt, and white tennis shoes. By the time the bus got to the school, my pants were ruined, and the seat held a reminder of my monthly cycle. It took almost three months and multiple busted lips to get the kids to stop calling me Carrie. Kayshon lifts me bridal style with me holding my butt so his arm doesn’t come in contact with the evidence of what’s happening with me. Kayshon climbs the steps slowly, and his eyes are on me with the most loving and comforting expression he’s given me.
“Blood or no blood, you will never have a reason to hide your face from me, Shari. Stop tripping. Although I have never had this experience before, it doesn’t turn me off. It’s a first for us, but if I can take care of you like this every month for the rest of our lives, I’ll gladly sign up.”
In the next five minutes, we enter the bathroom, where Kayshon pulls the night dress over my head and starts the shower.
“What kind of mood are you in… second or fourth-degree burn?” Kayshon asks, smirking when his eyes connect with mine.
Tears slip from my eyes at Kayshon’s efforts to take care of me without thought or reservation. I have never had a man do what Kayshon is doing for me right now. Most men can’t handle the sight of blood or the inkling of dealing with a woman while she’s suffering as a result of it. Yet, here Kayshon is, fully invested in getting me together and smiling while doing it.
“Okay, I can deal with this shit here, but the tears can’t happen, Shari. The shit is killing me, so please stop crying. I promise I got you. Don’t trip or overanalyze this moment.”
Instead of my tears slowing, they pick up, and my cries are now vocal, causing Kayshon to stand and wrap me in his arms as my body shakes.
“Y-you’re g-gonna t-touch it,” I say shakily as warmth spreads throughout my body when Kayshon kisses my forehead several times.
“I’m good. Now stop crying, Shari. You also need to answer… second or fourth-degree scalding for this water? It’s only in the Alaskan neighborhood right now because you’re crying and shit.”
Pulling my head from Kayshon’s chest, I look into his eyes as a small smile upturns my lips. “Somewhere between the two should work.”
“Say less.” Kissing my lips, he releases his hold on my body and returns to the knobs to adjust the water.
Several weeks later…
“Wait, that man didn’t treat you like you had the flu or diarrhea by putting on a mask and gloves before touching you?” Jordan asks as Mycah and I laugh at the deer in headlight expression.
“Oh, I can imagine that because he has a brother, that gives me a reason to find out how well stalking can work in my favor,” Mycah interjects.
“He didn’t flinch. He had my ass ready to fuck him despite the constant blood oozing from my pussy.”
“Now, wait a minute, friend. I draw the line at fucking while bleeding,” Jordan says, frowning.
“Hm. Don’t knock it until you try it because I have found out that it eases cramps better than Midol,” Mycah adds.
Staring at Mycah, I don’t respond because my mind swirls while I wonder if there’s any truth in her statement.
“So, your freaky ass is fucking on your period?” Jordan asks loudly, causing the other patrons in the restaurant to look in our direction.
My mouth twists as my hands rest on my cheek while my gaze bounces back and forth between Jordan and Mycah. This is why I enjoy spending time with my girls; sisterhood is sometimes created and not born into. While I love Amari, we don’t always see eye to eye, and I would rather be with my girls. My parents have spoiled Amari’s ass, so I often don’t feel like dealing with the aftermath.
“Several times,” Mycah says with her chest out.
“Well damn. Just when you think you know a person. Who are these ninjas you’re letting break you off while Mother Nature plays hopscotch in your cooch?” Jordan asks, causing Mycah and me to laugh again and draw attention to our table.
“A girl never kisses and tells,” Mycah says, zipping her lips.
“Oh, bestie, we’re way past modesty at this point,” I say, entering the conversation.
“Tell her, friend. Like, how are you picking and choosing the level of ho-dom you can share. Be for real, Mycah,” Jordan says, shaking her head.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” a familiar voice greets, halting the conversation. Jordan and Mycah look like they’ve seen a ghost.
“Hey, Papa Ren,” I say, smiling.
“P-Pastor Reese,” Jordan stutters.
“God is amazing, Pastor,” Mycah adds.
Papa Ren smiles as merriment dances in his orbs, making me wonder if he’s overheard our conversation.
“Yes, he is, sweetie,” Evangelist Tolliver says, causing me to shift to the right, taking note of the other ministers within Pursuing His Glory Ministries .
Well, isn’t this awkward?
“Hello, Ms. Ashari. When are you bringing these lovely ladies to church with you?” Minister Davenport asks as Jordan sits back in her chair like she’s trying to become one with the seat.
“I’m not sure,” I answer, staring at Papa Ren, whose assessing eyes are still on me, making me feel like I’m under a microscope.
The intensity of Papa Ren’s gaze causes me to squirm and pull my eyes away from him so I can focus on something other than what he might be thinking.
Now, God, please. I’m still trying to maneuver through my relationship with Kayshon. I can’t handle another download of information from you. Please… have mercy on me.
“Ladies, we’re gonna be on our way, but enjoy the rest of your day,” Papa Ren says, causing me to exhale prematurely. “Before we go, I want you all to know and understand that there is never a reason for any of you to run from the things God has said. His will for your lives will come to pass regardless of how fast you run.” With that, Papa Ren walks away and his entourage follow behind him further into the restaurant.
*bzz, bzz*
My phone vibrates on the table, causing me to jump slightly as my heart races, and my hand shakes when I pick it up. Two unread messages pop up on the screen as I bite my lip while opening my text app.
Papa Ren:
The way your eyes froze before looking away from me is the only reason I chose to walk away. However, God still shared some things with me concerning you. For now, I’ll hold onto the information. Love you much, Ashari Jade.
My heart rate elevates, causing my breath to hitch while reading and rereading Papa Ren’s message because I knew something was up while looking at him. Although I’m grateful that he didn’t share the message with me at this moment, I’m now curious about what he’s withholding. Releasing the breath gathering in my chest, I close out of Papa Ren’s message and go to the next one.
My Reformed Cat Catcher:
Hey, Shari. Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you. I hope you’re enjoying your girl time.
Kayshon’s words warm me in a way that causes my pussy to tingle and my chest to expand. Knowing that, even in our separation, Kayshon thinks about me makes my heart skip a beat. Falling in love with Kayshon wasn’t easy, but now that I’m feeling it, I don’t regret falling for him.
Now, if I can just get him to address the elephant stomping through the room we jointly occupy.
Not knowing what decision Kayshon made pertaining to our future causes my blood pressure to spike. Yet, I’m holding my thoughts until Kayshon opens up and tells me, even though fear silently grips me at the thought of not having children in the future.