Chapter Eight
chapter eight
RYDER
“She’s here,” Julian says over the phone. “Beautiful and healthy and fucking perfect. Both mom and baby are doing well.”
When I saw him earlier at the office, he said Ana was having some contractions, but it wasn’t enough to go to the hospital. I guess they progressed.
“Congratulations, man.”
“Thanks. Her name is Emilia Helen Parker, named after Ana’s mom and mine,” he says.
He goes over the labor and delivery, her height and weight, and how proud he is of Ana. I’m so happy that my best friend found love, and when I listen to him talk, it gives me hope that maybe, someday, I’ll find that too.
“Let us know when you’re home and situated, and we’ll come by and visit. And let Ana know I think she’s superwoman. Oh! And tell her that if she’s not up for running the discussion in our book club, I can do it for her.”
Julian chuckles. “Will do.”
After hanging up with Julian, I email my assistant to have her send a baby gift to Ana and Julian at the hospital. As I’m clicking Send, a scream echoes through the house, and I flinch, wishing there were something I could do. Since Kira and Violet moved in, the screams happen every few nights. The first time I heard it, I freaked out and ran straight to Kira’s room, only to find her fast asleep. The second time it happened, she came down, and I ended up spilling my past to her and then reading to her until she fell asleep.
I debated on whether to carry her to bed, but I had fallen asleep on that couch and woken up with a crick in my neck and didn’t want the same for her.
The past few times it happened, she either stayed asleep or didn’t come down. As I wait to see what she’ll do tonight, I scroll through my phone, checking my emails. But when the creak of the door sounds, followed by footsteps on the stairs, I grab my book to make it look like I’m reading so she doesn’t think I heard her.
“Hey,” she says softly.
“Hey.”
I set my book down to give her my attention. Her hair is up in a messy ponytail, and her face is natural. She has tiny black circles under her eyes from her lack of sleep, but even still, she looks beautiful. Her blue eyes are darker, missing their usual brightness, and I wish I could fix whatever is causing her nightmares, so they’ll go away. I was hoping after I told her my story, she would open up about hers, but it’s been a little over a week, and she hasn’t said a word.
“Still reading the same book?” she asks, sitting on the couch across from me and lying against the pillow.
“Yeah. I’ve been busy with work.” The truth is, I’m almost done with the book, but I don’t tell her that.
She nods in understanding and then says, “Can you read me some more?”
Since I dog-eared the page I stopped on when I read to her the last time, I find it quickly and start reading again. I feel her eyes on me as I read page after page, but I don’t look up or stop reading. When I get to the sex scene, it takes everything in me to read it out loud. It’s detailed, and even though we’re both adults who have obviously had sex, there’s something intimate about reading the words to someone else.
When the heroine orgasms, I glance up and find Kira staring at me, her eyes bright and her legs pressed together. She’s wearing a flimsy tank top, and I can’t help but notice the way her nipples are poking through it.
Fuck, she’s turned on. And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t.
“Well, keep going,” she says, her words coming out breathy. “I need to know what happens next.”
I chuckle and continue, “ ‘Shit! Pull out!’
“ His eyes go wide, and he jerks back. His dick springs at attention, and ropes of cum shoot out across my belly.
“‘ I’m so sorry,’ he breathes. ‘I’ve never gone without a condom. ’”
Kira snorts out a laugh, and I glance back up at her.
“Typical man.” She rolls her eyes. “That’s exactly what Raymond said to me the night I got pregnant with Violet.”
I’m shocked she’s opening up to me, so I don’t say anything, letting her talk.
“A month later, I found out I was pregnant, and he pulled the whole I’m not ready for that kind of commitment shit.” Another eye roll. “He told me having kids wasn’t in his plans and asked why I wasn’t on birth control. One, I was. But I was a college student and sucked at remembering. That’s what condoms are for.”
She sits up and flails her arms, and I hold back my laughter at how adorable she is when she’s worked up. Usually, Kira is calm, cool, and collected. I’ve never seen her so much as raise her voice at me or the girls.
“Anyway,” she continues, “he dumped me and said to let him know when the baby was born and he would sign over his rights.” Her anger morphs into sadness as she says, “I was hoping he’d see her and change his mind. I was raised without a dad because mine walked away, and I didn’t want the same for my daughter.” She sighs. “He wouldn’t even come to see her. He had his attorney file the paperwork, and I never heard from him again. I hate that, one day, I’ll have to tell her that her dad didn’t want her.”
This obviously happened years ago since Violet is almost five, so this can’t be where her nightmares stem from, which means something else must’ve happened more recently.
“It’s for the best,” I tell her honestly. “Better for him to sign his rights over than be a deadbeat dad. Trust me, I’ve seen it firsthand.”
“With Nora?” she asks.
“Her and both of my parents,” I admit. “My mom walked away because she wanted a normal life instead of being the wife of Henry Du Ponte, Texas royalty.”
I say his name and title in a mocking tone, and Kira laughs.
“You do look good with a tiara on.” She smirks, reminding me of the other day when I was having a tea party with the girls and Violet insisted that I wear a princess tiara.
“Ha-ha, very funny.” I try to glare at her, but it only makes her laugh harder.
Her eyes light up, and her cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. There’s nothing more beautiful than watching Kira laugh.
“Anyway,” I say once she’s stopped laughing, “instead of fighting for me, my mom let my dad get full custody, which meant I was raised by a nanny because my dad cared more about winning than raising me.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, her smile disappearing. “That sucks. My mom isn’t the most responsible or successful, but she’s always had my back. I can’t imagine having no one.”
“I learned family isn’t just about blood. It’s a choice. I have Addie and Julian and Ana. My brother and I aren’t close because of our ten-year age difference, but we get along. And my grandfather and I have a good relationship.”
“That’s great that you have people,” she says with a sad look in her eyes.
“You do too,” I tell her. “You have me.”
“I appreciate that,” she says with a nod. “And just so you know, you have me as well.”
I smile at her, thankful that she came into my life. I hate whatever it is that she went through to get here, but she and her daughter are growing on me.
“Should I keep going?” I lift the book.
“Yes!” She beams, lying back on the couch and cuddling the pillow. “I can’t wait to find out how he reacts to her being pregnant.”
“How do you know she’s even pregnant?” I ask.
“Oh, c’mon,” she scoffs. “It’s romance. She’s totally knocked up again,” she says, referring to the heroine who is also a single mom.
I chuckle at her and then continue to read. When the heroine announces she’s pregnant, Kira laughs, her adorable dimple on her right cheek popping out, and says, “I told you so.”
I keep reading until a soft snore fills the air, and then just like last time, I dog-ear the page and carry her up to bed. As I watch her sleep, her features soft and carefree, my heart clenches in my chest, and I know I’m in trouble. Because despite my best efforts, I’m slowly falling for my damn nanny.
“What are you guys up to today?” I ask as Kira, carrying Addie on her hip, and Violet appear in the kitchen.
Violet is in her bathing suit, and Kira and Addie are both wearing pink cover-ups.
“I got my new suit!” Violet says, pointing at her bathing suit that’s covered in flamingos and half-eaten doughnuts.
Since they didn’t have bathing suits and we have a pool, Kira ordered them online and had them delivered to the house.
“I see that. Are the flamingos eating all the doughnuts?” I joke.
“No!” Violet laughs. “Flamingos don’t eat doughnuts, silly. Only people do!”
“Oh,” I say with a chuckle. “In that case …” I pretend like I’m going to snatch the doughnut off her belly, and she jumps back with a giggle.
“No, don’t eat my doughnuts!” She covers her belly. “Eat Mommy’s!”
She reaches over and lifts Kira’s cover-up, exposing the same pattern Violet has on. She only gets the material up a tiny bit, and I can’t help noticing the doughnut that’s conveniently located right above her?—
“Don’t even think about it.” Kira glares as if she can hear my thoughts.
“What?” I say innocently.
“You know what.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but that’s cute.” I nod toward her now-covered-up suit. “You have doughnuts and flamingos on your bathing suit.”
“Violet wanted matching suits.”
“Addie got one too!” Violet exclaims, lifting my daughter’s cover-up to show me her matching bathing suit. “See? We all got one!”
I glance from Addie to Kira, and something in me shifts. She’s struggling to make ends meet, and she was living out of her car. Yet when I paid her for the first time, she didn’t just buy Violet and herself bathing suits. She also bought one for my daughter. She never asked me for the money or even mentioned it. She did it so Addie wouldn’t feel left out even though she’s only a year old and she probably wouldn’t care.
But Kira cared. The way a mom is supposed to care. The way I wanted my mom and Addie’s mom to care.
But Kira isn’t her mom.
She’s her nanny.
I look at Addie, completely comfortable in Kira’s arms, and wonder if maybe I made a mistake. She’s young and vulnerable, and she’s already getting attached. What happens in few months if Kira decides she doesn’t want to continue to work for me? Or if she does and signs the nine-month contract, what happens once it ends? She’ll have more than enough money to move out on her own, and Violet will be in school. The chances of her wanting to stay here and work for me are slim.
She’ll leave.
Just like my mom left.
Just like Nora left.
And Addie and I will be left heartbroken.
“I hope that’s okay,” Kira says slowly, as if she can sense me mentally freaking out. “I probably should’ve asked first.”
Ignoring the fact that I included myself when I thought about being left heartbroken, I shake my head. “No, that’s okay,” I choke out. “I appreciate you including her.”
I take Addie from Kira and set her in her high chair. With Kira here now, our routine has changed, and even though it’s a lot calmer, I kind of miss Addie’s and my crazy mornings.
“You sure?” Kira asks.
“Yeah.”
I feel her eyes on me, but I refuse to look at her, afraid she’ll see what I’m trying to hide—I’m falling for a woman I have no business falling for.
“So, what’s on the agenda today?” I ask, keeping myself busy by making Addie a cup of milk while Kira makes the girls breakfast.
“I wanted to go to the water park, but Mommy said no,” Violet whines.
I glance at Kira, confused. I gave her my card and told her she could do whatever she wanted with the girls and that money was no object.
“Why can’t you go?” I ask.
Kira’s facing away from me, but her back stiffens. “As I told Violet, we’ll go another time. Today, we’re going to the pool.”
“You said that last time,” Violet argues.
“Violet,” Kira says, using what I’m assuming is her mom voice because I’ve never heard her tone that serious before. “If you don’t want to go to the pool, then you can sit out.” She raises a single brow, making it clear that what she said is final.
Violet pouts, but doesn’t argue.
While Kira finishes cutting up fruit for the girls, I think about the past couple of weeks that she’s been here, wondering if I’ve made her feel like she can’t go places with the girls. I gave her my card and thought I was clear that I was okay with her taking them wherever they wanted. It’s the summer, and they should be out, having fun, yet now that I think about it, they haven’t left once. Not unless I’ve gone with them.
“Hey, Kira,” I say. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Um …” She glances at the girls, who are eating their jelly toast and fruit, and I could be wrong, but I think she’s trying to come up with a reason to say no, but she can’t find one.
“Now, please,” I insist.
She sighs and gets up, following me into the living room. We’re close enough that we can see the girls eating, but far enough away that when I speak softly, they can’t hear.
“Is there a reason you haven’t left the house?”
Kira diverts her gaze, and I know immediately that something is up.
“Talk to me, please,” I tell her, tipping her chin so she’ll look at me.
“I can’t drive anywhere,” she whispers.
“What?” That doesn’t make any sense. I’ve seen her drive.
“I was parked in the parking garage to hide my vehicle,” she admits, “because it doesn’t belong to me.”
“What?” I repeat, rearing back in shock. “Did you steal it?” I hiss.
“No.” She shakes her head. “Well”—she swallows thickly—“kind of.”
Fuck. I knew there was more to her story, but have I been aiding in car theft?
“You’re going to need to explain,” I grit out, trying to remain calm when, inside, I’m freaking the hell out. If it ever got out that I was housing a stolen vehicle, the media would have a fucking field day.
My brother has announced his candidacy for president, which means everyone in our family is being watched under a microscope. It helps that I live in a small town and have stayed off the grid, but getting caught stealing would definitely place me in the spotlight.
“It was my husband’s,” she admits, glancing at the girls, who are still eating. “He bought it for me, but kept it in his name. When I left, I had no choice but to take it.”
Holy shit, there’s so much to unpack here, starting with …
“You’re married?”
She nods once. “Not by choice.”
Suddenly, the pieces start coming together—her nightmares, having no phone or money … living in a vehicle that’s stolen.
I’m about to ask her to explain when Addie shrieks, “Up, up!” letting us know she’s done and reminding me that the girls are awake and I need to go into the office today.
“Mommy, I’m done!” Violet announces. “Can we go in the pool now?”
“ Poo !” Addie parrots.
“The girls need me, and I’m sure you need to go to work,” Kira says, as if reading my mind.
The uneasiness in her eyes makes me want to stay here so we can figure this all out because something is wrong, and I hate leaving it unresolved. But she’s right—the girls need her, and I do need to go to work.
“Okay,” I tell her. “We’ll finish this later.”
I give Addie a kiss on the top of her head and then take off. But I’m not even out of the neighborhood when I change my mind and turn around, something inside me telling me that I need to be home today. Whatever is going on with Kira needs to be discussed, but more importantly, as her nervous features replay in my head, I think she needs me.
When I walk back through the house, I find her doing the dishes while Addie and Violet play on the rug and watch a show.
“Dada!” Addie squeals, jumping up and toddling over to me.
I lift her into my arms and give her a kiss, then set her back down just in time to see Kira spin around, her eyes widening in …
Is that fear?
“What’s wrong?” I ask, walking over to her.
“Why are you back?” she asks, answering my question with a question.
“I asked you a question first. What’s wrong ?”
“Are you going to fire me?” Another question instead of an answer.
“What?” I rear back. “Why the hell would you—” And then it hits me. She thinks I’m mad about what she told me. “No, I’m not going to fire you,” I hiss.
“Then, why are you back?” she asks, wrapping her arms across her chest in a defensive move.
“Because,” I say, stepping toward her, “it felt like this was where I needed to be.”
“Because you don’t trust me?”
She looks up at me with the saddest eyes, and I shake my head.
“No, Kira. I trust you,” I tell her honestly.
At first, was I worried about the stolen vehicle coming back to bite me in the ass? Yeah. But once everything started coming together, my only concern was for her.
“I came back because I need to know what happened so I can help you.”
Her eyes fill with unshed tears as she darts her gaze over to Violet, silently telling me that whatever is wrong, she doesn’t want to talk about it in front of her daughter.
I nod in understanding. “It’s been a heavy morning. How about we play hooky today?” I smirk, hoping to lighten the mood. When her eyes lighten a shade and her frown disappears, I know it’s worked. “We’ll take the girls to the water park, and once they’re passed out from exhaustion, we’ll talk.”
Her shoulders sag in relief. “Okay.”
“Hey, Violet,” I say, my eyes staying trained on Kira. “If I can convince your mom to go to the water park, can I have a doughnut?” I waggle my eyes at Kira, nodding toward where I know she’s sporting doughnuts under that cover-up.
The corner of her lips quirks in the beginning of a smile.
“You’re so bad,” she mutters, just before Violet yells through her giggle, “They’re not real!”
“Hmm,” I say, raking my gaze down Kira’s body, knowing I’m playing with fire. “I think I might need to find out for myself,” I murmur so only Kira can hear me.
Her cheeks warm at my insinuation, but she rolls her eyes to play it off. “Very funny, Ryder.” She gently shoves me out of the way as she saunters past me, not glancing back at me until she’s in the living room. “Go get your bathing suit while I get the girls ready to go.”
“What, no doughnut suit for me?” I pout playfully.
Kira shakes her head. “No doughnuts for you.”